It takes me too long to cum! (male)

S.R

What is this weird positon?? i need drawings.

My legs have to be tightly crossed and very close to my body, with my legs slightly tensed. It is seriously odd. Otherwise there is just no feeling and climax is impossible.

It doesn't work with a partner because if someone touches me anywhere else it will prevent me from cumming.... Really weird. It's like I need my whole body to be very close together. This is why I think it is physical or something...

I saw a documentary where a woman had exactly the same thing....

Reply 42

ourlastmemory

Inspironie

I am seriously thinking about seeing my doctor about it.... Thanks...
Is this something I can go to the doctor about even?? It isn't really an illness?

Yeah definitely, it's a condition in the same ilk as premature ejaculation and it can be quite the self-esteem crusher as you've probably found, plus it's a surprisingly common problem.

You could always go to a sexual health clinic? They tend to be more confidential and more catered to these kinds of issues as well.

Anyway I agree that it's a mental thing, you've got it fixed in your head that it won't happen and so it's probably not going to. You're all concentrated on this "special position" so you need to shake off the association between that and ejaculating.
Try and enjoy sex regardless though. I know it's hard but once you stop thinking so much about this then it might even begin to go away.

Reply 43

Jinxy

This person's advice is really good. Take it.

Don't masturbate for at least a week and then get yourself extremely horny, without touching yourself, really mentally arouse yourself and don't do your 'special position'.

Don't give in or you'll never kick the habit; that's what it is.

You are right. I will try.

But I am seriously addicted to masturbation. I was quite badly ill last winter and couldn't masturbate for two days. They were the only two days I've missed in a very long time... I had, what felt like, a permanent erection during those two days.... I'm not even joking about this.

ourlastmemory

Anyway I agree that it's a mental thing, you've got it fixed in your head that it won't happen and so it's probably not going to. You're all concentrated on this "special position" so you need to shake off the association between that and ejaculating.
Try and enjoy sex regardless though. I know it's hard but once you stop thinking so much about this then it might even begin to go away.

Ok, it is part mental. But also A LOT physical. It just FEELS weird if I'm in any other position... as in physically feels weird. :p:

Reply 44

Jinxy

Inspironie

You are right. I will try.

But I a seriously addicted to masturbation. I was quite badly ill last winter and couldn't masturbate for two days. They were the only two days I've missed in a very long time... I had, what felt like, a permanent erection during those two days.... I'm not even joking about this.

Well whenever you get like that, try it, but differently.

Reply 45

Jinxy

Well whenever you get like that, try it, but differently.

Ok. I will need tremendous will-power I guess...
Although this is a very odd conversation; thanks :smile:

Oh, how do guys normally masturbate then? I mean, which position should I do if not my special one??!
I almost forgot to ask this?!

Do you lay down or sit up? Legs straight I presume? (I don't think I could ever cum lying down tbh)

Reply 46

wtfCharlie

Keep practising. Seems to work for girls.

And, no, you are NOT desensitizing. I used to be about 2 times a day, and believe me I'm not desensitized.

Reply 47

Same man. I'm 18 though. Had sex for the first time roughly 3 months ago. Went absolutely raggo on her because i couldnt cum. But i think it was her rubbish pussy probably- absolutely terrible infact. I was there for literally an hour pounding her through her bed.

Reply 48

Do not let yourself masturbate in the position that you like the most, as you have made yourself too used to it and will need to get used to it other ways. It is a habit that you have formed being able to just do it that way. Could you not, though, allow a partner to give you a handjob/ blowjob in that position, or would that not work either?

I would say you do not need to not allow girls to give you a hand or blow job, but tell them you prefer proper sex, so just use either of those methods as foreplay and then use sex to orgasm. That way you will be more turned on by the point of sex anyway.

Maybe your masturbate too much and so are not used to a real vagina? If you still wish to masturbate, have you considered using a toy such as the Fleshlight to try and get a more authentic feel as sex would be, thus helping you learn to orgasm better with a woman?

I do agree with the comment about it being psychological too. You need to not stress about it. It is easier said than done, but you will no doubt be thinking and worrying about not being able to orgasm whilst you are having sex. Try and clear your mind and focus on the sensations/ your partners body/ think about something sexy.

If nothing you try helps then please go and see your GP. They deal with many things like this so do not be embarrassed. It may feel humiliating while you are there, but think of the embarrassment that you may save with girls in the future and it is worth it :smile:

Good luck!

Oh, and I would not have sex with 'randoms' at uni either if you can help it. You need to have a supportive partner really to help you work through these issues, so try and find someone who will listen and help you and not tell you off for it. Explain your issue and how it is nothing to do with them, and have fun trying to find new ways that work for both of you.

Reply 49

Inspironie

Ok. I will need tremendous will-power I guess...
Although this is a very odd conversation; thanks :smile:

3 times is ideal :yep:

Reply 50

Sorry, it took me a while to write my reply so other people have already said basically what I did

Reply 51

jet1990

snip

Thanks.
I don't have one night stands. I'm 23 and have only had sex with one girl (dunno if this is good or bad :p:

). So yeah, I'm looking for a proper partner.

Reply 52

jet1990

Maybe your masturbate too much and so are not used to a real vagina? If you still wish to masturbate, have you considered using a toy such as the Fleshlight to try and get a more authentic feel as sex would be, thus helping you learn to orgasm better with a woman?

QUOTE]

As if we'd be sad enough to spend $60 on that :perv:

Reply 53

kpwxx

It is probably a psychological thing, so talking to your GP for a therapist referal could help. You can get these on the NHS, but I understand if you can't as I have problems I'm too nervous to talk to doctor about. However, I think it would really help with your well being so if you feel you can definitely go for it!

Otherwise, explaining to a girl who you trust when you're in a relationship could work. I wouldn't be freaked out, being 'good in bed' is about doing what works for the other person. Then you could work through it together and try other things/possible solutions to either help you do things you can't now or find new things which work for you. That way you won't be worried she will think it's her since she knows about the situation and you know she won't judge you during.

xx

Reply 54

Militantbuthopeful

Inspironie

**I'm a mature student, currently 23 years old** Dunno what I put when I filled out my profile. Changing it now though**

It takes me too long to ejaculate during sex!

During masturbation I can cum quickly when my body is in a "special position"... I CANNOT use this special position during sex as it is too weird and would definitely kill the mood. Also, this position is not for two people, it only makes sense for masturbatory purposes. (I hope you can understand this) :confused:

I saw a documentary where some women find it extremely difficult to orgasm. And one woman could only orgasm when her legs were crossed in a special way close to her body. I have a similar thing, but I'm a guy. I cannot cum if my legs are straight either... It is definitely odd.

During sex:
It takes me a *minimum* of 50 mins to cum. My average is around 1 hour 30 mins.

The longest it has taken is 4 hours.... yes 4 hours of pure sex. The girl said it was good, but it was not much fun for me, tbh. My cock was even damaged after that. No joke. I had some chafes. Not permanent, but it hurt at the time.

Some times I cannot cum at all during sex and I just tell the girl it isn't going to happen.

I cannot cum from a blowjob or handjob, not even close. So I had to decline them all of my life.

I cannot cum from doggy style or the woman on top either.
I can ONLY cum from *hard* missionary position sex....

Oh and perhaps the worst thing. I cannot cum at all if I wear a condom :frown:

Because of this I stopped having sex with girls. It is too embarrassing and anxiety provoking, as I am afraid if I cannot cum during sex; the girl may think it is her fault or something. I have only had sex with one girl. My sex drive is very high though.

I will start university this September and I think I would want to have sex with a girl. I have not had sex for 5 years now and I'm even masturbating twice per day, everyday of the week.

I don't know what to do. It is quite bad. :frown:

Does anyone have any serious advice?

Take a fortnight of and try again

Reply 55

[QUOTE="Lamps08"]

jet1990

Some people will. I am not saying that anyone has to try it, but I do believe that it may be more helpful than using your hand, as that is a different sensation to sex and so will help with the desensitization issue. Plus if you get a good amount of use out of it then why not? It is no different to buying anything else that you use for a pleasurable experience, such as lots of different video games: you do not need to have lots of them, but you find them good and buy them, why not spend the money elsewhere?

Each to their own :smile:

Reply 56

[QUOTE="jet1990"]

Lamps08

Cause it's really really sad. I would be put of using it tbh.

Reply 57