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Another "I'm ridiculously heartbroken and can't see the future" thread

I can't eat, I can't sleep. I have no desire to do anything at all. The only thing I want is for him to realise he's made a massive mistake. I don't understand how I can be feeling so strongly if he doesn't. And annoyingly I think he does because the way he acts around me doesn't match the things he says as reasons for wanting to break up.

I just can't believe I let myself fall in so deep. I honestly thought this time it was different, that we were gonna last. I can't imagine not. That wasn't an option, which is so unlike me, I'm normally pretty cynical about stuff.

I know that to get over him I just need to cut myself off, not see him, distract myself. Problem is I don't want to. I'm still at the stage where I can't imagine being with anyone else, the world just looks grey without him. I can't stop remembering the good times and to be they were all good times. I don't understand how I could enjoy them so much.

I don't know where to go from here. I can't concentrate on uni, can't be bothered with people or hobbies. I feel sick all the time. Tired but I can't sleep. Nothing matters anymore.

I don't even know what help I want.... I want him back that's the only thing that will fix this. But he just says he doesn't feel the same way, doesn't see us going anywhere anymore. I don't understand because I feel the opposite. :frown:

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Reply 1

Zethran

I was like this a couple of days ago but I think I'm finally over my ex..., but basically I can't really give you any advice except "man/woman up and get over it", forget about him, he's not worth it, you'll find someone better, etc.

Go and spend time with your friends, talk through it with them. Go out, that helps - Its actually easier for a woman whose interested to get on a guy in a club than vice versa. Might distract you.

TLDR: A combo of controlling yourself and do whatever you find fun to distract yourself.

Reply 2

Coldplaydoh

anon fail Perhaps?

You need to cut all ties. You need acceptance first then to block it out.

If youre not harsh with yourself by accepting this, you might be thinking you will get him back for years and years. You need to move on. I know its hard being at that stage where you still dont want to start getting over him, and who could blame you, but the sooner you accept, the sooner youll be happy again. Its a gross cliche, but plenty more fish and though you think now that youll never love anyone else, you definitely will. Far too young to call self a writeoff, imo

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Just the old problem of "I want that fish." He's been such a big part of my life for so long. So much I do was inspired by him or encouraged by him.

Reply 4

KJane

I think what your feeling is natural.

When my best friend broke up with her boyfriend after two years I had to see him heartbroken because we were at sixth form together while she was at college. He would sit next to me depressed and when he talked it would to be only to tell me how much he was hurting, he told me once he wasn't going to look for another girlfriend ever again, then he changed it to 'until he was 27' (he was 17 at the time.) and get everything out the way.

He couldn't concentrate on his work either and gave up on it, he failed his AS's because of his 'what's the point anymore attitude.' and ended up having to leave and go to college. He was so depressed he brought me and my friends down just by being near him and the worst part is that his ex kept stringing him along and cheating with him on her following three boyfriends. He's only just got a new girlfriend, over a year after his ex broke up with him.

Moral of the story? You will eventually move on, time heals all wounds as they say and perhaps you should throw yourself into work rather than giving up on it. You may think there's no point now, but it does get clearer in the future.

Reply 5

no_one001

Original post by noobynoo

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

This is brilliant! Well done sir. I just sang the whole song out loud. :biggrin:

Reply 6

DarkSenrine

I couldn't really give less of a **** if I tried.

Reply 7

Oh my Ms. Coffey

Original post by Anonymous

Because your a girl, and weak.

Reply 8

Blueflare

It will get easier with time.

Reply 9

Coldplaydoh

Original post by Oh my Ms. Coffey

Because your a girl, and weak.

hahaha good luck with your pursuit of women.

Reply 10

fredscarecrow

Set yourself time-targets. Say 'in a week, I'll see how I feel' 'in two weeks I'll see how I feel' etcetc. Write on that day, and only that day how you're feeling. By giving yourself time-targets, you'll be amazed how fast time passes, and how much it heals.
One of the worst things of a breakup is feeling like time has stopped and you've eternity in front of you with nothing in it. By showing that time is passing and you're getting better, whether slowly or fast, you'll realise that isn't true.
Make sure you fill up your time with work, and friends. Socialise. Watch TV. Go on days out. Take up that hobby which got left by the wayside when you started spending more time with him. Remind yourself of the life you had before, and how good it was.
Make sure you cut all ties with him , as far as possible [i.e. if he's in the same friendship group it's harder, but make sure you're not left alone with him]. Don't give in to the temptation to text him, or phone him when drunk. Put his number under a different name in your phone so you don't automatically go to it.
Remember that it's not going to be easy, but that doesn't mean it's going to be hopeless. The best thing is time. YOu honestly feel like you can't cope, but in 6months, you'll be coping much better so long as you help yourself along by trying not to think about him and making sure you're living life to the full. He's ruined things this much now, what right does he have to steal the next 2 weeks, 6months, year etc from you by making you so sad you can't enjoy life. Show him how strong you are by getting back up and getting on with things.

Reply 11

humble_bumble

Time is the best healer. :smile:

Just stay strong, might be so hard right now, I know how you feel. Just do your best to keep smiling about other things in your life, other people can make you happy. Just because he has gone, does not mean your life is ending.

Someone better shall come along one day and make you realise maybe he was not the right person. :smile:

Reply 12

TheRealDarthVader

Darth Vader has recently been crushed, and has now taken a lot of mental kicks in the balls. I have also found out how ironic and cruel life can be, almost as if something is controlling everything around you, and shaping it up to make you look and feel like an idiot.

Right now things feel like they can't get any worse. In the past few weeks things have become worse and worse. The very thing that started it has now become obsolete, making everything I have been through recently pointless and avoidable. Now, as a broken man, all there is to do is laugh. Life has thrown all this crap at me, tripped me, beaten me, and taken a dump on my head, but for some reason, I'm still here.

I'm still standing. I may be limping for a long time, but something much greater than I decided to test me and push me to my limits, and I have come through it. I wish I didn't have to deal with any of it, but life does that to you sometimes.

Now take this advice, and don't tell anyone that Darth Vader told you. I need to keep up my street cred.

Laugh. Do all that you can to laugh. Whether it is a silly giggle or you wet yourself while shaking into a frenzy. If you can't laugh, there is no point in trying to live your life. Lean on your friends and family. They are there for you, like you are there for them. Talk to people about your problems. A larger audience adds larger perspective, something which is invaluable. Anyone who is willing to lend an ear will do.

I know it is brief, but I hope it helps.

And fear the Dark Side and stuff.

Reply 13

Oh my Ms. Coffey

Original post by isawsparks89

hahaha good luck with your pursuit of women.

Real men dont need luck.

Reply 14

hanaalou

we've all been there!!honestly gets easier as time goes on :smile:

just don't see/speak to him because if you do you'll just read into stuff and keep thinking you might get back together!good luck

Reply 15

Oh my Ms. Coffey

Original post by isawsparks89

hahaha good luck with your pursuit of women.

Son if your gonna neg me ill neg you twice as hard.

Reply 16

JenKat

I echo what everyone else is saying about how you need to just distract yourself and keep yourself busy. It will eventually get better.

The thing from your post that stands out to me is that, and I know it's far easier to say than to do, there's no point wasting your time obsessing over and yearning for someone who does not care for you the way you do for them. Getting back with him wouldn't solve anything as you already know he no longer reciprocates your feelings. You need to stay strong and believe that you deserve someone who will love you back.

Reply 17

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by Anonymous

Why would you want to be with someone who is making you feel so bad?

You got a brain, use it. Obviously this isn't nice, and if he is making you feel this **** then its obviously not worth wasting feelings/time on him.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 18

tinshed

this might sound slightly different but it works. take some blank paper and write a story about a girl (you) who fell in love with a guy (him), they broke up (so that will be how you are feeling now so so far your real story) but then make the girl find an amazing guy and let that guy be the man of her dreams and let the story end with a happy ending.

Reply 19

Indiestuglett

I don't understand why people say change your life when your weak asf and literally broken tbh the best thing to do is just wait and soon you WILL realise he/she is a **** and when your completely over him/her they come running back they always do!!! and literally it's there turn to feel like ****. Just smile through it and it will get easy but slowly I mean slowly I'm being completely honest I'm not just saying this to make any of yous happy it will take years months or weeks I don't know it depends how strong your relationship was but talk to him/her but only once and tell him/her how you feel because maybe your breakup is fixable and happily back together but if him/her show no interest back why should you? It is so hard to delete all the photos deleting everything basically it's hard to forget the Parent meeting going on holidays or whatever but when you do move on you will always still have that same feeling for him/her forever just a little bit don't hold on to the promises and lies what he or she told you. just cry because it does help honestly my break up was horrible but I really hope you guys will get through this because it's the most horrible thing to go through by yourself but the get thing to do is chat with your friends thats been through the same or your mum don't get depressed because that one person doesn't love you anymore be happy because you had a chance to go through it and know what to do next!!!!! I know your thinking I don't want a new boyfriend or girlfriend but you will and you be so happy promise you! One day you look back at yourself and laugh thinking "why was I so upset over him/her" you will think of this as a massive joke! I really hope this help to be honest when I get told stuff like this I just ignore it but don't ignore it because if you ignore it won't help you at all just lay In bed listen to ed sheeran, nina nesbitt or Adele or anyone that write about love ad break ups because they do have a story in the lyrics and you will compere it to your story and it does says things in there that does make you feel abit relief. don't speak to the person you broke up with or show any contact that you still love him\her but do it once like I said only do it once maybe your break up might of been a mistake! If you show anymore contact that you love him\her they could play you and hurt you much more!! Delete her or him off Facebook tumblr Instagram kik snapchat number or anything like that then you can't get to them but if they want you back they can get to you. It will take time very slow time I'm not lying but you will get through this even if your just broken so much no matter what you will get through this! Post cute pictures of yourself take pictures with boys/girls to make out you don't need them and happy of being single get new cloths get cute things done to you and hang around where they hang around and make out your having a good time but really I know it's hurts but trust me it will work because when I did stuff like that my ex kept hugging me trying to kiss me but don't respond back because he/her will still know you need them and they will stop just walk away and go somewhere else with your mates make out your seeing someone new and trust me they will get jealous but they try not to show. If he/her get into a new relationship just think this So when you’re holding her/him But it doesn’t feel the same,When your life starts to hurt,You’re the one to blame.When you’re chasing love,
But it’s run away. Just remember you let go. Now what’s the point in trying? Just wasting time and lying. I’ve set me free. If that doesn't work speak to someone new and TRY it with then it will take slow to gain feelings for them. Or maybe he/her isn't really in a new relationship him/her just saying they are to make you jealous??? When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive *truth* Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul And it's the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier, Remember that with every piece of you can be fixed if you try. losing your lover is hard I really know it trust me when I say it. It's like losing your best friend your family your half of you and your heart and it hurts omg it's hurts so much I cry myself to sleep every night and I think back what did I do wrong? DONT blame it on yourself it's the worst thing to do think of it as a good thing I know it's crazy but just think because if anything in the future happened like your first break up you know what to do to move on!. Let's talk about your heart it's literally like peroxide on your hurt it's burning breaking and dying YOUR NOT DYING it does seem your whole world is over it isn't over don't think about suicide because you will get other it soon your strong your honestly strong you will get through this no matter how long it will take but you will there point for ending your life because some stupid girl/boy broke up with you? Because you will get many more in the future. I hope this help guys.