The Student Room Group

I recently lost a friend, I feel so lost.

Hi guys and girls. I apologize if this is the wrong place for this topic and all but I just need to get this out.

On the 12th of August I lost a friend. Last December she had gotten into an accident and suffered internal bleeding and had gone through several operations to stop the bleeding. On the twelfth of August she went for another operation to try one last time to stop the bleeding. During the operation her heart stopped but the doctors managed to revive her. However, further in the operation her heart stopped again, and they lost her.

I, right now have never felt so ******* lost in my entire life. She was an amazing friend, a wonderful person, sweet and caring, yet somehow we managed to move further apart. Last year we had gotten into a tiny little argument and haven't spoken since. My best friend emailed me last night to let me know. I ******* hate myself. I really do. I tried, so many times to get back in touch with her, apologize for whatever it was I had done wrong but gave up after a while. Now I regret not trying hard enough.

She was only 18 for **** sake, seriously what the ****. I hate deaths, they always get me super depressed, but this even more so. The fact that we hadn't spoken in a while, and there was small tension in the fact that we hadn't spoken.

I can't even explain how ****** I feel.

I need help, I feel so depressed, ashamed and sicked of myself. I ******* hate myself. ****!
Reply 1
:console:
Reply 2
i lost a friend about a year and a half ago and he was my childhood friend from when i was about 3 but we got to secondary school and grew apart. When i found out he died from a mutual friend of ours i dont think i have ever felt such a scary strange feeling and i really felt guilt like u as well. It took me a while to stop thinking about him so much but eventually u'll come to terms with it u just have to get on with it im afraid its part of life however sad and unfair it seems but there are many others in the same situation
Reply 3
:hugs:

I'm sorry for your lost :frown:
Reply 4
Don't blame your self for anything, it's not your fault, sometimes arguments just happen and you shouldn't feel guilty about this.

Sorry for your loss btw xxx
Reply 5
:jumphug:
Reply 6
Alexby
i lost a friend about a year and a half ago and he was my childhood friend from when i was about 3 but we got to secondary school and grew apart. When i found out he died from a mutual friend of ours i dont think i have ever felt such a scary strange feeling and i really felt guilt like u as well. It took me a while to stop thinking about him so much but eventually u'll come to terms with it u just have to get on with it im afraid its part of life however sad and unfair it seems but there are many others in the same situation


Having lost many close friends I know exactly what you mean.

I still can't shake the pain away though. I feel so ******* dead inside.

@asdalol/Joey - If spamming in this topic makes you feel better about yourself, boosts your ego, provides you with an escape from physical or mental abuse or provides you with the slightest bit of entertainment, feel free.
Reply 7
hey, the sad thing is I think alot of us have been through something similar and know just how you feel. My mum tells me that time is a great healer, as each day goes by you will start to come to terms with it. The guilt will fade and life will go on; as hard as we try there are things we cant change.
Reply 8
really sorry for your loss...
Reply 9
I'm sorry for your loss, I lost a close friend to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome in January. The night before it happened I saw him in the street but couldn't stop to talk. I'd like to say it gets easier but it doesn't always, but you do eventually find a way of coping with it and coming to terms with what happened. Try not to remember that argument, try to remember all the good times you had. Nothing was your fault, the guilt will fade with time.
Sorry for your loss. :console: Do you have any other friends who you can talk with about it? Perhaps they can help you, or you can help each other get through this. Moving on is a sad fact of life.
Reply 11
I'm sorry that you lost your friend. Speak to the doctor about the depression explain your situation and say you really need to speak to someone alternatively speak to someone on the various helplines to get things off your chest. But know its not your fault things like this are a fact of life and it was just bad luck that you happened not to have been in contact for a while before her accident.
Here's some guy advice.
Man up.
Reply 13
George C
Hi guys and girls. I apologize if this is the wrong place for this topic and all but I just need to get this out.

On the 12th of August I lost a friend. Last December she had gotten into an accident and suffered internal bleeding and had gone through several operations to stop the bleeding. On the twelfth of August she went for another operation to try one last time to stop the bleeding. During the operation her heart stopped but the doctors managed to revive her. However, further in the operation her heart stopped again, and they lost her.

I, right now have never felt so ******* lost in my entire life. She was an amazing friend, a wonderful person, sweet and caring, yet somehow we managed to move further apart. Last year we had gotten into a tiny little argument and haven't spoken since. My best friend emailed me last night to let me know. I ******* hate myself. I really do. I tried, so many times to get back in touch with her, apologize for whatever it was I had done wrong but gave up after a while. Now I regret not trying hard enough.

She was only 18 for **** sake, seriously what the ****. I hate deaths, they always get me super depressed, but this even more so. The fact that we hadn't spoken in a while, and there was small tension in the fact that we hadn't spoken.

I can't even explain how ****** I feel.

I need help, I feel so depressed, ashamed and sicked of myself. I ******* hate myself. ****!


I'm really really sorry for your loss :frown: I can't imagine what you're going through! The fact you feel so cut up about it shows how much you cared for her. you had no idea what was going to happen and you are not a bad person. You still tried. So please stop blaming yourself and just remember the good times with her, the memories may help you through this..
I am so sorry for your loss. Talking about it helped for me, so maybe it does for you too.

:grouphugs:
Reply 15
I know how you feel. Perhaps her funeral would have given you closure but I say speak to the family, and just try remembering the GOOD times you had. So sorry for your loss
I lost a friend neearly a year ago, and it was really hard at first, but me and my friends stuck together and went to his funeral and everything so i'd suggest that if you have friends who also knew her, it'd be comforting to be around each other around this time; it kinda stops you from thinking about it on your own too much; that could drive you crazy after a while.
Life is seriously too short, you dunno what will happen tomorrow =/
I still think about him nearly everyday tbh, but i promise it will get better over time.
I know you must probably hate yourself atm, but at least you know now that life is too short for silly little arguments. Horrible things like this does really put things into perspective...

From the bottom of my heart, I'm sosososo sorry for your loss. :hugs:
Reply 17
xxxpenguinnnxxx
I'd suggest that if you have friends who also knew her, it'd be comforting to be around each other around this time; it kinda stops you from thinking about it on your own too much; that could drive you crazy after a while.
Life is seriously too short, you dunno what will happen tomorrow =/
I still think about him nearly everyday tbh, but i promise it will get better over time.
I know you must probably hate yourself atm, but at least you know now that life is too short for silly little arguments. Horrible things like this does really put things into perspective...

From the bottom of my heart, I'm sosososo sorry for your loss. :hugs:


This. And I emphatize with you. Losing someone you care for is definitely hard to accept. But regretting about the things you should have done will make it more harder for you to move on. Instead learn from that lesson and start to make things right for those whom you love who are still alive and well. Life is really short, you just have to make the best of it.

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