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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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    (Original post by Etoile)
    I probably am anyway, and the pain is kind of the point. Plus no PE for me any more :woo: Although don't worry! I realised how unhappy I am with my life yesterday morning, before this happened, and resolved to change as much as possible of it. So today I'm actually pretty happy, because I've made a list and I'm hoping things are going to improve pretty soon. In fact, my relationship was one of the things making me unhappy but I'm terrible at leaving people because I'm such a people pleaser and I hate hurting people's feelings. SO, for me I am now growing my hair, going to RECOVER, get HEALTHY, spend time with my family, paint my bedroom etc.
    I LIKE YOU TOO SO ALSO BE GOOD(:
    I've done the reverse, I've cut it. Its awesome. I'm tryinggg.
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    Continuing in the vein of "Inspiring revelations for recovery", I've just had the most amazing kick in the backside.

    I'm currently working for Ubisoft Reflections as a videogame artist down in Newcastle but haven't been actually in-office for a while due to my debility. I now live with my dad in Scotland whilst I slowly recover.

    This week I was headhunted by a huge company in Scotland who want to consider me forthe job of lead game designer, an even BETTER job with greater creative freedom (and more moolah!). After talking with them they want me to go for an interview first thing next week. However, my therapy/support/physicians are unwilling to sign me back on for work until I gain beyond 18.5 BMI (so I still have to get above 8 stones!!) - and if successful, I'd start in one month!!

    So -

    ONE MONTH.

    ONE STONE.

    COME AT ME, CHOCOLATE.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Continuing in the vein of "Inspiring revelations for recovery", I've just had the most amazing kick in the backside.

    I'm currently working for Ubisoft Reflections as a videogame artist down in Newcastle but haven't been actually in-office for a while due to my debility. I now live with my dad in Scotland whilst I slowly recover.

    This week I was headhunted by a huge company in Scotland who want to consider me forthe job of lead game designer, an even BETTER job with greater creative freedom (and more moolah!). After talking with them they want me to go for an interview first thing next week. However, my therapy/support/physicians are unwilling to sign me back on for work until I gain beyond 18.5 BMI (so I still have to get above 8 stones!!) - and if successful, I'd start in one month!!

    So -

    ONE MONTH.

    ONE STONE.

    COME AT ME, CHOCOLATE.

    Good luck
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Continuing in the vein of "Inspiring revelations for recovery", I've just had the most amazing kick in the backside.

    I'm currently working for Ubisoft Reflections as a videogame artist down in Newcastle but haven't been actually in-office for a while due to my debility. I now live with my dad in Scotland whilst I slowly recover.

    This week I was headhunted by a huge company in Scotland who want to consider me forthe job of lead game designer, an even BETTER job with greater creative freedom (and more moolah!). After talking with them they want me to go for an interview first thing next week. However, my therapy/support/physicians are unwilling to sign me back on for work until I gain beyond 18.5 BMI (so I still have to get above 8 stones!!) - and if successful, I'd start in one month!!

    So -

    ONE MONTH.

    ONE STONE.

    COME AT ME, CHOCOLATE.
    Nice one!
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I've done the reverse, I've cut it. Its awesome. I'm tryinggg.
    Awesome There's nothing like a new style to change how you feel And trying is good
    I can't get over how happy I am :lol: It's like I've remembered how to be a person again.

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Continuing in the vein of "Inspiring revelations for recovery", I've just had the most amazing kick in the backside.

    I'm currently working for Ubisoft Reflections as a videogame artist down in Newcastle but haven't been actually in-office for a while due to my debility. I now live with my dad in Scotland whilst I slowly recover.

    This week I was headhunted by a huge company in Scotland who want to consider me forthe job of lead game designer, an even BETTER job with greater creative freedom (and more moolah!). After talking with them they want me to go for an interview first thing next week. However, my therapy/support/physicians are unwilling to sign me back on for work until I gain beyond 18.5 BMI (so I still have to get above 8 stones!!) - and if successful, I'd start in one month!!

    So -

    ONE MONTH.

    ONE STONE.

    COME AT ME, CHOCOLATE.
    That's awesome! Good luck/congrats
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    I know this is a really sensitive topic, so Iwont be making any jokes.
    This is serious.

    When going through anything in life, I always think doing meditiation for 10 minutes a day, can benefit you as a person.
    It will make you understand who you are and how to control yourself.
    This with yoga with will mean you will be able to tackle virtually any situation life hurls at you
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    (Original post by Etoile)
    Awesome There's nothing like a new style to change how you feel And trying is good
    I can't get over how happy I am :lol: It's like I've remembered how to be a person again.
    i know. its epic. can't find my grey beret which is annoying me no end.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    i know. its epic. can't find my grey beret which is annoying me no end.
    Ooh fancy. Learn French! :ahee:

    (Original post by blueray)
    I know this is a really sensitive topic, so Iwont be making any jokes.
    This is serious.

    When going through anything in life, I always think doing meditiation for 10 minutes a day, can benefit you as a person.
    It will make you understand who you are and how to control yourself.
    This with yoga with will mean you will be able to tackle virtually any situation life hurls at you
    Sup blueray. I've never understood how to do meditation, something about lacking inner calm :L Can you explain it?
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    (Original post by Etoile)
    Ooh fancy. Learn French! :ahee:



    Sup blueray. I've never understood how to do meditation, something about lacking inner calm :L Can you explain it?
    Je parle....Je parle... Je ne parle Francais. My limit of french is literally Bonjour Madame! Ca va? Ca va bien Merci. Et vous?
    Yoga is amazing. Quite impressed that a friend managed to bugger her back up doing a sun salutation.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)


    Cinamon, that is something I really despise about the scales, and this ED - and that's the guilty, awful shameful glee I feel when the number on it... the arbitrary little LCD number on my set of scales - is less than it was previously.

    It's strange as in every other capacity (my family telling me how much better I look, people saying I'm getting back to my "handsome self" - haha) I LIKE recovery. But that NUMBER. God, why does a stupid number have to count?

    I suppose only that individual sufferer can place a bearing on the importance of it, but I personally find it both stupid and critical to "progress".
    A few months into my treatment (nearly four years ago now!) my mum found out I was still weighing myself (I was also still managing to lose weight ) We got back from the doctors or wherever and she did not talk to me just walked upstairs. I was in the living room when I heard the front door slam and then this almighty banging. I looked out the window to find my mum outside attacking the scales with a sledgehammer. To this day if I even think of getting on the scale or worrying about it. I just remember that moment!

    My advice do something like that with your own scales!!
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    Green Girl, even just you telling me about that incident is a powerful image! I can just imagine your mum's rage.

    Another thing we tend to forget is that an ED is a very selfish condition. We might not know it, but we are so introvert and self-obsessed without realising that we simply assume it doesn't have a "harm radius" - our families are wrought with pain, anguish and frustration.

    My dad told me one night when he was drunk that "You killing yourself is killing me too. Every time you indulge those habits it breaks my heart I can't do anything to help you."
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    Uuugh what to do when you woke up at 3AM by your brother coming in from a heavy drinking session and been wide awake ever since.
    I'm incredibly jealous that he can get away with abusing himself like that for funsies, and yet if I slip up with looking after myself (pizza last night as treat; genuinely good day on the beach) my mind and body rebel and give me hell.
    So pissed off. I've tried staying positive and using coping mechanisms/relaxation techniques (Viz, music, meditation, Sudoku-okay, maybe the last one's a bit of a bad idea) but tonight the sandman's off-duty. The only reason I haven't binged is as Toto said, that I'm sick of tearing my parents' hearts apart by doing something that has no purpose and makes no-one really feel better. But if I eat enough it'd finally make me sleepy...
    It's Easter today but it doesn't really feel like it right now : /
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Green Girl, even just you telling me about that incident is a powerful image! I can just imagine your mum's rage.

    Another thing we tend to forget is that an ED is a very selfish condition. We might not know it, but we are so introvert and self-obsessed without realising that we simply assume it doesn't have a "harm radius" - our families are wrought with pain, anguish and frustration.

    My dad told me one night when he was drunk that "You killing yourself is killing me too. Every time you indulge those habits it breaks my heart I can't do anything to help you."
    At the time it scared the sh*t out of me. She didn't say a word she was so angry, just hacked at that thing! And your right. Only now when I'm 'better have I been able to talk things over with her and the rest of my family (I have a little sister who I finally feel I am looking after instead of the other way round! ). And I feel awful for everything I put them through, but as they say the best apology I can give is continuing to recover

    Riku - I know it's hard (espcially late at night when you can't sleep and feel all alone) but you can do this! Lie down and think of all the reasons not to binge (in therapy we called it 'Wise Mind'. And for future help with sleep try these things:

    - Warm drink (milk/chamomile tea/horlicks - anything that dosent have caffinne!)
    - Try and cut down on caffiene during the day
    - Warm baths
    - Lavender oil ( a few drops on a tissue and tucking that tissue in your pillow/ dropping in bath)
    - Lowering the lights while getting into bed/reading
    - Relaxation tapes (my personal preferences is audiobooks/ thunderstorms!)
    - Keeping to a routine for a while (i.e. going to be at a usual time and doing the usual things before you go to bed - it gets your body use to winding down!)
    - Valerien root, lemon balm (herbal sleep/ stress remidies!)

    Hope these help!! x
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    (Original post by Green_girl94)
    At the time it scared the sh*t out of me. She didn't say a word she was so angry, just hacked at that thing! And your right. Only now when I'm 'better have I been able to talk things over with her and the rest of my family (I have a little sister who I finally feel I am looking after instead of the other way round! ). And I feel awful for everything I put them through, but as they say the best apology I can give is continuing to recover

    Riku - I know it's hard (espcially late at night when you can't sleep and feel all alone) but you can do this! Lie down and think of all the reasons not to binge (in therapy we called it 'Wise Mind'. And for future help with sleep try these things:

    - Warm drink (milk/chamomile tea/horlicks - anything that dosent have caffinne!)
    - Try and cut down on caffiene during the day
    - Warm baths
    - Lavender oil ( a few drops on a tissue and tucking that tissue in your pillow/ dropping in bath)
    - Lowering the lights while getting into bed/reading
    - Relaxation tapes (my personal preferences is audiobooks/ thunderstorms!)
    - Keeping to a routine for a while (i.e. going to be at a usual time and doing the usual things before you go to bed - it gets your body use to winding down!)
    - Valerien root, lemon balm (herbal sleep/ stress remidies!)

    Hope these help!! x
    Thanks GreenGirl-I've tried a few of these in some variation or other but it didn't work this time. But hey-ho. I've lost the battel, I'm winning the war.
    [spoiler]
    3 crusty white rolls and a dry, unloved hot cross bun-there goes breakfast. Mum's gonna be devastated...
    I feel really ill. It's my fault. I wasn't held at gunpoint to eat all that. My parents try but it's only in my power to act. Perhaps I should consider that I'm making them sick inside, maybe more than I physically feel.
    I know I'm gonna get worked up about our Easter eggs now on account of what I've just done but ultimately that's an excuse which will lead to a constant cycle of abuse and neglect. I say I hate food now, but it's no surprise if I use it against me. I actually enjoyed the pizza. If I live in constant fear of food then I'm bound never to enjoy it again, and it's pretty much the same for everything. And yes I have a heart condition, but it's benign. It can't hurt, I've been told by my GP just to go enjoy myself and be like any other teen. Yet I don't want to believe that. If I spend all my time worrying about death and deliberately trying to terrify myself (feel back into the Google search), how will I ever truly be alive?
    Life is scary, that's inevitable. Sometimes you have to take the jump into the great unknown-what if we at last do what we want today? What if we let ourselves feel again?
    I preach a lot. I'm a bad hypocrite. It's time for me to practice my own words and take responsibility to change for the better. But I'm already doing that? Well best do it some more then. If I can assert myself 80% of the time, I can assert myself 90%. I can empower myself to look fear in the eye. That's not about getting perfect, that's about accepting being imperfect and beautiful anyway. I have a good life, a lot of family and friends who care, a lot of potential; I don't need perfect grades or a perfect body to be happy. It's up to me whether to embrace that life or throw it away.
    Recovery is for life, not just for Christmas or Lent or Easter or your birthday. It is life.

    http://youtu.be/h5Bb5IwRJcs

    I hope this helps all of you as much as I hope it'll help me.
    Happy Easter everyone. Never give up.
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Thanks GreenGirl-I've tried a few of these in some variation or other but it didn't work this time. But hey-ho. I've lost the battel, I'm winning the war.

    Recovery is for life, not just for Christmas or Lent or Easter or your birthday. It is life.
    Exactly as you say, things do get hard there are blips. But just don't beat yourself up about them! I consider myself 'recovered' and tonight I'm struggling. Had some family photos done today in which I feel I look fat. And being home alone tomorrow my main thought is 'exercise day' (in a way it is different as I still plan to eat!) but I know that in the long run this will be bad for me! Just got to keep fighting each battle as it comes!! (This song is one I listen to on rpeat during recovery when I had a bad day and felt bad about it!! Keep going!!! <3 ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nan4Kdtz-9w&ob=av2n
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    Hi guys! I need opinions. Basically, earlier today I realised that although I know I suffer from an ED (not entirely sure if it's solely anorexia anymore because I've been binging a lot lately), the symptoms are obvious and my family are even aware of it, I still don't believe I suffer from it. It's like it's right in front of me and yet I can't see it so I don't take it as seriously as I should. Could this be the denial part?
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    Did I honestly just order and eat macaroni cheese in pure, childhood-nostalgic, unconditional bliss? Takes me back to weekend's at Grandma's as a kid. The taste of progress. What a beautiful day.
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    (Original post by Riku)
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    Did I honestly just order and eat macaroni cheese in pure, childhood-nostalgic, unconditional bliss? The taste of progress. What a beautiful day.
    So proud of you! Well done x
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    Hi
    I have a friend who has anorexia, and is being admitted to a specialist unit tomorrow for the foreseeable future. Would appreciate any advice on how I can encourage and support her? I can't visit, only text and write to her. Is there anything people have done/said that has really helped in your recovery? Obviously, I have told her she is welcome to text me any time she wants, but just not quite sure what I can say to her that won't upset her but will encourage her.
    Thanks
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    (Original post by mespannerhanz)
    Hi
    I have a friend who has anorexia, and is being admitted to a specialist unit tomorrow for the foreseeable future. Would appreciate any advice on how I can encourage and support her? I can't visit, only text and write to her. Is there anything people have done/said that has really helped in your recovery? Obviously, I have told her she is welcome to text me any time she wants, but just not quite sure what I can say to her that won't upset her but will encourage her.
    Thanks
    Regardless of what the idiots said in your other thread. She isnt starving because she wants attention. She's doing it because thats how she copes with stuff. Other people get drunk, smoke, take drugs, eat chocolate. We go for not eating.
    One of the girls on here ended up in a 'fat farm' - her words not mine, and at the beginning, her meal plan was essentially full fat milk, and a hell of a lot of it. I'd PM'ed her through this place, with a link to a clip of youtube from the IT crowd, the one where Moss says 'I've come here to kick ass and drink milk, and I've finished my milk. She found it hilarious at the time, made her week apparently.

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