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What to say when being ignored?

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    Want to keep this simple as. My girlfriends not long turned 19 and we've been together since the start of the year. IMO everything is fine between us but she hasn't really put in that much effort now and then.

    - Went around to hers and seen her on Sunday night, everything seemed casual and fine. Had a good laugh and that.

    - On monday afternoon I sent her a facebook comment with a funny quote from a moive we were having a laugh about on Sunday night, she replied not too long after on my page with another quote.

    - Later on at night, I sent her a stupid one line statement text but she never replied.

    - Early this morning (Tuesday) I sent her a text 'Howz my favorite little kitten doing today?'.. But she still hasn't replied.

    I kinda know her schedule and see was free this morning and didn't start till one etc. She has done this before just recently, after seeing each other on a wed, she dingyed me from then and i phoned her on the sat.

    Anyways this isn't normal behaviour and it's rather obvious. After not getting a response, I'm not going to fill up her phone with messages if she doesn't want to reply, theres no real need for me to send any more messages untill i need too as we've got a night out on thrsuday. It's upto her to contact but if she doesn't....

    What should I say and How should I pull her up on this behaviour?

    This is total mind games and it's not on, it's simple really 1) She's playing games. - 2) She isn't interested. - Maybe it's the attention she wants and wants me to throw myself at her.. But I ain't.
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    errrr ok i think you should ask her. but not directly. play a little game too. be talking, bring it up but be like, "says the girl who never texts me first", or something. or "i dont like you anymore" in a jokey way, BUT MAKE IT OBVIOUS YOU ARE KIDDING and she'll be like "whyy?" and you say "because you don't care as much as me" OR "you never text first". LOL.

    but you are the boy, and it's better if the boy talks first - it's nicer. IMO. so it does depend on how you two are with each other, and how much you wear the pants in the relationship. good luck
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    Mind games in relationships piss me off big time!

    Just give her some space for a bit, don't ignore her completely just send her a general 'hi, hope you're well' texts once a day or every other day. If she doesn't reply to them, all blame is on her and she won't be able to turn it around to you by saying you were the one ignoring her.

    If after a few days she keeps ignoring, just ignore her completely...she'll come running eventually.
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    Give her some space.

    Trust me.
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    maybe give her a call??

    I'd say just leave it and see if she gets hold of you, but if you're anything like me you won't be able to do that

    so yeah, try calling, if she doesnt pick up or ring you back, then seriously consider leaving her for a bit
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by thatpingu_)
    maybe give her a call??

    so yeah, try calling, if she doesnt pick up or ring you back, then seriously consider leaving her for a bit
    Before if I called her after not speaking / dingying me for a few days, she'll normaly phone me right back if she didn't answer from being busy.

    It's her birthday on thursday and were all meant to be going for a night out but I don't really even know the arrangements, it's her decision on when and where etc.

    We've got plans for Friday night too which is arranged but I'm away sat and sun / sun and she's away on vacation with family for 2 weeks.

    She wasn't like this before and that's why I'm saying it's not normal behaviour, but whatever is wrong it's totally unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable and she doesn't take any of this seriously. And i want to make it clear to her that it is.

    I don't want to be bringing it up on her birthday as it's not really appropriate but I really do want to text her tomorrow if she hasn't contacted and say somthing like.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before if I called her after not speaking / dingying me for a few days, she'll normaly phone me right back if she didn't answer from being busy.

    It's her birthday on thursday and were all meant to be going for a night out but I don't really even know the arrangements, it's her decision on when and where etc.

    We've got plans for Friday night too which is arranged but I'm away sat and sun / sun and she's away on vacation with family for 2 weeks.

    She wasn't like this before and that's why I'm saying it's not normal behaviour, but whatever is wrong it's totally unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable and she doesn't take any of this seriously. And i want to make it clear to her that it is.

    I don't want to be bringing it up on her birthday as it's not really appropriate but I really do want to text her tomorrow if she hasn't contacted and say somthing like.
    if you think there could be something seriously seriously wrong with her, then maybe pop round her house or something and make sure shes okay

    if she's just blanking you and you think this is just her being a bit of a prick, then leave it. she'll probs text you eventually anyway

    and if you dont hear the arrangements for her birthday, then you cant go, simple. and maybe that would suggest she wants to end this?

    there really isnt a hell of a lot you can do if she's refusing to speak to you though...
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    She's either being a bitch or upto a another game.

    I'm trying not to think of it as a game plan from her to get me to dump her as maybe that's what she wants, as maybe she doesn't want to dump me for sombody else as she'll take the responsibility and look like a fool, when all her family / friends adore me. That would just be immature.. then again she is immature and young and it's a possibility.

    Anyways, I guess I could leave it to thrusday and wait. After texting her this morning asking how she was and not getting a reply, does that class me as a making the effort and not liable? - I've done my bit right?

    Mostly think I should just wait in that case then, as much as i'd like to pull her up for it I guess I've done my bit.

    If anything she'll text me a lame 'hi how are you what you upto' to break the ice and think everything is all hunky dorey.
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    She's being completely unfair on you, and pulling on your heart strings! Let her do some of the 'chasing' now. I know it's hard and frustrating just to sit there thinking arghh she hasn't text me and she's being cold but you'll just have to sit tight and hope she does the honourable thing. However, I really suck at things like that in relationships and always have to get things off my chest just so that the frustration/mild anger doesn't build up inside. My best advice would be not to do anything hasty, simply keep a cool head and distract yourself with something else. Infact, the Greece v Argentina would be a good distraction if you happen to like football?! All the best!
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    Whatever you want to be honest she's ignoring you
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Olivia Rose)
    She's being completely unfair on you, and pulling on your heart strings! Let her do some of the 'chasing' now. I know it's hard and frustrating just to sit there thinking arghh she hasn't text me and she's being cold but you'll just have to sit tight and hope she does the honourable thing. However, I really suck at things like that in relationships and always have to get things off my chest just so that the frustration/mild anger doesn't build up inside. My best advice would be not to do anything hasty, simply keep a cool head and distract yourself with something else. Infact, the Greece v Argentina would be a good distraction if you happen to like football?! All the best!
    Thanks pal for your words.

    It's completely ignorant, unfair and unacceptable.

    She done this just before last weekend too from the wed to the sat when i phoned her after not getting reply after days.

    I need to be honest with myself and i actually think it's just a withdrawal of love or she's got somebody else in mind and that's why I'm getting the silent treatment. But maybe I'm just being paranoid about it.

    The thing that's really really bugging me is that she's going on holiday for 2 weeks and if I don't get the chance to say something in private, I'm gonna have it running around my head for 2 weeks. O_0
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks pal for your words.

    It's completely ignorant, unfair and unacceptable.

    She done this just before last weekend too from the wed to the sat when i phoned her after not getting reply after days.

    I need to be honest with myself and i actually think it's just a withdrawal of love or she's got somebody else in mind and that's why I'm getting the silent treatment. But maybe I'm just being paranoid about it.

    The thing that's really really bugging me is that she's going on holiday for 2 weeks and if I don't get the chance to say something in private, I'm gonna have it running around my head for 2 weeks. O_0
    To be honest, yes, you sound totally paranoid, and you're reacting rather over the top about it, even coming to such accusations as 'she's got someone else on her mind'.

    Maybe she just doesn't want to text or ring you as much as you want to to her? Its not like she's complained so far, is it? Its your problem and she's not a mind reader, just bloody tell her that you don't like it.
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    Maybe she is just busy, pop in to hers.. drug raid style.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    Maybe she just doesn't want to text or ring you as much as you want to to her? Its not like she's complained so far, is it? Its your problem and she's not a mind reader, just bloody tell her that you don't like it.
    Well yes actually.

    A while ago I got fed up of doing all the running and work and took myself a back seat position, where I responded but didn't make much contact as usaul trying to get her to do a little chasing. Where she texted me like every 2 days because of it, and by the start of the next week she asked if she had done something wrong because we'd barely spoke and we spoke about it all and she knows that I don't want to be the one using the initiative and making all the effort, that it takes two to tango and going days without contact.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Want to keep this simple as. My girlfriends not long turned 19 and we've been together since the start of the year. IMO everything is fine between us but she hasn't really put in that much effort now and then.

    - Went around to hers and seen her on Sunday night, everything seemed casual and fine. Had a good laugh and that.

    - On monday afternoon I sent her a facebook comment with a funny quote from a moive we were having a laugh about on Sunday night, she replied not too long after on my page with another quote.

    - Later on at night, I sent her a stupid one line statement text but she never replied.

    - Early this morning (Tuesday) I sent her a text 'Howz my favorite little kitten doing today?'.. But she still hasn't replied.

    I kinda know her schedule and see was free this morning and didn't start till one etc. She has done this before just recently, after seeing each other on a wed, she dingyed me from then and i phoned her on the sat.

    Anyways this isn't normal behaviour and it's rather obvious. After not getting a response, I'm not going to fill up her phone with messages if she doesn't want to reply, theres no real need for me to send any more messages untill i need too as we've got a night out on thrsuday. It's upto her to contact but if she doesn't....

    What should I say and How should I pull her up on this behaviour?

    This is total mind games and it's not on, it's simple really 1) She's playing games. - 2) She isn't interested. - Maybe it's the attention she wants and wants me to throw myself at her.. But I ain't.
    You might wanna wait till thursday to assess the situation.
    If she acts like a bitch tell her about herself.
    But if she acts normal there is probably no problem and you're being over paranoid.
    No point in potentially ruining a birthday for no reason, right?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by TooLaidBack)
    You might wanna wait till thursday to assess the situation.
    If she acts like a bitch tell her about herself. \nut if she acts normal there is probably no problem and you're being over paranoid. No point in potentially ruining a birthday for no reason, right?
    Nah, I don't plan to say anything on her birthday and have her go in a mood no doubt and waste her night.

    However, being a bitch or acting normal it doesn't matter, what shes doing right now is totally unacceptable.

    I suppose i'll just wait till 2mrw now.

    Not even sure if I should phone her to wish happy birthday and find out the arrangments or not .. or just wait again and see if she tells me.
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    You sound needy relax brah.

    Don't contact her for a bit and reassess the situation in a few days time.
    • Thread Starter
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    Really tempted to text her tonight with 'Straight up, whats the deal with the silent treatment!?' ... But I'm not gonna bother and I'll phone to wish her happy birthday tomorrow anyway.

    :confused:
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    It's all escalated out of control.

    - I waited to thursday late afternoon, still no contact from me or her. I deiced to text her Happy Birthday and ask if she was in. No reply. I wait a bit and phone, no answer, couple minutes I phone again, no answer.

    - I was heading over her way to see a friend who stays nearby anyway, so i decided to take her present and drop it in. She answers the door, quite surprised, asked her if she got my calls and she excuses that she did but she was busy but that's no excuse as she still never got back.

    - Asked if she was still going out for her birthday and that I wasn't sure as I've not heard any arrangements from her. She told me that they were going for a quick pre-drink at a friends flat and then into town and too my face said she would text me when she got into town which should be about half 7 / 8, which was fine as I'd catch up with her in town.

    - I went home to get dinner and get ready. I watch the football and wait and wait. No text. It reaches half 8 and I'm frustrated. By 9 I've still no text and I decide to go out myself with a friend elsewhere. But no text all night.

    - I was meant to be seeing her Friday night for an arrangement occasion before I went away for the weekend and she went on holiday for 2 weeks. Rather than waiting, I was a bit let down on friday morning and decided to text her and tell her that last night was heartless and that I expected and thought better of her. And that if theres anything I hate it's being fcked about.

    - She replied in a cheeky rude manner asking what pish i was talking about. Told her to quit the ******** and tell me straight up what the deal is. Not even an apology and tries to blame it on me, as if i'm the one brining the ******** up all the time.

    She said its best we wait till shes back from holiday to deal with this. I wanted to see her on that day to talk things through in a nicer mature manner rather than waiting two weeks but she told me she didn't want to talk to me right now blah blah. I trys to phone a few times and she won't answer.

    End up she gets her way and I tell her theres no real graceful way to do this and we'd catch up when she's back. On Sat when I was away I noticed she changed her face book as I imagine she took the last text as a dump, when in the end I meant fine we'll just need to wait. I didn't want to have that misinterpretation and had to text her and tell her that my text wasn't closure at my end and we'll talk when she's back.

    It's not the fact that I never got to go out with her, it's the fact of courtesy and respect that she didn't even have the decency to text me and say 'look, we aren't going into town and just drinking in the flat but I'll catch up with you tomorrow' as in the end they didn't go out but I didin't know that at the time.

    And also that I felt like a big douche myself now, even though i don't expect her to admit she was in the wrong, I had no need to esclate things out of control and could easily of just waited to I seen her that night. I'm an honest person and I kinda just say these things If thats what I think.

    So now she's away for 2 weeks and I need to wait to talk, with this big large cloud over my head.
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    Blown out of proportion. You're demanding so much from her to the point where you she can't be arsed. In a similar fashion, if you get hammered with tonnes of work in a short space of time you can't be arsed.

    It wasn't fair of her not to text you on her birthday but let's be honest, if somebody was pissing you off by constantly hounding you would you want them there on your birthday? "Nah, mate" is the correct answer.

    Like you said, it's up to her to contact you and she didn't. If she wanted to, she would have. There's no need for any further explanation, reasoning or crystal ball forecasts.

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