Depression Guide and Personal Experiences (post your experience with Depression)
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My name is Umair Ahmed and I've been suffering from depression for a number of years. I'm not 100% sure when it started, but i'm pretty sure it started when my father past away. From then on it all went downhill. My father's side of the family abandoned us and didn't want to know us anymore and soon my uncle (who was looking after our affairs) betrayed me and then my mother's side of the family began hate us too. I didn't really notice i had a problem until i looked back a few of our home videos when i was much younger. I was really happy and always laughing. Now i probably laugh once every month or 2. So more than 6 years.
I only got officially diagnosed last week when I told my doctor for the first time that I've been feeling like this for a while. He asked me a few questions and told me that I had depression. He's told me to get counselling. I refused to take medication at the moment and want to see how far the counselling goes. To be honest, it's never really gotten better. It's always been the same or worse. My friend committed suicide a few months ago and that made it a whole lot worse, as you would understand. He was a very close friend.
I don't make many friends as i am very shy and quiet, but when i do make friends they turn out to be best friends. At the moment i only have 2 friends that I regularly talk to and that is soon to stop too. One goes to uni and the other is working and has a whole heap of his own problems. So i really have no one to talk to and no friends. Which is why everything is becoming worse slowly.
I don't really cope. I just try to get on with things. I want to go to university in 2013 and i'm hopeful that i will make some really good for life friends there but that's a year away =(.
I have some cousins that are really close and they take away some of the sadness from time to time, but they don't understand what i'm going through because they don't really know what's going on in our family (they are distance cousins).
All in all, No contactable friends, No family and No one to talk to. So it sucks at the moment, but i'm hopeful that things will brighten up soon.
I only got officially diagnosed last week when I told my doctor for the first time that I've been feeling like this for a while. He asked me a few questions and told me that I had depression. He's told me to get counselling. I refused to take medication at the moment and want to see how far the counselling goes. To be honest, it's never really gotten better. It's always been the same or worse. My friend committed suicide a few months ago and that made it a whole lot worse, as you would understand. He was a very close friend.
I don't make many friends as i am very shy and quiet, but when i do make friends they turn out to be best friends. At the moment i only have 2 friends that I regularly talk to and that is soon to stop too. One goes to uni and the other is working and has a whole heap of his own problems. So i really have no one to talk to and no friends. Which is why everything is becoming worse slowly.
I don't really cope. I just try to get on with things. I want to go to university in 2013 and i'm hopeful that i will make some really good for life friends there but that's a year away =(.
I have some cousins that are really close and they take away some of the sadness from time to time, but they don't understand what i'm going through because they don't really know what's going on in our family (they are distance cousins).
All in all, No contactable friends, No family and No one to talk to. So it sucks at the moment, but i'm hopeful that things will brighten up soon.
Please keep anonymous otherwise delete, I don't want others on tsr seeing me like this. My second post, and I find now that my new problem is I can always help others, but can never seem to help myself. I'm not looking for any advice or anything, as i'm sure I will get better, but right now i'm at the f*****g bottom of the barrel. This post is itself a mess, let alone me and sorry for the foul language used btw.
Let's make this plain and simple, my life since early teens has been one long, dark depression, mostly the result and culmination of tragic events, lack of trust, lack of confidence, cold-heartedness, poverty but most importantly loneliness. It's the loneliness that makes it worse because it leaves with too much time to think and overthink and then the negative thinking comes in. Lonely because of very very few friends, and most of family except a few are alot older than I am and had nothing to relate to me with apparently. I thought I had got rid of my depression last year and then I made my first post here back in the summer, but recently it's come back with such a vengance that I can't function properly.
Whenever something good seems to happen to me it turns out to be a poisoned chalice. I manage to f**k up every good opportunity I have even when it's near-impossible to f**k up, and the same for my attempts to better myself - I have only myself to blame. My mental health is so bad I think it's damaged my long-term social development
I suffer from really low self esteem, have tonnes of money issues (I very well could be homeless next year - but that's do with my landlord being a c**t), absolutely ****ing **** time in education, lost all faith in my religion and God. Had the 's' word lingering on my mind for years (no need to worry or panic, that was many years ago and I never did or will do anything irrational like that, I promise). Still am considered a social outcast
The only good thing I have are my grades - it should make me happy - but to me it's just ink on paper. I completely f**k up on friends and relationships which is why i'm at my grand old age and still haven't experienced many of the joys of youth and love outside family - I treasure that more than I would money even though money's important, having someone to talk to would make me more happy than being rich. My confidence is at an all time low.
I mean I know have the security of my parents and some family members - but let's face it - they're not going to live or be around forever and when they sadly pass, I know that i'm going to be by myself with most of the time spent at work - just working myself to the grave. I don't really get on with the rest of my family either (like I said before only a select few). Others are envious of millionaires and celebrities - i'm only envious of those with a healthy state of mind, a normal life and a normal family.
Only on TSR have I seen people with similar experiences to me, my area's full of c***s just milling around the joint, though everyone would probably think that i'm the biggest c**t that ever lived.
It's amazing that in a big city such as London which has so many people from different countries, you can get so dangerously lonely and invisible and find it hard to make any friendships at all. (Again I know, myself to blame)
However
I do not come across as this sort of person. I am perceived as confident and such and if you saw me in the street - by the way I dress, look, walk and act, depression would be the furthest thing from your mind. On TSR as well, i've given advice to others in my exact same position as if i've fully recovered from depression and this brash, social personality, but i'm not. I always seem to derive some sort of **** purpose from helping others even when it's me that needs the help or is suffering. I must seem like a whiny bastard
The thing is, I know how to achieve the things I want in life - it's just that I can never seem to get myself motivated enough to do it. It's easier said than done. I'm great at helping others with their problems (at work, neighbors, TSR, etc, always attempting to help others, motivate others, give advice) etc, but can never seem to help myself My aim in life is to just get my ****ing life in control and order because it all starts with me (no one can teach me these things) - see look i've identified what I have to do and I don't even do it. I can't even make sense of my situation from what i've written. I never ever thought I would be in this position, but as it stands I haven't yet fully recovered from depression. I just hope I can overcome it fully this time. Oh well, **** it, let me get another bottle of Jack Daniels to get me to sleep now.
Let's make this plain and simple, my life since early teens has been one long, dark depression, mostly the result and culmination of tragic events, lack of trust, lack of confidence, cold-heartedness, poverty but most importantly loneliness. It's the loneliness that makes it worse because it leaves with too much time to think and overthink and then the negative thinking comes in. Lonely because of very very few friends, and most of family except a few are alot older than I am and had nothing to relate to me with apparently. I thought I had got rid of my depression last year and then I made my first post here back in the summer, but recently it's come back with such a vengance that I can't function properly.
Whenever something good seems to happen to me it turns out to be a poisoned chalice. I manage to f**k up every good opportunity I have even when it's near-impossible to f**k up, and the same for my attempts to better myself - I have only myself to blame. My mental health is so bad I think it's damaged my long-term social development
I suffer from really low self esteem, have tonnes of money issues (I very well could be homeless next year - but that's do with my landlord being a c**t), absolutely ****ing **** time in education, lost all faith in my religion and God. Had the 's' word lingering on my mind for years (no need to worry or panic, that was many years ago and I never did or will do anything irrational like that, I promise). Still am considered a social outcast
The only good thing I have are my grades - it should make me happy - but to me it's just ink on paper. I completely f**k up on friends and relationships which is why i'm at my grand old age and still haven't experienced many of the joys of youth and love outside family - I treasure that more than I would money even though money's important, having someone to talk to would make me more happy than being rich. My confidence is at an all time low.
I mean I know have the security of my parents and some family members - but let's face it - they're not going to live or be around forever and when they sadly pass, I know that i'm going to be by myself with most of the time spent at work - just working myself to the grave. I don't really get on with the rest of my family either (like I said before only a select few). Others are envious of millionaires and celebrities - i'm only envious of those with a healthy state of mind, a normal life and a normal family.
Only on TSR have I seen people with similar experiences to me, my area's full of c***s just milling around the joint, though everyone would probably think that i'm the biggest c**t that ever lived.
It's amazing that in a big city such as London which has so many people from different countries, you can get so dangerously lonely and invisible and find it hard to make any friendships at all. (Again I know, myself to blame)
However
I do not come across as this sort of person. I am perceived as confident and such and if you saw me in the street - by the way I dress, look, walk and act, depression would be the furthest thing from your mind. On TSR as well, i've given advice to others in my exact same position as if i've fully recovered from depression and this brash, social personality, but i'm not. I always seem to derive some sort of **** purpose from helping others even when it's me that needs the help or is suffering. I must seem like a whiny bastard
The thing is, I know how to achieve the things I want in life - it's just that I can never seem to get myself motivated enough to do it. It's easier said than done. I'm great at helping others with their problems (at work, neighbors, TSR, etc, always attempting to help others, motivate others, give advice) etc, but can never seem to help myself My aim in life is to just get my ****ing life in control and order because it all starts with me (no one can teach me these things) - see look i've identified what I have to do and I don't even do it. I can't even make sense of my situation from what i've written. I never ever thought I would be in this position, but as it stands I haven't yet fully recovered from depression. I just hope I can overcome it fully this time. Oh well, **** it, let me get another bottle of Jack Daniels to get me to sleep now.
I'm not sure this is the right place to post this because I've never been officially diagnosed with depression. I'm not even sure if it's depression or something else but for the past year or so I've been feeling kind of unhinged. It's affected my relationships with my friends and my boyfriend, who recently broke up with me because he couldn't handle me anymore. I've been struggling to deal with normal things and it seems like I cry all the time. Sometimes I get really hysterical and almost have what my ex describes as a panic attack. I've spent a whole day crying hysterically because he wouldn't answer my phone call and towards the end of our relationship I became really clingy and relied on him too much. I'd get angry with him for trivial things and almost broke up with him on numerous occasions because I was paranoid about him cheating on me or was worried that he didn't care about me. It seems to be silly things that set me off and this makes things worse. I hate myself for being so weak and crying all the time but this usually leads to me becoming uncontrollably angry and I just end up hurting myself in some way. I've lost confidence in myself. I used to really enjoy horse riding but I can't anymore because I'm just too scared. I'm reluctant to even ride the horses at the stables I volunteer at, even though I know they're harmless because they've been specially trained to look after disabled riders. I don't know what's triggered all of this and I don't know how to stop it. I'm reluctant to waste the time of a counselor or a doctor about it because I feel like I'm wasting their time. I've always felt like I have no reason to be this way, all of my other friends have so many other problems to deal with. I don't have any family problems, was never bullied, I do reasonably well at school and I feel like I have no right to feel like this. I've only ever confided in my ex about it and I'm unwilling to tell anyone else. He says he still cares about me and wants to help but that he can't be with me when I'm like this. I still love him and didn't want to break up with him, I just want to be normal again so that I can try and make it up to him.
Hi there, just because you’ve had a privileged upbringing doesn’t mean you’re immune to suffering from depression or anxiety. Not all problems are related to upbringing, I too have suffered from depression and felt that I oughtn’t- also coming from a happy, wealthy family. I had to realise that it’s okay to be sad, or depressed- despite how good things seem from the outside. Saying you cannot suffer depression because you have a seemingly good life is like saying you cannot suffer measles or chickenpox. It can affect anyone, anywhere at any given time- and it’s perfectly natural and normal. I also recently went through a difficult break-up where I was also reliant on my partner. But after all the weeks of pain and emotion, I realised I shouldn’t need to rely on anyone to feel happy. A good relationship adds to how you feel, doesn’t subtract. It sounds that you did not trust him- I felt this way too. I felt as if I wasn’t good enough. You need to know you cannot trust him, or rid yourself of these suspicions because these trust issues stem from your own low self-esteem. Only you can change that about yourself. You cannot make yourself trust him, and you cannot make him take you back. That is his loss- you deserve to be happy, and be with someone that makes you happy. He did not make you happy- he was merely present. You need to learn to love yourself, be happy with yourself and be content with being in your own company before you can let others in.
From the sounds of it, you ought to see someone about your harming and low self-esteem. Just know that there is no shame in how you feel, that most people will feel this way at some point in your life and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There are other ways to get rid of your anger other than harm- try going for a walk and get fresh air, read a book, listen to some music, take a relaxing bath. Try to do something productive and relaxing. You deserve to treat yourself, and relax. You need to look after yourself, both physically and mentally. You will feel much better when you realise how much you can do without him. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help- getting all these things off your chest to someone that can help will be cathartic for you. Do not feel that you are wasting Doctors’ time- it’s their job to listen and deal with your problems and believe me, they will have dealt with far more challenging issues. You don’t even need to tell a doctor- you can tell a teacher, parent/guardian/family member, friend or anyone you trust. You can even talk to me.
From the sounds of it, you ought to see someone about your harming and low self-esteem. Just know that there is no shame in how you feel, that most people will feel this way at some point in your life and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There are other ways to get rid of your anger other than harm- try going for a walk and get fresh air, read a book, listen to some music, take a relaxing bath. Try to do something productive and relaxing. You deserve to treat yourself, and relax. You need to look after yourself, both physically and mentally. You will feel much better when you realise how much you can do without him. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help- getting all these things off your chest to someone that can help will be cathartic for you. Do not feel that you are wasting Doctors’ time- it’s their job to listen and deal with your problems and believe me, they will have dealt with far more challenging issues. You don’t even need to tell a doctor- you can tell a teacher, parent/guardian/family member, friend or anyone you trust. You can even talk to me.
Original post by DuncanJinks
Who you are
Fresher (18)
When it started
Started having bouts of extreme "upset when I was about 9 when I realised I had many "best friends", but wasn't anybody else's "best friend". First self harm / fake suicide attempts when 13/14 after a girl whom I though at the time I loved hurt me badly. First serious suicide attempt [H2O2, guess it must have reduced before I took it as I'm still here] when I was 15, within a week stated a relationship with my now ex.It started badly with false pregnancy scare after first "**** buddy meet" (how I lost my virginity), to which she told her mum (her best friend) that I'd raped her to make her mum not have bad thoughts about her (only just found out this, 3 years later), so obviously had issues. We broke up 2 years after it started in a messy break-up (messiest I've ever seen/heard of) and I spent 1.5 months in a pit of hell of my own mind. It was at the end of that period we started going out again, we spent an amazing year together, 3 weeks ago, after a few arguments, we split up (freshers and everything), it was semi mutual as I see why she wouldn't want to be with me (I had major trust issues with her after first split)... but we said we'd always be friends (I still love her, she said she still loves me). I last spoke to her properly on Monday (her second day at freshers) and she reiterated our friendship, and another promise she'd made (she wouldn't be/couldn't think of being with another person for another year [I never expected her to last a whole year, but...]). On Thursday I find out she's shagging and has a proper relationship with another boy (a total lad stereotype, very different to me), and since that talk on Tuesday she's ignored or hung up every call I've made to her. She sent me a single text "Please dont ring me". Deleted me on Fb etcetc.
Lowest I've ever felt.
Feel very close to the end, even with support from my family who I've told how I am.
How long you've had it
Near enough all my life I've been me.
Official diagnosis
Gonna try get one on Monday.
(although family history of mental health issues and multiple members of direct family unit on anti-depressants)
Therapy/medication
Gonna try get some on Monday.
When it got worse/when it got better
Worse now (when I broke up with her, but I obviously had patches whilst we were going out, I was happy, she was, then the next day I felt like **** for no reason) ; better, Even when I'm with people here, it's not better; in the past, the only thing that got me out of it was being with this girl.
How has it affected your life?
Practically unbearable / tried to take my life / might again soon. I dream of committing suicide - completely subconsciously.
How you are coping now.
Tried to commit suicide last night, I phoned my sister to say sorry/good bye with the noose around my neck, but her tears managed to get me to go to hers instead (across the country). Doctors Monday (if I make it).
Just in case you read this;
I love you Rachel, and always will.
Fresher (18)
When it started
Started having bouts of extreme "upset when I was about 9 when I realised I had many "best friends", but wasn't anybody else's "best friend". First self harm / fake suicide attempts when 13/14 after a girl whom I though at the time I loved hurt me badly. First serious suicide attempt [H2O2, guess it must have reduced before I took it as I'm still here] when I was 15, within a week stated a relationship with my now ex.It started badly with false pregnancy scare after first "**** buddy meet" (how I lost my virginity), to which she told her mum (her best friend) that I'd raped her to make her mum not have bad thoughts about her (only just found out this, 3 years later), so obviously had issues. We broke up 2 years after it started in a messy break-up (messiest I've ever seen/heard of) and I spent 1.5 months in a pit of hell of my own mind. It was at the end of that period we started going out again, we spent an amazing year together, 3 weeks ago, after a few arguments, we split up (freshers and everything), it was semi mutual as I see why she wouldn't want to be with me (I had major trust issues with her after first split)... but we said we'd always be friends (I still love her, she said she still loves me). I last spoke to her properly on Monday (her second day at freshers) and she reiterated our friendship, and another promise she'd made (she wouldn't be/couldn't think of being with another person for another year [I never expected her to last a whole year, but...]). On Thursday I find out she's shagging and has a proper relationship with another boy (a total lad stereotype, very different to me), and since that talk on Tuesday she's ignored or hung up every call I've made to her. She sent me a single text "Please dont ring me". Deleted me on Fb etcetc.
Lowest I've ever felt.
Feel very close to the end, even with support from my family who I've told how I am.
How long you've had it
Near enough all my life I've been me.
Official diagnosis
Gonna try get one on Monday.
(although family history of mental health issues and multiple members of direct family unit on anti-depressants)
Therapy/medication
Gonna try get some on Monday.
When it got worse/when it got better
Worse now (when I broke up with her, but I obviously had patches whilst we were going out, I was happy, she was, then the next day I felt like **** for no reason) ; better, Even when I'm with people here, it's not better; in the past, the only thing that got me out of it was being with this girl.
How has it affected your life?
Practically unbearable / tried to take my life / might again soon. I dream of committing suicide - completely subconsciously.
How you are coping now.
Tried to commit suicide last night, I phoned my sister to say sorry/good bye with the noose around my neck, but her tears managed to get me to go to hers instead (across the country). Doctors Monday (if I make it).
Just in case you read this;
I love you Rachel, and always will.
I had a similar experience recently, I had been going out with a boy for 3 years and I had some emotional issues going on and I was diagnosed with depression, although I'm not convinced that was the correct diagnosis. I relied on him for everything, he was pretty much my only emotional support. He finally decided he'd had enough and broke up with me. I was really upset, I thought he was the only thing that would make me better and things got worse for a few weeks after we broke up, I couldn't control the outbursts that I used to be able to hide from teachers, friends and family. We decided to stay friends but he messed me around a bit, telling me he still loved me and being overly touchy with me when we met up. At a party we both went to, he was trying to hit on other girls and had apparently been making claims to my friends that he was going to make a move on them. I was told that he had cheated numerous times during our relationship but had never told me, when I confronted him, he acted like a complete arse and tried to justify his actions.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is if she's treating you like this, she's not worth it and she's not the person you fell in love with. I don't know if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but it seems like she's been messing around with your feelings. I can't imagine how hard it is for you just now, but please don't take your life. I know you said that even being with other people at uni isn't helping but you'll find someone who will help you through it and will appreciate you. If you ever need someone to talk to, just message me.
The doctor today told me i had to miss my lectures and go straight to the Mental health Crisis team in A+E, who, after a long psych analysis, didn't tell me anything except ask for contact numbers, and to see me at my GP on Wednesday (didn't really want them in my room)
Still don't know if I can make it till then, the only thing improving my days are nicotine fixes which I've just really (Saturday night) started as a habit, rather than my old 1-3 a month...
Can anyone suggest what to do, I think I'll be okay tonight, but I don't know if I'll be able to make it to 12 tomorrow, no matter Wednesday 4pm :/
I feel worse by the second :/
The only person I can talk to is my sister, and she's in Sheffield :/
Still don't know if I can make it till then, the only thing improving my days are nicotine fixes which I've just really (Saturday night) started as a habit, rather than my old 1-3 a month...
Can anyone suggest what to do, I think I'll be okay tonight, but I don't know if I'll be able to make it to 12 tomorrow, no matter Wednesday 4pm :/
I feel worse by the second :/
The only person I can talk to is my sister, and she's in Sheffield :/
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(edited 11 years ago)
deleted
(edited 11 years ago)
Ive been depressed since I was 11, im 19 now and still depressed. Been through an abusive relationship, had problem after problem in life, went through a confidence crisis always felt like an outsider. Had very few peoplee I could turn to in times of need. things spiraled out of controll started self harming at 14, very addictive. got put on citalopram at 18, was on that for a year. then something happened that made me felt like crap, got put on mirtazizapine. Citalopram gave me scary dreams usualy to do with suicide. increased sweating and my heart was beating hard, felt like it was going to jump out of its cage. then something happened which made me slit my wrisits, went back to docs got changed onto mirtazizpine, gets ur apetite back, knocks u out, hard to get up in the morning. sleepy most of the time. Had a **** life= depression.
Original post by Ape Gone Insane
Personal experiences:
Personal experiences:
•
Who you are
•
When it started
•
How long you've had it
•
Official diagnosis
•
Therapy/medication
•
When it got worse/when it got better
•
How has it affected your life?
•
How you are coping now.
Wow. I'm Chloe, I've been suffering for a year and a half, so, since when I just turned 15.
When I was 15, my mum went mad. Thinking everyone was conspiring against her. Which obviously wasn't true. She accused my stepfather of inducing her seizures (she's severely epileptic). Yeah it was crazy.
Broke down more than a few times, so my body shut down, I went numb for what felt like forever. Saw a doctor, diagnosed with PTSD and depression in May 2011.
Since then my life has been a rollercoaster of rising and falling. Been good for two months, fell again for two months. That happens, that's life for me, often on more of a short-term basis. Up and down 6 or 7 times every day. Never OK. Always amazing or terrible.
Went on fluoxetine sometime, it make the swings worse, then went on carbomazepine. And that does nothing either, other than screw up my periods.
I tried to kill myself twice in summer. I won't go into details for obvious reasons. They wanted me to go to hospital, I point-blank refused.
And I lived to tell the tale.
Got 11 A*s at GCSE through perseverance and sheer determination. AMAZING.
I have days where I want to die, or want to sleep forever, or want to give up fighting and do I don't even know what.
Then I have days where I could hug everyone and dance forever and cartwheel one million times.
It's hard. It's really hard.
Had a bad, bad weak. But I have the most amazing support, luckily for me.
I will Comeback.
Original post by Gettingthere
Wow. I'm Chloe, I've been suffering for a year and a half, so, since when I just turned 15.
When I was 15, my mum went mad. Thinking everyone was conspiring against her. Which obviously wasn't true. She accused my stepfather of inducing her seizures (she's severely epileptic). Yeah it was crazy.
Broke down more than a few times, so my body shut down, I went numb for what felt like forever. Saw a doctor, diagnosed with PTSD and depression in May 2011.
Since then my life has been a rollercoaster of rising and falling. Been good for two months, fell again for two months. That happens, that's life for me, often on more of a short-term basis. Up and down 6 or 7 times every day. Never OK. Always amazing or terrible.
Went on fluoxetine sometime, it make the swings worse, then went on carbomazepine. And that does nothing either, other than screw up my periods.
I tried to kill myself twice in summer. I won't go into details for obvious reasons. They wanted me to go to hospital, I point-blank refused.
And I lived to tell the tale.
Got 11 A*s at GCSE through perseverance and sheer determination. AMAZING.
I have days where I want to die, or want to sleep forever, or want to give up fighting and do I don't even know what.
Then I have days where I could hug everyone and dance forever and cartwheel one million times.
It's hard. It's really hard.
Had a bad, bad weak. But I have the most amazing support, luckily for me.
I will Comeback.
When I was 15, my mum went mad. Thinking everyone was conspiring against her. Which obviously wasn't true. She accused my stepfather of inducing her seizures (she's severely epileptic). Yeah it was crazy.
Broke down more than a few times, so my body shut down, I went numb for what felt like forever. Saw a doctor, diagnosed with PTSD and depression in May 2011.
Since then my life has been a rollercoaster of rising and falling. Been good for two months, fell again for two months. That happens, that's life for me, often on more of a short-term basis. Up and down 6 or 7 times every day. Never OK. Always amazing or terrible.
Went on fluoxetine sometime, it make the swings worse, then went on carbomazepine. And that does nothing either, other than screw up my periods.
I tried to kill myself twice in summer. I won't go into details for obvious reasons. They wanted me to go to hospital, I point-blank refused.
And I lived to tell the tale.
Got 11 A*s at GCSE through perseverance and sheer determination. AMAZING.
I have days where I want to die, or want to sleep forever, or want to give up fighting and do I don't even know what.
Then I have days where I could hug everyone and dance forever and cartwheel one million times.
It's hard. It's really hard.
Had a bad, bad weak. But I have the most amazing support, luckily for me.
I will Comeback.
If you have the support, the friends there, that's what matters - My "safety net" as the doctors like to call it is my family. I can't really fall back on them (I probably could, but in my head I can't) But I don't wanna hurt them, its a great way of keeping myself from killing myself. Always remember, it's not just how you feel.
What I've gone through is nothing compared to you, but the feelings people share in this experience must be the same, that rock bottom low, so well done for pulling through... have a cookie
How's Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? My psych discharged me 2 weeks ago(from the mental health crisis team unit), and that night I almost topped myself, even the "safety net" failed... told my (new) GP this today, she ran a couple of tests which came out as 'Severely depressed' and just prescribed it... starting it tomorrow morning.
Any bad side effects you've had?
Also, anyone know of the effects of drinking when on Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? Thanks
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by DuncanJinks
How's Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? My psych discharged me 2 weeks ago(from the mental health crisis team unit), and that night I almost topped myself, even the "safety net" failed... told my (new) GP this today, she ran a couple of tests which came out as 'Severely depressed' and just prescribed it... starting it tomorrow morning.
Any bad side effects you've had?
Also, anyone know of the effects of drinking when on Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? Thanks
Any bad side effects you've had?
Also, anyone know of the effects of drinking when on Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? Thanks
You'll probably find you feel the effects of alcohol a lot quicker. When I've drunk on SSRIs I find that I'm pretty drunk after just a couple of drinks, they made me such a lightweight. Alcohol isn't advised but if you're going to drink do it with people you know and make sure you take it slow.
I had a somewhat atypical reaction to fluoxetine so I'm not going to go into detail about that but you might feel nauseous, get a headache, weird dreams, struggle sleeping/sleeping too much, maybe a decrease in your sex drive. Most of this should wear off in a couple of weeks. Don't expect to see any real positive change for 6-8 weeks.
Good luck!
Original post by Sabertooth
You'll probably find you feel the effects of alcohol a lot quicker. When I've drunk on SSRIs I find that I'm pretty drunk after just a couple of drinks, they made me such a lightweight. Alcohol isn't advised but if you're going to drink do it with people you know and make sure you take it slow.
I had a somewhat atypical reaction to fluoxetine so I'm not going to go into detail about that but you might feel nauseous, get a headache, weird dreams, struggle sleeping/sleeping too much, maybe a decrease in your sex drive. Most of this should wear off in a couple of weeks. Don't expect to see any real positive change for 6-8 weeks.
Good luck!
I had a somewhat atypical reaction to fluoxetine so I'm not going to go into detail about that but you might feel nauseous, get a headache, weird dreams, struggle sleeping/sleeping too much, maybe a decrease in your sex drive. Most of this should wear off in a couple of weeks. Don't expect to see any real positive change for 6-8 weeks.
Good luck!
Thankyou, very helpful.. i've read that side effects stuff in the leaflet, not great but not certain too happen... what happened to you? My GP only gave me 14days worth so she can check to see if it's having side effects before proper repeat prescriptions. What did happen to you?
Thankyou for the alcohol advice literally it says "Do not drink alcohol whilst taking fluoxetine." in small writing, i mean, how helpful is that???
So, its okay to drink, just take it real slow and steady in safe company?
Ta
Original post by DuncanJinks
Thankyou, very helpful.. i've read that side effects stuff in the leaflet, not great but not certain too happen... what happened to you? My GP only gave me 14days worth so she can check to see if it's having side effects before proper repeat prescriptions. What did happen to you?
Thankyou for the alcohol advice literally it says "Do not drink alcohol whilst taking fluoxetine." in small writing, i mean, how helpful is that???
So, its okay to drink, just take it real slow and steady in safe company?
Ta
Thankyou for the alcohol advice literally it says "Do not drink alcohol whilst taking fluoxetine." in small writing, i mean, how helpful is that???
So, its okay to drink, just take it real slow and steady in safe company?
Ta
Yeah that sounds like good thinking on your doctor's part. And yeah just take it slow with the drinking until you know how it affects you.
Basically I reacted badly to fluoxetine. It was like the worst flu possible. I had a massive headache, my ears hurt, my face hurt, every muscle in my body hurt whenever I tried to get out of bed, I was really hot and really cold, my thinking was really slow and clouded, I kept shaking, I felt really really anxious, I couldn't sleep, when I did get some sleep I got the worst nightmares imaginable, I threw up a bunch of times. I took 4 doses before deciding I couldn't take any more it was too awful. However, I've taken a lot of antidepressants and fluoxetine is the only one where I got anything that bad so don't worry about it, it's unlikely to happen to you.
I was in therapy and on medication while in the US. Felt like my depression was finally subsiding. Came here to the UK for my masters, life took a 180.
Housing put me in a flat where during fresher's week I was alone in my flat. They somehow managed to put 4 females from the far east in my flat (unlucky is what the housing manager called it). They prefer to speak in Mandarin only, don't drink, don't go, and only hang out with other asians.
So after hitting that brick wall at 50mph I went from being hopeful about coming to the UK and starting from scratch. So far I've slipped farther in depression than I have in years to point where I feel like hurting myself.
Apparently 6 sessions with the therapist at the couseling center is all you get, then I have a month of nothing then a review session in the beginning of december.
I've always had a problem talking to people, mainly due to getting jumped and put into a hospital for a week twice during my undergrad years.
Housing put me in a flat where during fresher's week I was alone in my flat. They somehow managed to put 4 females from the far east in my flat (unlucky is what the housing manager called it). They prefer to speak in Mandarin only, don't drink, don't go, and only hang out with other asians.
So after hitting that brick wall at 50mph I went from being hopeful about coming to the UK and starting from scratch. So far I've slipped farther in depression than I have in years to point where I feel like hurting myself.
Apparently 6 sessions with the therapist at the couseling center is all you get, then I have a month of nothing then a review session in the beginning of december.
I've always had a problem talking to people, mainly due to getting jumped and put into a hospital for a week twice during my undergrad years.
Original post by DuncanJinks
Any bad side effects you've had?
Also, anyone know of the effects of drinking when on Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? Thanks
Also, anyone know of the effects of drinking when on Fluoxetine Hydrochloride? Thanks
It made my moods swing even worse. They thought I was just depressed, not like, whatever I am. I don't actually know what is wrong with me! That was all though. All in all, it didn't do much for me.
I hate to say this, but it's renowned for kinda being the drug that is given first, nothing really comes of it, people tend to swap and changed meds from there.
When I was drinking on it, I felt alcohol more, less would get me more drunk than usual if that makes sense. I believe it's safe to drink with it, at least moderately. I drank heavily on a few occasions, never did me any harm.
Made me less happy, made me down when I was drunk with fluoxetine. Although I have that tendancy anyway.
For more, look on the massive folded peice of paper in the box of your tablets. That will definitely give you something.
Sorry, only read after I posted this that it just says Don't drink with fluoxetine. How helpful indeed!
Who you are: Gummibaerchen
When it started:
Suspected when I was very young around 9 but diagnosed aged 15
How long you've had it:
Diagnosed almost 5 years
Official diagnosis:
Severe treatment resistant depression and anxiety (misdiagnosed previously as depression, then bipolar)
Therapy/medication:
See a psychologist and psychiatrist - I was previously on anti depressants (citalopram and venlafaxine and others I can't remember) however when diagnosed with treatment resistant I came off them
When it got worse/when it got better:
It got worse when I was 15 I admitted to a member of family I had been sexually abused aged 9 and I wasn't ready to tell my parents I needed a couple of days to do that. They ignored my plea and told them which turned everything doubly upside down.
It continued to go down hill when I went to boarding school.
It got better this year seeing a psychologist weekly and psychiatrist monthly as well as coming off anti depressants.
How has it affected your life?
I didn't go to school in year 11 so self taught my GCSEs. Then proceeded to go to boarding school, lied that my depression was under control and screwed up my A levels. Now I am at another 6th form on target for AAAA.
How you are coping now.
Depression wise I am stable however I have problems with binge eating and then stopping eating for periods of time. Anxiety is no where near as bad as it used to be but I still struggle occasionally. Lacking motivation for anything at the moment and my weight is really getting me down.
When it started:
Suspected when I was very young around 9 but diagnosed aged 15
How long you've had it:
Diagnosed almost 5 years
Official diagnosis:
Severe treatment resistant depression and anxiety (misdiagnosed previously as depression, then bipolar)
Therapy/medication:
See a psychologist and psychiatrist - I was previously on anti depressants (citalopram and venlafaxine and others I can't remember) however when diagnosed with treatment resistant I came off them
When it got worse/when it got better:
It got worse when I was 15 I admitted to a member of family I had been sexually abused aged 9 and I wasn't ready to tell my parents I needed a couple of days to do that. They ignored my plea and told them which turned everything doubly upside down.
It continued to go down hill when I went to boarding school.
It got better this year seeing a psychologist weekly and psychiatrist monthly as well as coming off anti depressants.
How has it affected your life?
I didn't go to school in year 11 so self taught my GCSEs. Then proceeded to go to boarding school, lied that my depression was under control and screwed up my A levels. Now I am at another 6th form on target for AAAA.
How you are coping now.
Depression wise I am stable however I have problems with binge eating and then stopping eating for periods of time. Anxiety is no where near as bad as it used to be but I still struggle occasionally. Lacking motivation for anything at the moment and my weight is really getting me down.
sorry about my last post was unfair to post on this site.
(edited 11 years ago)
Hi everyone Reading these accounts gives me a lot of inspiration to just keep going. I'm going to try and keep my story as short as possible, so here goes!
Up until year 12, I had a fantastic life. Straight A*s at GCSE, got on well with teachers, etc. I wasn't ever considered one of the 'popular' people, but I was really happy in my own skin and didn't really care what other people thought of me.
During year 12, I started to get very, very apathetic towards everything. Even things like getting out of bed would be very hard to achieve (and yeah, I started seeing them as achievements instead of normal daily necessities). I received AAAB at the end of the year and quite frankly, I hadn't revised as much as I should have. As a perfectionist, I was distraught. I hated myself for that B. I felt worthless. It sounds crazy, but I don't judge other people at all for their grades - I just knew that I was more capable than the low As and Bs that I received. It angered me that I hadn't tried to achieve what I knew I could. I cried a great deal. I felt like a failure.
Year 13 was a mess. I tried and failed to get into a certain university and felt rubbish. My brother was thought to have cancer in the autumn term. My parents were being horrible to each other. My dad lost his job. I took personal responsibility for all of this, in a strange sort of way. I hated myself.
I sought counselling and have now been referred to CBT because I need to sort my life out. By some miracle (I literally don't have any idea how this happened) I managed to get A*AAA at A-level, despite breaking down in two exams and crying uncontrollably in front of my peers. I cried on results day because I was so happy to get an A* in the subject I want to study at university. However, on seeing my teachers and telling them that I wanted to apply to Oxbridge, they told me that I had a 'slim' chance because I 'didn't even have two A*s, I only had one.' This distressed me. I was even told that I may not get an interview. I honestly know that they were trying to be straight with me and kind in their own way, but it did nothing to help my low self-esteem. I feel currently as if everyone has given up on me. I have had to stop seeing my counsellor as CBT doesn't want two 'talking' therapies occuring at the same time. This also distresses me. I feel there is no-one to talk to now.
I have a university interview in one and a half weeks. I want to come across as 'normal' (I hate that term, sorry for using it but I can't think of anything else to say) and it's scaring me immensely. I should probably also say that I was diagnosed as having moderately severe depression and severe anxiety.
Anyway - thanks for reading, if you have.
Reading these accounts gives me a lot of inspiration to just keep going. I'm going to try and keep my story as short as possible, so here goes!Up until year 12, I had a fantastic life. Straight A*s at GCSE, got on well with teachers, etc. I wasn't ever considered one of the 'popular' people, but I was really happy in my own skin and didn't really care what other people thought of me.
During year 12, I started to get very, very apathetic towards everything. Even things like getting out of bed would be very hard to achieve (and yeah, I started seeing them as achievements instead of normal daily necessities). I received AAAB at the end of the year and quite frankly, I hadn't revised as much as I should have. As a perfectionist, I was distraught. I hated myself for that B. I felt worthless. It sounds crazy, but I don't judge other people at all for their grades - I just knew that I was more capable than the low As and Bs that I received. It angered me that I hadn't tried to achieve what I knew I could. I cried a great deal. I felt like a failure.
Year 13 was a mess. I tried and failed to get into a certain university and felt rubbish. My brother was thought to have cancer in the autumn term. My parents were being horrible to each other. My dad lost his job. I took personal responsibility for all of this, in a strange sort of way. I hated myself.
I sought counselling and have now been referred to CBT because I need to sort my life out. By some miracle (I literally don't have any idea how this happened) I managed to get A*AAA at A-level, despite breaking down in two exams and crying uncontrollably in front of my peers. I cried on results day because I was so happy to get an A* in the subject I want to study at university. However, on seeing my teachers and telling them that I wanted to apply to Oxbridge, they told me that I had a 'slim' chance because I 'didn't even have two A*s, I only had one.' This distressed me. I was even told that I may not get an interview. I honestly know that they were trying to be straight with me and kind in their own way, but it did nothing to help my low self-esteem. I feel currently as if everyone has given up on me. I have had to stop seeing my counsellor as CBT doesn't want two 'talking' therapies occuring at the same time. This also distresses me. I feel there is no-one to talk to now.
I have a university interview in one and a half weeks. I want to come across as 'normal' (I hate that term, sorry for using it but I can't think of anything else to say) and it's scaring me immensely. I should probably also say that I was diagnosed as having moderately severe depression and severe anxiety.
Anyway - thanks for reading, if you have.
