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Excessive Blushing is ruining my life

Hi

I'm 19 years old and I suffer from excessive blushing. For example, in my job I work in a fast food outlet and whenever I serve someone I know (male/female/family) I blush bright red. I'll also blush if I get the slightest idea that the person I'm serving is judging me or if there is a good looking girl.

It's starting to ruin my life, I see(serve) lots of people from my childhood and I really want to talk to them about what they are up to nowadays etc but I turn into this anti-social freek who will turn bright red. I will even start to shake and will keep my head down to try hide my blushing - but I know my actions alone which are caused by the blushing look obvious.

I've tried the whole "pretend your not going red" thing but it just doesnt help. Some people will read this and probably laugh, but this is making it extemely hard for me to socialise or find a girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend just down to the fact I'll go bright red straight away, then I'll start feel self concious and go even redder making me look like a dick.

Any help? :frown: Is there anything I can do to stop blushing?

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Reply 1
Avatar for Arnotts
Arnotts
This used to happen to me when I worked in retail. Probably would still be happening if I still worked in that area. I dont think I'd blush though but I would start shaking badly and had no idea what I was doing as my mind would be completely focused on the person making me nervous. Although like I said I dont work in the area anymore I still get nervous like that around certain people and the best advice I can give is to focus on slowly breathing deeply (without making it obvious thats what your doing.) It mightn't sound like good advice but it really worked for me. I used to hear that alot and thought how the hell is that going to help but it really calms you down after about 30 seconds. So keep trying.
Reply 2
Avatar for Jarlsberg
Jarlsberg
2
I think the best thing you can do is accept that you're going to blush a lot, but if you do so in a conversation just forget about it. People won't really care if you do that much, and eventually you'll come to accept that; once that happens you might stop blushing so much. But I think you shouldn't be embarressed about it :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

I'm 19 years old and I suffer from excessive blushing. For example, in my job I work in a fast food outlet and whenever I serve someone I know (male/female/family) I blush bright red. I'll also blush if I get the slightest idea that the person I'm serving is judging me or if there is a good looking girl.

It's starting to ruin my life, I see(serve) lots of people from my childhood and I really want to talk to them about what they are up to nowadays etc but I turn into this anti-social freek who will turn bright red. I will even start to shake and will keep my head down to try hide my blushing - but I know my actions alone which are caused by the blushing look obvious.

I've tried the whole "pretend your not going red" thing but it just doesnt help. Some people will read this and probably laugh, but this is making it extemely hard for me to socialise or find a girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend just down to the fact I'll go bright red straight away, then I'll start feel self concious and go even redder making me look like a dick.

Any help? :frown: Is there anything I can do to stop blushing?


:facepalm2:

Are you ever not blushing?
Original post by Aspiringlawstudent
:facepalm2:

Are you ever not blushing?


Wow, you're sensitive.

OP, I have exactly the same problem. Though the difference between you and I is that you have the guts to get a job, whereas I don't. Kudos to you.
It sounds like maybe it is something to do with self-esteem. It seems to be really affecting your life, so maybe you should go and see a doctor.
(edited 13 years ago)
I feel your pain, I have the same problem, although I have found that I've grown out of it a lot. I'm not sure what advice to give- I always used to wear green moisturiser under some foundation if I knew I had to do a presentation or something but I don't think that'll help much.The only other advice I can give you is to ignore it. I know it doesn't sound like much, but people are more understanding than you think and if you keep talking they should appreciate that you made the effort, instead of just clamming up. Or try going to your doctor, I'm not an expert but they're might be something they can do and you don't know unless you ask!
How old are you? My dad said he used to go bright red all the time until he was about 20 and it was the same for me!
You know, I used to have the exact problem as you, as everyone else has that have replied too. I used to get nervous in classes, blush constantly, even if someone started speaking to me or attention was reverted in my direction (some good, but mostly for the worst reasons).

I think your main issue here is you are feeling insecure, bashful or even embarrassed about your job. When I started working in McDonald's I kept worrying about what people would think of me if they seen me working there, so didn't tell any of the school mates apart from my close friends. When people who came in that were unaware I worked there, I started to blush, couldn't speak would get really nervous etc.

However, time is the healer. You just need to get used to the concept of people knowing you work there, and once you start talking to strangers as you would do in a restaurant, your confidence will increase and you'll no longer feel so nervous.
(edited 13 years ago)
Would you blush if SuBo was naked in front of you? :holmes:
I'm exactly the same. I used to blush every time anyone of the opposite sex, or anyone older than me spoke to me. My friends would notice and comment which would make me go even redder. Whenever I was picked on in class I would go bright red. I used to work in retail too and if anyone my age, or anyone I knew came to my till I would go bright red and couldn't think straight.

I'm still the same, blushing whenever anyone older speaks to me so I'm dreading if I go to Uni and I feel really intimidated by everyone. I'm getting better in my school lessons; if I don't think about it too much then I just about answer a question without feeling myself go completely red.

I don't have any advice, because, well if I did I wouldn't be in the same situation. I guess just try not to think about it too much, breath and look people in the eye, I find that helps, especially in school.
Oh I remember that, I used to get nervous about serving people I knew. The number of times I saw teachers was unbelievable! Made me messup and then have to call a manager because I'd scan twice and stuff. It is bad I know :frown: Infact I hate it just as much the other way around when I'm served by someone I know haha.
Reply 10
Avatar for ed_jnr
ed_jnr
1
I was a bit like this once. The best way to get rid of it is to stop caring. Just do everything and anything even if you're nervous you might blush. Who cares if you blush? A lot of girls may think it's cute even.

The more you can stop thinking about it and just get on with your life, the better. Don't think of doing this as an end goal to stop blushing, only as an end in itself. It's only a problem if you make it a problem.
This happens to me as well, and it is really annoying. Not all the time, but still fairly often and I wish there was some easy way to get rid of it. I'd say just not thinking about it at all helps a lot and it should eventually go away.
man, you think thats bad, try working in a clothes store as a guy, and having some hot chick put 20 sets of underwear on the counter. You then have to perform a very delicate balance of making sure you scan everything properly, while being cool and not excessively fondling the merchandise in case she thinks youre a rapist.
Yeah me too. I'm a really confident person and find it easy getting along with everyone at school, etc, but as I go to a girls school I don't know many guys so whenever I meet a new one I go bright red too. It's embarrassing because I don't have to like them for this to happen, but people take it to mean that I do. And then if I get picked on in class by the teacher I go bright red... and I'm just like why?? I'm not even embarrassed and I'm like a beetroot. Makeup doesn't even cover it. It just sucks. And there's only a certain number of times you can use the excuse of being "too hot" or remembering something embarrassing you did yesterday.
Reply 14
Avatar for gazzxc
gazzxc
1
Original post by Anonymous
Hi

I'm 19 years old and I suffer from excessive blushing. For example, in my job I work in a fast food outlet and whenever I serve someone I know (male/female/family) I blush bright red. I'll also blush if I get the slightest idea that the person I'm serving is judging me or if there is a good looking girl.

It's starting to ruin my life, I see(serve) lots of people from my childhood and I really want to talk to them about what they are up to nowadays etc but I turn into this anti-social freek who will turn bright red. I will even start to shake and will keep my head down to try hide my blushing - but I know my actions alone which are caused by the blushing look obvious.

I've tried the whole "pretend your not going red" thing but it just doesnt help. Some people will read this and probably laugh, but this is making it extemely hard for me to socialise or find a girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend just down to the fact I'll go bright red straight away, then I'll start feel self concious and go even redder making me look like a dick.

Any help? :frown: Is there anything I can do to stop blushing?


I ''was'' an excessive bluster for 18 years my problems were no different from all the others I have read over the years. I tried so many things to try and stop it even wearing frozen wrist coolers to try and keep my core temperature down. I know you are not going to want to hear this but there are no cream, no tablets etc nothing like this will help you, forget this rubbish about ignoring it, laughing about it, ''its cute'' BULLS*** its not cute its makes you look like a complete t**t I've tried it all and it dosent work THE PROBLEM IS YOU you just don't understand yet, but please read on. It got to a stage for me if I bumped in to a friend while I was out or even just looking someone in the eye when talking to them it would happen I then would look ignorant because I would make a stupid excuse to get away but then I came across something. I sure you all have had a '' please don't go red, please don't go red'' or ''stay calm'' moment in your own heads but then it happens anyway, this is what I meant when I said ''the problem is you'' and I will tell you why. I refused to read anything like this for years but it became my last resort so I understand if people stop reading on. I started learning about the subconscious mind and how powerful it is, I read a couple of books and got an understandings to be honest this made me twice as bad (once again please read on) because I was learning were my problem lied but new I couldn't control it. Some how I got on to subliminal messaging and learned a lot about it and realised THIS WAS THE KEY. subliminal messages was banned from tv and cinemas I think in the 90's because of how powerful it is at influencing the mind. You need to research this for yourself so you have an understanding of what it is about. Even when you are not in blushing situation you are thinking about it you just don't know it that is why it happens, trust me I'm an expert lol. I eventually came across a program that could download to my laptop which when I used my computer it flashed subliminal messages and pictures on the screen which the conscious mind can't even see but the subconscious mind can this is what makes the difference. You don't notice a difference but one day you will realise you had a moment when it should of happened but didn't that's when you notice there has been a change. If this can help me I believe it can help anyone. I have been using this for around 8 months and I would say I am 70% better than I was because I do still have moments now and then but I will overcome these aswell and I only use my laptop Mabe 4/5 hours a week. If you are going to do this research what I have wrote about and get a good understanding of how things work. Please ask my anything you like I will do my best to help. And don't buy off these idiots who say ''I was a blusher but not anymore give me £30 and I will tell you how'' bull**** you know if you had a cure you would tell people for free because you no how difficult it makes your own life.

I found this on google.
Both hypnosis and subliminal messaging intended to deliver messages to the subconscious mind in order to bring about changes in thoughts, behaviors, actions, attitudes, belief systems and value systems. The difference is hypnosis usually requires a conscious effort by the user to follow verbal instructions, while subliminal messaging does not.
I DO HAVE A CURE!!!! And I willing to tell you for FREE!! It's iodine. I have never met anyone who blushed as badly as me. I droppped out of uni because of it, and turned down promotions and avoided important events. If someone even looked in my direction RED RED RED!!! I am not a shy person, and did not have any social issues until I started to blush excessively at about 16 years old. I have lived with this for many years, and researched cures for many hours. I have read (and tried) just about every cure known to man. It has cost me a fortune. The solution is simple, cheap and fast acting. I use iodine drops - it cost about $13 a bottle which will last a very long time as I only use 2-3 drops a day. I am not saying that it will work for everybody, but it will work for some. One reason people blush easily is because of iodine deficiency - try it. If it does not work, it's only $13. Believe me I would have happily spent thousands to cure this. The only reason I am posting this is because I know how terrible this can be. I wish I had discovered this years ago. Hope this helps.
I used to blush all the time, get nervous and stutter especially when dealing with a complaint or someone irritating or attractive.

Eventually you learn to stop being so bothered when someone is complaining and shouting in your face but may not stop you blushing when you are attracted to someone.

Try not to attract attention to it. I just say I'm always rosy cheeked. When I'm pale it means I'm ill so people know when I'm a lil peaky.

You'll accept it soon enough. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous

Any help? :frown: Is there anything I can do to stop blushing?


I know how you feel. I am exactly the same (and I also work in retail).

Whenever someone I know walks into the store, I literally go into a panic and my face starts to feel hot and I got bright red. I avoid all eye contact and just serve them as quick as possible and pretend I don't know them. I hate it. It has ruined big parts of my social and professional life (I'm in my late 20s).

There are a few options:

- Relaxation techniques. Probably the best option tbh if you can master it enough for it to work. Someone mentioned breathing exercises which you can do and ways to interrupt your thought pattern (CBT). These are good options and should be tried. I've had a little success with them especially meditation which I try to practise daily. If you work in retail it is a really good idea to spend 10-20 mins when you finish just sitting with the eyes closed to settle your mind. Do this for a few weeks and see how much a difference it makes.
- Creams. There isn't a cream for blushing as such. But there are creams for rosacea (a skin condition which means the face is permanently a little red around the nose, cheek areas). Usually people with rosacea blush easily and vice versa.
- Medication. There are plenty of anti-anxiety drugs which can be prescribed by your doctor. They are called SSRI's and basically block the release of chemicals and stress hormones (mainly adrenaline I think?)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_serotonin_reuptake_inhibitor
- Surgery. There is a surgical procedure called ETS (endoscopic transthoracic sympathectomy) which cuts the nerve in the spine which causes the blushing reaction. It's quite controversial and pretty extreme and isn't generally recommended (especially for someone your age). Although it is an option as a last resort.

For me personally, I've tried to just manage it the best I can. From experience, I know some of the triggers which I now try to avoid like alcohol (I very rarely drink it at all and that's not a bad thing btw), excessively hot places, excessive sun exposure and certain social situations. I don't go to night clubs or crowded bars which seemed to set it off for me (anxiety in crowded places mainly). It has held me back socially to be honest and professionaly but it's something that I have and I can't help. I just do the best I can day to day and try to live my life to the best of my ability. It sucks, but it is manageable to a certain degree.

Also, it's best not to fight it. Get to know your colleagues and be genuine about yourself. If you are shy like me, don't act confident and false. Be yourself. People will get to know you and value you as part for who you are and what you offer to the team. When I start new jobs or meet new people there is always a lot of "you've gone so red" "Are you blushing?" etc and that makes it worse. Then they get to know me and just accept that I am shy and a little nervous around people but I do have other skills and qualities which I would like to think make me a good friend and employee.

Good luck. Hope this helps. :smile:
Some info on the surgery:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endoscopic_thoracic_sympathectomy
Reply 19
Avatar for camil
camil
Original post by gazzxc
I ''was'' an excessive bluster for 18 years my problems were no different from all the others I have read over the years. I tried so many things to try and stop it even wearing frozen wrist coolers to try and keep my core temperature down. I know you are not going to want to hear this but there are no cream, no tablets etc nothing like this will help you, forget this rubbish about ignoring it, laughing about it, ''its cute'' BULLS*** its not cute its makes you look like a complete t**t I've tried it all and it dosent work THE PROBLEM IS YOU you just don't understand yet, but please read on. It got to a stage for me if I bumped in to a friend while I was out or even just looking someone in the eye when talking to them it would happen I then would look ignorant because I would make a stupid excuse to get away but then I came across something. I sure you all have had a '' please don't go red, please don't go red'' or ''stay calm'' moment in your own heads but then it happens anyway, this is what I meant when I said ''the problem is you'' and I will tell you why. I refused to read anything like this for years but it became my last resort so I understand if people stop reading on. I started learning about the subconscious mind and how powerful it is, I read a couple of books and got an understandings to be honest this made me twice as bad (once again please read on) because I was learning were my problem lied but new I couldn't control it. Some how I got on to subliminal messaging and learned a lot about it and realised THIS WAS THE KEY. subliminal messages was banned from tv and cinemas I think in the 90's because of how powerful it is at influencing the mind. You need to research this for yourself so you have an understanding of what it is about. Even when you are not in blushing situation you are thinking about it you just don't know it that is why it happens, trust me I'm an expert lol. I eventually came across a program that could download to my laptop which when I used my computer it flashed subliminal messages and pictures on the screen which the conscious mind can't even see but the subconscious mind can this is what makes the difference. You don't notice a difference but one day you will realise you had a moment when it should of happened but didn't that's when you notice there has been a change. If this can help me I believe it can help anyone. I have been using this for around 8 months and I would say I am 70% better than I was because I do still have moments now and then but I will overcome these aswell and I only use my laptop Mabe 4/5 hours a week. If you are going to do this research what I have wrote about and get a good understanding of how things work. Please ask my anything you like I will do my best to help. And don't buy off these idiots who say ''I was a blusher but not anymore give me £30 and I will tell you how'' bull**** you know if you had a cure you would tell people for free because you no how difficult it makes your own life.

I found this on google.
Both hypnosis and subliminal messaging intended to deliver messages to the subconscious mind in order to bring about changes in thoughts, behaviors, actions, attitudes, belief systems and value systems. The difference is hypnosis usually requires a conscious effort by the user to follow verbal instructions, while subliminal messaging does not.





Hey, i really need help i am 14 years old and i'm always blushing when i talk to the opposite sex or when a teacher picks me or anything stupid and lets me think about it. It happened to me like 2 years ago and now i can't stop focusing about it. I found the trick to stop it: stop thinking about this **** but it's really hard. i want to try hypnosis mp3 download but the problem is that everithing have to be related to money and i can't buy anything because im too young. Evryone thinks that im a shy person cz i blush all the time but i really am not. And i realized that in the winter i rarely blush (especially in school) because the temperature of my body is cool and all i think is how to get warmer. PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP, blushing is ruining my life, if you have any site that contains free mp3 downloads or an audio book or anything, please tell me :frown:. (sorry for the bad english)

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