Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Urgh
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Spoiler
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Hiya, this is my first time posting on this thread and I'm just sort of looking for some advice I suppose.
I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, so to speak, but my relationship with food has changed quite drastically in the past few months.
I started having problems with my boyfriend about two months ago and completely lost my appetite due to the stress of the situation. Now everything's sorted out and although I now feel hungry and crave food and all that I can't bring myself to actually eat. It's almost as if I'm scared of food. I'm getting quite worried because I've lost nearly a stone and half in the past two months and people are starting to notice. I've never had any problems with food in the past so this is a little bit daunting.
Has anyone ever had anything like this before? Or does anyone have any ideas/advice about what I can do to start eating again?
thanks x
I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, so to speak, but my relationship with food has changed quite drastically in the past few months.
I started having problems with my boyfriend about two months ago and completely lost my appetite due to the stress of the situation. Now everything's sorted out and although I now feel hungry and crave food and all that I can't bring myself to actually eat. It's almost as if I'm scared of food. I'm getting quite worried because I've lost nearly a stone and half in the past two months and people are starting to notice. I've never had any problems with food in the past so this is a little bit daunting.
Has anyone ever had anything like this before? Or does anyone have any ideas/advice about what I can do to start eating again?
thanks x
Riku and Belle, I think this confirms the statement that "even when better, you're never really better."
An eating disorder dictates your life when it has no authority to.
I want you to take something on board I neglected for a long time.
The human body lives for up to 120 years, if you treat it right. Though this is purely down to your own input. RDAs and recommended allowances for things are only averages. Limits set to give you the mere average, middling amount during your LIFE.
Do you have days where you eat nothing but fruit and salad? Days where you eat nothing but burgers and lard? Fair enough. It averages out. RDA means little in the vast span that is your life.
My biggest folly was calculating stuff day by day. Like a weird robot that reset itself as soon as midnight, 00:00 hit.
NO!
Think of progress and your body's metabolism as a flowing river, and not like a set of stairs with definitive checkpoints. You ate a cake? Cool. The body does not see this as a big deal. It's fuel, and it uses it, and it moves on. Fluid. Until death. There is no "banking" period where it checkpoints and does the "Sonic the Hedgehog end of level tally up" thing.
"2104 calories today banked!"
This doesn't happen.
It's a gradual, seamless occurrence that happens bit by bit as time passes by!!
An eating disorder dictates your life when it has no authority to.
I want you to take something on board I neglected for a long time.
The human body lives for up to 120 years, if you treat it right. Though this is purely down to your own input. RDAs and recommended allowances for things are only averages. Limits set to give you the mere average, middling amount during your LIFE.
Do you have days where you eat nothing but fruit and salad? Days where you eat nothing but burgers and lard? Fair enough. It averages out. RDA means little in the vast span that is your life.
My biggest folly was calculating stuff day by day. Like a weird robot that reset itself as soon as midnight, 00:00 hit.
NO!
Think of progress and your body's metabolism as a flowing river, and not like a set of stairs with definitive checkpoints. You ate a cake? Cool. The body does not see this as a big deal. It's fuel, and it uses it, and it moves on. Fluid. Until death. There is no "banking" period where it checkpoints and does the "Sonic the Hedgehog end of level tally up" thing.
"2104 calories today banked!"
This doesn't happen.
It's a gradual, seamless occurrence that happens bit by bit as time passes by!!
Toto- thanks for that. (And the Sonic analogy made me giggle).
Confession time
Confession time
Spoiler
Original post by Riku
I'm so confused. I don't think my healthy diet/healthy weight-gain is really much more than relapse. I don't know whether I have an ED ffs! I don't know what I'm scared of. I do know that I nearly got checked out of the house today for making a fuss about having an omelette for tea after having had peanut butter sarnies for lunch thus going over the 30% RDA "fat limit" which scares me a bit. I also know I'm close to giving Mum a heart attack over all of this, even though I thought I was improving a bit.
I don't get it. I think I'm destined not to be in good shape and have a sharp mind, get good grades and whatever, because it'll always become obsessive and self-infatuated and incredibly hurtful for those I love even if not myself. It's stupid because I started all this for them when piggy Tom wasn't really bringing anything to the table.
I don't get it. I think I'm destined not to be in good shape and have a sharp mind, get good grades and whatever, because it'll always become obsessive and self-infatuated and incredibly hurtful for those I love even if not myself. It's stupid because I started all this for them when piggy Tom wasn't really bringing anything to the table.
Went through something similar. The issue is you have an idea of who you want to be, but in the process you have forgotten who you are. You are doing things to become a different person, things we are taught are 'perfect.' You are doing things that aren't implicitly YOU.
You need to appreciate the fact that we aren't 'made perfect'. People don't aim to be amazing, they do what they LOVE and they simply become amazing at that. You don't aim to BE something. You aim to achieve goals in the world around you, NOT IN YOURSELF.
The only thing a person can be perfect in is being themselves. Be perfect in that.
Original post by chavalis
Hiya, this is my first time posting on this thread and I'm just sort of looking for some advice I suppose.
I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, so to speak, but my relationship with food has changed quite drastically in the past few months.
I started having problems with my boyfriend about two months ago and completely lost my appetite due to the stress of the situation. Now everything's sorted out and although I now feel hungry and crave food and all that I can't bring myself to actually eat. It's almost as if I'm scared of food. I'm getting quite worried because I've lost nearly a stone and half in the past two months and people are starting to notice. I've never had any problems with food in the past so this is a little bit daunting.
Has anyone ever had anything like this before? Or does anyone have any ideas/advice about what I can do to start eating again?
thanks x
I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, so to speak, but my relationship with food has changed quite drastically in the past few months.
I started having problems with my boyfriend about two months ago and completely lost my appetite due to the stress of the situation. Now everything's sorted out and although I now feel hungry and crave food and all that I can't bring myself to actually eat. It's almost as if I'm scared of food. I'm getting quite worried because I've lost nearly a stone and half in the past two months and people are starting to notice. I've never had any problems with food in the past so this is a little bit daunting.
Has anyone ever had anything like this before? Or does anyone have any ideas/advice about what I can do to start eating again?
thanks x
Sounds kinda like broken heart syndrome, mixing with a few ED chemicals. You CAN manage this on your own OR you can get outside help as it can be very difficult without and the issues may resurface.
You need to sit down and FACE your fear head on. Battle it head on with an iron will sword. You know what you need to do. Prepare the food yourself, from scratch if needed (for Pete's sake, I baked my own bread!). Think of the effort you put in. Eat the food as the culmination of your efforts.
The only thing that can stop you is your resolve, simply follow the initial plan.
Oh, also eat very high calorie density foods. Helps regain the weight. You may need to stomach, le gasp, iced cream products.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Toto- thanks for that. (And the Sonic analogy made me giggle).
Confession time
Confession time
Spoiler
Crush them and pour them down the drain. If you can tell us you have an issue with them then you are STRONG ENOUGH to do something to look after yourself like eliminating 'die'ting pills.
Kay, bit about myself;
Spoiler
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Urgh
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Spoiler
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Spoiler
Toto, Antiaris, thanks. Makes a lot of sense.
The T reckons I've grown to use my being an anxious-depressive-OCD-disordered-borderline EDNOS case as a sort of persona, like status or an eccentric personality to gain attention and reassurance. I know this is a common argument that therapists use but probably does apply to me. If it carries on this way with Mum (who I know much as I love her has her issues and insecurities that don't help either of us), I might have to move out to Dad's or on my own for a bit. Just for some breathing space if not necessarily permanently.
I've been denied access back to the N at the services too on the basis that I know enough, knew enough about food, nutrition etc. as it is and asking for more is just further fuelling the obsession, because more's never enough. She thinks I'm like an information-whore in that respect, I like hoarding it all in. Kinda like I'm really trying to get an ED even if I'm only disordered now-probably will never find out the diagnosis, maybe that's for the best.I'm also being told CBT's coming to an end soon because I'm too old for it and have enough strategies to get by, just gotta use them.
So this is the big step really-learning how to stop being dependent on portraying myself as a wreck to get noticed and start rebuilding myself in the character that I am underneath, and figuring out what I really want to do for myself and the world. To do that, I think I'm going to have to lay off this and a few other things a bit. I know I've said this before but last night was a bit of a wake-up call.
I'll be lurking if you need me, everyone.
The T reckons I've grown to use my being an anxious-depressive-OCD-disordered-borderline EDNOS case as a sort of persona, like status or an eccentric personality to gain attention and reassurance. I know this is a common argument that therapists use but probably does apply to me. If it carries on this way with Mum (who I know much as I love her has her issues and insecurities that don't help either of us), I might have to move out to Dad's or on my own for a bit. Just for some breathing space if not necessarily permanently.
I've been denied access back to the N at the services too on the basis that I know enough, knew enough about food, nutrition etc. as it is and asking for more is just further fuelling the obsession, because more's never enough. She thinks I'm like an information-whore in that respect, I like hoarding it all in. Kinda like I'm really trying to get an ED even if I'm only disordered now-probably will never find out the diagnosis, maybe that's for the best.I'm also being told CBT's coming to an end soon because I'm too old for it and have enough strategies to get by, just gotta use them.
So this is the big step really-learning how to stop being dependent on portraying myself as a wreck to get noticed and start rebuilding myself in the character that I am underneath, and figuring out what I really want to do for myself and the world. To do that, I think I'm going to have to lay off this and a few other things a bit. I know I've said this before but last night was a bit of a wake-up call.
I'll be lurking if you need me, everyone.
Original post by Antiaris
Sounds kinda like broken heart syndrome, mixing with a few ED chemicals. You CAN manage this on your own OR you can get outside help as it can be very difficult without and the issues may resurface.
You need to sit down and FACE your fear head on. Battle it head on with an iron will sword. You know what you need to do. Prepare the food yourself, from scratch if needed (for Pete's sake, I baked my own bread!). Think of the effort you put in. Eat the food as the culmination of your efforts.
The only thing that can stop you is your resolve, simply follow the initial plan.
Oh, also eat very high calorie density foods. Helps regain the weight. You may need to stomach, le gasp, iced cream products.
Sounds kinda like broken heart syndrome, mixing with a few ED chemicals. You CAN manage this on your own OR you can get outside help as it can be very difficult without and the issues may resurface.
You need to sit down and FACE your fear head on. Battle it head on with an iron will sword. You know what you need to do. Prepare the food yourself, from scratch if needed (for Pete's sake, I baked my own bread!). Think of the effort you put in. Eat the food as the culmination of your efforts.
The only thing that can stop you is your resolve, simply follow the initial plan.
Oh, also eat very high calorie density foods. Helps regain the weight. You may need to stomach, le gasp, iced cream products.
Thankyou for the reply
At first it was definitely broken heart syndrome, but we're back to being happy again so that's all good.
Just came back from the GP - I have to go every two months at the moment because I suffer from really appalling stress tummy aches and they're trying to sort them out - and my doctor said that my BMI is now on the borderline (19) of being underweight :/ I'm making a meal for my boyfriend tonight so hopefully after I've finished I can just sit down and yam some lasagne. I'm making the pasta from scratch and everything!!!
But thankyou again it really means a lot to me
Original post by Antiaris
Kay, bit about myself;
Spoiler
That was the best thing I've read in a while, you are such an inspiration!
Original post by Antiaris
x
I really want to do it, I just can't bring myself to. I don't understand why I have this mental block.
I've been reading through this thread and there's some really inspiring stories in it. So many of you should be proud!
I've had an eating disorder many years and been through various cycles and the occasional relapse and as many types of treatment as are probably out there lol but I think I'm getting better all the time. The most helpful thing I've found is finding other people that understand and can give advice and support you and I've found that mainly on forums. I read some people saying it was difficult to find a supportive forum that isn't secretly pro-ana or just really negative. Well me and a group of friends of mine from a forum that was going that way set up a new forum to support one another in recovery from ANY eating disorder and I wanted to spread the word here because I know how hard it is to find a supportive, healthy forum.
A bit about it:.
I hope no one minds me posting a link here www.recoveryboat.com.
I really hope maybe we'll see some of you over there and I wish everyone well with recovery!
I've had an eating disorder many years and been through various cycles and the occasional relapse and as many types of treatment as are probably out there lol but I think I'm getting better all the time. The most helpful thing I've found is finding other people that understand and can give advice and support you and I've found that mainly on forums. I read some people saying it was difficult to find a supportive forum that isn't secretly pro-ana or just really negative. Well me and a group of friends of mine from a forum that was going that way set up a new forum to support one another in recovery from ANY eating disorder and I wanted to spread the word here because I know how hard it is to find a supportive, healthy forum.
A bit about it:
If you are suffering from an eating disorder and are serious about recovery, but need a little support, advice or just somewhere to let off steam, then Recovery Boat is for you.
Perhaps you've already recovered, or are well on your way, but need a little reassurance from time to time? And an opportunity to virtually meet like-minded people from all over the world?
Does someone you love suffer from an eating disorder? Perhaps you'd like some advice from people who can do their best to explain what your loved one is going through, and help you to understand how best to support them.
Recovery Boat is a peer support network run by people who have suffered with eating disorders. We are experienced in moderating peer support websites and feel very passionately about recovery and life after ED.
We understand how lonely it can be suffering from an eating disorder. So here we are to offer a shoulder to cry on, and to give you hope that recovery really is possible, even though the seas to get there are treacherous.
Perhaps you've already recovered, or are well on your way, but need a little reassurance from time to time? And an opportunity to virtually meet like-minded people from all over the world?
Does someone you love suffer from an eating disorder? Perhaps you'd like some advice from people who can do their best to explain what your loved one is going through, and help you to understand how best to support them.
Recovery Boat is a peer support network run by people who have suffered with eating disorders. We are experienced in moderating peer support websites and feel very passionately about recovery and life after ED.
We understand how lonely it can be suffering from an eating disorder. So here we are to offer a shoulder to cry on, and to give you hope that recovery really is possible, even though the seas to get there are treacherous.
I hope no one minds me posting a link here www.recoveryboat.com.
I really hope maybe we'll see some of you over there
and I wish everyone well with recovery!Original post by Anonymous
x
Oooh, will check it out. What's the ettiquette with newbies there? Do you introduce yourself or not?
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Oooh, will check it out. What's the ettiquette with newbies there? Do you introduce yourself or not?
Oh please do that'd be awesome
And yeah newbie's normally post an intro in the introduction section right at the top of the forum (you'll see that once you've signed up) telling us as much or as little as they like about themselves. We're a really friendly bunch so don't be shy- jump in! Just a note we're far more interested in you as a person than what you weigh or have weighed in the past
.Original post by Anonymous
Oh please do that'd be awesome
And yeah newbie's normally post an intro in the introduction section right at the top of the forum (you'll see that once you've signed up) telling us as much or as little as they like about themselves. We're a really friendly bunch so don't be shy- jump in! Just a note we're far more interested in you as a person than what you weigh or have weighed in the past.
And yeah newbie's normally post an intro in the introduction section right at the top of the forum (you'll see that once you've signed up) telling us as much or as little as they like about themselves. We're a really friendly bunch so don't be shy- jump in! Just a note we're far more interested in you as a person than what you weigh or have weighed in the past
.I've signed up under the name 'Cinnamon' (feeling all Christmas-y). Looking forward to meeting all of you.
(And I don't like using numbers for weight at the best of times- it's too trigger-y for people)
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
I've signed up under the name 'Cinnamon' (feeling all Christmas-y). Looking forward to meeting all of you.
(And I don't like using numbers for weight at the best of times- it's too trigger-y for people)
(And I don't like using numbers for weight at the best of times- it's too trigger-y for people)
Hehe it's my favourite spice Cinnamon
. I'm Butterfly over there, one of the mods. Can't wait to get to know you too We quite strongly discourage numbers and you won't find many at all cos they are triggering. We don't have real hard fast rules or some sort of number censor (I've seen forums with those! Man they're frustrating because they censor every number no matter what it's about!) but basically encourage people to really ask themseleves how relelvant the number really is and if necessary a mod will edit the numbers out but most people just don't use them.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
I've signed up under the name 'Cinnamon' (feeling all Christmas-y). Looking forward to meeting all of you.
(And I don't like using numbers for weight at the best of times- it's too trigger-y for people)
(And I don't like using numbers for weight at the best of times- it's too trigger-y for people)
Original post by Anonymous
Hehe it's my favourite spice Cinnamon . I'm Butterfly over there, one of the mods. Can't wait to get to know you too
We quite strongly discourage numbers and you won't find many at all cos they are triggering. We don't have real hard fast rules or some sort of number censor (I've seen forums with those! Man they're frustrating because they censor every number no matter what it's about!) but basically encourage people to really ask themseleves how relelvant the number really is and if necessary a mod will edit the numbers out but most people just don't use them.
. I'm Butterfly over there, one of the mods. Can't wait to get to know you too We quite strongly discourage numbers and you won't find many at all cos they are triggering. We don't have real hard fast rules or some sort of number censor (I've seen forums with those! Man they're frustrating because they censor every number no matter what it's about!) but basically encourage people to really ask themseleves how relelvant the number really is and if necessary a mod will edit the numbers out but most people just don't use them.
I need some help. I lost control of my eating completely - I came here not eating, then started eating healthily, then started eating loads, now I'm back to restricting again...
No-one I live with knows, except for one girl who asked (when she was drunk so I'm not sure she remembers) but I told her that I was ill and now I'm fine.
It's not fine though, I feel lost, there's no-one to talk to, I miss enough lectures as it is without having to go to Drs appointments, even worse Drs I don't know and trust. I feel like I shouldn't be here. I lost my job yesterday - because they have new managers - utter bull****, and the woman who told me was dead spineless. I have another job, but I get practically no income from it at the moment. I'm too scared to eat anyway, I feel that I can't afford food!
No-one I live with knows, except for one girl who asked (when she was drunk so I'm not sure she remembers) but I told her that I was ill and now I'm fine.
It's not fine though, I feel lost, there's no-one to talk to, I miss enough lectures as it is without having to go to Drs appointments, even worse Drs I don't know and trust. I feel like I shouldn't be here. I lost my job yesterday - because they have new managers - utter bull****, and the woman who told me was dead spineless. I have another job, but I get practically no income from it at the moment. I'm too scared to eat anyway, I feel that I can't afford food!
Hi everyone,
I've just made a new TSR account so I can actually post in here properly... been stalking this thread for a while now and wanted to talk
Sorry if that seems like a load of mumbo-jumbo. I'm not asking for advice or anything, just wanted to let it all out really
I've just made a new TSR account so I can actually post in here properly... been stalking this thread for a while now and wanted to talk
Spoiler
Sorry if that seems like a load of mumbo-jumbo. I'm not asking for advice or anything, just wanted to let it all out really
Oh, another moment of weakness.
I do apologise all. It's cutting me to the core letting of my steam here, possibly triggering some, but at this moment in time...
I do apologise all. It's cutting me to the core letting of my steam here, possibly triggering some, but at this moment in time...
Spoiler
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