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Pregnancy and Parenting Society Mark II

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys, going anonymous because people I know use here.

    I had a miscarriage last July, I didn't tell anyone at the time but now it has all come out. My ex now knows and I've told a few friends. Before I told anyone it didn't really bother me that much, obviously I was upset but it was an inconvenient time to have a baby so I suppose it happened for the best. But now that I have told a few people, I feel like I need to tell the whole thing. All I told my ex is that I had a miscarriage, after he split up. He'd told me not to contact him or talk to him, he deleted me off facebook and I deleted his number so I had no way to get in contact with him other than actually going to his house, and that's why I didn't tell him that I was pregnant I thought about leaving it until it was too late, then he couldn't do anything about it. It's weird but I feel like I need to tell people exactly where I was when I found out, the time and date etc? In a way to go over it in my own head because I've ignored it for so long, but I have nobody to talk to. My ex won't talk about it.

    Since telling people, which in a way was like admitting to myself that it actually happened because at the time I didn't tell anyone and just got on with things, I've become obsessed with pregnancy and babies etc. I really want to get pregnant again right now, except I'm in uni and don't even have a partner so that's crazy thoughts. I find myself so jealous over friends from school who are having babies, a bit of me dies inside whenever I see a scan picture or pregnancy announcement on facebook and I was even looking at prams on the internet the other day and planning what I would buy for my baby it's become like an obsession, and if I told people that they would think I was mad I'm sure.

    I know a girl from work who's just had a miscarriage and she's dealing with it completely differently to how I did. She's got support from people, but I just pretended it never happened, and now I can't stop thinking about it.

    The worst thing is I'd of been due soon
    You could be me. I did the same thing, and didn't tell my boyfriend I was expecting.. and then found out I'd had a MC and then it became really hard to tell anyone.. I told some friends, but then got myself in a bit of a mess because I was on constant egg shells that someone would say something to my boyfriend or my parents, or HIS parents.. because I was unsure how specifically I'd told my friends that my family DIDN'T know what was going on. Now, over a year later, I'm still on egg shells when I know that my parents are going to be talking to certain ones of my friends.. even though I know that it's not something that they'd mention anyway really (taboo etc) let alone over a year later.

    Sorry for that, was a bit of a rant to get things off my own chest!

    It's hard when you would have been due, I'm not going to lie to you. You say you've spoken to some friends about it, make sure you have someone to talk to if you need to. I found things like my due date, Mother's Day, Christmas etc hard last year, because it should have been so, so different if I hadn't lost the baby.

    I went through the phase of jealousy whenever I saw other people with babies, and still get broody when I see baby/scan pics (although I think that's normal for women, and I no longer feel as though my feelings are OTT at all) but I realised that if I hadn't got pregnant in the first place, there's no WAY I'd be thinking about having a baby now. I would most likely wait until I'm at least 24 and sorted in life (I'm 21 at the moment) so I just kind of need to come to terms with the loss and try my hardest to move on and get on with my life. I kind of feel as though I owe it to my baby to be a success, and that spurs me on a lot.

    What I'm trying to say, in a really inarticulate way, is that I'm sorry for your loss, but it DOES and WILL get easier. You'll never forget about it. I have had two days in the past 16 months where I haven't thought about the baby- and when I realised that I hadn't thought about it, it makes me feel guilty.. so annoying! But whereas it used to rule my life, and I'd think about every minute of every day, now only things like talking to someone about babies, talking to someone about being pregnant, seeing a new born.. things like make me think about it, but in a reflective kind of way rather than a "oh my word, my life is awful" kind of way like I was in the past.

    *Hugs*
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    I took the MAP a few days ago. I feel downright ****ty about it tbh. Not that I wanted more kids, definitely not....but....it was around ovulation time and I have a real panic that I might have destroyed a fertilised egg. Okay, so, I'm consoling myself with the thought that there probably was no fertilised egg at all, as we used withdrawal method (sorry, that's way too much info!!) but when I worked out my dates and realised I was at my most fertile...well we discussed it and decided I should take the MAP.
    But I'm so dead set against abortion, and believe that life begins at conception, so I'm now tormenting myself about the fact that I could possibly have destroyed a fertilised (albeit an unimplanted) egg.
    I feel sick tbh.
    It was on Sunday, so it has been five days now and I can't get it out of my head.
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    (Original post by Annie72)
    Wow, I imagine that your daughter will pick up 2 other languages very quickly, kids are meant to be able to do that with much more ease than an adult.Did you move your family out to Switzerland?.Lovely country!.
    Lovely country it is.

    I've been sending her for Chinese classes since she was 2, now just continuing it from where we left off. I hope she picks up German as easily as possible and get up to the required standard.

    Yes, both the kids are with me in Switzerland. The younger one will follow my parents back to Hong Kong later this month unless they decide to resettle in Switzerland.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    I took the MAP a few days ago. I feel downright ****ty about it tbh. Not that I wanted more kids, definitely not....but....it was around ovulation time and I have a real panic that I might have destroyed a fertilised egg. Okay, so, I'm consoling myself with the thought that there probably was no fertilised egg at all, as we used withdrawal method (sorry, that's way too much info!!) but when I worked out my dates and realised I was at my most fertile...well we discussed it and decided I should take the MAP.
    But I'm so dead set against abortion, and believe that life begins at conception, so I'm now tormenting myself about the fact that I could possibly have destroyed a fertilised (albeit an unimplanted) egg.
    I feel sick tbh.
    It was on Sunday, so it has been five days now and I can't get it out of my head.
    You'll be fine
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    I took the MAP a few days ago. I feel downright ****ty about it tbh. Not that I wanted more kids, definitely not....but....it was around ovulation time and I have a real panic that I might have destroyed a fertilised egg. Okay, so, I'm consoling myself with the thought that there probably was no fertilised egg at all, as we used withdrawal method (sorry, that's way too much info!!) but when I worked out my dates and realised I was at my most fertile...well we discussed it and decided I should take the MAP.
    But I'm so dead set against abortion, and believe that life begins at conception, so I'm now tormenting myself about the fact that I could possibly have destroyed a fertilised (albeit an unimplanted) egg.
    I feel sick tbh.
    It was on Sunday, so it has been five days now and I can't get it out of my head.
    (One of the many lurkers on this thread...hi )

    Anyway most of the evidence about how the MAP works suggests it stops ovulation rather than preventing implantation. There is a theoretical risk of the latter but it's pretty much impossible to prove whether it actually does that. So please don't worry too much about it (I know it's very easy for me to say that but I hope it is helpful).
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    (Original post by *Liana*)
    (One of the many lurkers on this thread...hi )

    Anyway most of the evidence about how the MAP works suggests it stops ovulation rather than preventing implantation. There is a theoretical risk of the latter but it's pretty much impossible to prove whether it actually does that. So please don't worry too much about it (I know it's very easy for me to say that but I hope it is helpful).
    cheers, I appreciate it
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    I took the MAP a few days ago. I feel downright ****ty about it tbh. Not that I wanted more kids, definitely not....but....it was around ovulation time and I have a real panic that I might have destroyed a fertilised egg. Okay, so, I'm consoling myself with the thought that there probably was no fertilised egg at all, as we used withdrawal method (sorry, that's way too much info!!) but when I worked out my dates and realised I was at my most fertile...well we discussed it and decided I should take the MAP.
    But I'm so dead set against abortion, and believe that life begins at conception, so I'm now tormenting myself about the fact that I could possibly have destroyed a fertilised (albeit an unimplanted) egg.
    I feel sick tbh.
    It was on Sunday, so it has been five days now and I can't get it out of my head.
    The MAP prevents an egg from becoming fertilised and stops/prevents implantation (from my own understanding) therefore no egg has become fertilised, or to put in another way no life was created at conception.

    Don't torment yourself, you got three gorgeous kids and a supportive husband
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    (Original post by Sapphire_Eyes)
    The MAP prevents an egg from becoming fertilised and stops/prevents implantation (from my own understanding) therefore no egg has become fertilised, or to put in another way no life was created at conception.

    Don't torment yourself, you got three gorgeous kids and a supportive husband
    I've read up on the Levonelle website :

    Levonelle® One Step is thought to work in different ways depending on where you are in your cycle. For example:

    It may stop an egg being released from the ovary (i.e. prevents ovulation)
    It may prevent sperm from fertilising any egg that may already have been released
    It may stop a fertilised egg from attaching itself to the lining of the womb
    It's the one in red that I'm worried about

    I'm trying not to think about it now. What's done is done, and I'm trying to rationalise that with the withdrawal method, the chances are that no egg would have been fertilised on account of there being insufficient sperm...

    but it's still in the back of my mind.

    I'm a lousy Catholic.
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    Happy belated Mother's day you guys!

    And congrats to HRH!! :party:
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    Yes quite! Congratulations to HRH on her new little one, and happy belated mother's day.

    So...what bp said basically lol

    how are you all doing?
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    (Original post by Maybe Tomorrow)
    Thank you for the congratulations and I hope your pregnancy goes well.

    Unfortunately I'm going through an early miscarriage which I found out about Friday. It's proving quite hard to deal with so far.
    Thank you and sorry for your loss, sorry this took so long to reply to, I've not been online for long enough periods to write anything. I hope it doesn't stay as hard to deal with for you.

    Has anyone here had bleeding in the first trimester that ended up being nothing? They wont see me until Thursday, I've been bleeding for a fortnight now and clueless as to how I'm meant to not worry as they've said to!

    And happy belated mothers day all
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    Hope you all had a lovely mothers day- what did you all get up to?

    Sadly I didn't see my mum this mothers day, she is too busy delivering lambs anyway!
    Our pet sheep who didn't get pregnant last year and lost her lamb the year before had healthy twins last night, so not humans but we were excited anyways.

    A family friend is due to have her twins very soon, shes around 36 weeks now, which is quite good for twins i think!

    Congrats to HRH, what sex was the bubba/name? xx
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    We had a lovely family lunch at my Mum's! (The M&S £15 deal..twice, there was lots of choice!)

    PMP: Thanks for the advice regarding children's learning!


    I'm feeling massively stressed at the moment, I knew this year would be tough but really feeling it this week! Stressing about job applications, assignments, placement, alongside trying to sort the girls and keep the house clean. Only 12 weeks to go and it's all done and I'll be a qualified teacher


    I don't really want to announce anything about HRH as she might like to do it herself, I'll talk to her on Facebook and get her to come across!

    Where is everyone, it's ever so quiet of late! What's happened to us, eh!
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    (Original post by tappyfeet92)
    Thank you and sorry for your loss, sorry this took so long to reply to, I've not been online for long enough periods to write anything. I hope it doesn't stay as hard to deal with for you.

    Has anyone here had bleeding in the first trimester that ended up being nothing? They wont see me until Thursday, I've been bleeding for a fortnight now and clueless as to how I'm meant to not worry as they've said to!

    And happy belated mothers day all
    How did it go seeing them? is everything still okay with your pregnancy?

    It feels so stupid to say that I still *feel* pregnant. I've felt nautious everyday for the past week. Plus my back feels so odd. I reckon I'm just being ridiculous as what are the chances of that!
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    (Original post by Maybe Tomorrow)
    How did it go seeing them? is everything still okay with your pregnancy?

    It feels so stupid to say that I still *feel* pregnant. I've felt nautious everyday for the past week. Plus my back feels so odd. I reckon I'm just being ridiculous as what are the chances of that!
    We went for the ultrasound a week yesterday which showed a definite heartbeat and baby measured about 8 weeks (didn't have a proper ultrasound person so doctor said to go to dating scan still to be completely sure of dates) but all looks good atm. The bleeding's virtually gone now, though still some slight discharge it's nowhere near how it'd gotten

    I get those symptoms before ovulation occasionally, and your body might not have quite caught up with what's happened yet. Have you spoken to your doctor about it or taken another test to be sure the hormones have left your system properly?
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    (Original post by tappyfeet92)
    We went for the ultrasound a week yesterday which showed a definite heartbeat and baby measured about 8 weeks (didn't have a proper ultrasound person so doctor said to go to dating scan still to be completely sure of dates) but all looks good atm. The bleeding's virtually gone now, though still some slight discharge it's nowhere near how it'd gotten

    I get those symptoms before ovulation occasionally, and your body might not have quite caught up with what's happened yet. Have you spoken to your doctor about it or taken another test to be sure the hormones have left your system properly?
    That's great to hear, I'm glad everything's okay with the baby

    Yeah I took a couple of tests to see the neg hoping that'd get my body in to gear, which it has, but I've still felt nautious each day. Hopefully it'll go away soon!
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    Hi all, sorry ive not been about-Pleased to announce Owen was born 11th March via emergency c section weighing in at 8lb 5oz. was meant to be planned 2 days later but I got Obstetric Cholestasis and he had to come earlier. Had a few issues with him going back into hospital due to weight loss for 2 days but he is doing well and Ella adores him.
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    A pic x
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    Gorgeous HRH, love the name!
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    (Original post by Nynyflower)
    Gorgeous HRH, love the name!
    Thanks hun x

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Updated: October 29, 2014
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