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Anxiety experiences and support

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    (Original post by Beebumble)
    Hi, I really need to get focused on my work tbh. I think I've given myself a bit too many days off and I really need to rack up these grades fast in order to get into my first choice uni. I'm half way through the course and haven't got near half the amount of merits I need to meet my offer! So yeah that's stressful but I decided to make use of the tasks app on my phone and set dates and times where I should work on certain pieces of work so hopefully that can make things clearer for me.

    I think I'm nocturnal! I don't feel tired at all at night but the rest of the day I'm shattered. Might try what you said and I've banned myself from going on the current affairs forum seeing as I seem to be getting really sensitive and I'm getting unnecessarily stressed by stupid people.

    Thanks for your advice.:hugs:
    I understand. In that case, do whatever you can (and sounds like you already are) to motivate yourself into getting the work done. Setting times sounds like a good plan, and you could try other things like planning what you will reward yourself with after X amount of work, and stuff like that.

    I know just how you feel My sleeping patterns have never been 'normal'. Just go with it I think is the best advice. If you feel really tired in the day, just try having a nap - just half an hour or an hour. Humans weren't really designed to sleep in one block anyway, and if it works for you then it can be a good routine to get into. And similarly, if you're not tired at night, and feel like you're not going to be sleeping anyway, you may as well see if you can get anything productive done. Don't keep yourself up if you feel tired obviously, but if you've got the nervous energy keeping you awake, then there's no harm in utilising it to do something useful.

    :hugs: No worries.
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    (Original post by Beebumble)
    Hi, I really need to get focused on my work tbh. I think I've given myself a bit too many days off and I really need to rack up these grades fast in order to get into my first choice uni. I'm half way through the course and haven't got near half the amount of merits I need to meet my offer! So yeah that's stressful but I decided to make use of the tasks app on my phone and set dates and times where I should work on certain pieces of work so hopefully that can make things clearer for me.

    I think I'm nocturnal! I don't feel tired at all at night but the rest of the day I'm shattered. Might try what you said and I've banned myself from going on the current affairs forum seeing as I seem to be getting really sensitive and I'm getting unnecessarily stressed by stupid people.

    Thanks for your advice.:hugs:
    Well, we even had one at University working the whole night and sleeping during the day. (It was calmer in the night, too.)

    Can you work wihtout your Laptop on? I often get quite tired by using the laptop in addition to the various attractions it proposes...

    What works pretty good is to say, "I am know working 5 minutes". After the five minutes you often have the concentration to work longer.

    You can allow you larger breaks, one hour can pass quite fast and two hours give you much more space to relax.

    Hm, don't know if that helps, but perhaps...who knows...
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    Yesterday I had an open day/interview at my favourite university. I really don't know how it went. On one hand, I made friends, was chatty with them and I didn't blush too much or stammer in my interview, so for my standards it went well. I'm really put off by something that happened before the interview though. I was asked why I wanted to study my course by a lab technician in front of a group of strangers and I just just stuttered 'uh umm ah ha' and snorted out a laugh. He didn't say anything, just stared in my direction for ten seconds and moved on. He didn't even ask anyone else :/
    I'm so worried everyone thought I was stupid and I'm worried I won't get an offer because I didn't get a chance to say much in the interview. I'm even MORE worried about an interview I have next week for a university I only put down to fill up my choices. It's too far away to get there on time but I'm so scared they'll arrange a different time for me. I just don't wanna go in general xD

    Yeah, sorry I just need to say it all on here, you're all so nice.
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    (Original post by mikeylfc1989)
    I guess, I don't do intentionally, but that's probably why. It's probably natural for people with SA to hide weakness, we are sensitive folk...

    I actually do the same; I keep in shape, workout, look after my skin/teeth. I won't leave the house unless I'm comfortable with how I look. I know it's irrational as I have never been told anything other than I'm good looking, never been bullied or anything. Still, making an effort is only positive. Ah, I'm starting to sound as vain as you... (jk)

    Even with close friends I struggle. If we're out, I'll be anxious looking around and thinking I should have stayed at home, then I'll have a few drinks and be fine for a couple of hours, and after that, I just get really tired and lose all motivation\enjoyment. Being quiet for a long time is really exhausting, making you hyper aware of everything and yourself. I have improved a little on that, unless it's with people I don't know, people who are loud/unpredictable or if I'm tired. Also hate noise, I can't think clearly and it sets my anxiety right off.

    How weird is all that ^
    I just don't know how I happen to be like this.
    Hah. I know, but confidence can only be good. If I don't make the same effort with my appearance, I can barely look people in the eye, so self conscious when people even glance at me, blush more, just feel inferior in comparison with anyone else. Completely in the mind though.
    It's interesting that you lose motivation after a while though. Is it something about your friends in which you don't feel relaxed about? Is it boredom of people? Tired of putting on a fake confident front? I'm the opposite, if I manage to relax enough around people after a while, I tend to stay like that, I don't feel threatened anymore. I heard introverts do tire of people though, even if I'm comfortable around people, I need a break from them. Then maybe that's the anxiety tiring our bodies out. If I'm terrified the whole day, feeling sickened, panicky, uncomfortable, I just want to rest away from people, it's exhausting. It's like I've gotten used to the sickened feeling, when I get home I realise how much better I feel, didn't realise how on edge I was.
    Yeah, agree, it's all irrational really. Think my anxiety has softened these days to intense shyness, hasn't been as bad as it was. Or I'm not thinking about the effects of the anxiety as much.
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    (Original post by mikeylfc1989)
    Mindfulness, Talking therapies. The former would good if your problems stem from GAD. Have you thought about going private? I know it's expensive but they will probably invest more time into it. Look up those types of therapies and see what's available and talk to your GP first.

    Also, what meds did you try?
    I tried 2 different types of beta blockers. They didn't really help too much and honestly, they gave me heart pain.
    When I brought that up with the doctor they just said "Oh it shouldn't do that" and left it at it as if I was making it up or something.

    I don't really want to take medication as I believe you'd just become reliant on it. It's just a temporary solution, you don't actually fix the problem.

    (Original post by Amwazicles)
    There absolutely is, and I'm really angry your doctor would even imply that. :unimpressed: Admittedly, they are the primary options the NHS will offer, but there are other possibilities, both on the NHS and privately, still available to you. Can I ask how old you are? In my town, there is a child&adolescent mental health place, and they have quite a few alternative-style therapists, such as EFT and EMDR. If that kind of thing appeals to you, you could look into it.
    Have you tried switching to a different medication, or have you decided you don't want to have to take medication? Because there are many possibilities so if one doesn't work for you, it's still likely that another one might.
    From my personal experience, I think psychodynamic therapy is the most effective for me. It's the most 'typical' talking therapy - you ramble away, the therapist listens most of the time, and then responds with what they've made of everything you've said. I find it a great way to work out what's going on in my head, just by saying it and having someone else bounce it back to you with a different angle. Unfortunately, I think it's pretty difficult to get access to on the NHS, but it might be worth asking your doctor about it specifically if that's something you're interested in. It's also really important to remember that, while private therapists may charge high fees, many are extremely open to offering appropriate reductions to people who need it. My therapist is about £40 a session I think, but my parents were really hard for cash a few months ago due to an unfortunate combination of things, and they just contacted her and she was happy to reduce the price by half - just from one email. And I wouldn't be surprised if she would have considered reducing it even more if we'd been really desperate. So don't be afraid to ask, because it's really likely that they will be happy to charge you less if you need.

    Can I just say, I can relate to what you're saying about being stuck at work for a set number of hours, so much so I could be reading something *I've* written. :hugs: Can I ask what your job is? Sorry if you've mentioned it before

    :facepalm: You don't have a job. You want to get a job. Pay attention, Amy. :rolleyes: Sorry
    OK, well, jobs. I started a job at McDonald's in December. I'd been applying all summer, despite convincing myself that I would never be able to have job, for the exact reasons you described - I can't cope with being 'stuck' places. It's the same reason I'd freak out about school. But I got a job, and I started and I did actually manage it. After a few weeks, it was getting on top of me, I had to call in sick a couple of days because I couldn't deal with it. I asked them to reduce my shifts to four hours maximum, which was a big help for a while. In the end, I did decide to leave, at the end of January, but overall it actually feels like a positive experience. I started a job - actually started, went to an interview, got chosen, walked in and did something independently, for money. It turned out not to be the job for me, but who cares! Lots of people start jobs that end up not right for them.
    I think the point I'm trying to make is that, there WILL be a job that you can do. It might not be your standard shop assistant job, at least not at the moment, because let's be honest, it's one of the most intense jobs out there - and they expect 16 year olds to just cope! But you can't write yourself off before you've even given it a try. There will be something for you. You just need to have faith that when you find something you love, and you move into an adult environment, where you are trusted to be able to leave a room when you want to (because many shop jobs and 16-year-old jobs are disappointingly like school in that respect), then you will be able to do it. And until then, you might not be able to manage a job that someone you know might cope perfectly well with. But when you're grown up and working an independent, self-driven job, they'll be stuck somewhere, needing someone to hold their hand and tell them what to do every step of the way, and in the grand scheme of things, that's not a good position to be in.
    Without wanting to keep relating things to myself , I have recently become a Betterware distributor. And it's pretty much the perfect job for me. Granted, the money isn't that great, but the point is, I'm doing something, by myself, and with my own reasons and motivation, earning money for myself. I choose when I work and how much and how long for, and if I can't be bothered to work on that day, I don't have to. No biggie. No one calling me up to ask where I am, because the work is paid by commission. If I don't get orders, then I don't get paid. If I want money, I go get orders, if I can't be bothered to work, I don't get money. It's as simple as that, and I love it. In fact I highly recommend it. Like I said, it's not enough to pay your way through university or anything like that, but to me it feels like an important step on the way to independence and being able to do things for myself and by myself.

    I really didn't mean for that to become so rambly! :eek4:
    I'm just thinking therapy isn't going to work. I don't know. I know there isn't a miracle cure or anything and at the end of the day, it's up to us to cure it ourselves by getting out there, but there just doesn't seem to be anything to help with that.

    I wonder if hypnotherapy would work? Has anyone tried it?

    I'm 17.

    Interesting experience and well done for getting that job!

    My mum does something very similar. She does something called Chocolates for Chocoholics. Maybe you've heard of it?
    Just like you, she works for herself and only gets paid if she gets the orders. But that's party plan and she goes to houses and fairs and whatnot.

    It was always something I was going to do and start helping her with as soon as I got a car, but this has got in the way. Grr.

    I know this sounds silly and whimsical but you know in movies/books when people work at shops where it's family run so the people are really nice and are more like friends than co workers and are really flexible so would understand everything and whatnot.... I think that'd be perfect.
    But I don't live somewhere where there's anywhere like that.
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    Anyone get really bad night terrors, or have any idea how to make them stop

    I'm terrified of going to sleep, I'll wait for days until I eventually fall asleep.. I can't take much more, absolutely hate it Just woke up from my first snooze in a few days, pretty much started straight away. Leaves me more tired than when I actually went to sleep because of thrashing and screaming

    I'm exhausted :sad:
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    (Original post by Ambray)
    I tried 2 different types of beta blockers. They didn't really help too much and honestly, they gave me heart pain.
    When I brought that up with the doctor they just said "Oh it shouldn't do that" and left it at it as if I was making it up or something.

    I don't really want to take medication as I believe you'd just become reliant on it. It's just a temporary solution, you don't actually fix the problem.
    I know this wasn't aimed at me but I thought I'd butt in. Medication is a tricky thing to make the decision about. It can have side effects and suchlike, but I really thing you should speak to your doctor about it specifically before making any decisions. Because there are so many options which you don't become reliant on, and you can keep a close eye on your dosage, keeping it as low as possible and so on. They don't necessarily 'fix' the problem in terms of your thoughts and that sort of thing - yes it is a temporary solution. But think of it like getting a cast on your leg if you broke it. You need the cast to help your body to heal the leg on it's own - just in the right place. Medication will get you into a better position to begin making real positive steps to recovery. No it won't 'heal' you on its own, but it gives you the resources to cope much better with 'healing' yourself.

    I'm just thinking therapy isn't going to work. I don't know. I know there isn't a miracle cure or anything and at the end of the day, it's up to us to cure it ourselves by getting out there, but there just doesn't seem to be anything to help with that.

    I wonder if hypnotherapy would work? Has anyone tried it?
    Fair enough if that's what you think. But if you haven't tried that many different kinds of therapy, then I would urge you to try some others - because you'd be surprised how different they can be.

    I had two appointments with a hypnotherapist, which really didn't suit me personally. But I know lots of people swear by it, and it's pretty popular, so it'd probably be easy for you to find someone if you wanted to try it.

    I'm 17.
    I almost forgot why I asked that It was to do with child/adolescent treatment, wasn't it? I guess your doctor will probably have given you all the info about possible treatment options, but don't be afraid to go back to them if you want to know more.

    Interesting experience and well done for getting that job!

    My mum does something very similar. She does something called Chocolates for Chocoholics. Maybe you've heard of it?
    Just like you, she works for herself and only gets paid if she gets the orders. But that's party plan and she goes to houses and fairs and whatnot.

    It was always something I was going to do and start helping her with as soon as I got a car, but this has got in the way. Grr.

    I know this sounds silly and whimsical but you know in movies/books when people work at shops where it's family run so the people are really nice and are more like friends than co workers and are really flexible so would understand everything and whatnot.... I think that'd be perfect.
    But I don't live somewhere where there's anywhere like that.
    I haven't heard of that company but I see what you mean.

    So your anxiety makes it hard for you to do something like that job? What kinds of things about it make you anxious?

    It doesn't sound silly at all - I know exactly what you mean. I suppose with anything, when you get an idealised version in your head, you are never going to find a perfect copy of it. But that shouldn't stop you from trying, looking for it, or trying to create it or something similar - that is what ambitions are for, after all. I'm sure there are family-run businesses in your area, just like everywhere, but maybe not in the job area you're looking for. And similarly, I'm sure there are that kind of shops around your area, but maybe not run in quite your dream way. All you can really do is look for a job with the intention of getting one, and then decide when you get there whether it's actually the job for you and whether you will be able to cope. Because getting a job and deciding it's wrong for you is really not a negative thing - it will let you learn more about the kind of job you want, and possibly some valuable experience too.

    Good luck.
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    I've finally spoken to my Latin teacher about having anxiety and she's been really nice about it- I can get a couple of extra sessions to go over what I miss when I can't make it in and if she calls on me and I'm freaking out, I can just say "pass". The thing is, there's only about 12 people in my class and we all know each other fairly well and have a bit of a laugh and there is no way on earth they'd let me get away with just saying "pass" to a question. It feels like it's a choice between freaking out and not being able to answer the question (even though I do know it, I just panic) and looking stupid, or looking like a complete weirdo.
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    (Original post by riotgrrl)
    I've finally spoken to my Latin teacher about having anxiety and she's been really nice about it- I can get a couple of extra sessions to go over what I miss when I can't make it in and if she calls on me and I'm freaking out, I can just say "pass". The thing is, there's only about 12 people in my class and we all know each other fairly well and have a bit of a laugh and there is no way on earth they'd let me get away with just saying "pass" to a question. It feels like it's a choice between freaking out and not being able to answer the question (even though I do know it, I just panic) and looking stupid, or looking like a complete weirdo.
    Ok, well then go for: if you can't answer the question, say something else. Tell the teacher that that's what you're doing, so they know you're not being an ass, but don't tell your mates. That way, you become the class joker to them, who answers things like "so what's house in latin?" with "ananas!" (I only know a little bit of latin). But yeah, pick a few go-to phrases, tell the teacher that you don't want to stand out from your friends too much and run with it. I'm sure the teacher will understand. Hell, they might help you come up with some amusing phrases that will help you learn AND help you not look stupid.
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    (Original post by dungeonkeepr)
    Ok, well then go for: if you can't answer the question, say something else. Tell the teacher that that's what you're doing, so they know you're not being an ass, but don't tell your mates. That way, you become the class joker to them, who answers things like "so what's house in latin?" with "ananas!" (I only know a little bit of latin). But yeah, pick a few go-to phrases, tell the teacher that you don't want to stand out from your friends too much and run with it. I'm sure the teacher will understand. Hell, they might help you come up with some amusing phrases that will help you learn AND help you not look stupid.
    It's a good idea, but I'm at university and people don't really play up in class here. If they ask me to translate some lines and I say something silly I'll just look like a moron.
    Fortunately I had a really good morning today, to the point where I could actually volunteer and ask questions even when I wasn't being directly asked.
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    (Original post by riotgrrl)
    It's a good idea, but I'm at university and people don't really play up in class here. If they ask me to translate some lines and I say something silly I'll just look like a moron.
    Fortunately I had a really good morning today, to the point where I could actually volunteer and ask questions even when I wasn't being directly asked.
    ah, sorry, heard teacher thought school. But that's awesome! Congrats
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    Need to get work done and I'm not really using TSR except for this thread, so I'm going to kill my TSR account. Just thought I'd pop in to let you guys know I'm going. Thank you all for being amazing. If for some reason you want to find me on the internet, search for dungeonkeepr, you'll find me somewhere
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    (Original post by dungeonkeepr)
    Need to get work done and I'm not really using TSR except for this thread, so I'm going to kill my TSR account. Just thought I'd pop in to let you guys know I'm going. Thank you all for being amazing. If for some reason you want to find me on the internet, search for dungeonkeepr, you'll find me somewhere
    :eek:

    B-B-But :cry2:

    We'll miss you :hugs::jumphug::lovehug::grouphugs:
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    I have slight social anxiety, I have a habit of making assumptions about things, then when the event comes up it is never as bad as I imagined. I always feel like people are judging me and when it comes to conversations with people I don't know that well I know what I want to say but I physically can not say it. Anyone else get this? I've improved loads and I am more confident now but I still hate meeting new people, any advice on how to be more relaxed and less awkward?
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    (Original post by hannahsy)
    I have slight social anxiety, I have a habit of making assumptions about things, then when the event comes up it is never as bad as I imagined. I always feel like people are judging me and when it comes to conversations with people I don't know that well I know what I want to say but I physically can not say it. Anyone else get this? I've improved loads and I am more confident now but I still hate meeting new people, any advice on how to be more relaxed and less awkward?
    Ahh me too! I always assume the worst in any situation and worry about it but when it actually happens i cannot think of a single time where it has gone as bad as i thought it would. I don't know why i keep thinking like that

    I know plenty of nice people at uni and i can be myself around them, but still a bit shy sometimes i'm not able to physically say things i want to either. I'm awful at meeting new people too, everyone has been so nice to me here but i'm really struggling to make any more friends now everyone has their groups. I can talk to new people but not very well.. if you get me? I constantly worry that they won't like me. Its even worse when its a girl i like, i get so awkward i'm never brave enough to tell her. Really upsets me because i've had lots of people tell me my good qualities, that i'm a nice person etc, i wish i could be like that around everyone!

    Are you at school/college/uni?
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    (Original post by sr90)
    Ahh me too! I always assume the worst in any situation and worry about it but when it actually happens i cannot think of a single time where it has gone as bad as i thought it would. I don't know why i keep thinking like that

    I know plenty of nice people at uni and i can be myself around them, but still a bit shy sometimes i'm not able to physically say things i want to either. I'm awful at meeting new people too, everyone has been so nice to me here but i'm really struggling to make any more friends now everyone has their groups. I can talk to new people but not very well.. if you get me? I constantly worry that they won't like me. Its even worse when its a girl i like, i get so awkward i'm never brave enough to tell her. Really upsets me because i've had lots of people tell me my good qualities, that i'm a nice person etc, i wish i could be like that around everyone!

    Are you at school/college/uni?
    I'm still at school but I really want to go to Uni, my friends don't drink so if I have about 2 glasses of beer they assume I'm drunk just because I get more confident... It really is quite remarkable. But with guys I do normally tell them I like them straight out, but I go red and my palms get sweaty so it is probably not attractive and I've only done it twice with guys I know really well and people told me they like me back so I'm not scared of rejection as much.

    I'm so awkward around people but I guess now I use that to my advantage, people have a habit of calling me 'cute' though which is really belittling when I'm older than most of them :/ What you studying at Uni?
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    (Original post by hannahsy)
    I'm still at school but I really want to go to Uni, my friends don't drink so if I have about 2 glasses of beer they assume I'm drunk just because I get more confident... It really is quite remarkable. But with guys I do normally tell them I like them straight out, but I go red and my palms get sweaty so it is probably not attractive and I've only done it twice with guys I know really well and people told me they like me back so I'm not scared of rejection as much.

    I'm so awkward around people but I guess now I use that to my advantage, people have a habit of calling me 'cute' though which is really belittling when I'm older than most of them :/ What you studying at Uni?
    Oh bless you, no i'd think that was really, really cute if a girl did that around me and i liked her. Sorry, i know you said you don't like it but thats the first word that came into my head I'm guessing if it was a stranger you wouldn't be as confident though? Thats my problem really. Even when i'm drunk i'm very awkward around new people. Approaching them isn't the issue, its knowing what to say

    I'm doing History perhaps you can make it an aim to build your confidence up before uni? Start off small and go from there, do you talk much in your classes for example? Or can you meet people through your friends, maybe you would feel comfortable with 1 of them around? Failing that just smile at people, if someone smiles at me it puts me in a good mood, especially if its a pretty girl. I sound so pathetic don't i lol, but a lot of people will at least say hi.
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    Nah I don't mind being called cute when it's someone I know is older And I know what you mean, I have what I'm going to say planned out in my head but then I keep on thinking things like 'what if they get offended?' I have a very dry sense of humour which isn't always appreciated. Some of my friends are stupidly confident though, for example one went up to a random guy and was like to him 'How much does a polar bear weigh?... Enough to break the ice' then she introduced herself while I stood there just listening to my ipod.

    And I talk to most people in my year but some are just annoying, and I know what you mean, if a shopkeeper is really nice to me or strikes up a conversation I just feel good because it's like they've bothered to talk to me and at my work I do my best to be nice and smiley to all the customers but some I just want to throttle, especially when they start complaining that the bread's not cooked and then shout at me, it's hardly my fault :P

    And you don't sound pathetic, and I know this sounds stupid because talking online is a hell of a lot easier than in person but you're very easy to talk to in my opinion
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    Hello everyone,

    I've decided I'm getting off TSR. It may be permanent or temporary - I might be back in a few weeks, or maybe never. I just thought I'd pop in here and let people know.

    :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by Amwazicles)
    Hello everyone,

    I've decided I'm getting off TSR. It may be permanent or temporary - I might be back in a few weeks, or maybe never. I just thought I'd pop in here and let people know.

    :grouphugs:
    Why? (You don't have to tell, but I hope it is only something like learning or so and nothing serious.)

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