[HaruhiSuzumiya]

I don't socialize well, so I'm planning on finding a cheap studio or something in the city to live in instead of moving into the halls of residence or getting regular student accommodation.

Is this particularly strange?

I may move into the halls if you guys can tell me I won't have to "mix" with my flatmates

[Joinedup]

Find out what system they're running wherever it is - could just be a shared bathroom per corridor and no 'lounge' in a catered halls.

[notanumber]

If you don't want to make friends there's not much point in taking up a space in halls. It's far better to let someone else who would enjoy it have the room, rather than inflict yourself on people who you don't want to socialise with, as that makes things awkward for others in your flat.

[Wookie42]

Do you not really want to make friends with many people? Not saying that's such a big deal/bad thing, just if you don't live in halls and isolate yourself right from the start you could be in for quite a lonely 3(+) years...

[TheSownRose]

(Original post by notanumber)
If you don't want to make friends there's not much point in taking up a space in halls. It's far better to let someone else who would enjoy it have the room, rather than inflict yourself on people who you don't want to socialise with, as that makes things awkward for others in your flat.

That's quite a ... strange reaction. "Spare other people from never having to talk to you." Surely it wouldn't bother them that much?

[notanumber]

(Original post by TheSownRose)
That's quite a ... strange reaction. "Spare other people from never having to talk to you." Surely it wouldn't bother them that much?

There are always more applicants than places in halls. Why take up a place in halls if you don't want to be there and have no intention of socialising with your flatmates? Surely it makes more sense to let someone who will enjoy halls have the place. Deliberately going into a flat and depriving someone else of the place when you have no intention of relating to your flatmates is surely a much stranger reaction.

Don't you think the other flatmates would rather live with someone who wants to be sociable?

[Blueflare]

If you want to do it, do it.
However, if you can get/afford en-suite accommodation you can stay in your room for extended periods, you may find this acceptable.

[cheer_up_love]

(Original post by TheSownRose)
That's quite a ... strange reaction. "Spare other people from never having to talk to you." Surely it wouldn't bother them that much?

No, no. It does. I live in a flat and never see one of my flatmates, and when I do see her it's SO awkward. It's not nice living in a flat and sharing facilities with pretty much a total stranger.

OP, if you're set against 'mixing' with other people, don't move into halls. Everyone is horrendously friendly and they all want to talk to you in the first month or so. Though I'm confused as to why you WOULDN'T want to make new friends...

EDIT: Just reread your post. If you don't want to go into halls because you're not good at socialising, definitely go into halls and GET good at socialising. Social skills are important and you are going to need them for the rest of your life. Everyone is going to be just as scared and awkward as you; they're not going to have formed their own clique before you get there. It's so much harder to make friends if you're not in halls and you're not a major social butterfly - my friend is a far more sociable person than me, but because she rents a room in a family home and isn't normally around other students outside of lectures, she found it very hard. She's alright now, so it's not impossible, but it'd be a lot easier for you if you just bit the bullet and went for it.

[notanumber]

(Original post by TheSownRose)
That's quite a ... strange reaction. "Spare other people from never having to talk to you." Surely it wouldn't bother them that much?

Read this from Babygirl92 in another thread for the flatmates point of view. The OP made it clear that socialising is not something she wants to do. I'm saying that this has a big impact on the other flatmates. Unfortunately Babygirl92 is having this problem and there's no easy solution.

"I am in my first year in halls of residence.
I live in a flat of 4 people, 2 boys and 2 girls (inc me) and I'm finding it really lonely.

In the first week it was just me and the 2 boys, so I didn't really go out with them during freshers week, I made friends with another flat and spent most of my time with the 3 girls and guy in that flat. When the girl moves into my flat I made an effort to spend time with her and invited her to pre-drinks in my other friends flat which she came to a few times but then just stopped coming out with us, so we never really made friends and she goes home every weekend. So we never really got to be friends.

Because then effectively it was just me and the two guys (girl stays in her room most of the time) I spent most of my time in my friends flat and never really got to know the guys either. We are polite to each other and have conversations when we bump into each other in the kitchen/living room, but we never actually socialise as a flat. They also really dislike our other flat mate, but she knows this and doesn't seem to care.

I've got my friends in the other flat who I do spend a lot of time with. But one of them has dropped out of uni so now I have one less friend there. I am on the same course as one of the girls and am really close to another, and quite friendly with one of the guys in their flat too. I would say they are my close friends in uni, and then we have a wider circle of friends. But with them being in another flat, in a different block I am feeling really lonely. I hate those evenings after uni and days off when nobody wants to do anything and I'm just stuck in my flat watching telly, and after nights out when everybody goes back to their flat and has a chat before bed I always go back alone.

I don't really know what I can do about it though.. They are my friends so I don't want to ditch them and try and make friends with my flatmates because I don't think they want to be friends with me tbh. I just hate feeling isolated.

I never bother inviting them round to my flat because there's really no point tbh, there flat is so much better and most people tend to gather there. I spend quite a bit of time with them in their flat but not as much as I spend in my flat alone. I just don't wanna be spending the rest of the year feeling lonely like this.. anyone got any suggestions? Sorry for the length of this post!"

[noodles!]

If you don't want to share, don't- trust me, you'll feel loads better for it, don't feel like you "have" to because it's what everyone else does.

[DaveSmith99]

You are going to be at uni for three years, do you really think you can cope with three years without any friends/social life?

Stay in halls, make an effort and you should be able to make some good friends who will make your time at uni far more enjoyable.

[Sorani]

(Original post by DaveSmith99)
You are going to be at uni for three years, do you really think you can cope with three years without any friends/social life?

I didn't think it was possible but since I came on this site it seems like there are genuinely people who would rather sit in a dark room on the internet then have anything to do with real-life people. I'll never understand it but I suppose it's nice of them to isolate themselves away from other people.

[TheSownRose]

(Original post by Sorani)
I didn't think it was possible but since I came on this site it seems like there are genuinely people who would rather sit in a dark room on the internet then have anything to do with real-life people. I'll never understand it but I suppose it's nice of them to isolate themselves away from other people.

Don't worry, we won't infect you. We don't even want to talk to you.

[TheSownRose]

(Original post by DaveSmith99)
You are going to be at uni for three years, do you really think you can cope with three years without any friends/social life?

Stay in halls, make an effort and you should be able to make some good friends who will make your time at uni far more enjoyable.

Why does everyone assume being with people automatically makes things more enjoyable? Other people are stressful, hard to interpret, unpredictable and, often ultimately, boring.

[Cicerao]

I'm in halls, dying for a one-bedroom flat next year.

Do it, if you don't like socialising, don't go into a flat full of people.

[Joinedup]

'Hell is other people' - J P Sartre

[psychocustard]

(Original post by Cicerao)
I'm in halls, dying for a one-bedroom flat next year.

Do it, if you don't like socialising, don't go into a flat full of people.

Come live with me by the cricket stadium - I hate people too, so we can just ignore each other and leave sarcastic messages on the fridge

[Cicerao]

(Original post by psychocustard)
Come live with me by the cricket stadium - I hate people too, so we can just ignore each other and leave sarcastic messages on the fridge

Sign me up.

[psychocustard]

(Original post by Cicerao)
Sign me up.

Are they really being that bad?

[Linweth]

Why are people assuming s/he won't have a social life and friends? Just because they don't want to be in halls doesn't mean they'll be an outcast. A lot of people do not even hang out with their hall mates anyway.... there's always societies, course friends and what have you to get the social life.

Not living in halls isn't going to kill your social life, wish people would stop acting as if it would.