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I've had enough of life, what now?

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    • Thread Starter
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    I'm 19 and i've been on Citalopram for about 5 months now. The doctor upped my dose yesterday to 40mg. I feel so depressed sad and suicidal now :'(
    I feel as if everyone hates me i can't even talk to them without wanting to cry. I have no friends and i'm supposed to go out tonight but i have nobody to go out with.
    I've seriously had enough of being alive. I just cannot go on what should i do. I can't even cry as much as i want to.
    Everybody just goes out without telling me and i feel left out. I have no one to live next year so i'm staying in halls again. I honestly have nobody to talk to. My mum is against Anti depressant because they make things worse and poison you apparently. My sister hasn't spoken to me in about 3 years. I tries talking to my only friend and he just laughed at me. Basically i can't talk to my family.
    I've tried the Samaritans about 3 times before and they're no use. They just repeat everything back to me. To make matters worse we break up for Easter in 2 weeks and i absolutely DETEST going back home. Everything is just so negative nobody talks to each other.
    What should i do because i just don't see the point in going on anymore.
    Please help me because i seriously don't see why i am alive as it feels like i'm just suffering for no reason.
    HELP ??
    • Thread Starter
    #1

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    Bro i feel for you. Isn't there anybody you can talk to at all?
    • 2 followers
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    Aww look just hang in there. I've been there before, and things will pick up eventually. I know it's difficult to believe, but please don't do anything rash. Why can't you talk to your family?
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    Look, i know things look bad right now but you can change things. Ive been where you are, ive ended up in a womens refuge because of my mum, ive tried to commit suicide, ive had a miscarriage after my ex trying to 'cut the baby out of me' with a throwing axe, i barely see my baby brother because he is so depressed and screwed up hes been commited to a hospital for 2 years at the age of 15.
    Im 20 & now have a flat privately renting with my boyfriend and our daughter who is 10months old and im looking into picking up my childcare courses again...
    No matter how bad things feel at the moment you will get there in the end, you need to start fresh, go out shopping treat yourself to some new clothes, be yourself, gain some confidence and try to make friends, go clubbing, so what if your on your own, just enjoy life.
    I ended up halfway across the country and somehow i made friends just by sitting in a pub sipping a coke.
    Feel free to message me on here if you need to talk
    Nobody should feel like this, unfortunately at times we do & sometimes just a rant at someone out of the situation can help.

    Its the little things you do that can change your whole life around
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ZizziHikaru)
    Why can't you talk to your family?
    Because they never understand !
    My mum has never listened to me whenever i speak. She TELLS me how I'M feeling instead of listening.
    My sister might as well be dead. She didn't even wanna come with me to Uni on my first day, my mum practically had to BEG her.
    I don't live with my dad anymore and he too might as well be dead as he's more useless than a chocolate kettle.
    I don't really have any friends and there's only one person from secondary school who i keep in touch with although i don't trust him a lot plus he's a bit of a blabbermouth.

    In fact the only people who really know the true extent of what i'm going through are those who've read my anonymous posts that i've made on various websites.
    Sad or what eh?
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    :console: I kinda know how you feel. Well, I've never been suicidal or let on anti-depressants, but I have been quite depressed for the past few years. Lately, I have been starting to feel a bit better, just by trying to think a different way. There's always others worse off than you, and if this feels like your lowest point, you can really go up from here.

    Just think: what makes you happy? Or, what would make you happy? When you know, try to work towards it. I know this sounds vague but I don't know you or your personality and wants. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 19 and i've been on Citalopram for about 5 months now. The doctor upped my dose yesterday to 40mg. I feel so depressed sad and suicidal now :'(
    I feel as if everyone hates me i can't even talk to them without wanting to cry. I have no friends and i'm supposed to go out tonight but i have nobody to go out with.
    I've seriously had enough of being alive. I just cannot go on what should i do. I can't even cry as much as i want to.
    Everybody just goes out without telling me and i feel left out. I have no one to live next year so i'm staying in halls again. I honestly have nobody to talk to. My mum is against Anti depressant because they make things worse and poison you apparently. My sister hasn't spoken to me in about 3 years. I tries talking to my only friend and he just laughed at me. Basically i can't talk to my family.
    I've tried the Samaritans about 3 times before and they're no use. They just repeat everything back to me. To make matters worse we break up for Easter in 2 weeks and i absolutely DETEST going back home. Everything is just so negative nobody talks to each other.
    What should i do because i just don't see the point in going on anymore.
    Please help me because i seriously don't see why i am alive as it feels like i'm just suffering for no reason.
    HELP ??
    I understand your situation, about 1.5 years ago I was depressed (had been for about 18 months) and I tried to kill myself.

    To be honest, and I don't like to admit this, although university is going very well etc I do feel like I should have a small dose of antidepressants because I've been feeling abit low over the past month or two.

    If you want to PM me, then do so.

    Things will get better.
    #2

    Life is hard OP, thankless, and as Macbeth said:

    And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
    The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
    Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.


    However, there is such joy to be had in the world. I'm not going into my circumstances, but if even I can find joy then believe me there is hope for you.
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    Please please hang in there I swear things will get better. I have been depressed on two seperate occasions now, and i've had a lot of the feelings you have spoken about. But, i'm still here, and ready to prove those who ever doubted me and thought i was useless, wrong. Feel free to PM me if you want I understand, promise.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 08batee)
    Please please hang in there I swear things will get better. I have been depressed on two seperate occasions now, and i've had a lot of the feelings you have spoken about. But, i'm still here, and ready to prove those who ever doubted me and thought i was useless, wrong. Feel free to PM me if you want I understand, promise.
    Thank you that's really comforting and sometimes when i'm feeling normal for like 2 minutes or whatever, the thought of proving people wrong is what keeps me going.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you that's really comforting and sometimes when i'm feeling normal for like 2 minutes or whatever, the thought of proving people wrong is what keeps me going.
    I'm glad I know it's a bit cliched and easy to ignore, when people tell you 'things will get better' when they don't know your situation fully...especially when you have dark and desperate thoughts and feelings, its hard to believe anything ever will. But, things gradually get more bearable, in time. Please just take each day as it comes, and prove everyone out there wrong! Stay strong. x
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    I want to come give you a massive hug, where are you...
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by rawwwwr!)
    I want to come give you a massive hug, where are you...
    In the beautiful valleys of South Wales

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Updated: March 19, 2011
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