[TotoMimo]

We can't all be Michel Roux Jr every day. Some days, we try to be. Other days, we end up as some kind of retarded Heston Blumethal, trying out brave (EDIT: idiotic) recipe ideas that turn out disgusting.

Sometimes it's not on purpose. Sometimes just a simple oversight or laziness that can yield these hilarious failures.

And sometimes, it's something outwith your control, an act of god, the mighty deity intent on having a bit of a hee-haw at your expense.


I shall start us off with two of my own; both pizza-related, incidentally!

Neither are elaborate tales of food failures, but failures nonetheless. The first was just plain stupid ignorance. I'd fired up the oven, popped open my cheap supermarket pizza box, and literally just tipped the frozen pizza straight onto the tray in the oven, chucked the box, closed the oven door, and went straight back to playing my Gamecube.

After twenty minutes, I went back into the kitchen to the foulest smell ever. God knows how I didn't notice it beforehand. Upon opening the oven door, the smell was UNBEARABLE. Oh, yeah, I forgot to inspect my pizza before chucking it in the oven...



Some pizzas come wrapped in plastic.

The second story was through personal stupidity too. Now, I have a confession - I personally LOVE the taste of pizza when it's been microwaved. You know those cheapy value cheese and tomato pizzas? They're amazing done in the microwave. They remind me of the old "Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles Pizzas" that came in packs of ten, each the size of a small saucer, packaged in a cylinder formation (those of you who've had them will experience similar love for their cheap, simplistic brilliance).

Well anyway, at the time, Frescetta pizzas



were on special, so I'd gotten one and fired it in the microwave. What I neglected to notice is that these are the variety that feature part-baked, "rise in the oven", almost RAW dough, as you all know. What ensued was the most ****ing ridiculous doughy mess I have ever encountered, strewn across the floor and walls of my microwave. Needless to say a flatmate dared me to "try it", but I respectfully declined.


Okay, YOUR TURN, GUYS!

PS, Whoever posts first is the King/Queen of the Galaxy, and wins a bar of Galaxy.
You'll have to pay for yourself, but hey - you deserved it. Plus you can afford it.

You're King/Queen of the Galaxy.

[CapnHooch]

Managed to put a box of cereal in the toaster one morning, when I was really ill.

Eugh.
RIP Toaster. (2005-2010)

[spacepirate-James]

You post way too many of these threads

Spoiler:

Show

lol jk, I only posted to be king of the galaxy.

EDIT: NO ALAS. DAMN YOU HEATHEN POSTER ABOVE. DAMNATION AND SMITE THEE.

[shorty.loves.angels]

(Original post by TotoMimo)
We can't all be Michel Roux Jr every day. Some days, we try to be. Other days, we end up as some kind of retarded Heston Blumethal, trying out brave (EDIT: idiotic) recipe ideas that turn out disgusting.

Sometimes it's not on purpose. Sometimes just a simple oversight or laziness that can yield these hilarious failures.

And sometimes, it's something outwith your control, an act of god, the mighty deity intent on having a bit of a hee-haw at your expense.


I shall start us off with two of my own; both pizza-related, incidentally!

Neither are elaborate tales of food failures, but failures nonetheless. The first was just plain stupid ignorance. I'd fired up the oven, popped open my cheap supermarket pizza box, and literally just tipped the frozen pizza straight onto the tray in the oven, chucked the box, closed the oven door, and went straight back to playing my Gamecube.

After twenty minutes, I went back into the kitchen to the foulest smell ever. God knows how I didn't notice it beforehand. Upon opening the oven door, the smell was UNBEARABLE. Oh, yeah, I forgot to inspect my pizza before chucking it in the oven...



Some pizzas come wrapped in plastic.

The second story was through personal stupidity too. Now, I have a confession - I personally LOVE the taste of pizza when it's been microwaved. You know those cheapy value cheese and tomato pizzas? They're amazing done in the microwave. They remind me of the old "Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles Pizzas" that came in packs of ten, each the size of a small saucer, packaged in a cylinder formation (those of you who've had them will experience similar love for their cheap, simplistic brilliance).

Well anyway, at the time, Frescetta pizzas



were on special, so I'd gotten one and fired it in the microwave. What I neglected to notice is that these are the variety that feature part-baked, "rise in the oven", almost RAW dough, as you all know. What ensued was the most ****ing ridiculous doughy mess I have ever encountered, strewn across the floor and walls of my microwave. Needless to say a flatmate dared me to "try it", but I respectfully declined.


Okay, YOUR TURN, GUYS!

PS, Whoever posts first is the King/Queen of the Galaxy, and wins a bar of Galaxy.
You'll have to pay for yourself, but hey - you deserved it. Plus you can afford it.

You're King/Queen of the Galaxy.

Oh. My. God.

Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle Pizzas I sooo remember them! And I know exactly what you mean about that comparison to microwaveable pizzas It just reminds me of being 6 and eating them with potato waffles, alphabet chips or smiley face potatoes Plenty of ketchup of course!

I hungry now

[HotCookieDough]

[Normandy114]

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sear...&starteronly=1

So you just REALLY like food

[ktlaurenroe]

Eating pizza while drunk, not particularly concentrating. Burning hot cheese slid off and onto my chin, burned it pretty badly, left a mark that stayed for few weeks...

[EatRainbows]

I put a saucepan of soup in the microwave. The saucepan had plastic on it, it caught on fire. No more microwave ):

[cz100]

I almost did the same thing, except I only left the cardboard base of the frozen pizza still on so it ended up being stuck on the bottom of the pizza.
And there was the time I left the spatula thing in a hot pan whilst making omelette, and part of the plastic melted... the omelette ended up being covered in black liquid plastic juice.

[limetang]

Me and my friend tried making fudge (just out of a whim) anyway we followed the instructions and then thought after a while, oh **** maybe we've cooked that too long, maybe it'll be like toffee instead of fudge. So we added milk, now this strangely enough did not make it softer and more fudge like but instead turned our liquid tofee into sugary sand.

I'm still puzzled as to how that worked.

[rofflewaffle]

I discovered that, even when you're incredibly tired, there is no possibility that bread will become toast when put in the kettle.

[PapaShmurff]

I love these threads

I remember wanting to melt some chocolate so just stuck it in a bowl and stuck it in the microwave for 30 seconds. I walk off and when i come back in the kitchen is full of smoke and the chocolate is burnt and shrivelled up. I have no idea how that happened/ didn't taste very good either

[tite23]

I was with a group of friends at a pizza place, we were having a contest to see who could refrain from laughing while we all did goofy stuff. So I took my slice of hot, lava-like cheese pizza, and mimed throwing it at my own face.
Well, it somehow jumped out of my hand and nailed me right in the face, wrapping scalding hot cheese all over my cheeks and causing the entire table to erupt in laughter.
At least I won the contest :-/

[amsie/]

I tried to make fairy cakes, but they came out as rock cakes

[Stargazer23]

Not strictly a food fail, more cooking fail.
Can't remember what I was making, but I left the wooden spoon next to it on the cooker... yeah, spoon on fire

[No Man]

I put a microwave meal for to long. The box almost melted.

[brokenangel]

Not mine but dad - microwave pizza in the oven = rock solid pizza

[Niall2407]

About two years ago, I crashed out at a mates house after a night out. The next morning, being a good host, he offered me breakfast of bacon on toast. To cook the bacon, he put the bacon in the microwave for three minutes and then declared them cooked they came out all soggy and looked disgusting never ate it and never stayed at his house again

When I asked him as to who had taught him to cook bacon like that, he said his mum and that she does it all the time how she hadn't killed her kids with uncooked meat is beyond me

[lukas1051]

What a perfect time to find this thread, I just this second cooked myself an omelette.



Mmmmmn, salmonella.

[Vitamin D]

My First Experience With a Bagel:
Didn't understand how it worked.
Ate it raw.