Urgent help please! Just found out I've been cheated on

Hi everyone,

I've just found out my partner of three years has cheated on me, maybe even multiple times with multiple women. There's no one I can talk to, so pathetically I'm turning here for help and advice. I've found out literally in the last 15 minutes, my heart is all fluttery and I'm shaking. I'm in shock, I can't believe he would do this to me. :frown:

Any help, advice, support or anything would be appreciated.
Thank you

Reply 1

Naomiimoan

3

Original post by Anonymous

Hi everyone,

I've just found out my partner of three years has cheated on me, maybe even multiple times with multiple women. There's no one I can talk to, so pathetically I'm turning here for help and advice. I've found out literally in the last 15 minutes, my heart is all fluttery and I'm shaking. I'm in shock, I can't believe he would do this to me. :frown:

Any help, advice, support or anything would be appreciated.
Thank you

Take some deep breaths and don't talk to anyone for about half an hour so you can calm down and make rational decisions.
After this, confront him as calmly as possible having mulled over the situation.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 2

TheCurlyHairedDude

3

Lol it's peak for you

Reply 3

Iqbal007

19

Original post by Anonymous

Hi everyone,

I've just found out my partner of three years has cheated on me, maybe even multiple times with multiple women. There's no one I can talk to, so pathetically I'm turning here for help and advice. I've found out literally in the last 15 minutes, my heart is all fluttery and I'm shaking. I'm in shock, I can't believe he would do this to me. :frown:

Any help, advice, support or anything would be appreciated.
Thank you

Confront ur partner an i guess u kinda hav to leave even if u love him. As he has broken ur trust, so how can u trust him again. And are definitley sure he did, because i wud get my facts right.

Reply 4

hanaalou

are you 100% sure it's true?if you are then dump his cheating ass!

Reply 5

flywithemma

14

My first and only piece of advice, is that you go and talk to friends who know you/your relationship about it, rather than random strangers on the interwebs.

Reply 6

Yawn11

20

15mins ago? How exactly did you find out?

Reply 7

littlehobbit

10

Make sure you know that its definitely true before accusing him. When you know that, confront him, calmly, and go from there. Personally, that would be the end of the relationship for me. It's a horrible way for it to end, but has to be done, you will be fine :smile:

Reply 8

NellGwynne

2

Then kick 'em to the curb cos they ain't worth, Jack.

Reply 9

Coldplaydoh

16

I think you should confront him before accusing him, to be honest. It'll be bad/hard for you to hear but it's better to hear his side before you prove it guilty.

Sorry to hear, hope you get through this ok.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

He was advising one of his friends not to cheat on facebook via PM and his reply was 'just know that whatever u teach ureself now is what u gonna be doing when ure married..i do the same thing too just not shore about marrying this one..if was shore then i would not even look at another women let alone ****'

I think that's pretty conclusive. The friend forwarded it on to me because he thought I should know.

There's no one I can talk to apart from family and I can't face that right now. My 'partner' doesn't have a phone at the moment so I've had to leave him a message on FB to call me. I just don't know what to say to him. Trying to stay calm but I think I'm in shock.

Thanks for all the replies so far, it's helping me immensely.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

I just can't cope with this :frown:

Reply 12

sweeter than a cherry pie

13

To be honest, that doesn't sound like conclusive evidence that he's cheated on you. I think the best thing to do would be to show him the message, explain that his friend forwarded it to you in the belief that you should know (and do say "Because he thought I should know", as if you make it sound like you know, even though you don't really, he'll think you do and be more likely to be truthful, thinking that you already know anyway) and ask him to explain himself. Leave it as open-ended as possible (don't dive straight in with specific accusations, as there is not enough in that message to base them on, so he'd probably deny it and ask if you have any other evidence. I'm presuming you don't, or you'd have mentioned it to us) so that he's more likely to talk, and good luck! :smile:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sweeter than a cherry pie

To be honest, that doesn't sound like conclusive evidence that he's cheated on you. I think the best thing to do would be to show him the message, explain that his friend forwarded it to you in the belief that you should know (and do say "Because he thought I should know", as if you make it sound like you know, even though you don't really, he'll think you do and be more likely to be truthful, thinking that you already know anyway) and ask him to explain himself. Leave it as open-ended as possible (don't dive straight in with specific accusations, as there is not enough in that message to base them on, so he'd probably deny it and ask if you have any other evidence. I'm presuming you don't, or you'd have mentioned it to us) so that he's more likely to talk, and good luck! :smile:

Thank you so much for the reply.

I think the way it says 'I do the same thing too' and 'I would not even look at another woman let alone ****' is a flat out admittance that he's cheated. I'll definitely follow your advice when I confront him, I'm just going out of my mind waiting for him to make contact with me.

Reply 14

turbo64

Rip his balls out! Let him have it.

Reply 15

flowermaster91

14

Original post by Naomiimoan

Take some deep breaths and don't talk to anyone for about half an hour so you can calm down and make rational decisions.
After this, confront him as calmly as possible having mulled over the situation.

This, I'm sorry about that :console:

Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude

Lol it's peak for you

and this

LOOL

Reply 16

anti-duck

9

Dump his ass! He might not have cheated; the evidence isn't exactly conclusive, but he spells sure 'shore' (it's not even short for sure!), that is enough to give anyone trichotillomania.

On a serious note, have you spoken to his friend? Because he would probably know the context of those few semi-coherent sentences better. You obviously know what the four letter filtered word is, I can guess and if it is what I think it is then yeah... it looks pretty bad.

Reply 17

Naomiimoan

3

Original post by flowermaster91

This, I'm sorry about that :console:

and this

LOOL

What does 'this' mean?

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks guys, I would love to believe he hasn't cheated on me but I have the whole message conversation and in context it does seem like he has to me. Maybe I'm being paranoid; here it is

Friend: That status wasn't for anybody we noe. Its abt this gurl that I hooked up wit last weekend and she thought we had sumfin more than just tha one nite stand...we ran into each other and she sorta told her friend..my current gurl....hey this is my bf". And my gurl just went nuts of bof of us.

Partner: looooooools i see..she was a one nighter but assumed to be ure girl
now that's what i call awkward

Friend: **** happens bro

Partner: are u serieus with the girl u with right now??
if u are why cheat

Friend: Idk..I tend to sidetrip...not proud of it. Real man talk but I still do it. Am not happy or proud. You should note that.

Partner: i'm not judging you, just know that whatever u teach ureself now is what u gonna be doing when ure married..i do the same thing too just not shore about marrying this one..if was shore then i would not even look at another women let alone ****'

The last censored word begins with an F. About his spelling, English isn't his first language, he was never taught how to spell just learn from writing phonetically.