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Is it unfair to tell your boyfriend you'll break up with him if he goes to Amsterdam?

has he cheated on you before?

my friends were considering this once (a holiday to amsterdam) and i said my girlfriend would go mad because its the sex capital, so i said about it casually to her and she said to me 'but you might die'. puzzled about her response, i questioned her for her reasons and it was then clear she got amsterdam confused with afghanastan :rolleyes:

Reply 41

Athena21

8

To be fair, we have no idea what OP's bf is like! He may be completely trust worthy, or 'one of the lads'....It really depends on him whether or not her ultimatum is unreasonable.
She obviously thinks that going to amsterdam = cheating on her. I don't think saying "if you cheat on me it's over" is unreasonable for a girlfriend. :s-smilie:

If it was my boyfriend, I'd feel exactly the same. But then, my bf wouldn't have to 'get the lads together' to go to amsterdam, as he'd have just as much fun going with me :smile:

Lets face it, a lot of guys are going there for the prozzies. I like how most guys are posting "amsterdam is a cultural place with more to it than the red light district" - but OP's bf is staying entirely within the red light district the whole time, I doubt he's going for the culture!

Ps. I need to get myself to one of these 'banana shows'! :P

Reply 42

WelshBluebird

16

Original post by Anonymous

Am I being unreasonable.

If so, why?

Yes.
Because it is not your place to boss him around.
It is his life.
As long as he doesn't cheat on you, then what is the problem?

Personally, I'd be surprised if your bf doesn't dump you if you do give him an "ultimatum".

Reply 43

Antonia87

14

Original post by sophisticated

If you don't trust him, why are you in a relationship?

Simple question really...

Original post by lilywolf

If you can't trust him if he goes, then you shouldn't be together.

I hate it when people say this. Its insincere, flippant and borderline naive. People are allowed to have shaky moments of trust in their relationship you know. Just because someone has doubts about something doesnt mean they should walk out of the relationship.

And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
Although I wouldnt give him an ultimatum.

Reply 44

34253

2

My friend has a girlfriend like you... Please leave him for his sake. He is now 4 years into the relationship and he has turned into the most boring tosser on the planet. It is like he has had his balls taken from him. The RLD only has a very small hooker part that is rather easily avoidable. In fact, all the best coffeeshops are over a mile away from there because it's a tourist trap.

Reply 45

SiaSiaSia

16

Totally and weirdly unreasonable

Reply 46

Soph1990

12

Yep I'd see this as unfair, by all means express your concerns about the red light district, if he just goes to look then it would be harsh to end it, if he does anything else then that's up to you. But you really don't have much right to stop him going on holiday with his friends =/

Reply 47

Miss_Scarlett

15

Original post by Antonia87

I hate it when people say this. Its insincere, flippant and borderline naive. People are allowed to have shaky moments of trust in their relationship you know. Just because someone has doubts about something doesnt mean they should walk out of the relationship.

And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
Although I wouldnt give him an ultimatum.

Agree with all this and ditto.

Reply 48

Charlottelisabeth

8

You're being unreasonable, you obviously don't trust him enough because you think he'll go to a hooker. Just because they're staying in the red light district doesn't mean that he's going to cheat on you.

Reply 49

py0alb

3

Clearly you know you're mental, hence the reason you're anonymous. Probably a troll I suspect

Reply 50

WelshBluebird

16

Original post by Antonia87

And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.

But there is a huge difference in "not being happy" and dumping him if he does.

Reply 51

py0alb

3

Original post by Antonia87

And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
Although I wouldnt give him an ultimatum.

But still, you obviously don't think much of your partner's self-control or moral standards if you think a visit to Amsterdam is a "recipe for disaster".

Jesus, I've been to Amsterdam loads of times, and the thought of sleeping with a hooker never even crossed my mind once.

Reply 52

Blueflare

18

Yes, completely. I can't believe you're even asking the question.

You clearly do not trust him at all, for whatever reason. You probably shouldn't be in this relationship.

Reply 53

Antonia87

14

Original post by py0alb

But still, you obviously don't think much of your partner's self-control or moral standards if you think a visit to Amsterdam is a "recipe for disaster".

Jesus, I've been to Amsterdam loads of times, and the thought of sleeping with a hooker never even crossed my mind once.

Well my boyfriend's actually done it.

Reply 54

py0alb

3

Original post by Antonia87

Well my boyfriend's actually done it.

Ah right, I understand your concern then. That probably doesn't apply to the average guy in general though, or the OP's boyfriend in particular.

Reply 55

lawbot

1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm just trying to work out if he's being a cow or not.

Basically, he wants to go to Amsterdam with his guy mates, get stoned and stay in the red light district.

I am not comfortable with this at all, so I have offered the ultimatum of if he goes, that's it. Am I being unreasonable.

If so, why?

Not unreasonable at all.

Lets face it, the red light district is for one thing: prostitutes.

He can get get stoned and stay with his mates somewhere else in amsterdam. But they have specifically chosen that area.
They are going for sex

I am a guy and if my gf said to this to me i would at least try to understand her concerns. If he calls you unreasonable: get rid of him - plenty of good guys around who dont bang hookers.

Reply 56

34253

2

Original post by py0alb

But still, you obviously don't think much of your partner's self-control or moral standards if you think a visit to Amsterdam is a "recipe for disaster".

Jesus, I've been to Amsterdam loads of times, and the thought of sleeping with a hooker never even crossed my mind once.

I like to pretend they are women trapped in glass boxes banging to get out :lol:

. I mean, if the OP had actually been to Amsterdam she'd realise that almost all the hookers look like this:

Hardly inviting. And the higher end ones would cost him a months wages, so she'll soon know if he's done it.

[EDIT] This is too boner inducing to leave out:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 57

username234673

17

Totally harsh OP. I'd ditch you if you gave me that ultimatum.

Reply 58

py0alb

3

Original post by lawbot

Not unreasonable at all.

Lets face it, the red light district is for one thing: prostitutes.

He can get get stoned and stay with his mates somewhere else in amsterdam. But they have specifically chosen that area.
They are going for sex

I am a guy and if my gf said to this to me i would at least try to understand her concerns. If he calls you unreasonable: get rid of him - plenty of good guys around who dont bang hookers.

What a load of absolute horse ****.

Reply 59

Fumblenuts91

12

Unreasonable.

Is it unfair to tell your boyfriend you'll break up with him if he goes to Amsterdam?

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