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BIG Problem
Hi, I'm 17 and just before the new year someone who used to be a good mate of mine managed to get a girlfriend and he still is with her now, however about 6 months ago I was forced to help sort out a huge argument between the two over MSN. In doing so i was told by her (Becky - 15) about how much of an idiot he (Ryan - 18) is towards her all the time and how often they were arguing. As a result of this I have always been there for her to cheer her up when she is down and especially after Ryan had managed to put her in tears through shouting at her or playing some the sickest practical jokes i have ever herd of because i have always been here for her. an example of how he is is that he more or less forced her to get to her knees, and well, ill leave the rest to your imagination. another would be that she was about to leave for a major operation and he told her that he would rather be out having fun than staying in hospital by her bedside.
After a while i started to develop feelings for Becky but tried to discarded them as she was with my mate and she seemed to like Ryan so much to even think about liking someone else.
Well, Ryan isnt one for changing his personality and the way he acts towards her, and as he found out that me and Becky had been helping each other when we were upset about something, he became jelous, especially as because of how he is, she would rather go to someone else to share her feelings. Also as a result of his jelousy, he started to slag me off behind my back with a load of lies and really telling her what he knew would upset me the most and that my other mates had also been slagging me off about the subject.
Only the other week becky told me that she had become fed up with ryan and was going to break up with him, i asked why and she couldn't give an answer. I asked if it was because of me and if she saw me as more than a mate. she said yes and that she had liked me a lot for a while.
She has only not gotten round to getting rid of him because he had changed a little and she didnt have a reason to get rid of him without raising suspicion on me. There has only been one time since we found out that we both liked each other that she had the chance and she couldnt then because the argument was blamed on me and i was threatened to keep things together between the two by Ryan. She does not want to be with him.
It wont be long untill those two finish now and me and becky both know that we will see each other a couple of weeks after that happens as ryan will be doing all he can to spot us with each other.
Currently i am able to physically be with her on my own twice a week when she comes home from school (Y11) as those two days i have the afternoon off at college but we only see each other as friends and no matter what anyone else thinks we are just mates for the moment.
And no ryan doesnt know anything about this story and it is not him that bothers me to much, its my other mates and how they will react to it
Does anyone have a similar story to this?
After a while i started to develop feelings for Becky but tried to discarded them as she was with my mate and she seemed to like Ryan so much to even think about liking someone else.
Well, Ryan isnt one for changing his personality and the way he acts towards her, and as he found out that me and Becky had been helping each other when we were upset about something, he became jelous, especially as because of how he is, she would rather go to someone else to share her feelings. Also as a result of his jelousy, he started to slag me off behind my back with a load of lies and really telling her what he knew would upset me the most and that my other mates had also been slagging me off about the subject.
Only the other week becky told me that she had become fed up with ryan and was going to break up with him, i asked why and she couldn't give an answer. I asked if it was because of me and if she saw me as more than a mate. she said yes and that she had liked me a lot for a while.
She has only not gotten round to getting rid of him because he had changed a little and she didnt have a reason to get rid of him without raising suspicion on me. There has only been one time since we found out that we both liked each other that she had the chance and she couldnt then because the argument was blamed on me and i was threatened to keep things together between the two by Ryan. She does not want to be with him.
It wont be long untill those two finish now and me and becky both know that we will see each other a couple of weeks after that happens as ryan will be doing all he can to spot us with each other.
Currently i am able to physically be with her on my own twice a week when she comes home from school (Y11) as those two days i have the afternoon off at college but we only see each other as friends and no matter what anyone else thinks we are just mates for the moment.
And no ryan doesnt know anything about this story and it is not him that bothers me to much, its my other mates and how they will react to it
Does anyone have a similar story to this?
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I will once i get a chance to do that. You wouldnt believe how hard it is to see her at the moment. her parents wont let her near me but they only know half of what ryan has done and they like what i have done for her, they just dont like the situation, hance why i am only able to see her twice a week for 30 mins at most
It all sounds way to complicated and messy for my liking, sometimes its easy to get to involved when your trying to help someone,
i think friends is all you should be wait until all her problems with her bf or ex bf have blown over before you remotley consider going further.
DO NOT listen to people who go " oh you seem like such a lovely guy just get with her"
because its not as simple as that but most people just like to see everything that simple
i think friends is all you should be wait until all her problems with her bf or ex bf have blown over before you remotley consider going further.
DO NOT listen to people who go " oh you seem like such a lovely guy just get with her"
because its not as simple as that but most people just like to see everything that simple
Tough situation, this will not be easy at all. You will both have crap to deal with as you will most likely lose your friendship with Ryan. Then theres the whole rebound thing on her end- I know sometimes girls can be a bit flakey. What if they break up and then get back together, girls sometimes have a bad habbit of going back to past (bad) relationships....
But yeah, if you like this girl and your freind has treated her like ****- then there is nothing wrong with throwing your hat in the ring.
The real question is how much do you value your friendship with Ryan??
But yeah, if you like this girl and your freind has treated her like ****- then there is nothing wrong with throwing your hat in the ring.
The real question is how much do you value your friendship with Ryan??
MNBStyle
It all sounds way to complicated and messy for my liking, sometimes its easy to get to involved when your trying to help someone,
i think friends is all you should be wait until all her problems with her bf or ex bf have blown over before you remotley consider going further.
DO NOT listen to people who go " oh you seem like such a lovely guy just get with her"
because its not as simple as that but most people just like to see everything that simple
i think friends is all you should be wait until all her problems with her bf or ex bf have blown over before you remotley consider going further.
DO NOT listen to people who go " oh you seem like such a lovely guy just get with her"
because its not as simple as that but most people just like to see everything that simple
Konar
Tough situation, this will not be easy at all. You will both have crap to deal with as you will most likely lose your friendship with Ryan. Then theres the whole rebound thing on her end- I know sometimes girls can be a bit flakey. What if they break up and then get back together, girls sometimes have a bad habbit of going back to past (bad) relationships....
But yeah, if you like this girl and your freind has treated her like ****- then there is nothing wrong with throwing your hat in the ring.
The real question is how much do you value your friendship with Ryan??
But yeah, if you like this girl and your freind has treated her like ****- then there is nothing wrong with throwing your hat in the ring.
The real question is how much do you value your friendship with Ryan??
These 2 quotes are the best bit of advice i think youll get toma
take them in wisely
we are mates at the moment and will be untill some of this blows over
At the moment i really dont value my friendship with ryan, but i do with my other mates and we all do the same things together, eg, going to the cinema, football, etc. and i have absolutly no idea how they will react, i have an idea that they will all be annoyed but some will be less annoyed than others and will accept the fact eventually.
At the moment i really dont value my friendship with ryan, but i do with my other mates and we all do the same things together, eg, going to the cinema, football, etc. and i have absolutly no idea how they will react, i have an idea that they will all be annoyed but some will be less annoyed than others and will accept the fact eventually.
Kondar
So your other friends dont have any idea? The fact that you have been stealth about this might throw some guilt your way in their eyes, as if youve been trying to steal her away. What do you think?
i havent tried to steal her away at all. as a matter of fact, this relationship between becky and ryan wouldnt have even lasted 6 months without my intervention.
I do agree that that will probably be the thing that they will be most annoyed about, however i hope that they will understand why. They do know however that i do help her a lot when she is upset and that she does the same for me and that we are good mates.
Kondar
So your other friends dont have any idea? The fact that you have been stealth about this might throw some guilt your way in their eyes, as if youve been trying to steal her away. What do you think?
I was just about to say also people will say you only helped her so you could steal her from her bf, and that you poisoned her away from him,
unless this girl is a 1 in a million thing then is diving in a relationship with her right now realy worth the hassle???
PM me some questions about it if you want to, as i have to go now
MNBStyle
I was just about to say also people will say you only helped her so you could steal her from her bf, and that you poisoned her away from him,
unless this girl is a 1 in a million thing then is diving in a relationship with her right now realy worth the hassle???
unless this girl is a 1 in a million thing then is diving in a relationship with her right now realy worth the hassle???
I have never been with someone that i have felt most comfortable with before. We both know how each other thinks, we both have the same interests.
At the moment she is worth them finding out though i will stuggle to cope if they found out tomorrow just what was happening, however she is worth the hassle of everyone finding out in a months time if we are seeing each other.
I was in a similiar situation. I had a freind name 'ricdog' and he was boyfriend/girlfriend with 2 girls at once! One relationship lasted 5 years and the other 2 years. He pulled off these 2 hard core girlfriends at the same time. Mellisa was an awesome girl, really cute, we got along great. I was always tempted to step in and go after her- he treated her like ass. But I never did, Ric, as much of an asswhole as he is to other girls, is one of my best mates.
Bros before hoes
Bros before hoes
Kondar
I was in a similiar situation. I had a freind name 'ricdog' and he was boyfriend/girlfriend with 2 girls at once! One relationship lasted 5 years and the other 2 years. He pulled off these 2 hard core girlfriends at the same time. Mellisa was an awesome girl, really cute, we got along great. I was always tempted to step in and go after her- he treated her like ass. But I never did, Ric, as much of an asswhole as he is to other girls, is one of my best mates.
Bros before hoes
Bros before hoes
but was yer mate slaggin u off constantly to anyone that would listen? that is why i have no cares at all for him. Just my other mates who i feel will just accept the situation after a couple of weeks at most and will just make the very occational joke
Forget him- go after the girl, but tread carefully. I have this image of you going off with her, and him and the rest of your freinds kind of isolating the two of you- which you wont care about at first, cuz youll have her. But when you guys break up- you might be considered somewhat of a traitor/outsider. Talk to one of your better friends in the group and tell him how you feel.
Kondar
Forget him- go after the girl, but tread carefully. I have this image of you going off with her, and him and the rest of your freinds kind of isolating the two of you- which you wont care about at first, cuz youll have her. But when you guys break up- you might be considered somewhat of a traitor/outsider. Talk to one of your better friends in the group and tell him how you feel.
Thats what i intend on doing, i am just worried as i dont want ryan to find out about all of this. i dont expect the whole version that you have in front of you to come out as it has been kept a secret however, i also agree that that might happen with me being isolated. i also am expecting to be threatened by ryan as he had to just to get me to help him the other day. If he hits me in any way, i can see my mates all staying away from him as well.
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