Any other new postgrads feeling a bit out of the loop with work?

I't s a year since I was in classes for my undergrad. Back then I had loads of confidence and felt on top of all my work.

Now I've just started a postgrad at Oxford which should be my dream come true- it's what I always wanted to do, but I feel absolutely terrible about it- SO scared, and now I've got an essay due tomorrow which I physically can't do.

I worked all week reading articles for it, and I've been trying to write it since Friday. I have NOTHING to show for it. to be fair, I had to go into hospital on Friday for a pretty gruesome test which made me feel really ill all weekend, but now I can't actually write the essay. I am SO worried. I never once handed in a piece of late work during my time as an undergrad. This is my first piece of written work due in and it's not going to be on time.

I feel like I should be going beyond where I was at as an undergrad but now I feel like I've gone back 5 years and just done a levels...I feel like I'm starting all over again :frown:

Anyone else get this? Please tell me I'm not alone. :frown:

Reply 1

badpenny

Hi Katebush
If it's any comfort, I know exactly how you feel- I'm into Week 3 on my masters and I feel like the dumbest person in the class.

Here follows a list of cheesy but true cliches to get you through the next week

1) It's meant to be hard, otherwise everyone would have a masters
2) The first piece of work is always a nightmare because you have no idea of the benchmark. By the end of term, you'll know what they're aiming for and it will be much easier (and you might even enjoy it)
3) This is a bit of a revelation to me- I'm doing a writing course, and 90% of my fellow writers hate writing! I think this is because we know it will be judged. Writing an essay on a desert island would be easy.
My way of getting around this is to write lots of drafts- one to get me to put the bloody words on the page, where I imagine everyone else has been vaporised off the surface of the earth, so it doesn't matter what I write- and then polishing drafts.
Sorry, that was probably very muddled. When I finish this masters I am going to be a cook. Or a gardener.

Reply 2

katebush

Thank god I'm not the only one! Phew! :rolleyes:

But still...I spend the entire time wanting to hibernate because I feel SO dumb :frown:

Reply 3

BigDog04

Believe me feeling dumb happens to everyone..

But its much better to feel dumb now and be able to work at it than to feel dumb a week before the final exams.

Reply 4

**R**

i know what u mean , like i had a year off between my old college and this postgrad course, and i hate it so much , i reallyy want to leave , only i dont know what else to do instead, i spent the last 2 years planning and preparing for this course and career , and now that time and effort seems such a waste of time. im at home for mid term for a week, and i cant face going back again. i think i knew on the first or second day that the course wasnt for me, but i hoped it would get better and things would be fine, but now 8 weeks on its no better, and im miserable all the time, i cant learn or study or get on with the course feeling like this. i used to love my old college and course and was always a real swot in the library constantly, so i cant understand feeling like this at all

Reply 5

katebush

Oh my god- that could SO be me talking!!! *hugs*

pm me- we should have a proper chat. I'ts good that we're not alone! It can't be "us", it must be something other people go through too :-)

Reply 6

**R**

yeah its good to know its not just me too, like other ppl on my course think its really hard and v long hours are hard , but none of them seem to b at point of leaving like me ! i was hoping my mum might see how much i hate it and how down i am when i came home, but she is hearing none of it , i can understand she wants me to stay and get a qualification and that, so do i , but i just dont know what to do !

Reply 7

youngone

yup join the club, i've just finished a masters in english and i couldn't tell you how many times during the year i vowed to knock academia on the head and go into agribusiness or something instead

Reply 8

**R**

and are u glad u continued with it ? cos i really want to drop this course , im pretty sure i wont regret it , but this course is what i had planned for and hoped for for 2 years, i dont know what to do next instead of it if i drop it

Reply 9

viviki

totally. I had a couple of years out between my undergrad and masters and in that time forgot everything i ever knew about learning and essay writing. I was ill before I handed in that first essay and got it in by the skin of my teeth whilst throwing up.

See your tutor I was really pissed to find out after handing in that essay that people had got extensions for less than was wrong with me. Let them know whats going on and don't despair, learning is a technique like any other you need to get back into the habit. you'll be fine.

Reply 10

lorrybeep

**R**

what course r u doing...
it sounds hell of a torturing..

Reply 11

etherised

About the essay: just write it. I don't mean that to sound harsh or anything - just, don't worry too much about what you're writing, the quality of it. Just get something down on paper. Then you'll feel better. Once you've done that, you can always improve it. But seriously, the longer you put it off, the worse it will get, and the more the terror will build. Sometimes I find it easier to scribble down everything I think on paper - it seems less permanent, so you don't spend so long getting hung up on every little detail - then transcribe to the computer.

Don't be intimidated by Oxford. They let you in. They think you're good enough. They know what they're doing. Just because other people spout fancy-sounding stuff in seminars, it doesn't mean they're any smarter than you are.

Good luck, I hope it gets better.

Reply 12

pggirl

I am feeling exactly the same way. My reading week started on monday and I have to say that I havent done any reading!! I tried a couple of times, but I cant seem to concentrate on anything. I also have two essays to write, 3000 words each and I really do not feel like doing anything!! My head is totally blocked!! Although, when having group discussions with my mates, I seem to be the one doing all the talking, but getting myself to put my thoughts on paper is a BIG DILEMMA!!!!!