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Maths Jokes?

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A: "What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute maths student?"
B:"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
A:"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
B:"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 81

Intriguing Alias

Original post by TheMagicMan

The bst I can offer:

A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."

A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

Or possibly:

A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."

The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning..."

"...so if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer. But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.

"Well," he says, "first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical..."