Oxford rejection -why is it still bothering me?

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Bslforever

Lol. I didn't even get proper feedback when i got rejected, so consider yourself lucky!

To be honest, i got rejected, got over it fairly quickly, got the oppertunity for a scholarship offer at Imperial and haven't looked back since :biggrin:

feel lucky you got any, Oxford completely ignored my teachers request for feedback, didn't even get a reply!

Reply 41

LizB

Being rejected hurts, being rejected when you feel like you were inches away from the place you thought was right for you hurts even more. I missed my offer for Oxford last year by 1 UMS so I know what you're going through. It kind of feels like being punched in the gut, for possibly the first time in your life you are told no you're simply not good enough. There's three options. 1) Take a year out and reapply. 2) Wallow in self pity and get bitter about it. 3) Make the most of what you've got going for you and plan for the future. Be that post-grad or career wise.

Use this knock back as an opportunity to say "You know what? I failed that time, but I can do better" Work to be better and to exceed expectations. They didn't think you were right that time but in three years you might blow them out of the water, and even if you don't learning to take the hard times life throws at you and comeing out stronger at the other end is as big a victory as you can get.

Reply 42

Bslforever

trollman

feel lucky you got any, Oxford completely ignored my teachers request for feedback, didn't even get a reply!

Wow, rudeness.

My feedback was essentially no feedback at all. It was to the tune of " [generic student] did not get a place because there were many talented people who applied and hard choices needed to be made. Unlucky son"

Reply 43

hopeful22

Bslforever

Ah mine actually had some content. They basically said they enjoyed meeting me, i was honest about my nerves and my lateral thinking was inconsistent. They also said about there being an uplift in applicants etc and that my admission test score was good and apparently they emphasised several times (this is according to me old head of sixth form) that i was 'well suited to this typoe of study going forward' which makes it worse because it's nice but they still didn't like me. I'm weird in that I like to know exactly what I've done wrong. I like detail i guess and that way I don't keeo going over EVERYTHING. but what can you do..

Reply 44

JulaMarie

Hi!
Just thought i'd tell you i feel exactly the same :smile:

I got 84 on my HAT test when the average was 47, which to be honest just made me feel worse for not getting in!
What college are you going to in Durham? I'm going to Josephine Butler, hoping to reapply postgrad for oxford. But then i still think about just reapplying next year, so don't worry you're not alone!

Reply 45

hobnob

Bslforever

My feedback was essentially no feedback at all. It was to the tune of " [generic student] did not get a place because there were many talented people who applied and hard choices needed to be made. Unlucky son"

It sounds unhelpful, but that's probably what it actually does boil down to in quite a lot of cases, though... I doubt that it's always a matter of candidates having done something wrong in order to be rejected.

Reply 46

LizB

Hehe Thanks, I'm not going to lie and say I'm completely over it I don't think you ever can be if it's a place you had your heart set on. (I still can't watch Lewis :o:

) It just gets better over time. I have the future to plan for anyway, I'll be starting to look around for postgrad towards the end of the year so I'll consider giving Oxbridge another try, if only to put to rest the what ifs. Other than that you just have to learn that there's more to life and that sometimes thing happen for a reason. I've made some brilliant friends at RoHo and been able to save for postgrad in a way I wouldn't have if I'd met my offer, plus had a bit of a wakeup call. There's positives to every set back if you look hard enough.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 47

ManiaMuse

Maybe like a few people have said it was the first big thing that you went for that you didn't manage to get? I mean up until UCAS applications most high achieving students are used to doing all the work and being rewarded with A*s at GCSEs and A's at AS/A2.

With Oxbridge though because there are so many good applicants and only a limited number of places it's inevitable that some of those are going to miss out even though it's likely that they would have fitted in/done well academically. It probably doesn't help that a lot of Oxbridge applicants have their hearts deadset on getting in and find it difficult to cope with the fact that at the end of the day it is a bit of a lottery and often decisions are made based on personality and how well the tutor thinks they would get on with the individual candidate.

I think it might be relevant comparing it to the driving test. A lot of 17/18 year olds take the test who may be perfectly competent drivers but the pass rate is only around 40-50%. A lot of the driving test often comes down to luck with things like nerves, traffic, route and what manoeuvres you get asked to do. Failing the driving test first time can be devastating, especially when you have friends who passed and when you've invested so much time and money in learning. Maybe you feel like with the Oxbridge application that all the effort you have made with getting good grades/making a decent application has not been rewarded?

Anyway the only ways to forget about it (apart from letting it get to you) are to either make the most of whatever uni you decide to go for this year or decide to reapply next year (but keep in mind you could get rejected again).

Reply 48

hopeful22

JulaMarie

Hi!
Just thought i'd tell you i feel exactly the same :smile:

I'm JBO (I blame the SUBO thing for me calling it that) too :smile:

and planning on applying for post grad. either there or apparently the cambridge course is quite similar. I also want to do a PHD so i'll look at the courses at a variety of places first. Saying that, I think my heart has always been at Oxford. Started getting excited about October! it's going to be sweet.

Reply 49

achard

hopeful22

I'm JBO (I blame the SUBO thing for me calling it that) too :smile:

Why?

Reply 50

unamed

Crazy Paving

Maybe you can't handle rejection and are seeing it as failure. Sometimes, you have to accept second best.

This might be it. I know I see my rejection as a failure (because it was, I didn't even get to the interview :sigh:

), and is probably why I still haven't managed to get excited about going to my '2nd best' choice yet [despite it being pretty good].

OP, smile, do well at Durham and then go back to Oxford to do a post-grad. :smile:

Reply 51

hopeful22

ManiaMuse

Thanks

this actually made me feel better. Thing is, I thought I was over the whole rejection thing so I have no idea why I keep dreaming about them changing their mind about me. I honestly don't think I could have dealt with the pressure of being there right now but I did love the place. The whole feel of it was beautiful and, for a while at least, I felt I belonged there.
Driving tests really are about luck. A friend of mine was awful and I mean AWFUL and passed first time..go figure.

Reply 52

hopeful22

achard

Why?

I loved the feel of old it has and the air of the old school boy feel about the buildings. I loved that I would be stretched and challenged to the point my mind would almost be folding back in on itself. The libarary was mouth-wateringly beautiful and most of the teaching was done withing the college, which I thought was rather nice. There was also the very appealing idea of small tutorial classes, which I believe would enable you to explore an idea mroe rigorously. I love the college system, because it allows you to be part of something both big and small; you're not just a number in a crowd. I also went to a taster lecture day there a few years ago and it blew my mind away and was what made clear to me that this was the subject I wanted to study. Other than that, the rooms are gorgeous and the water in the area makes your skin feel soft.