How to tame an alpha male?

I recently just read the long thread on 'why girls go for alpha males'. As much as I hated the mysogyny of some posts on that thread, I can't really deny that I am attracted to alpha males.

I think as I have got older (now being 19), I am more aware of the types of guys I like, as well as being more picky, where as when I was younger, I was still 'testing the water' in a kind of way. I just tend to go for alpha males now, but it doesn't work out because I won't allow myself to be emotionally degraded and toyed in the way that alpha males can potentially so please.

SO, HOW TO GIRLS TAME ALPHA MALES?

Hi Qwenty,

I guess we'll agree to disagree. I don't think someone's sexual predilections necessarily have anything to with whether they are alpha or not. For example you get plenty of alpha women who like to be dominated in the bedroom.

But I definitely agree with what you said about Cosmopolitan. I've tried reading askmen.com. Is that any more accurate ,do you think?

And I just want to say that fantasies don't always reflect reality. All I know is that when I like someone, I know it. I don't give much thought to how I interact with men and what particular men I find sexually appealing. So I think we should cut each other some slack because we can't help who we find attractive. Like I have this obsession with rugby players at the moment? Hey maybe it'll die down. I don't know. Oh I'm embarrassed now because I'm drunk, probably using poor grammar and revealing truths I don't want to reveal (as per usual).

I'm in a confused state of mind. I think this is usual for people in their twenties. None of us really know who we are or what we want really. Do we?

I don't think arrogance is a side-effect of confidence, in fact quite the opposite. Arrogance is what happens when people lacking in confidence try to overcompensate.

Alpha and Beta are not two independent subspecies, but rather two ends of a spectrum of behavioural patterns defined by higher or lower levels of status within a social grouping. The terminology may be clumsy and frequently misunderstood, but its still a useful framework within which to analyse the social dynamics of a sub-group.

I've learnt a lot from reading your posts over the years.

Its not a case of separation, its a case of their being a sliding scale with normal, happy, confident, successful people with high self esteem and social status at the "alpha" end, and various losers at the other (basement dwellers, internet mods, pickup artists etc).

Actually this isn't even close to true.

There absolutely is a black-and-white divide between alpha and beta males, at least at any given snapshot of a social gathering. Its perfectly possible to be a happy, confident, successful beta male (and know it and be content with it). Its also possible to be an unhappy unsuccessful alpha male.

Alpha males have a combination of leadership qualities, strong extroversion and charisma. Alpha males make decisions, both for themselves and, when they think it appropriate, for other people.

You can spot an alpha male in a group because they are the one recounting an anecdote which everyone is listening to, or the one other people keep bringing drinks for. Beta males often want approval and validation from alpha males. Alpha males have presence, and are often "cool".


Theres biological and evolutionary backing to most of this behaviour.

What is your definition of an alpha male HR? Simply social status?

Do you not think there is a degree of hierarchy? For example, in your example if you had 5 beta males and one alpha male and the alpha disappeared off for some reason, would one of the beta males not unconsciously step up and assume his position in his absence?

It is entirely down to hierarchy but the existance of a hierarchy does not imply a continuous scale.

I think you'd find in your example that the most likely event is that one of the beta males would actually change their behaviour to become alpha, from an objective standpoint, in the absence of an alpha male. I dont think they are "automatically" alpha just by being the next-most-confident or whatever. ITs quite possible to have a gathering where everyone is beta (though note that there are alpha nerds, alpha goths etc, with their own rules for alphadom within their own sphere).

I should note that I never try to fully explain men on here or speak on their behalf. I'm merely explicating that people get the term 'alpha male' confused. They think that arrogant douchebags who are obsessed with the gym and talk endlessly about scoring with women are alpha males, but they aren't. True alpha males aren't like that. They don't need to big themselves up because they are already popular and charismatic and well-liked. They don't need to brag to assert their status. And they don't brag about sleeping with lots of women because their prowess is already evident to everyone around them. When I observe groups of men interacting, it's quite easy for me to figure out who's alpha and who isn't. But I wouldn't say there's a heavy dichotomy between alpha and beta. I'd say that most men are in-between.

I have a friend who's an alpha male. He is married. He is too classy a guy to ever have gone around bedding lots of women but he's always won respect from people easily because he is quite charismatic. Lots of women find him very charming and he'd probably have a lot of choice if he was available to them. He knows what he wants out of life and he goes for it and has the confidence behind it to make what he does achievable. I learnt a lot from him, which I'm quite thankful for. You don't get a lot of people who see what they want out of life of life and really go for it whilst managing to win the respect of everyone around them. I keep faltering but I try to follow his mindset because I can see how it brings him success. But just being alpha does not make a guy irresistible to all woman. Alphas get rejected, but they shrug it off and don't let it affect them at all. They don't go around telling people about it either. Solution: Do what you do but never reveal to people how you do it. People will admire you because there's more mystery to you. Alphas (male and female) are skilled at communicating with others. They are very successful but they are also good at selling themselves. They know when not to speak and they know how to build themselves up in the best possible way.



I'd say men do look up to other men but this is largely subconscious. It is difficult for me to pinpoint but it definitely happens.

Im an alpha male.

Id prove it to you, but im alpha, so I dont have to.

Therefore I am alpha.

1st rule of alpha. Don't speak about being an alpha.

2nd rule of alpha. If someone says they are alpha, they are not alpha.