Confused (girl trouble)

Well, its like this.

About 6weeks ago I started uni, and shortly after got to know a group people on my course, about 5 lads, and a girl, two of which live in the hall opposite the dept building, on the same corridor.
- And on a monday some of the group meet in one of other of there rooms to finish homework, before handing it in that afternoon. fair enough.

Then about two weeks ago the girl invited me back to her room to talk for a bit, and I agreed, thinking nothing at all of it at the time (duh?) But anyway, we where in her room talking on her bed when she started leaning on me and later on (say an hour) we where both lying down cuddling on her bed, and then she kissed me several times before we kissed 'properly' all of this was a bit of a suppress as I’d never really though about her like that before then.
- But from then on I though about her a lot, like all the time. And we’ve been talking and exchanging hug/kisses via msn ever since.
- Then a few days I later then went round to 'do some hwk' (her idea) and basically did the same again.
- And the next week I invited her to my room, and it happened again. ( :smile:

)
- Then on monday night she invited me to watch a dvd in her room, and we kissed/cuddled our way though ‘save the last dance’ Which again, I really enjoyed. And on the walk home I sent her a txt saying “I love you”.
- The day after that, she said nothing about the night, or the txt, but seemed fine otherwise, then this morning she wasn’t at the lecture, and when I started talking to her on msn after I got back she said "hey dan, its nothing to do with you, but I cant be in a relationship at the moment" to which I lamely replied "oh, ok" only to be asked is if was "ok with that" (to which I said something like "I guess so?")

Is that it? Have i just total blow it?
- We’ve talked briefly after that, during the next lecture, and a tiny bit on msn.

I don’t know what to do, I can stop thinking about her and its driving my crazy!

Daniel.

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Infact, thinking about it, she invited me to back to her hall after about the first week, which uptil now id almost completely forgotten about, we just talked a bit in the 'kitchen area' and then after about an hour I when back to my hall, and though nothing of it at all at all.

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Reply 1

acoustic-angel

theres not much you can do, she was probably freaked out by the "i love you".
just let her be for a bit and just go back to being her mate. she might cool down and realise that she had been stupid to freak out. you just dont know.

Reply 2

gigglybum

i guess you scared her with the "i love you" txt...besides, if anything you NEVER type those words via text!......its also a bit odd because she said "i can't be in a relationship at the moment"..meaning that you weren't even officially together and you said "i love you"....i REALLY think that scared her off......well for now just keep on talking to her.......

Reply 3

CherryGarcia

oh, Daniel...It must be hard for you now andhard...but I dont really know how to help you...if she doesnt want to be wiht you, nothing can make her do that...to help yourself you can just stop talking to her, looking at stuff that can remind her, just try to get rid of eveth that reminds her and try to gte rid of her in ur head, and stop talking to her for a while or u will suffer more...this is the only thing u can do for now i guess....I am really sorry, i know exactly how it feels =(

Reply 4

ZigZag

Perhaps the occasional kiss or cuddle was all she wanted, and the "I love you" suggested to her that you wanted more than that. Maybe she just doesn't want that level of commitment.

Reply 5

dhutch

acoustic-angel

theres not much you can do, she was probably freaked out by the "i love you".

Yeah, i though as much. :frown:

ZigZag

Perhaps the occasional kiss or cuddle was all she wanted, and the "I love you" suggested to her that you wanted more than that. Maybe she just doesn't want that level of commitment.

Yeah, i think that could also be quite true. Although to be quite honest, im quite happy with it staying at the "kisses and cuddles" leval.

I feel like such a fool, dam that still foolish text.

Reply 6

toiletwall

dw, Like said before, she was probably freaked out. Howvere i wouldn't give up hope yet. She was the one who initiated the kisses etc in the first place, and she wouldn't go completely off you because of a text like that. She probably still likes you, just thinks it's better to cool things off abit if she thought you were keen. Just when around her next act natural, and take things at her pace, 'cause then she'll realise what she's missing out on and hopefully stuff will work out :wink:

Reply 7

viviki

Do you really love her? After such a short period of time and not even dating?

I expect she was very freaked out I know I would have been.

Reply 8

Swinely

acoustic-angel

lol yeah i think the 'i love you' would do it, the second i read that i knew what was coming :P. Don't rush into things, you should have just said you liked her.

Reply 9

dhutch

Swinely

Don't rush into things, you should have just said you liked her.

Yeah i should.
I was really wasnt trying to rush anythink at all, it just seamed like a good idea at the time.
I guess i just wanted to let her know i really liked her, and 'liked' just sounded a little pathetic.

Dam it, im so rubbish at this whole thing.

Daniel

Reply 10

dhutch

Would it be worth trying to explan the text, and that was stupid, and i didnt mean to rush anything, and im sorry, and all that.
- Or would that just make it worse (im guess it might well)

If she ever mentions said text, would would be the best thing to do/say?

Daniel

Reply 11

viviki

dhutch

if you have to tell her anything tell her exactly that. At least its honest.

Reply 12

Wild Thing

Hey dan..just totally ignore everything...pretend nothing happened, act normal and never mention it. If she says anything jsut say u were drunk when u sent the text...what time of day did you send it?
Then if she wants to come back to you, you HAVE to play kinda hard to get otherwise she'll lose respect for you. Don't 'surrender' to her kissing anymore if she ever tries again. DOn't start the MSN conversations either.
Good luck :smile:

Reply 13

dhutch

So basical its a no, dont say anything.
- I send it while walking home from her room, is was not drunk, and ive just been with her for 3hours!

Then if she wants to come back to you, you HAVE to play kinda hard to get otherwise she'll lose respect for you. Don't 'surrender' to her kissing anymore if she ever tries again. DOn't start the MSN conversations either.

I guess that also make sence.

Thanks, Daniel

Reply 14

alio~

dhutch

So basical its a no, dont say anything.
- I send it while walking home from her room, is was not drunk, and ive just been with her for 3hours!

I guess that also make sence.

Thanks, Daniel

It sounds like she just really enjoys your company and wanted the challenge of gradually pulling you, but didn't expect you to come out with that and realised shes wants to be single and free.
From what you have said it seems like you were fairly laid back about everything but then suddenly jumped to 'I love you' :eek:

Your better not saying anything and just acting friendly.

Reply 15

Sheen

If i was her id be pretty freaked out if you told me you loved me by text and we werent even dating or anything and we haddnt even know eachother that long.
so i can understand why shes being the way she is...but im sure im time things will be fine.
she prob just needed someone to be there for her and someone she could spend some quaility time with....or maybe she does actaully like you in that way but wanted to take things slow and you saying that you loved her just killed it.
as i said id just see how things go and dont always be the one to make the effort to talk she shoudl make the effort too if she cares

Reply 16

Love_Hearts

im thinkin prehaps u scared her off by texting her the "i love you" message!
prehaps u should just talk to her

Reply 17

smoomoo

do you really love her?

Reply 18

SlyPie

dhutch

About 6weeks ago I started uni, and shortly after got to know a group people on my course, about 5 lads, and a girl, two of which live in the hall opposite the dept building, on the same corridor.
Which again, I really enjoyed. And on the walk home I sent her a txt saying “I love you”.

Is that it? Have i just total blow it?

Daniel.

No offense, but 6 weeks is an awfully short time and you barely know her it seems. You guys just make out...unless personalities osmote through saliva, it's ridiculous to tell someone you love them after just 6 weeks, and the latter of the 6 weeks was just physical. You really don't know each other at all.

You have definitely freaked her out and I'm guessing she will be distant to you from now on. But don't worry: you're probably not really in love with her so you will get over it very soon.