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Foo's Five Factors of Fraternisation with Female Folk

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  • View Poll Results: Which Factors Matter the Most?
    Experience
    23
    23.47%
    Confidence
    79
    80.61%
    Opportunity
    19
    19.39%
    Selection
    8
    8.16%
    Approach
    27
    27.55%

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    (Original post by un-jardin-sur-le-nil)
    I think what you wrote is pretty good.
    High praise indeed.

    (Original post by Chumbaniya)
    Given the alliteration in the title, I was quite disappointed to see that the factors listed all begin with different letters. I have no further input.
    That would've been a little OTT, even by my Mickey Mouse standards, but, just for you babes:

    1. Exposure/Experience

    2. Exuding egotism

    3. Exposure :mmm:

    4. Extricating the exceptionally enchanting

    5. Execution

    (Original post by redferry)
    Howabout just old fashioned being nice and friendly? I go for that every time over the rest of this bs, Especially if they make me laugh...
    Works for most, just that some lads need more of a 'leg-up'. Which part(s) do you consider "BS"?- feel free to voice any specific/constructive criticism aye :borat:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    High praise indeed.



    Works for most, just that some lads need more of a 'leg-up'. Which part(s) do you consider "BS"?- feel free to voice any specific/constructive criticism aye :borat:
    Well the confidence part in particular. The only confidence you need is the confidence to strike up a conversation.

    Also if you get hung up on these things and are constantly having to think about your body language and how it comes across you will just come across as a moron. Or if you're lucky just a bit on edge. Either is not great.

    Oh and another thing, a lot of people hate guys touching them.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Well the confidence part in particular
    In general, or the specifics of the sub-section? The scores of young women I've spoken to over the years have intimated that confidence is often the major make or break factor

    (Original post by redferry)
    Also if you get hung up on these things and are constantly having to think about your body language and how it comes across you will just come across as a moron
    Couldn't agree more. I did try to stress subtly/composure but you have to understand that this is a rudimentary guide intended primarily for lads who need a 'leg-up' onto the bottom rung

    (Original post by redferry)
    Oh and another thing, a lot of people hate guys touching them.
    1) Generally uptight girls are not the best place for such guys to start out anyway

    2) No girl wants some snorting munter coming over and touching them, but most feel a little buzz when an attractive, confident male hits this button and demonstrates dominance concomitantly

    3) Kino need not necessarily be used straight away; indeed outside of the club environment I would only nominally use it as a mode of 'escalation' once I'd picked up on certain other signs, if at all
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    How about:

    Demonstrate value
    Engage physically
    Nurture dependence
    Neglect emotionally
    Inspire hope
    Separate entirely
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    In general, or the specifics of the sub-section? The scores of young women I've spoken to over the years have intimated that confidence is often the major make or break factor

    Couldn't agree more. I did try to stress subtly/composure but you have to understand that this is a rudimentary guide intended primarily for lads who need a 'leg-up' onto the bottom rung

    1) Generally uptight girls are not the best place for such guys to start out anyway

    2) No girl wants some snorting munter coming over and touching them, but most feel a little buzz when an attractive, confident male hits this button and demonstrates dominance concomitantly

    3) Kino need not necessarily be used straight away; indeed outside of the club environment I would only nominally use it as a mode of 'escalation' once I'd picked up on certain other signs, if at all
    Well thats because the girls who dont like confident guys wouldn't get on with you surely? Biased sample there :P

    Just because you don't like someone touching you doesn't mean you are uptight, it just means you have some sort of concept of personal space. If a girl is attractive, she will get guys molesting her on a nightly basis. No-one likes that and it conditions them not to enjoy people touching you. Personally, I hate it. Especially the thing 'confident, attractive' guys do of coming up behind and placing their hands gently on your waist. Makes me feel sick. If the girl likes you she will initiate any contact. I think it's best avoided in general really from my perspective, but I guess it might work on girls who don't get much unwanted attention.
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    First of all - the confidence part.
    Most girls are wary of false confidence, which some men put on when they are interacting with a girl they think is out of their league. Most women can pick up on this intuitively, but it usually manifests itself as excessive cockiness or excessive teasing, and frequently can be read in his body language. Genuine confidence is an actual positive, and must be built up over time (worth mentioning that some men have it naturally or were raised to be confident with the opposite sex). False confidence is not necessarily a deal breaker if I already like the guy a lot and he has otherwise convinced me he is a high quality, but it is less than preferable.

    "Never treat a girl like she's super special". Well sure, if you're only looking to get laid, don't pretend like you're looking for someone special. But if you're actually looking for a girlfriend and you think a girl is special, she should know that. Attractive girls have been victim of 'game' for a long time. I simply don't bother with a guy if I'm sensing he's 'hot & cold', is playing hard to get or is juggling several women. That will all depend on how experienced a girl is and how many options she has. If you're dating below our league, you can allow yourself a lot.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    That would've been a little OTT, even by my Mickey Mouse standards, but, just for you babes:

    1. Exposure/Experience

    2. Exuding egotism

    3. Exposure :mmm:

    4. Extricating the exceptionally enchanting

    5. Execution
    Thanks, you're a sweetie.
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    I love TSR wanna-be PUAs.
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    (Original post by VeniViciVidi)
    I love TSR wanna-be PUAs.
    We love you too.
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    (Original post by The Troll Toll)
    How about:

    Demonstrate value
    Engage physically
    Nurture dependence
    Neglect emotionally
    Inspire hope
    Separate entirely
    For a troll you're rather good, although strictly speaking the highlighted constitute 'advanced strategy for the douchemeister', as opposed to 'tactics for the douchecadet'

    (Original post by redferry)
    Well thats because the girls who dont like confident guys wouldn't get on with you surely? Biased sample there :P
    I'm talking about a larger cross section than simply the women I have approached

    (Original post by redferry)
    Just because you don't like someone touching you doesn't mean you are uptight
    Hence I included the 2nd point, and note 'generally uptight' in the first one e.g. girls who are uptight about being touched/PDA in general

    (Original post by redferry)
    Especially the thing 'confident, attractive' guys do of coming up behind and placing their hands gently on your waist
    Never done this

    (Original post by redferry)
    If the girl likes you she will initiate any contact
    This thread is about being proactive, not sitting around gorping, waiting for the honies to come to you.. with most (attractive) girls you'll be waiting your whole life, trust me :rolleyes:

    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    Most girls are wary of false confidence, which some men put on when they are interacting with a girl they think is out of their league
    Yeap, I find it fairly offensive too. However, whilst I am not an advocate, even painfully obviously 'painted on' bravado does work on certain women (we've all seen it)

    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    Genuine confidence is an actual positive, and must be built up over time (worth mentioning that some men have it naturally or were raised to be confident with the opposite sex)
    I'm a believer in nurture over nature in this realm. I've known many guys who are confident in general (myself included), but most of us have had confidence with women grow, as we've grown older/gained experience :holmes:

    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    if you're actually looking for a girlfriend and you think a girl is special, she should know that
    Not:

    1) Straight away

    2) Until you've had the opportunity to accurately gauge her faculties

    3) Until you're in a position to phrase it in a balanced way that neither makes you look a sycophant nor devalues the compliment itself (e.g. in no way shape or form should it present as naked flattery)

    Even then, there is a danger (whether you like it or not, or think of this as reducing relationships to 'game playing' or not), that if you demonstrate relatively high value in a girl, and particularly a young girl e.g. owt approaching (one sided) reverence, they will start to milk it/take the piss :rolleyes:

    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    I simply don't bother with a guy if I'm sensing he's 'hot & cold', is playing hard to get or is juggling several women
    Quite right - infantile/manipulative streaks we can do without..

    (Original post by Chumbaniya)
    Thanks, you're a sweetie.
    Sweeter than you may know

    (Original post by VeniViciVidi)
    I love TSR wanna-be PUAs.
    This guide is about approaching forming new relations with women more generally, and in a slightly more organic/sustainable manner than most of that PUA waffle would allow
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    For a troll you're rather good, although strictly speaking the highlighted constitute 'advanced strategy for the douchemeister', as opposed to 'tactics for the douchecadet'

    I'm talking about a larger cross section than simply the women I have approached

    Hence I included the 2nd point, and note 'generally uptight' in the first one e.g. girls who are uptight about being touched/PDA in general

    Never done this

    This thread is about being proactive, not sitting around gorping, waiting for the honies to come to you.. with most (attractive) girls you'll be waiting your whole life, trust me
    Yeah but for someone who is self-confessedly cocky, girls who dislike overconfidence are not going to talk to you. And believe me theres quite a lot of us out there.


    Not liking PDAs is a positive quality in anyone in my eyes =\ nothing to do with being uptight, just an appreciation of privacy and a respect for others around them.

    Yeah well you still have to be proactive by approaching them, just let them initiate any physical contact.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    For a troll you're rather good, although strictly speaking the highlighted constitute 'advanced strategy for the douchemeister', as opposed to 'tactics for the douchecadet'
    Evidently you don't understand MEN STUFF.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Yeah but for someone who is self-confessedly cocky, girls who dislike overconfidence are not going to talk to you. And believe me theres quite a lot of us out there
    Where in my guide have I extolled the virtues of being overconfident or cocky? :holmes: For the record I usually tone my cockiness down, at least to begin with :awesome:

    (Original post by redferry)
    Not liking PDAs is a positive quality in anyone in my eyes =\
    Most girls find (appropriate) PDAs perfectly normal, charming and reassuring People with PDA issues have.. well.. issues

    (Original post by redferry)
    Yeah well you still have to be proactive by approaching them, just let them initiate any physical contact
    I don't think we're going to see eye to eye on this one.. most girls like a guy who makes his presence felt in more ways than one, albeit fleeting/discrete physicality at first

    (Original post by The Troll Toll)
    Evidently you don't understand MEN STUFF.
    I don't concern myself too much with men stuff, prefer to focus on womenz
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Where in my guide have I extolled the virtues of being overconfident or cocky? :holmes: For the record I usually tone my cockiness down, at least to begin with :awesome:

    Most girls find (appropriate) PDAs perfectly normal, charming and reassuring People with PDA issues have.. well.. issues

    I don't think we're going to see eye to eye on this one.. most girls like a guy who makes his presence felt in more ways than one, albeit fleeting/discrete physicality at first

    I don't concern myself too much with men stuff, prefer to focus on womenz
    You haven't, you have just admitted to me in the past that you are :P

    Its not PDA issues, it's appreciating that no-one wants to see people being all over each other in public I'd call that being kind and thoughtful personally.

    Well I can only speak for the girls I know, but I know most really do not appreciate guys they do not know touching them...
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    (Original post by redferry)
    You haven't, you have just admitted to me in the past that you are :P
    I don't claim to be Mr. Perfect hun.. "I have my own unique appeal" and isn't to everyone's tastes but you know.. I get by

    (Original post by redferry)
    appreciating that no-one wants to see people being all over each other in public
    'Kino' ranges from things like a simple soft, fleeting touch of a girl's forearm, or gently grazing your cheek against hers when you go to speak into her ear in the club..

    I always try to be respectful of other peoples' sensitivities re: PDA in daytime/public spaces, and particularly on the bus/tube etc as other people can't exactly move/look away
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    (Original post by sweeter than a cherry pie)
    This isn't necessarily true
    It may not be necessarily true but from another person's POV there's always the 'danger' that it could be true of their partner. Hence I prefer to err on this of caution in this respect until I've established:

    1) A healthy, and/or advantageous, relationship dynamic / 'balance of power' (depending upon the relationship)

    2) What the core character of the person I'm involved with is (see below)

    (Original post by sweeter than a cherry pie)
    I never took advantage of the way I was perceived, nor took the piss in any way
    You benefit from maturity and an angelic disposition, whereas others often lack either, particularly at around your age
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    Some tips on how to go from small talk to tickling her fancy:

    Be flirtatious, fun/playful, don't afraid to be a little random - most girls love it when you engage their inner giddy/giggly schoolgirl and they have permission to let go

    However, don't be a jester, do be direct, and pick the right moment to:

    • Turn up the heat with non-verbal communication *

    • Enter an overtly sexual/dominant 'frame'

    * Body language, positioning, eye contact, and subliminal signalling e.g. picture yourself making out with her shortly - girls can often kind of read this in your eyes
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    Pretty good standard advice in the first post, the only disagreement I'd have is "don't approach stunners" and stay "in your league". I think that's a negative thought pattern. The whole "out of ten" system is flawed in that it ignores any subjectivity in perception of attractiveness. There's no reason not to, I always think "she rejects everyone, so there's nothing to lose". And thinking there's a class of women too good for you to even speak to is a very negative mindset.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Pretty good standard advice in the first post, the only disagreement I'd have is "don't approach stunners" and stay "in your league"
    Ta. To begin with it's best for most lads to gain confidence/social skills without the added weight of higher stakes/princess attitudes

    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    The whole "out of ten" system is flawed in that it ignores any subjectivity in perception of attractiveness
    Yes they are somewhat subjective when it comes to girls (not nearly as much as they appear to be with guys' looks), and there is also the effect of relativistic preference formation, but the fact is, whether all guys can agree on precisely how hot they are or not, most attractive girls tend to have a 'hot and they know it' attitude, having had the relevant level of compliments/approaches ~ particularly in the digital age now such girls get bummed constantly on fb etc :rolleyes:

    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    "she rejects everyone, so there's nothing to lose"
    Haha, good attitude. Mine is more "she's just another wench; if she blows me off it's either her loss or we simply aren't a good match"

    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    And thinking there's a class of women too good for you to even speak to is a very negative mindset
    Hopefully that wasn't the messaged conveyed in the OP!
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    • Out and about (daygame)

    • Through friends

    • Through workplace/class

    • Through extra curricular clubs/groups/societies

    • At gigs or other entertainment/cultural events

    • Online non-dating websites e.g. TSR, Gumtree etc

    • Online meetup communities

    • Online dating (effort:reward ratio is dire)

    • Speed dating (never tried)
    Just posted these up in another Fred, for any guys who are short on ideas or not super keen on meeting girls in bars/clubs

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