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Thinking about overdosing...
Okay- I may only be 17 so some would say that I am too young and have my whole life ahead of me, but right now it honestly doesn't seem to be worth it. I've already half heartedly attempted to overdose twice but I've always made sure that the amount I take is relatively small so that deep down I know I probably won't actually kill myself- I just go through the process.
My whole life I have aimed towards becoming a vet and recently, I've realised that this probably won't happen because I'm not accademically strong enough- I'm close and its literally probably only by one grade, in one subject (maths) which no matter what I do- I'm never going to be able to improve. It actually hurts to only be slightly away from my dream- yet know that no matter how hard I try, I'll more than likely never get there.
I'm sick of the school I'm in- I just feel like its constantly dragging me down and because I've told them about my suicide attempts, I feel like they're constantly watching me, and every time I have a slightly off day- they ring my parents who then insist on talking about everything, when sometimes all I need to do is just go home and get a good nights sleep. I've spoken about leaving with a few teachers who I trust and have confided a lot in- they all seem to think that I'm running away- especially from the maths department, because the department feel that I haven't tried hard enough this year, because I'm the type of person who will quite happily sit there in class and go unnoticed. I also have issues with trust and feeling vulnerable so I often won't ask for help, even when i desperately need it. I end up panicking in my exams- to the point of hyperventilating and bursting into fits of uncontrolable tears. My maths teachers really don't understand this and think I should just work harder- but I'm working as hard as I possibly could, I just have issues with stress and anxiety. To be fair my maths teachers don't know about anything- the suicide attempts, the beta blockers, the anti depressants etc because I dont feel enough trust/warmth from them to feel "safe" enough to confide this information in them. Most teachers think that I should just talk it through with the maths teachers and explain exactly where I'm coming from- rather than uproot and move myself to a new school in what is probably going to be the hardest and most important year of my life so far.
I know I'm heading towards failure- I have to submit my UCAS by october 15th and right now I don't think I could handle the rejection that is more than likely going to come my way. I could in theory just wait a year, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I can't see a point to my life anymore. If I don't end up being a vet, what else will I do? I may as well just give up now and call it a day. I'm sat here with multiple bottles of alcohol and boxes of pills. My parents are away for the weekend so nobody would be able to find me in time to do anything. Can someone give me a reason not to?
My whole life I have aimed towards becoming a vet and recently, I've realised that this probably won't happen because I'm not accademically strong enough- I'm close and its literally probably only by one grade, in one subject (maths) which no matter what I do- I'm never going to be able to improve. It actually hurts to only be slightly away from my dream- yet know that no matter how hard I try, I'll more than likely never get there.
I'm sick of the school I'm in- I just feel like its constantly dragging me down and because I've told them about my suicide attempts, I feel like they're constantly watching me, and every time I have a slightly off day- they ring my parents who then insist on talking about everything, when sometimes all I need to do is just go home and get a good nights sleep. I've spoken about leaving with a few teachers who I trust and have confided a lot in- they all seem to think that I'm running away- especially from the maths department, because the department feel that I haven't tried hard enough this year, because I'm the type of person who will quite happily sit there in class and go unnoticed. I also have issues with trust and feeling vulnerable so I often won't ask for help, even when i desperately need it. I end up panicking in my exams- to the point of hyperventilating and bursting into fits of uncontrolable tears. My maths teachers really don't understand this and think I should just work harder- but I'm working as hard as I possibly could, I just have issues with stress and anxiety. To be fair my maths teachers don't know about anything- the suicide attempts, the beta blockers, the anti depressants etc because I dont feel enough trust/warmth from them to feel "safe" enough to confide this information in them. Most teachers think that I should just talk it through with the maths teachers and explain exactly where I'm coming from- rather than uproot and move myself to a new school in what is probably going to be the hardest and most important year of my life so far.
I know I'm heading towards failure- I have to submit my UCAS by october 15th and right now I don't think I could handle the rejection that is more than likely going to come my way. I could in theory just wait a year, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I can't see a point to my life anymore. If I don't end up being a vet, what else will I do? I may as well just give up now and call it a day. I'm sat here with multiple bottles of alcohol and boxes of pills. My parents are away for the weekend so nobody would be able to find me in time to do anything. Can someone give me a reason not to?
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Life is a precious thing .
I know that more than most people.
I was in tour position little less than 2 years ago, i couldnt bare being around anymore, i felt lonely i was doing crap at school, my friends turned against me because of my eating disorder. i was dislexic so i f**ed up everything.
But 2 years down the road ive just finished college with some of the best results seen on my course, ive got a loving boyfriend who loves me despite my flaws and such and im getting on in life.
Things to get better, and by overdosing your taking away the chance of showing people how good you are and proving everyone aswell as your self that you are worth it.
I was always crap at maths and english for that matter, but there are ways round it, extra tuition and such to help you get you where you want to be.
I got 3 rejections and i thought at first that was the end but ive been accepted into 2 amazing uni's.
Have faith in yourself, you seem like a genuine great person. You just need a little care and attention. Make sure you are happy with you first before you make others happy with you.
Ive been through 6 years of depression, just push yourself and you'll get there.
if you need to tlk more email me.
hope this helps.
I know that more than most people.
I was in tour position little less than 2 years ago, i couldnt bare being around anymore, i felt lonely i was doing crap at school, my friends turned against me because of my eating disorder. i was dislexic so i f**ed up everything.
But 2 years down the road ive just finished college with some of the best results seen on my course, ive got a loving boyfriend who loves me despite my flaws and such and im getting on in life.
Things to get better, and by overdosing your taking away the chance of showing people how good you are and proving everyone aswell as your self that you are worth it.
I was always crap at maths and english for that matter, but there are ways round it, extra tuition and such to help you get you where you want to be.
I got 3 rejections and i thought at first that was the end but ive been accepted into 2 amazing uni's.
Have faith in yourself, you seem like a genuine great person. You just need a little care and attention. Make sure you are happy with you first before you make others happy with you.
Ive been through 6 years of depression, just push yourself and you'll get there.
if you need to tlk more email me.
hope this helps.
Im disgraced by these replies.
If you cant be helpfull or even remotely nice then keep your gobs shut.
Unless you've been through this yourself, you have no friggin idea.
As for it being the cowards way out, who are you kidding.
Sort your attitude out and realise theres alot going on for some people.
If you cant be helpfull or even remotely nice then keep your gobs shut.
Unless you've been through this yourself, you have no friggin idea.
As for it being the cowards way out, who are you kidding.
Sort your attitude out and realise theres alot going on for some people.
You can still be a vet. I wouldn't say that if your grades were miles off what you needed, but clearly you're close, it's just the Maths that you're struggling with. Try to seek extra help - do you have any friends who are good at it? Can you afford a tutor? Do as much as you can to do well this year. Then talk with your Maths teachers. It's been a while since I did UCAS but as far as I know offers are made on the basis of predicted grades, so even if you don't get your A (or whatever it is you need) this summer, they can still predict you what you want to have a better chance of getting an offer. If they see you as actively trying to improve then they are much more likely to predict optimistically. You don't have to confide in them, just emphasise that you've had a very difficult year but you are now hoping to focus on the Maths and improve it. You can always resit modules if you totally screw them up, but it will really help you to have your teachers on side. Of course, even if you tick all of the boxes then getting an offer for Vet Med is extremely difficult, and you are by no means a failure if you don't manage it, but I think that in the future it would be better if you felt as though you'd given it your best shot. There are other options for you. You can do what my friend has done and do a BSc and then an accelerated course as a post grad, or you can do something completely different. You are an individual with lots of different sides to you and I feel confident that there is more to live for than that one thing. It shouldn't be something that's making you feel the value of your life hangs in the balance.
I know how difficult it is when you feel like you're in a black hole, but try to take a step back. What else makes you happy other than the thought of being a vet? I always used to think that just dropping out and being a travelling hippie might be a better option - and it's certainly a far better option than taking your own life. Pretty much any option is better than that! The education conveyor belt can be extremely oppressive, and weirdly it can be especially damaging when you're a high achiever because it totally warps your perspective. This means that you put extra pressure on yourself, which is good to the point that it helps you to achieve your full potential; but if you take it too far you'll just explode, like you are on the brink of doing.
I hope that you get some support from the people around you and get through this. Whatever happens, you will find happiness in the future which makes living worthwhile.
I know how difficult it is when you feel like you're in a black hole, but try to take a step back. What else makes you happy other than the thought of being a vet? I always used to think that just dropping out and being a travelling hippie might be a better option - and it's certainly a far better option than taking your own life. Pretty much any option is better than that! The education conveyor belt can be extremely oppressive, and weirdly it can be especially damaging when you're a high achiever because it totally warps your perspective. This means that you put extra pressure on yourself, which is good to the point that it helps you to achieve your full potential; but if you take it too far you'll just explode, like you are on the brink of doing.
I hope that you get some support from the people around you and get through this. Whatever happens, you will find happiness in the future which makes living worthwhile.
You'r not going to become a vet with that defeatist attitude. You can always improve on something - even maths. If you're that passionate about becoming a vet, you'll do anything, including working every waking moment to ensure your success. Even if you somehow then don't make it, spend your life doing something you can do. No point wasting everybodys time. Go out there and plan what you can, and will do and then do it. For now though - go to sleep and think things through.
EDIT: and listen to some good music to get you in the mood. Not the mainstream crap, but music that will get you in the mood to do everything you can.
EDIT: and listen to some good music to get you in the mood. Not the mainstream crap, but music that will get you in the mood to do everything you can.
Hey OP, I can understand your situation and what you are going through. It must be pretty hard having such academic pressure being put on you and with university places being so competitive its quite hard. Well, firstly it sounds to me that you don't really want to commit suicide. You've tried before and haven't gone through with it, which suggests that you do have some sort of hope from which to grasp and build on. Suicide is a huge decision, something that can't be undone and has a detrimental affect on your family and friends, who would, I'm sure, be devastated.
Also, as harsh as this sounds, there is more to life than pure academics. Committing suicide means putting an end on all of the great experiences that you could have in the future. A career forms only a proportion of what constitutes a persons life and their identity, and it seems rash to think that as this fails all else will.
There might be other things that you havent considered...do you have a therapist or councillor or a specialist to talk to about these things. How about friends, or people at school who are also finding things a little difficult? Perhaps speaking to some of your peers may put a fresher outlook on things and help you to realise that you arent the only person struggling.
If Maths is causing you so much trouble, how about a tutor, or TSR help? There are fantastic people online here willing to help. There are so many other options OP...suicide should seriously be your last, if even considered at all.
If you want to talk or let out some kind of steam, feel free to PM me x
Also, as harsh as this sounds, there is more to life than pure academics. Committing suicide means putting an end on all of the great experiences that you could have in the future. A career forms only a proportion of what constitutes a persons life and their identity, and it seems rash to think that as this fails all else will.
There might be other things that you havent considered...do you have a therapist or councillor or a specialist to talk to about these things. How about friends, or people at school who are also finding things a little difficult? Perhaps speaking to some of your peers may put a fresher outlook on things and help you to realise that you arent the only person struggling.
If Maths is causing you so much trouble, how about a tutor, or TSR help? There are fantastic people online here willing to help. There are so many other options OP...suicide should seriously be your last, if even considered at all.
If you want to talk or let out some kind of steam, feel free to PM me x
yeah, i can give you a reason not to, imagine the pain and grief you'd bring your family by doing this, would you really want to bring that much hurt to their life? and there is much more to life than a career, you just need to see it. saying that, you will probably get offers anyway, and if you dont this time, try again if its what you REALLY wanna do. think yourself lucky, some people dont start to train for their careers until very later in their life, but your young and have your whole life ahead of you. keep your chin up 
Ignore the people here with no empathy.
I've been through your situation and I can totally relate to feeling like there is no point continuing. It is not the way to solve things though. You really need to talk to someoneinstead of sitting at home feeling like this. You could try ringing the samaritans.
I've been through your situation and I can totally relate to feeling like there is no point continuing. It is not the way to solve things though. You really need to talk to someoneinstead of sitting at home feeling like this. You could try ringing the samaritans.
sometimes things can seem impossible. and i understand that your dream to be a vet now seems forever away. its sucks. my dream was to become a doctor and i didnt get the results. now im going to do a different degree and go into graduate medicine. its not too late at all. if your in first year you can resit and get extra tuition. you can become a vet.
please dont overdose - easy for me to say. but ive been through that and its not a nice thing and most probably wouldnt work.
you can become a vet. it might take a little longer but you can xxx
please dont overdose - easy for me to say. but ive been through that and its not a nice thing and most probably wouldnt work.
you can become a vet. it might take a little longer but you can
xxx
I felt like crap before the day of my exam because I knew there was no way I could pull off the required grades for LSE because I started studying two weeks before the exams. I got over it and I'll retake it in November and hopefully get the grades (cie a levels take place in nov). I'm just saying I know how you feel and what you're trying to do is definitely not worth it. There's so much more to life than a job, even though I didn't realise it at the point when I was going through this.
But why would taking a gap year not help? Use all resources available and work hard throughout and you'll be fine. Don't give up.
But why would taking a gap year not help? Use all resources available and work hard throughout and you'll be fine. Don't give up.
No. Don't do it. It's never worth it, no matter what circumstances. You can't know that you're heading towards failure - and you're most likely not. A lot of people get a rejection through UCAS, and it doesn't destroy their lives - it's not as important as it seems. You're applying for a very competitive course, but that doesn't mean you won't get a place. Plenty of people do - why shouldn't you be one of them? Maths isn't exactly crucial for that course, after all. Throw yourself into UCAS and give the whole process, including your PS, your best shot - you've got as much chance as anyone else! October 15th is a long way away; there's no need to be stressing over that deadline.
You say you're sick of the school, but the teachers are discouraging you from leaving - well, it's not up to them, it's up to you. If you hate it that much, they can't stop you going somewhere else where you'll be with new people, in a new situation. Or in a year and a bit, you'll be at university, studying vet sci. That's worth living for, isn't it? Have faith in yourself - I know it's easier said than done, but you're no less likely than anyone else to get a place on a course.
It's always worth living; there'll always be something coming your way to make you smile.
You say you're sick of the school, but the teachers are discouraging you from leaving - well, it's not up to them, it's up to you. If you hate it that much, they can't stop you going somewhere else where you'll be with new people, in a new situation. Or in a year and a bit, you'll be at university, studying vet sci. That's worth living for, isn't it? Have faith in yourself - I know it's easier said than done, but you're no less likely than anyone else to get a place on a course.
It's always worth living; there'll always be something coming your way to make you smile.
Right now it might not seem worth it but it won't always feel like that. You can get fixated on one thing and think that nothing else matters but that really isn't healthy. If you did become a vet, there would be challenges in that job, like every other job and you'd have to be strong enough to overcome them. You have to actually want to be stronger and to face the problem.
I went through a very difficult period during my teaching degree - I had panic attacks and was very depressed. I literally could not complete assignments and I had extensions for everything. Things spiralled out of control. Looking back, I made it everything and that was the big mistake. When it means too much, you're likely to lose it and the loss is devastating. In reality, no-one can give you the right answer. I had lots of advice and one or two nice but ineffective counsellors but I had to learn for myself in the end.
You're very articulate, you're well educated and intelligent. You might even find that being a vet is not the career path that you're destined for but without the coping skills that EVERYONE needs to get through challenges in their life, every obstacle will knock you down.
Think about it - you're posting this on the Internet and asking a stranger to give you a reason to live. You have to be your own reason. I hated being a teenager - I think it's even harder today. I'm a teacher now, I got a 2:1 in that degree in the end (after lots of panic attacks and tears and a big break-up). But I did change from primary teaching to secondary teaching and that's the best decision I ever made.
One thing I want to add - I don't want to generalise, but Maths teachers are not traditionally warm and pastorally minded. I wouldn't take it personally! Talk to a form teacher - someone who genuinely has an interest and listens, rather than looking at their watch, but realise that a lot of the work has to come from you. Maybe not tonight - maybe just sleep because it helps your brain to filter everything. Things always look better in the morning.
Good luck
I went through a very difficult period during my teaching degree - I had panic attacks and was very depressed. I literally could not complete assignments and I had extensions for everything. Things spiralled out of control. Looking back, I made it everything and that was the big mistake. When it means too much, you're likely to lose it and the loss is devastating. In reality, no-one can give you the right answer. I had lots of advice and one or two nice but ineffective counsellors but I had to learn for myself in the end.
You're very articulate, you're well educated and intelligent. You might even find that being a vet is not the career path that you're destined for but without the coping skills that EVERYONE needs to get through challenges in their life, every obstacle will knock you down.
Think about it - you're posting this on the Internet and asking a stranger to give you a reason to live. You have to be your own reason. I hated being a teenager - I think it's even harder today. I'm a teacher now, I got a 2:1 in that degree in the end (after lots of panic attacks and tears and a big break-up). But I did change from primary teaching to secondary teaching and that's the best decision I ever made.
One thing I want to add - I don't want to generalise, but Maths teachers are not traditionally warm and pastorally minded. I wouldn't take it personally! Talk to a form teacher - someone who genuinely has an interest and listens, rather than looking at their watch, but realise that a lot of the work has to come from you. Maybe not tonight - maybe just sleep because it helps your brain to filter everything. Things always look better in the morning.
Good luck
if you don't make it into vet medicine you could always become a vet nurse, my dad works in the RVC 
Anonymous
Okay- I may only be 17 so some would say that I am too young and have my whole life ahead of me, but right now it honestly doesn't seem to be worth it. I've already half heartedly attempted to overdose twice but I've always made sure that the amount I take is relatively small so that deep down I know I probably won't actually kill myself- I just go through the process.
My whole life I have aimed towards becoming a vet and recently, I've realised that this probably won't happen because I'm not accademically strong enough- I'm close and its literally probably only by one grade, in one subject (maths) which no matter what I do- I'm never going to be able to improve. It actually hurts to only be slightly away from my dream- yet know that no matter how hard I try, I'll more than likely never get there.
I'm sick of the school I'm in- I just feel like its constantly dragging me down and because I've told them about my suicide attempts, I feel like they're constantly watching me, and every time I have a slightly off day- they ring my parents who then insist on talking about everything, when sometimes all I need to do is just go home and get a good nights sleep. I've spoken about leaving with a few teachers who I trust and have confided a lot in- they all seem to think that I'm running away- especially from the maths department, because the department feel that I haven't tried hard enough this year, because I'm the type of person who will quite happily sit there in class and go unnoticed. I also have issues with trust and feeling vulnerable so I often won't ask for help, even when i desperately need it. I end up panicking in my exams- to the point of hyperventilating and bursting into fits of uncontrolable tears. My maths teachers really don't understand this and think I should just work harder- but I'm working as hard as I possibly could, I just have issues with stress and anxiety. To be fair my maths teachers don't know about anything- the suicide attempts, the beta blockers, the anti depressants etc because I dont feel enough trust/warmth from them to feel "safe" enough to confide this information in them. Most teachers think that I should just talk it through with the maths teachers and explain exactly where I'm coming from- rather than uproot and move myself to a new school in what is probably going to be the hardest and most important year of my life so far.
I know I'm heading towards failure- I have to submit my UCAS by october 15th and right now I don't think I could handle the rejection that is more than likely going to come my way. I could in theory just wait a year, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I can't see a point to my life anymore. If I don't end up being a vet, what else will I do? I may as well just give up now and call it a day. I'm sat here with multiple bottles of alcohol and boxes of pills. My parents are away for the weekend so nobody would be able to find me in time to do anything. Can someone give me a reason not to?
My whole life I have aimed towards becoming a vet and recently, I've realised that this probably won't happen because I'm not accademically strong enough- I'm close and its literally probably only by one grade, in one subject (maths) which no matter what I do- I'm never going to be able to improve. It actually hurts to only be slightly away from my dream- yet know that no matter how hard I try, I'll more than likely never get there.
I'm sick of the school I'm in- I just feel like its constantly dragging me down and because I've told them about my suicide attempts, I feel like they're constantly watching me, and every time I have a slightly off day- they ring my parents who then insist on talking about everything, when sometimes all I need to do is just go home and get a good nights sleep. I've spoken about leaving with a few teachers who I trust and have confided a lot in- they all seem to think that I'm running away- especially from the maths department, because the department feel that I haven't tried hard enough this year, because I'm the type of person who will quite happily sit there in class and go unnoticed. I also have issues with trust and feeling vulnerable so I often won't ask for help, even when i desperately need it. I end up panicking in my exams- to the point of hyperventilating and bursting into fits of uncontrolable tears. My maths teachers really don't understand this and think I should just work harder- but I'm working as hard as I possibly could, I just have issues with stress and anxiety. To be fair my maths teachers don't know about anything- the suicide attempts, the beta blockers, the anti depressants etc because I dont feel enough trust/warmth from them to feel "safe" enough to confide this information in them. Most teachers think that I should just talk it through with the maths teachers and explain exactly where I'm coming from- rather than uproot and move myself to a new school in what is probably going to be the hardest and most important year of my life so far.
I know I'm heading towards failure- I have to submit my UCAS by october 15th and right now I don't think I could handle the rejection that is more than likely going to come my way. I could in theory just wait a year, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I can't see a point to my life anymore. If I don't end up being a vet, what else will I do? I may as well just give up now and call it a day. I'm sat here with multiple bottles of alcohol and boxes of pills. My parents are away for the weekend so nobody would be able to find me in time to do anything. Can someone give me a reason not to?
i can understand to some extent what it is like to feel the way that you do. i just got 4 rejections for medicine. i just did my A2 and many of my exams didn't go too well. i feel like my life is falling apart. i have felt like i just want to quit. give up. but i reliase i want to do medicine more than i want anything else in my life. it is a passion and dream of mine since i was ten years old. if i give up i will have nothing. at least if i try and try again i will know that i have done the best that i can to try to get into med school. you have yet to go through the UCAS process. apply and see what happens. you may be surprised. you will not know unless you try. look at the positives in your life. look at what you have. look at what is going right in your life and that will give you the strength to be strong and not give up.
you have not gone through with your attempts. because naturally you are scared of what is beyond like any person would be.
"its good to be scared of death. it shows that you have something to lose"
i heard this the other day. in your situation it shows that you will lose the chance of becoming a vet. it shows that you have something to live for. getting into vet school. something to work towards and that is the reason not to give up.
good luck x
Anonymous
Okay- I may only be 17 so some would say that I am too young and have my whole life ahead of me, but right now it honestly doesn't seem to be worth it. I've already half heartedly attempted to overdose twice but I've always made sure that the amount I take is relatively small so that deep down I know I probably won't actually kill myself- I just go through the process.
honestly dont do it, iv thought about doing it in the past, and thankfully been talked out of it, go back to the teacher thats helped you in the past, i have major trust issues, and the past 4 years, only 1 teacher has truly understood me and helped me, and i can honestly thank him for everything.
also from someone where their best mate has foned them up crying down the fone telling me shed just taken an overdose to kill herself is the worst thing you can hear. luckily she hadnt taken enough, but i was in tears and about to walk the 5 miles in the dark to her house to give her a hug. your friends and family will be devastated if they found out, you actually cant [ut them through it.
please, dont do it, talk to someone.
pm me if you need to chat to get it out of your system, thats been there, and been a friend of someone thats tried...
xxx
When my cousin was 16, she was bullied really badly by "friends" that turned nasty on her. They made her life hell for months on end until she couldn't take it anymore.
She was home alone, and raided the kitchen cupboards for any type of pills she could find, from paracetamol to ibuprofen and even to her sisters asthma tablets. She took an overdose. Her dad got home just in time to find her on the sofa, unconcious, and had an ambulance rush her to hospital to get her stomach pumped. She survived, but she said to me that she was definitely on the brink of death.
4 years later, she's now finishing a course at the local collage to become a nurse, and has just been accepted by Queen's University Belfast starting this February. She doesn't talk about what happened very much, but she's made it very known that she's now the happiest she's ever been in her life and she's so glad her Dad got her to hospital in time for her to survive, because she said even though at the time it seemed impossible, she has a rich and full life ahead of her, and she realises that now.
Back to your post, OP, don't do it. I have been clinically depressed for the past 2 years, also suffering from spurs of Depersonalization Disorder due to high anxiety levels due to the same thing that happened with my cousin, bullying from a former best friend who turned on me, but I've been able to get on with it and cope, and now I'm starting to get better. I still have my bad days...but everyone does at some point.
In relation to your subjects and results etc, don't worry too much, a lot of universities do an Undergraduate Science Foundation degree which accepts people who've underachieved but want to do a science degree afterwards. The foundation degree will reteach you the basics and, providing you pass at the end of the year, you'll automatically be put into your chosen course, in your case Veterinary Science. My science teacher got 3 E's in his A-levels (Maths, Chemistry & Biology) and was able to do that foundation course and then went on to do a degree in Marine Biology. That's one of your options if worse comes to worse, but you could just get on with your life this year and really work your ass off and get the grades you need. Do it for yourself, not anyone else. And when you get your great grades next August, you can stick two fingers up to all the people who doubted you, and I guarantee, you will feel on top of the world.
Please don't do anything silly, this time next year you will be thinking God, I'm so glad I didn't go through with it, I got my university placement and I'm ready to start my life fresh in September.
She was home alone, and raided the kitchen cupboards for any type of pills she could find, from paracetamol to ibuprofen and even to her sisters asthma tablets. She took an overdose. Her dad got home just in time to find her on the sofa, unconcious, and had an ambulance rush her to hospital to get her stomach pumped. She survived, but she said to me that she was definitely on the brink of death.
4 years later, she's now finishing a course at the local collage to become a nurse, and has just been accepted by Queen's University Belfast starting this February. She doesn't talk about what happened very much, but she's made it very known that she's now the happiest she's ever been in her life and she's so glad her Dad got her to hospital in time for her to survive, because she said even though at the time it seemed impossible, she has a rich and full life ahead of her, and she realises that now.
Back to your post, OP, don't do it. I have been clinically depressed for the past 2 years, also suffering from spurs of Depersonalization Disorder due to high anxiety levels due to the same thing that happened with my cousin, bullying from a former best friend who turned on me, but I've been able to get on with it and cope, and now I'm starting to get better. I still have my bad days...but everyone does at some point.
In relation to your subjects and results etc, don't worry too much, a lot of universities do an Undergraduate Science Foundation degree which accepts people who've underachieved but want to do a science degree afterwards. The foundation degree will reteach you the basics and, providing you pass at the end of the year, you'll automatically be put into your chosen course, in your case Veterinary Science. My science teacher got 3 E's in his A-levels (Maths, Chemistry & Biology) and was able to do that foundation course and then went on to do a degree in Marine Biology. That's one of your options if worse comes to worse, but you could just get on with your life this year and really work your ass off and get the grades you need. Do it for yourself, not anyone else. And when you get your great grades next August, you can stick two fingers up to all the people who doubted you, and I guarantee, you will feel on top of the world.
Please don't do anything silly, this time next year you will be thinking God, I'm so glad I didn't go through with it, I got my university placement and I'm ready to start my life fresh in September.
Anonymous
Okay- I may only be 17 so some would say that I am too young and have my whole life ahead of me, but right now it honestly doesn't seem to be worth it. I've already half heartedly attempted to overdose twice but I've always made sure that the amount I take is relatively small so that deep down I know I probably won't actually kill myself- I just go through the process.
My whole life I have aimed towards becoming a vet and recently, I've realised that this probably won't happen because I'm not accademically strong enough- I'm close and its literally probably only by one grade, in one subject (maths) which no matter what I do- I'm never going to be able to improve. It actually hurts to only be slightly away from my dream- yet know that no matter how hard I try, I'll more than likely never get there.
I'm sick of the school I'm in- I just feel like its constantly dragging me down and because I've told them about my suicide attempts, I feel like they're constantly watching me, and every time I have a slightly off day- they ring my parents who then insist on talking about everything, when sometimes all I need to do is just go home and get a good nights sleep. I've spoken about leaving with a few teachers who I trust and have confided a lot in- they all seem to think that I'm running away- especially from the maths department, because the department feel that I haven't tried hard enough this year, because I'm the type of person who will quite happily sit there in class and go unnoticed. I also have issues with trust and feeling vulnerable so I often won't ask for help, even when i desperately need it. I end up panicking in my exams- to the point of hyperventilating and bursting into fits of uncontrolable tears. My maths teachers really don't understand this and think I should just work harder- but I'm working as hard as I possibly could, I just have issues with stress and anxiety. To be fair my maths teachers don't know about anything- the suicide attempts, the beta blockers, the anti depressants etc because I dont feel enough trust/warmth from them to feel "safe" enough to confide this information in them. Most teachers think that I should just talk it through with the maths teachers and explain exactly where I'm coming from- rather than uproot and move myself to a new school in what is probably going to be the hardest and most important year of my life so far.
I know I'm heading towards failure- I have to submit my UCAS by october 15th and right now I don't think I could handle the rejection that is more than likely going to come my way. I could in theory just wait a year, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I can't see a point to my life anymore. If I don't end up being a vet, what else will I do? I may as well just give up now and call it a day. I'm sat here with multiple bottles of alcohol and boxes of pills. My parents are away for the weekend so nobody would be able to find me in time to do anything. Can someone give me a reason not to?
My whole life I have aimed towards becoming a vet and recently, I've realised that this probably won't happen because I'm not accademically strong enough- I'm close and its literally probably only by one grade, in one subject (maths) which no matter what I do- I'm never going to be able to improve. It actually hurts to only be slightly away from my dream- yet know that no matter how hard I try, I'll more than likely never get there.
I'm sick of the school I'm in- I just feel like its constantly dragging me down and because I've told them about my suicide attempts, I feel like they're constantly watching me, and every time I have a slightly off day- they ring my parents who then insist on talking about everything, when sometimes all I need to do is just go home and get a good nights sleep. I've spoken about leaving with a few teachers who I trust and have confided a lot in- they all seem to think that I'm running away- especially from the maths department, because the department feel that I haven't tried hard enough this year, because I'm the type of person who will quite happily sit there in class and go unnoticed. I also have issues with trust and feeling vulnerable so I often won't ask for help, even when i desperately need it. I end up panicking in my exams- to the point of hyperventilating and bursting into fits of uncontrolable tears. My maths teachers really don't understand this and think I should just work harder- but I'm working as hard as I possibly could, I just have issues with stress and anxiety. To be fair my maths teachers don't know about anything- the suicide attempts, the beta blockers, the anti depressants etc because I dont feel enough trust/warmth from them to feel "safe" enough to confide this information in them. Most teachers think that I should just talk it through with the maths teachers and explain exactly where I'm coming from- rather than uproot and move myself to a new school in what is probably going to be the hardest and most important year of my life so far.
I know I'm heading towards failure- I have to submit my UCAS by october 15th and right now I don't think I could handle the rejection that is more than likely going to come my way. I could in theory just wait a year, but I don't think that will make much difference.
I can't see a point to my life anymore. If I don't end up being a vet, what else will I do? I may as well just give up now and call it a day. I'm sat here with multiple bottles of alcohol and boxes of pills. My parents are away for the weekend so nobody would be able to find me in time to do anything. Can someone give me a reason not to?
A lot of replies are telling you to just consider other options... I know that it is impossible to consider something else when you have your heart set on something. I was recently in your position too, quite similar actually, just that I'm struggling to get into med school... I cannot bear to even think of doing anything other than that.
I've actually been rejected from all med schools. Why? I had a subject that was letting me down too but I realised it wasn't the end... In fact, I had a whole extra year (year 13) to do retakes and sort myself out, so many people turn their A-levels around during year 13 via retakes and it really does work most the time because you'll have more experience then... Believe me it's not the end of world in year 12, you're actually not in a bad position at all because most universities wouldn't care even if you retook the whole year 12.
Now I'm waiting to see what August brings for me... just praying to God that things turn out right this time. Otherwise, it's another painful blow to my esteem and it would be then that I really couldn't bare to be alive anymore, it's how much it means to me and I just couldn't take the shame.
But if I fail again I'm going to keep at it, go through grad entry. Vets do the same thing. I don't know about vet med but I'm sure it's a similar story; there are people who have got into medicine after a little 3-year degree and their A-levels aren't anything special, talking about BBC and BDE no joke. And you're clearly better than BDE.
It's hard you know but you need more fire, you will get there in the end, be it next year or in a little 4 years after a biomed degree, patience.
As for suicide... not only will you not be able to be a vet as a dead person (and people will remember you as the guy/girl who didn't make it to be a vet or didn't do much with his/her life) but think about the people who'll be hurting... your parents... siblings if you have any... your family... friends...
Sometimes I'd rather be dead but considering these things has stopped me from any suicide attemps right now. Grief is an awful feeling which takes so many years to get over and changes lives forever... In my right mind I couldn't have the heart to deliberately inflict such a thing on people, especially people such as parents who have spent their lives and money raising me, friends who say they love me, it's heartbreaking.
Can i just say, that you really shouldn't post things like that. Six years ago, I posted on the internet asking for help before a suicide attempt. The only respondent told me to do it. I was in HDU for a week (not that i remember) and was told it was a miracle i survived.
Im not saying this person directly caused me to do it. But it stopped me from seeking further help.
And no, you wont hear about a student who overdosed - too many do it for people to care anymore.
OP - can i urge you, talk to someone. A friend, relative, or professional. Things seem very overwhelming now, but in the big scheme academia is not the be all and end all. You might find something through this that you'll be more passionate about than veterinary medicine, but how will you find out if you die? If you live through it, you'll realise how much worse you will have made things. I remember waking up in hospital, and thinking, 'what did i think before? NOW i have a reason to die. I've ****** up my life, and tore apart my family.' Its taken six years to even make headway on fixing what i did. And its been a very long six years. You can bypass all this - talk to someone.
Im not saying this person directly caused me to do it. But it stopped me from seeking further help.
And no, you wont hear about a student who overdosed - too many do it for people to care anymore.
OP - can i urge you, talk to someone. A friend, relative, or professional. Things seem very overwhelming now, but in the big scheme academia is not the be all and end all. You might find something through this that you'll be more passionate about than veterinary medicine, but how will you find out if you die? If you live through it, you'll realise how much worse you will have made things. I remember waking up in hospital, and thinking, 'what did i think before? NOW i have a reason to die. I've ****** up my life, and tore apart my family.' Its taken six years to even make headway on fixing what i did. And its been a very long six years. You can bypass all this - talk to someone.
take anti depressants they work
i do not want to be a vet. people think its such a great job. and what do you do? help fricking pets. i mean pets? come on. who cares if that little fricking hamster lives. at least if your a doctor your helping people not fricking terapins and stick insects. let the guppy die and get a new fish.
sure its good money, interesting, satisfying, if you like animals im sure you;d feel proud. but its such a pink fairy job. if your helping farm animals then that brill though at least it matters if they live.
in other words, if you cant be a heroic vet then whoopy doo. you are brought up by a high flying successful family? try spending some time with some people that are happy with easy normal jobs your views will change.
MATHS
no, you can do good in maths, you just dont know how to yet, you have not learned how to learn it or understand it. go back to basics, learn the foundations. take responsibility for your own learning. dont rely on the teacher, STUDY it dont read it, take the time, pick it apart bit by bit, memorise basic rules, practice. start learning how to learn. and watch the video in my sig.
i do not want to be a vet. people think its such a great job. and what do you do? help fricking pets. i mean pets? come on. who cares if that little fricking hamster lives. at least if your a doctor your helping people not fricking terapins and stick insects. let the guppy die and get a new fish.
sure its good money, interesting, satisfying, if you like animals im sure you;d feel proud. but its such a pink fairy job. if your helping farm animals then that brill though at least it matters if they live.
in other words, if you cant be a heroic vet then whoopy doo. you are brought up by a high flying successful family? try spending some time with some people that are happy with easy normal jobs your views will change.
MATHS
no, you can do good in maths, you just dont know how to yet, you have not learned how to learn it or understand it. go back to basics, learn the foundations. take responsibility for your own learning. dont rely on the teacher, STUDY it dont read it, take the time, pick it apart bit by bit, memorise basic rules, practice. start learning how to learn. and watch the video in my sig.
