(Original post by Bramlow)
I’ve been trying to be a vegetarian for a couple of months now, because I thought it’d get me more success with girls. To be fair, I’ve had quite good results. Normally you’d be chatting to a girl and she might start looking around the room, get bored, and go talk to her mates about nails and stuff. Now I wear a green bracelet that says ‘herbivore’, and start making it really obvious waving my hand to my head and stuff, and they’re like “oh what’s that?”, and I can say “yeah, I’m a vegetarian, eating meat’s just not my style, I don’t agree with it and the way society treats animals like they don’t matter, it’s against my value system.” Then normally she’s like “oh wow, that’s really cool that you actually stand for something.” I’d say I’ve had about 40% more success in my interactions since taking this approach.
Problem is, it just costs so much more money to keep up this lifestyle. Before it was just whatever: get some chicken, fry it, chuck curry source on it, good to go. Now you have to really mix things up a lot to get a good meal. You think plants are cheap, but by the time you’ve bought all the different kinds they’re really not. Like if you’re getting asparagus you pay like £2.50 in Sainsbury’s for a decent pack, half of which probably goes off before you get to eat it anyway. Plus, you have to buy loads of herbs and spices to actually get flavour in stuff. I can’t even tell you how much trouble I’ve had with herbs and spices this month.
So I needed to take up some part time work to get a bit more money for this, so I started doing lawnmowing on this guy’s estate. The pay isn’t great, but it’s pretty easy work. I can just plug in my iPod and listen to music while I’m mowing the lawn. Nothing like rocking out to some Cannibal Corpse while you’re beating the sh*t out of the grass.
Anyway, I was mowing and listening to my music and stuff, and there’s this gap in the trees between this guy’s estate and the house next door. To be honest, there’s no fence or anything there, so you can easily get between the two (pretty bad security tbh). I was mowing there today, and chowing down with my music and stuff, and was pretty sure I saw my mate through the other side of this gap of the trees. Now I don’t know how much you know about lawn mowing, but you’re basically looking at the ground 90-95% of the time, and I only saw him for a sec while I was half-looking up before he was gone. I thought I might as well go through and check this out, because I was pretty bored tbh and fancied a bit of a break. I get paid by the hour, so it’s actually good to waste time sometimes. I would just say that I had to go round the corner to fill up the jerry can for more fuel. No big deal. The guy who owns the place probably wouldn’t even notice that the jerry can was still in the garage.
Thing is, I didn’t just want to leave the lawnmower standing there, but I was the complete other side of the garden to the garage. Imagine that I’m not only the wrong end, but in the back garden rather than out from where the garage was. I decided I’d take the lawn mower with me, because it’s power-driven anyway so isn’t much effort to push pretty far (at least on flat ground, and, tbh, this was almost totally flat).
So I pushed the thing round the corner of this other house, thinking I’d see my mate there. I’m just chilling out listening to music and stuff, and then I turn the corner, and it’s just this guy I didn’t even know. He had the same hair and actually was wearing the same shirt my mate has, so it wasn’t too stupid of me. But it was a completely different guy. He was like, “wtf are you doing in my garden?”
Next thing I know, his Dad’s come out into the garden and is asking me what the hell I’m doing out there. I basically explained that I thought I saw my mate there, so I thought I’d see if it was him, no big deal, my bad, I got it wrong. But he was pretty angry about the whole situation.
I realised I’d made a pretty big error in keeping the lawnmower on this whole time. I wanted to keep it on because it’s power-driven, and if you cut out the engine, you have to push it manually (and it’s pretty heavy sh*t). But this guy’s grass was pretty long, and my mower was at the second lowest level, so I’d basically mowed a strip through his garden right round the corner.
Now I don’t know how much you know about gardens, but once you’ve mowed a single strip in longer grass it looks pretty weird. It’s like when you’re cutting your hair with the clippers and the battery runs out. You just have one short strip among lots of long stuff. So this dude was like, “right, you’ve completely screwed up my garden, I liked it the length it was, but since you’ve done this you’re going to have to finish the rest of it.” Tbh I was pretty spaced out by this point as I’d just been rocking out with my music for a while, so I just gave in and was like “really really sorry man, I’ll get this done, my bad, really sorry.” Etc.
There was no way I was going to finish this guy’s lawn, cuz it’d take me like another 50 minutes minimum. I mowed like a few other bits cuz I was fairly sure he was watching, then crept towards the gap in the trees, then hit power-drive on full and mowed my way out. I was listening to Metallica ‘Creeping Death’ at this point, and I was really going for it. The song's about moses leading the slaves out of egypt to freedom, and I felt like I could really relate to his experience.
I finished up pretty quickly after that.
Cut a long story short, just got a call from the guy I’ve been doing the lawn for. He said his neighbour complained, and he doesn’t want me doing the lawn anymore. Not only that, but he’s not going to wire me this week’s money. I was totally p*ssed at this, cuz it’s like: sure, fair enough firing me for this, but at least pay me for the work I’ve done. Thing is there’s no contract or anything, so it’s not like I can take him to the cleaners over this.
Problem is, I’ve got a date with this girl next week, and I basically said I’d cook her up some food. But I without this money I don’t have the cash to cook up my proper vegetarian meal as well as paying my phone bill etc. I’ve basically run out of the main herbs and asparagus etc, so I need to buy a lot of stuff. I can't really afford it with everything else right now, and it would've been tight anyway. I really don't know what to do.
My options are to either:
a) cook a cheap vege meal, which won’t taste as good
b) get more money somehow
c) cook a meat meal, and hope she doesn’t notice.
What should I do? I’m pretty arsed about this whole situation, but I need to find a way out of it.