feeling lonely at uni

people are nice and friendly but i find myself feeling really lonely particulary at night and in the morning when i wake up.i dont see much of my flatmates half of them are always out or hiding or i dunno! and the rest are nice but i dont really click with them if that makes sense. ive talked to other people from other flats and different blocks even but i dont feel i have really made any friends yet . im worried im going to end up a loner with no proper friends :frown:

like in the day apart from enrolmemnt i dunno what im doing i dont know what to do or who to go with. evenings are easier as loadsa people all go out. is this nomrmal opr am i just weird?

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Reply 1

x kat x

just give it time everyone's bound to feel lonely at first.
Good Luck making friends though

Reply 2

qwerty_st/n

dont worry, i had exactly the same when i first moved into halls last year, i lived wi two chinese girls who made no effort to interact wi me and it was miserable
i only had my friends at uni none of whom lived in halls and the only thing stoppin me from throwing myself out of my 13th floor window was phoning home an talkin to my family
but as you make more friends on your course, you may find that there are some that live in the same halls as you
if there are any parties in ur halls, go along, even if your on your own, cos its the only way you'll get to know other ppl that live in ur halls
if u keep tryin, u will no doubt find ppl that you click wi, you could also consider joining societies or the like
you wont be a billy no mates for too long! good luck wi it :smile:

Reply 3

Irrational Pi

I'm in the same sitation :frown:

Just hoping my course/ some socities will improve things :smile:

Reply 4

Sarky

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Like bwgames says, joining some societies may help. You'll meet likeminded people who you may click with more than people in halls. I found halls very isolating last year as my flatmates were mainly mature/international students. It was the people on my course who kept me going along with joining some societies. My friends on my course didn't join any of the same socities as me, but i did it because it genuinely interested me and it kept me going.

Good luck x[/FONT]

Reply 5

Graham_Scotland

i was having this exact same problem until somebody came down and asked me if i wanted to join them. i was so glad they asked as im really nervous/shy.

thats only in the halls though on my course i have not really mixed well but its early days and there are group activities organised such as a class bowling event to help people mix well.

Reply 6

ed,edd,eddd,edddd

i am chronically shy, this is my third week of uni, i only made 1 friend, who is has gone to london for a days, i dont like most of the people in my halls, or my course, i dont drink and dont like clubbing, after lectures or seminars i go back to my room play on my computer or watch a dvd, societies and clubs here are dead except football, but unfortunately they play in the afternoon when i have to be in a lecture, the locals are racist ****s get dirty looks when i go into town especially in the market,
scarborough is a monkey town, i regret choosing to come here, i think i will change to a bigger university like newcastle or manchester next year where you get a wide variety of people and a racially friendly town

Reply 7

thunderstorm

i just havent really met anyone that i really get on with yet. people are nice etc but its just naff not having decent friends/decent people to talk to. ive lost my appetite and kept crying earlier about it i have cheered up slightly but still feel naff. i know i just have to keep trying when i see new people and just not panic and stick it out for a while. maybe when i start lessons next week itll be easier.. not sure. i want to join a couple of the clubs but we dont find out about them till sunday freshers fair so ill have to wander around doing nothing for the next few days zzz. nightimes are slightly better if you go out although tonight dunno what doing as bit knackered and theres a better event on tommorow loadsa people aregoing. i just feel stupid for feeling like this really i wish i didnt get stressed so easily. really hope i get my appetite back soon. thanks everyone for replying and good luck with all your unis hopefully life will get easier at them intime :s-smilie:

Reply 8

Spiral

Aww give it another couple of weeks and I'm sure you won't even remember feeling like you do now! You can always phone up some of your closer friends and have a chat to them which might make you feel better.

Give it time :wink:

try not to let it get to you mate, like i do, i spend most of my time by-myself doing what i like, even if you dont make that many mates, it does not mean you cant have a good enjoyable time by-urself, like listen to music or comedy, yesterday night i was laughing so hard tears where coming out of my eyes

when you get bored try listenig to live 365, they have 1000s of free online radio stations, my personal favourite being the comedy stations http://www.live365.com/index.live

Reply 11

theepw

freshers week for me has been a massive rollercoaster ride. Today I met some people on my course and we went for some lunch. But this evening, there is a pub crawl and Im not a drinker, so I guess I will spend tonight in my halls and watch a DVD or something.

Im just not confident enough to make friends at the moment, the people on my halls have already banded together in their separate groups and ive been left out. There is one guy I know, but he likes drinking and clubbing...

I just want to know whether most friends are made on your course? Or at freshers? Because Im dreading that my dislike for clubbing is going to make me zero friends during the year.... Is it the end for me already? Or will my proper friends be made during lectures?

Reply 12

ed,edd,eddd,edddd

well i havent made any friends on my course or in my halls, and i have been here nearly 3 weeks, if you are not very shy and keep to urself like me then you will be fine just give it time and a bit of luck

Reply 13

legbreakgoogly

Just have a dorm party. Worked for me everytime.

Reply 14

chriswhit

thunderstorm

like in the day apart from enrolmemnt i dunno what im doing i dont know what to do or who to go with. evenings are easier as loadsa people all go out. is this nomrmal opr am i just weird?

Perfectly normal and I spent a lot of last week feeling like this..the quiet moments where you have time to think are always hard. Its then that you start missing home etc. The good news is that it does tend to get a lot better as you start to settle into the routines of your new environment, course etc and meet different people. Those who you have met you do get to know better and become more secure in the friendships you have with them. It is always going to be a little awkward and uncertain at first, this is perfectly normal. The "proper friends" you talk about im sure will emerge as time goes on. Just stick with it and give it time. Doing things like joining clubs is also a great way to meet people.

Reply 15

undiscovered

thunderstorm

like in the day apart from enrolmemnt i dunno what im doing i dont know what to do or who to go with. evenings are easier as loadsa people all go out. is this nomrmal opr am i just weird?

You're not weird at all. I feel lonely in the morning too, especially when loads of people are out all across campus at various registration/department things.

Reply 16

kpg

theepw

You can still do a pub crawl without the booze! We did one after college a fair while back and there 2-3 who just had coke/orange juice and bits and bobs to eat while some were just having the odd drink and others having 2 pints at each pub lol. A big diversity and no-one really cared. It was just a big laugh that's all. It's just another excuse to get to know eachother (and for some an excuse to get wasted lol but not for all!).

Reply 17

Love_Hearts

hey guys, wot unis u al in? im in aber and freshers has been a bit of an anti-climax to be honest. the first 2 night i cried my self to sleep, and wasnt hungry at all. u housmates are shity part from guys whos preety cool... 1 chinese guy, a mature student, and 2 girls who dont socialise at all. anyway ive met people randomly all over campus just started chatting to people and got lots of new phone numbers in my phone. to be honest ie only been here like 4 days so i can base uni life on them few days. when lecturs start and u will meet people of similar interests.... although it is easier said than done, and i do miss the close friendship i have with my mates back home...but give it time and im sure it will be cool.

Reply 18

marmitebagel

The thing is though there are soooo many people in lectures. Even if you talk to one person hard to see them consistently. Hopefully when my seminars start and there are only like 20 people in a room I will be able to make friends easier.

Reply 19

MissSurfer

I'm not starting uni for 2 years yet but I'm worried this'll happen to me then too! Don't worry though, I think there's a LOT of people in the same boat...you'll have lots of friends soon!

MissSurfer