Racist girlfriend

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Hello, I'm in a bit of a moral quandary, as my girlfriend has just admitted that she is actually hates black people.

We've been dating for about 6 months and it's honestly the happiest I've ever felt. The issue hasn't really come up, because we're both from Devon and it's actually pretty rare to see a black person out and about even in towns. Also there are very few black people at my university so when she's come up to visit me here it's not really been evident.

I'm not blameless myself, at school we used to make pretty racist jokes because that's just what seemed amusing to everyone, as there wasn't anyone that took offence, and they were all unfounded, obviously insincere slurs anyway. So when she made the occasional remark I just attributed it to a common sense of humour. But then a few nights ago when she was visiting me, we were having dinner and she asked to sit in the seat that wasn't facing a black couple. Then she went on to make pretty derogatary comments about how arrogant/loud they were being, lack of table manners, etc, even though they were no different to the rest of the diners. I asked her about it and she said she always felt that she was superior to them and that they made her feel a little bit ill, and that some sort of apartheid should be introduced.

I'm no angel but this has been causing me a lot of distress. I don't really have any black friends but it does make me think less of her. But I really, really don't want to think about leaving her. She's kind, generous, funny, considerate. She's my best friend and closest confidant and I would do anything for her.

What do you think I should do? How should I bring it up?

Thanks guyz

I honestly can't see how someone with racist views could be like that...
Just speak to her, tell her you don't like how she feels and if she doesn't agree (and it's still causing you distress), dump her. You don't want her views to rub off on you.

Or you could just forget that black people make up 22% of the world and that they are humans too :smile:

Reply 81

MaximumLulz

maybe she'll sleep with a coloured man one day? once you go black you never go back?

Reply 82

Girl4907856

Original post by tleave2000

If all the good things about her you say are true then you'd be nuts to dump her.

If you love her, then accept her for who she is.

Everyone has bad sides to them, but racism just isn't tolerable. So he wouldn't exactly be 'nuts' to dump her.

Reply 83

saccharin

well, as you say, she isn't an inherently horrible person. She just holds opinions which are very clearly factually wrong, thinking some people are better than others just because of the colour of their skin. She obviously just is ignorant/misguided and I would say surely you can change her mind seeing as her racist attitudes rest on false belief. sooo yeah, just explain she's wrong repeatedly until she gets the message?

i know I'm sort of ridiculously optimistic buttt just talk to her, it's weird that she thinks like that... :erm:

Reply 84

Shenin...

Though personally I could not go out with a racist, I don't necessarily think you should give up on this girl just yet, because she has obviously been brought up with wrong morals and ideas and if she loves you as much as you love her, you may be the only one who she will listen to. You should try to educate her away from such extremist views by putting women like rihanna, beyonce etc. into perspective. If you find that she is fixed on her views, you may need to start questioning yourself: "Do I have a future with a girl who cannot stand ethnic minorities to the point where she feels physically ill?" Because no matter where you will go, whether it be on holiday or to work, you will find black people.

Reply 85

tleave2000

Original post by jamaicangal

Everyone has bad sides to them, but racism just isn't tolerable. So he wouldn't exactly be 'nuts' to dump her.

You think we should be intolerant of intolerance? What if someone decides to be intolerant of your intolerance of intolerance? Live and let live.

A girl with the qualities he describes...

Original post by xmrbearx

She's kind, generous, funny, considerate. She's my best friend and closest confidant and I would do anything for her.

is not easy to find these days (or maybe ever).

Actually the dumb thing is that op decided to get the tsr thought police involved in the first place.

OP: grow a backbone and learn to stand up for your girl. You said you'd do anything for her, so do this.

Reply 86

finestory

Dump her ass? Her saying that someone who thinks apartheid would be for the best and that seeing black people makes her feel sick completely negates the description of her as 'kind and considerate'.
Don't even know how you could begin to fancy someone who holds those views to be honest.

Reply 87

Girl4907856

Original post by tleave2000

You think we should be intolerant of intolerance? What if someone decides to be intolerant of your intolerance of intolerance? Live and let live.

A girl with the qualities he describes...

is not easy to find these days (or maybe ever).

Actually the dumb thing is that op decided to get the tsr thought police involved in the first place.

OP: grow a backbone and learn to stand up for your girl. You said you'd do anything for her, so do this.

Racism cannot be justified, simply. The fact that you're excusing it disgusts me. Oh please, 'kind' and 'considerate' in the same sentence as 'racist'? There are plenty of EDUCATED, well-brought up girls with the qualities he describes who are not racist. Not very hard to find.

Reply 88

Broderss

If you dump her, give me her number. There aren't too many kind, attractive, intelligent racist women out there.

Reply 89

Evangelica

Original post by Staatssicherheit

Sounds like a keeper. It's good to see not everyone has been brainwashed into multi-cult Britain.

How can you even have a your picture saying "Jesus is my saviour" and make comments like that? Ugh. :vomit:

Reply 90

Broderss

Original post by jamaicangal

Why can racism not be justified and why is it only the 'uneducated' who are racist? I will honestly tell you right now I am racist, and I'm attending a top 15 university.

Reply 91

dmz

Original post by x_Natalie_x

wow, advocating rape? you're worse than her.

wow. Don't know a joke when you see one? You're the worst

Reply 92

Slowbro93

wow, that's deep on so many levels

Reply 93

Girl4907856

Original post by Broderss

Why can racism not be justified and why is it only the 'uneducated' who are racist? I will honestly tell you right now I am racist, and I'm attending a top 15 university.

Hating someone for the colour of their skin, how the hell can that ever be justified? Is it that person's fault they were BORN that way, with no choice? Evidently, if you are that stupid enough to hate someone for their skin colour then you must not be intelligent. Oh please, 'top 15 university' - that just means you possessed the ability to effectively do exams according to what the examiners wanted, listened in class and memorised facts. How does that equate to intelligence?

Reply 94

fruitloops

she's from Devon ffs, she's probably a hillbilly.

Reply 95

U.S Lecce

Original post by Broderss

Why can racism not be justified and why is it only the 'uneducated' who are racist? I will honestly tell you right now I am racist, and I'm attending a top 15 university.

I found this picture of you and your gf, just can't work out which one is the troll :pierre:

:

you:

The gf:

Reply 96

PortiaLovesMcqueen

Original post by U.S Lecce

I found this picture of you and your gf, just can't work out which one is the troll :pierre:

:

you:

The gf:

What an unfortunate looking human being.

Dump her ass

Is racism something that can really be helped? Perhaps, but it depends how ingrained it is.

Reply 99

Evangelica

Original post by Broderss

Why can racism not be justified and why is it only the 'uneducated' who are racist? I will honestly tell you right now I am racist, and I'm attending a top 15 university.