So my best friend told me yesterday that when she leaves home for university she probably won't be coming back to our city ever except for Christmas but if she can avoid that she will too! So I asked her why and wouldnt she miss her family? And she went into a big story about her family and stuff whic is pretty deep and I'm not going to mention most, but she really dosent have a proper relationship with her parents at all, I always knew they were strict because she always had to psyche herself up just to ask to go into town or something, but I never knew the things that had happened, for example she told me that when she was 11 she had accidentally burnt some toast and and as it does the kitchen became slightly smoky, yet when her mum smelt it she ran downstairs with a belt and repeatedly hit her with it, purposefully making sure the buckle side hit her skin her mum said that it will teach her not to be so foolish to not keep an eye on things in the future, she has a scar on her back and shes never told me how she got it but I bet it's from that! Also she can remember when her brother wet the bed he must have been like 11 and her 6, and she remembers her mum coming up and instead of helping just beating the **** out of her bro and leaving him in the corner of the room crying and wet, because he'd accidentally wet the bed :/ anyway as she's got older she's kept her distance from her parents, they don't speak/anything she just stays in her room all day avoiding them and she said she's never ever missed them once when she been away like on school trips etc... Her parents seem to think that just because they provide for her, that they are the model parents, but when she leaves home she will probably stop talking to them/ talk very rarely considering they don't now, they will have no input/ know whats going on in her life whatsoever, so how is that good parenting? She has always been a cold/unemotional person and I guess she gets that from her mother, it's just sad how some parents think actually BEATING their kids for every little thing is good, yes you do get your kids to become obedient, but because it's out of fear you will never actually have a nice rewarding relationship with them, and they will just grow to avoid you I mean who wants their kids to be distant from them? Sorry for the rant just very annoyed!
Loads of people get beat by their parents (Asians and blacks represeeeentttt + occasional white person ). Most of us come out good. If you come out bad, it's cos you either got beat too much or you got beat too little. That or because you're just a prick.
Also, I've been beaten before. Me and my bro used to get beaten with rolling pins - not just on our hands but over our bodies/wherever they could catch us. I remember showing my friend when I was like <10 my thighs covered in deep purple bruises all mashed up. I can't even remember why I got those lol. I also remember 'organised punishments', as in my mum would get angry at me, take out the rolling pin and tell me to come over here and say how many I'm getting on my hand. They stung like a bitch and a half. This was all under 10. I haven't been beaten since being 10 or older.
Like I said, of those who've been beaten, most of us come out good. If you come out bad, it's cos you either got beat too much or you got beat too little. That or because you're just a prick.
My parents used the belt on me. I mean, they didn't use the buckle, so it was basically like towel-whipping somebody, and I did deserve it. I'd like to think I turned out fine. However, if they're using a buckle on her and leaving scars, breaking skin, giving bruises... Well, that's a whole different story. There's a limit and with kids, it's a fine line you should never cross.
My mum and dad would hit me on hands when I was little if I was naughty. It didn't really hurt it just stang the worst bit was the anitcipation. I think that is OK but child abuse which the OP is talking about isn't. I think it is about the level and the amount etc...
Although one my dad punched me in the face when I was about 14. I think that took it too far.... I think I needed beating back down to my station though lol
i would beat my kids, but not crazily, a better term would probably be 'smack' (no not the drug), i know a lot of white children whose parents didn't beat them and were really soft on them and they NEVER listen to their parents.
I was beaten when I was younger (<10) but never so much that it left scars or bruises or anything! Just enough to put me in my place when I was getting mouthy/ being disobedient. I think there's a limit to how hard you can beat your child and an age limit, because past say 12 years old, the child should know the difference between right and wrong. If they've been brought up properly!
I got beaten up by my mum, used to lock myself in the bathroom as that was the safest place lol, I eventually became a better person. A few beatings here and there does not hurt, and reinforces the child to recognise their place and who leads with authority.
When I was little I used to get hit with a stick once or twice, but it was only if i had doen something bad, not trivial things like OP mentioned. My parents never left me with scars and it taught me to be a better person so I dont look back on it badly asuch.
OP if your friend is still getting beaten as a grown woman i suggest she cuts contact from her famiyl, otherwise, people can change and they could possibly regret being os cruel. It doesnt fix anything by avoiding them and hiding in your room
when she was 11 she had accidentally burnt some toast and and as it does the kitchen became slightly smoky, yet when her mum smelt it she ran downstairs with a belt and repeatedly hit her with it, purposefully making sure the buckle side hit her skin
That's some good parenting, I bet anyone any amount of money she WILL NEVER burn toast again. Lesson learnt.