Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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I had an eating disorder in school; not so serious that you could call it anorexia nervosa, or bulimia nervosa, but it was kind of a combination of the two. It only lasted 3/4 years and at my lowest I weighed about 7 stone, about 17BMI. I'm just going over this in case you think my comment sounds a bit simplified - my disorder probably wasn't as advanced as some peoples'.
The main thing I found was that for all the advice on how to eat right and how to not be afraid of food etc I was given, the only thing that made a difference was for my actual life circumstances to change. Only when my life started getting better and less difficult to cope with was I able to start eating normally again. Dunno what anyone else who used to have an ED thinks about this? True?
The main thing I found was that for all the advice on how to eat right and how to not be afraid of food etc I was given, the only thing that made a difference was for my actual life circumstances to change. Only when my life started getting better and less difficult to cope with was I able to start eating normally again. Dunno what anyone else who used to have an ED thinks about this? True?
Original post by Cinamon
Sorry to hear that snow 
I hope things start to get better for you
I hope things start to get better for youty dude. and before anyone asks 'why can't you tell him?' im terrorfied of him, and cant tell whether he's being serious or not. if i make a mistake, he'll take the piss
Actually contacted the uni counselling service. Can't quite believe I did it. This is going to be the first time I've ever opened up to/told ANYONE. Scared.
Original post by Antiaris
Anon 69, get out of the habbit. I know it is much more difficult to get out of the habbit on a binge week, so eat enough on the restriction weeks. Try and normalise from there.
It's become a routine
sometimes it's 10 days of binge, 5 days of starving...but you get the picture. I'm to dependent on my weekly strong-will and mood: if I start the week positively, i will control my food intake. If something bad happen at the beginning, i literally loose control and binge like crazy, eating all my favorites sweets until i feel dizzy or pass out of sugar high.it's very frustrating to be so weak regarding this problem
Hi. I wouldn't say that I have an eating disorder - but I'm starting to feel I might be on my way to developing one. I'm constantly being told I'm too skinny and that I'm becoming anorexic, but I always just brush it off, as, although I know I'm very slim, I don't think that I'm incredibly skinny. When I look in the mirror, I see a slim girl, not a thin one - but when I see photos of myself and videos, I can see that I look thinner than I appear to myself in the mirror.
Wow, I'm sorry this has been so long...but writing all this down is actually making me realise I've got something of a problem. I guess I came in here to see if anyone could give me an opinion of whether I might have something to worry about or if I was over-reacting - but I think from writing all this, I've realised I'm right to worry.
Spoiler
Wow, I'm sorry this has been so long...but writing all this down is actually making me realise I've got something of a problem. I guess I came in here to see if anyone could give me an opinion of whether I might have something to worry about or if I was over-reacting - but I think from writing all this, I've realised I'm right to worry.
Been a strange few days. Had another dodgy shift with work, choice of McDonalds or no lunch, just got hungry, went in and ordered within a few minutes. Record (still tasted awful, but I was looking for energy to keep ticking over, not a luscious feast). Last night I was out with mates, clearly had a few too many and not enough to eat to compensate, rather than collapse and faint like I was about to I had something and felt alright, didn't particularly dwell on it and had a great night anyway. Trying to get past the mentality of doing things like this means I'm a liar and never had or have issues, might as well say we're not deadyet, therefore we're not trying hard enough.
Had my first go at yoga on Thursday, so surreal being in harmony with mind and body, I started panicking but will definitely give it another try, strongly recommended. Going to take some time-out in general to get to know myself a bit better, because underneath a disguise of obsession and fear I remember a guy I kinda liked and it'll be nice to catch up and see what's new.
Also-awesome paintings, Antiaris. The idea of a lone boat approaching the incoming wave head-on particularly moved me.
Had my first go at yoga on Thursday, so surreal being in harmony with mind and body, I started panicking but will definitely give it another try, strongly recommended. Going to take some time-out in general to get to know myself a bit better, because underneath a disguise of obsession and fear I remember a guy I kinda liked and it'll be nice to catch up and see what's new.
Also-awesome paintings, Antiaris. The idea of a lone boat approaching the incoming wave head-on particularly moved me.
Riku, interesting post.
I think it's weird because recovering, we seem to forget what normality is and we're a bit like a first-time driver... we only have two speeds - Foot down to the floor or STALLED. All or nothing. We forget what our bodies tell us and go by what our minds have pre-determined that we want or need.
How often do ED sufferers know what their entire day... hell, WEEK'S worth of eating will be like, on the Monday? I'll tell you, a freaking LOT. How can you know what your body will need at 3.49pm on Thursday? We don't. The ED THINKS it knows though.
You'll learn, I'll learn, how to listen to our body and it's voice once more.
I think it's weird because recovering, we seem to forget what normality is and we're a bit like a first-time driver... we only have two speeds - Foot down to the floor or STALLED. All or nothing. We forget what our bodies tell us and go by what our minds have pre-determined that we want or need.
How often do ED sufferers know what their entire day... hell, WEEK'S worth of eating will be like, on the Monday? I'll tell you, a freaking LOT. How can you know what your body will need at 3.49pm on Thursday? We don't. The ED THINKS it knows though.
You'll learn, I'll learn, how to listen to our body and it's voice once more.
Okay, before I ask my question I want to stress how I do not intend to offend anyone by it, and if you are offended I sincerely apologize. It's just something I've wondered for a while.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
Original post by green chica
Okay, before I ask my question I want to stress how I do not intend to offend anyone by it, and if you are offended I sincerely apologize. It's just something I've wondered for a while.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
I know these thoughts are disgusting but...
Spoiler
I'm sick. I know.
Original post by green chica
Okay, before I ask my question I want to stress how I do not intend to offend anyone by it, and if you are offended I sincerely apologize. It's just something I've wondered for a while.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
I think sometimes those with EDs see a thin person and envy them because they immediately assume they're happy. Maybe the opposite is true for some people when they see overweight people?
For me - when I see someone who is 'curvier' I envy them because the majority of the time they look happy or at least much happier than I am.
I see a great beauty in that.Conversely, my answer to the question is that, I genuinely see every build of person and envision them to be the ideal and perfect versions of themselves. This sounds like a crock but it's absolutely true.
When I see my dad (who is apparently a bit overweight), my sister, who is allegedly obese, or my mum who is underweight... I see them as perfect representations of who they are. Amazing, attractive, bright and genuine people. I have fallen in love with girls who were incredibly thin and girls who were termed "morbidly" obese.
How odd I should be an incredible hypocrite and let numbers dictate how I think I appear; for example, I will look on a scale, and see a smaller number, and for some inexplicable reason, I will see myself in the mirror and believe myself to "look a bit better today" even if the number is mere bits of a pound difference.
It is illogical.
When I see my dad (who is apparently a bit overweight), my sister, who is allegedly obese, or my mum who is underweight... I see them as perfect representations of who they are. Amazing, attractive, bright and genuine people. I have fallen in love with girls who were incredibly thin and girls who were termed "morbidly" obese.
How odd I should be an incredible hypocrite and let numbers dictate how I think I appear; for example, I will look on a scale, and see a smaller number, and for some inexplicable reason, I will see myself in the mirror and believe myself to "look a bit better today" even if the number is mere bits of a pound difference.
It is illogical.
Original post by TotoMimo
Conversely, my answer to the question is that, I genuinely see every build of person and envision them to be the ideal and perfect versions of themselves. This sounds like a crock but it's absolutely true.
When I see my dad (who is apparently a bit overweight), my sister, who is allegedly obese, or my mum who is underweight... I see them as perfect representations of who they are. Amazing, attractive, bright and genuine people. I have fallen in love with girls who were incredibly thin and girls who were termed "morbidly" obese.
How odd I should be an incredible hypocrite and let numbers dictate how I think I appear; for example, I will look on a scale, and see a smaller number, and for some inexplicable reason, I will see myself in the mirror and believe myself to "look a bit better today" even if the number is mere bits of a pound difference.
It is illogical.
When I see my dad (who is apparently a bit overweight), my sister, who is allegedly obese, or my mum who is underweight... I see them as perfect representations of who they are. Amazing, attractive, bright and genuine people. I have fallen in love with girls who were incredibly thin and girls who were termed "morbidly" obese.
How odd I should be an incredible hypocrite and let numbers dictate how I think I appear; for example, I will look on a scale, and see a smaller number, and for some inexplicable reason, I will see myself in the mirror and believe myself to "look a bit better today" even if the number is mere bits of a pound difference.
It is illogical.
I owe you rep - I wish more people had views such as yours
Original post by green chica
Okay, before I ask my question I want to stress how I do not intend to offend anyone by it, and if you are offended I sincerely apologize. It's just something I've wondered for a while.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
Honestly? If I just see someone who is overweight or obese in passing, I don't really think anything. If I see someone I know who is overweight or obese, I see them as people and their body doesn't register. My cousin is apparently morbidly obese (as is my mum, actually) and they're incredibly beautiful and all I see is what they're like as people. I think my thoughts change when I see people eating though. That's when I become aware of people's sizes. I've thought some shamefully catty things when I've seen people (of any size) eating.
Tbh, I feel envious of everyone who isn't me. I assume that they're far happier than I am regardless of their size and if I see someone curvy, I think of how attractive they are and wish I could look like that while simultaneously thinking that it's fine for them but not for me. Stupid. Original post by Anonymous
I know these thoughts are disgusting but...
I'm sick. I know.
Spoiler
I'm sick. I know.
Original post by briesandwich
I think sometimes those with EDs see a thin person and envy them because they immediately assume they're happy. Maybe the opposite is true for some people when they see overweight people?
For me - when I see someone who is 'curvier' I envy them because the majority of the time they look happy or at least much happier than I am. I see a great beauty in that.
For me - when I see someone who is 'curvier' I envy them because the majority of the time they look happy or at least much happier than I am.
I see a great beauty in that.Original post by TotoMimo
Conversely, my answer to the question is that, I genuinely see every build of person and envision them to be the ideal and perfect versions of themselves. This sounds like a crock but it's absolutely true.
When I see my dad (who is apparently a bit overweight), my sister, who is allegedly obese, or my mum who is underweight... I see them as perfect representations of who they are. Amazing, attractive, bright and genuine people. I have fallen in love with girls who were incredibly thin and girls who were termed "morbidly" obese.
How odd I should be an incredible hypocrite and let numbers dictate how I think I appear; for example, I will look on a scale, and see a smaller number, and for some inexplicable reason, I will see myself in the mirror and believe myself to "look a bit better today" even if the number is mere bits of a pound difference.
It is illogical.
When I see my dad (who is apparently a bit overweight), my sister, who is allegedly obese, or my mum who is underweight... I see them as perfect representations of who they are. Amazing, attractive, bright and genuine people. I have fallen in love with girls who were incredibly thin and girls who were termed "morbidly" obese.
How odd I should be an incredible hypocrite and let numbers dictate how I think I appear; for example, I will look on a scale, and see a smaller number, and for some inexplicable reason, I will see myself in the mirror and believe myself to "look a bit better today" even if the number is mere bits of a pound difference.
It is illogical.
Original post by diamonddust
Honestly? If I just see someone who is overweight or obese in passing, I don't really think anything. If I see someone I know who is overweight or obese, I see them as people and their body doesn't register. My cousin is apparently morbidly obese (as is my mum, actually) and they're incredibly beautiful and all I see is what they're like as people. I think my thoughts change when I see people eating though. That's when I become aware of people's sizes. I've thought some shamefully catty things when I've seen people (of any size) eating. Tbh, I feel envious of everyone who isn't me. I assume that they're far happier than I am regardless of their size and if I see someone curvy, I think of how attractive they are and wish I could look like that while simultaneously thinking that it's fine for them but not for me. Stupid.
Tbh, I feel envious of everyone who isn't me. I assume that they're far happier than I am regardless of their size and if I see someone curvy, I think of how attractive they are and wish I could look like that while simultaneously thinking that it's fine for them but not for me. Stupid. Thank you all for your very honest answers! I have a feeling that if I asked someone I knew from my real life that had an ED, they wouldn't be as honest as you guys, so thanks! + rep for each of you for the honesty.
@Anonymous - Why do you not find people who have a BMI above 20 attractive? Have you always been this way, or is it because of your ED?
And, TotoMimo, marry me?
Original post by green chica
Okay, before I ask my question I want to stress how I do not intend to offend anyone by it, and if you are offended I sincerely apologize. It's just something I've wondered for a while.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
Original post by diamonddust
Honestly? If I just see someone who is overweight or obese in passing, I don't really think anything. If I see someone I know who is overweight or obese, I see them as people and their body doesn't register. My cousin is apparently morbidly obese (as is my mum, actually) and they're incredibly beautiful and all I see is what they're like as people. I think my thoughts change when I see people eating though. That's when I become aware of people's sizes. I've thought some shamefully catty things when I've seen people (of any size) eating. Tbh, I feel envious of everyone who isn't me. I assume that they're far happier than I am regardless of their size and if I see someone curvy, I think of how attractive they are and wish I could look like that while simultaneously thinking that it's fine for them but not for me. Stupid.
Tbh, I feel envious of everyone who isn't me. I assume that they're far happier than I am regardless of their size and if I see someone curvy, I think of how attractive they are and wish I could look like that while simultaneously thinking that it's fine for them but not for me. Stupid. This is exactly me. I can find things about pretty much any human which I will hate myself for not having. Be that physical, appearance, or some personality or intelligence thing, I always find something.
Spoiler
I feel really horrible having written that.
I may come back and edit/delete 
I know it sounds bad, but when I see fat people, particularly horrifically overweight people (but even people who just have a slight paunch), I feel disgusted, and feel that I'm superior to them. I feel that I must have greater willpower, greater regard for my health, and am more attractive, and that I stand out more, because pretty much everyone is fat these days, so being thin makes me more noteworthy. Similarly, I feel a pang of envy when I see someone thinner than me.
You know that point in the cycle where you do so well, put on a couple of pounds, then notice and panic and just KNOW everything's going to slip again and you start stopping yourself eating again? How do you guys get around it?
I'm trapped, I'm never ever going to get out of this circle and I wish I could get out, this isn't a life being caught like this.
With every fall the depression gets worse and the self-hatred more intense.
I'm trapped, I'm never ever going to get out of this circle and I wish I could get out, this isn't a life being caught like this.
With every fall the depression gets worse and the self-hatred more intense.
Greenchica, I am incredibly flattered, and I kiss you upon the hand on bended knee!
Awamz, the "competitive" element of anorexia is a prevalent one, especially with those in the early stages. Have you been suffering long?
Whilst I eat my prawn cocktail salad from Marks and Spencer for >100 kcals, and see my sister down a rustlers burger, I used to have catty thoughts of "how dare you put that in your body! THE MG OF FAT! THE CALORIES!" But now, I think nothing of it.
I am sadly still at the point in my life where I gauge things daily. like step-by-step.
Life is not like that. You cannot gauge things like a set of stairs. I might weigh 100lbs one day and 96 another, then 104 another day. Does man 43 on the train see me on monday and think "what a skinny dude!" then on tuesday balk in disgust, saying "What a fatso!"....
er, no!
Think of life more like a flowing river than a staircase. So what if a person eats ten burgers one day. One day is a mere droplet in the ocean that is their lifetime. And moreover, it is like the petrol poured into a car.
How ludicrous does it sound that a man and his wife go on safari - and they keep a diary. They visit the plains of Africa, the lush forests, the local civilisations. The diary reads: Today we used one gallon of petrol. Tomorrow I hope we only use half a gallon of petrol. DAY TWO: Oh MY GOD. WE USED TWO GALLONS. Tomorrow I'm not going to drive anywhere in case we use a gallon of petrol. DAY THREE: We only used half a gallon of petrol. Thank god for that. DAY FOUR: We used a gallon of petrol. I'm sickened at the thought.
How stupid does that sound? For all the amazing sights and sounds to see on a wonderous trip of life, to focus on the fuel for the journey?
Awamz, the "competitive" element of anorexia is a prevalent one, especially with those in the early stages. Have you been suffering long?
Whilst I eat my prawn cocktail salad from Marks and Spencer for >100 kcals, and see my sister down a rustlers burger, I used to have catty thoughts of "how dare you put that in your body! THE MG OF FAT! THE CALORIES!" But now, I think nothing of it.
I am sadly still at the point in my life where I gauge things daily. like step-by-step.
Life is not like that. You cannot gauge things like a set of stairs. I might weigh 100lbs one day and 96 another, then 104 another day. Does man 43 on the train see me on monday and think "what a skinny dude!" then on tuesday balk in disgust, saying "What a fatso!"....
er, no!
Think of life more like a flowing river than a staircase. So what if a person eats ten burgers one day. One day is a mere droplet in the ocean that is their lifetime. And moreover, it is like the petrol poured into a car.
How ludicrous does it sound that a man and his wife go on safari - and they keep a diary. They visit the plains of Africa, the lush forests, the local civilisations. The diary reads: Today we used one gallon of petrol. Tomorrow I hope we only use half a gallon of petrol. DAY TWO: Oh MY GOD. WE USED TWO GALLONS. Tomorrow I'm not going to drive anywhere in case we use a gallon of petrol. DAY THREE: We only used half a gallon of petrol. Thank god for that. DAY FOUR: We used a gallon of petrol. I'm sickened at the thought.
How stupid does that sound? For all the amazing sights and sounds to see on a wonderous trip of life, to focus on the fuel for the journey?
Original post by green chica
x
Over about 20 I just see their fat/flaws. Since I've had this disorder since I was about eleven (with a childhood of never feeling happy with my body), I don't remember ever thinking of someone of upper-normal/over-weight as attractive. When I was a kid I idolised very slender/thin people (with an older sister who's tall and thin and barely eats) It's completely my own neurosis but that's just the way I'm wired, I guess.
Original post by green chica
Okay, before I ask my question I want to stress how I do not intend to offend anyone by it, and if you are offended I sincerely apologize. It's just something I've wondered for a while.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
When those of you with anorexia and bulimia see people who are overweight or obese, what are your true thoughts? Do you think they are disgusting? Do you in a way envy them?
Again, if you've been offended by this question then you have my sincere apologies.
I'm bulimic and when I see overweight people I don't feel disgusted by them at all, in fact it sometimes makes me feel a little better about myself because I can physically see that I'm a lot smaller than them.
When I see people eating though, it's a whole different story. I completely judge people and feel disgusted when I can see them eating, and it's worse when they're bigger sized people. Some really nasty thoughts go through my head and I hate this part of me.
