Is this strange?

I've masturbated since I was around 12 but didn't manage to orgasm until I was 17. I can reach orgasm by using my fingers or a bullet no problem, however a man has never made me orgasm. I only noticed recently that when I'm getting fairly close my legs completely tense up, they've not done this when I've been with a man and I think this is the reason why I've never orgasmed with one.

All the sexual advice say that to achieve orgasm you have to relax and let it come (no pun intended) naturally. But in a way, it feels like I'm forcing myself to orgasm in the last few moments, and that makes it easier.

Has anyone done anything similar? I really want my boyfriend to be able to make me orgasm but I'm not quite sure what's going wrong.

Thanks guys.

Reply 1

Tyrannosaurus Cal

Are you giving it long enough? Are you getting him to do the things you know work for you? Maybe you could get him to use the bullet on you, or a vibrator or something fun like that. And hopefully it will come with time when you're relaxed and into it.

Reply 2

Lyndon1504

Try blurring the lines between masturbation and sex,, try doing what you do to yourself.. but do it during sex too.. I wouldn't mind if a girl was using a bullet or her fingers whilst I was sexing it up.

Then eventually you can sortof, wean yourself off doing your own thing

Reply 3

lozzyhickers

I agree with Tyrannosaurus, as well as that, just relax, don't think about it. It seems to me, you're subconsciously confusing the two situations, and it seems as though you may be getting frustrated/worried about it. But whatever you do, try to relax, or it won't happen. Enjoy yourself =)

Reply 4

thelittleredfox

Anonymous

TBH once you have managed to orgasm with a man, you can usually do it again and again. Orgasm is to some extent a learnt response/behaviour, and once you know how to do it in a particular way it becomes easy.

Many girls orgasm as you do, by tensing. I always have. If I'm honest, for the first few years of my sex life it REALLY affected my ability to orgasm with a man. It had got so I could only orgasm with my legs together, straight and tensed. Obviously, this presented a problem for intercourse :s-smilie:

However, at the time I had a loving long term boyfriend who understood my problem and would masturbate me/give me oral in positions where my legs were straight and tensed, allowing me to orgasm by his actions.

However, that still left me with a problem with intercourse. Then I started seeing a new man who wasn't quite as accommodating. Because I really fancied him, and he turned me on, one time I managed to orgasm during intercourse, while touching myself, with my legs bent and open, even though I was tensing a bit against him. Now I can do that easily, and orgasm in other positions with my legs open. It was something I had to LEARN to do though, and it didn't happen straight away and it wasn't that easy.

Also, don't be too worried if you can't orgasm with a man at this point. Again, it is often something you have to practice at and learn to do. I could always bring myself off but it took a couple of years(!) with my first boyfriend before he could give me an orgasm. But then it got easier and easier, and has got better and better over the years.

So no reason to be concerned (just plenty of reason to put in lots of practice even if it is difficult at first :smile:

)

Reply 5

member64211

If while you're having sex you're conciously thinking about when you're going to orgasm then something isn't right. In my, uh, experience it's generally taken them off guard when it happens.

Reply 6

thelittleredfox

CompactDestruction

If while you're having sex you're conciously thinking about when you're going to orgasm then something isn't right. In my, uh, experience it's generally taken them off guard when it happens.

Erm, I don't agree on this one. I'm a girl and if I wasn't thinking about when I was going to have one, I certainly wouldn't have one. It never takes me "off guard" because obviously I am aware of the build up and am concentrating really hard on the sensations in order to focus and have one.