I'm 17 years old, live with my Mam and my older brother.
My dream is to go to university and study medicine, if I could have one thing in the whole entire world, it would be that. Not money, not fame, not ridiculous good looks, the chance to study something I'm passionate about and rely on nobody but myself.
My GCSE's weren't great, far from it in fact. There's a reason for that.
Physics - A
Chemistry - B
Biology - B
Maths - C
English Lit - A
English Lang - C
RE - C
Art - A*
Sports Science BTEC - D*4 (A*,A*,A*,A*)
I was stressed at the time of sitting my GCSE exams, stressed due to my current living conditions, and because of the stress I was in hospital most of the way through my GCSE examinations.
I know my GCSE's aren't the end of the world for medicine as long as I apply wisely. I was considering Newcastle, Durham, Aberdeen and Peninsula, they're not as hard on GCSE requirements, however they do have a pretty strict UKCAT cut off, but I'm prepared to work my ass off to get a good UKCAT score. I was pretty disappointed with my GCSE's so I promised that I'd knuckle down for A Levels and really try my hardest to get the grades I need. I'm currently studying Chemistry, Biology, Physics and Psychology at AS level.
In my January exams I achieved AAA for Bio, Chem and Physics.
I have a long list of work experience and extra curricular activities -
- Attended a 1 Day Medical Science Masterclass at Newcastle University. - Amazing, learnt a lot, how to do certain examinations (eye and ear), taking blood, taking blood pressure, etc. Gave me an insight to the career.
- Attended a Medical taster at the Freeman Hospital - Gave me a great deal of knowledge to the career side, and also learnt some diagnosing methods, which we all got to practise on high tech dummies!
- I am a Combat Medic in the Royal Army Medical Corps for the Territorial Army - This has honed my abilities to work under pressure in tight situations, where my assistance is vital I will be able to provide reliable support with minimum stress.
- Volunteer work (Hospital Assistant) for St Johns Ambulance - I walk around, interacting with patients, which has really invoked my caring side to the career. I also get to see how a hospital is run on a daily basis, which shows me the possibilities of the career.
- Volunteer work (Ward bitch) - pretty much do ward jobs, it's fascinating to see how a ward runs, etc.
- Volunteer work at a charity shop (British Heart Foundation) - They needed helpers so I dedicate some of my free time to helping them sell things for a good cause.
- 1 week shadowing a Doctor/Surgeon at a local hospital in March - I get to see how they work second hand and see their approach and ask them questions about the job, etc. I get to see procedures and even get to watch a live surgery. Looking forward to this!
- I got told a care home in my local area is short on assistance so I applied there and have a place assisting, starting in the summer.
- I like hanging out with my friends and going to gigs.
- I self taught guitar and I'm in a band, where we gig regularly, which is normally a load of fun.
- I am team captain in a basketball team, and I also do boxing.
Always working on adding more to my list!
I think I'm in pretty good standing for my application, as long as I get my grades, do well in UKCAT and maybe resit maths and english lang GCSE. I'm prepared to do that if it means getting to where I want to be.
But everyday seems to get harder and harder. Not academically. I can cope fine with the work load, etc. But it's at home where I'm finding trouble coping.
My brother is 19, has a job in Asda, pays his way and just sticks to himself, he understands how hard it is to live here. He gave up on his A levels because of the living conditions here, which is a shame because he's smart, way smarter than me in my opinion. My mam works 9-5, 5 days a week, she doesn't get paid much, even with me and my brother chipping in what we can, most days we don't eat. The house we live in is in a bad area, my room is damp and the walls have mould on, I have wipe the ceiling with a towel often to stop the damp dripping. I feel bad whining about this because I know there are some people much worse off in the world. I just can't take it any-more. I've lost a lot of weight and I'm used to feeling hungry all of the time. Any money that me and my brother earn goes on electric, gas, travel costs, and whatever food we can afford with whatever is left. When my mam gets paid at the end of the month it's usually okay for a few days, we eat pretty regular for 3/4 days but then the money is gone and it's back to the same old sh*t. I am getting stressed again, stressed and angry, punching walls and doors because my own mother won't even listen to me any-more. I don't think I can cope for much longer and each day it gets worse. Being in the army I sometimes go away for weekends and they are literally the best times I could ever had, I get to eat properly and the stress isn't there any-more. I'm 17 years old, growing up in a busy city, I shouldn't be worried about not eating or having enough money to put the electric on for heating. All of my friends get everything they need to live and more, I don't understand why I'm living like this. I feel like sh*t for complaining about this because I know there are a LOT more people who live in far worse situations, and I should be happy for what little I do have, but I'm not, I'm miserable.
Every day I consider transferring to full time Army, moving into the barracks and never coming back.
I want to be a doctor so badly, but I'm starting to doubt whether it's worth going through all of this for another year or more.
What should I do?