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Anxiety experiences and support

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Post on TSR and win a prize! Find out more... 10-04-2014
    #96

    Please help! My anxiety is getting worse by the day and I don't know what to do any more
    Basically when I was younger, I was really dumb and dopey :P Honestly, I just used to float through life. I used to be the lower sets for everything at high school but then my mum was really concerned about how poor my maths was, so I got a tutor in year 8. Before, that I mean I even got level 3 in a science test in year 8 and got moved down a set. Anyway, that tutor changed my life! I started to put so much hard work in year 9 (and bizarre as it sounds, if I didn't put the effort in, I would probably be a dumbass by now.) It was so important to me to the put work in year 9 so I could be put into higher sets/tiers for GCSEs. So, anyway worked super hard etc and from the lowest sets in year 9, I was put into set 2s/set1s (out of 7 sets) in year 10 and I also moved up to sets for 4 subjects. In year 10, I was awarded the science prize because my teacher couldn't believe a person from such a low set could move to the highest set for GCSE. Yeah so all good, anyway, I put all the effort in and got brilliant GCSEs and had in mind I wanted to do medicine. (I know sets etc is not a big deal, but for me it was at the time, it was the first time I had worked hard)

    In AS first modular exams, did quite well but because I didn't get my 4A's, (got AABC) I cried and made a big deal about it. So it demotivated my for the AS exams. Also, there were issues at home that time, so a lot of shouting etc. Did AS levels and came out with BBBB (was really upset and was sure economics wouldn't be a B, so I got it remarked and it came back an A) Over the summer, went to lots of medicine open days etc/had practice medicine interviews, went really really well and had a practice one at Imperial too and at school for the people who had applied for medicine and they all went perfect. At Imperial, they told me I had the passion/reasons for choosing medicine etc, everything was right. So, any way I got predicted AAA for a levels and got two medicine interviews, but then got rejected post-interview. I was really ill in December had a chest infection so I didn't perform well at all for January A2 exams. I was interviewed at school why I didn't perform well when my target grades were AAA.

    Anyway, I became obsessed and depressed that I wouldn't get my grades for medicine to reapply so I got BBBa in the end. I had to go through clearing, worst point in my life, called for 12hrs straight but didn't get a place. All my friends everyone moved on etc. I was at such a high when I got those medicine interviews and was now at rock bottom. Then, I decided I'll reapply to uni and wrote a really good personal statement. Now I've firmed Durham University. I'm so proud of myself, after all that, I'm still going to such a good uni. So, I resat in Jan 12 some exams, did well in some, got an A* in a chem module but didn't get what I needed to, it bumped my UMS but still need some more UMS. I need 5 more UMS in chem to get the grade and 16 UMS in maths. Cost me quite a bit, my sister paid everything. So, now I'm doing exams again in the summer to meet my offer. I don't know what to do because I keep getting really panicky. I get anxiety chest pain, really badly, my hands get clammy, I get severe headaches and a really upset stomach. I do work really really hard, do all past papers etc, but some how my panic just takes over me in the exam. I hate it. I've only done one of the exam for the summer, it went alright, but I'm so disappointed because I'm not gonna get full marks for it. (I checked the mark scheme on TSR) I just keep making stupid mistakes because of my panic.

    My exam anxiety is getting worse day by day, I used to do really really well at school e.g. always used to get highest marks in the class but on the exam day, it's just something else. I've done these a level exams so many times, feels like a perpetual cycle of exams. But, it's the only thing that can move me forward.

    I've tried being positive, going to look for some herbal remedies tomorrow but with exams round the corner (my last chance) I need to do really well and do them with a calm mental state. I also have a low self esteem, always comparing myself to others. But, I've stopped that now, I'm happy with what I've got, but I just can't seem to move forward because of this anxiety! I treat it like it's the end of the world, but only because I can't through that horrible clearing process again! I'm so excited for October but I don't want to disappoint myself or my mum again.

    Any help!! I mean, I know I'm competent, I do everything right at home but can't seem to do it under the exam pressure. It's because I've done these a level exams so many times and just can't seem to get it right, so now I'm so scared of it and the outcome.

    I really want to move forward in my life, I have a good plan ahead, it's just this one step that's keeping me behind and I need an A* in at least one subject.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    Hy,

    How much time do you still have?

    - Have you already written mock exams under exam condition? I mean really with the same paper, the same procedure, time pressure (you can also lower the time for completing the exam in your mock exam, which gives you some security in the real one), more severe conditions?

    - Do you some rituals for the exam?

    - Do you do some sport every day?

    - I have never tried some of them, but they exist some methods likes autogenic training that some people use to get over exam anxiety.

    - Do you have something where you can get self-confidence?

    - Write all down to get your situation into perspective, from my point of view, I can't see any point, why you wouldn't have a chance.

    - Try not to be to focussed on the final grades, but really only use the marking shemes only to get better and to indentify your faults. (You know the usual procedure: write down, where you had troubles, analyse it and do only that part again. Not counting the marks and think about how many you still need to be perfect, by only learning that will come automatically and then even these 1 minute = 1 point exams become easier to handle.)

    - Don't learn until the last minute and don't be too early in the exam room.

    - Eat good food?

    - Can you learn with others: "A problem shared is a problem halved."

    - Don't grieve about retaking or failing, that is so common and so easy and nothing which is of real significance, it is more our perception which makes us feel so low and like the last person, who will be good in the exam, even that is absolute nonsense.

    :grouphugs:
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    My exams are all over which is good however I'm a little freaked out about my French exam as I had a sort of mini panic attack in the middle of my exam. It was the listening part of the exam and I just couldn't understand any of it. I got upset and had to go out in my exam as I just couldn't sit there as the exam was getting to me. I calmed down then and got on with the exam however I'm still worried about the entirety of my french exam as I think what with me panicking, I probably dropped quite a few marks plus I want to take French next year to A2 but I'm worried that I may not have a good enough grade at AS to cope with A2
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    (Original post by pink pineapple)
    My exams are all over which is good however I'm a little freaked out about my French exam as I had a sort of mini panic attack in the middle of my exam. It was the listening part of the exam and I just couldn't understand any of it. I got upset and had to go out in my exam as I just couldn't sit there as the exam was getting to me. I calmed down then and got on with the exam however I'm still worried about the entirety of my french exam as I think what with me panicking, I probably dropped quite a few marks plus I want to take French next year to A2 but I'm worried that I may not have a good enough grade at AS to cope with A2
    Sorry to hear you had a panic attack in your French exam. Please try not to worry about the results. You'll have the option to re do the unit in January if you felt you needed to. Also, I've completed A-level French, so if you need help just ask.
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    (Original post by sunfowers01)
    Sorry to hear you had a panic attack in your French exam. Please try not to worry about the results. You'll have the option to re do the unit in January if you felt you needed to. Also, I've completed A-level French, so if you need help just ask.
    Thakyou, I'll PM you if I have any trouble
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    Someone above me has posted their story and i can completely relate to that because i too feel like my anxiety is minor compared to others! Basically for me i mainly feel anxious about..

    - My health, i always get paranoid about having some sort of horrible disease/cancer whatever and get paranoid that my life is gonna end.. sorry if this is too much information but i once got paranoid i had like bowel cancer and was going to die but really i just had a but of an upset stomach for a few weeks, probably due to my anxiety in the first place. I also google any little symptom i get and it's almost like i'm looking for something to worry about.

    - I have this constant fear of like impending doom, not sure if other people have experienced this but i sometimes have like thoughts in my head which i feel other people don't worry about.. e.g what if i cross the road when i go out later and get hit by a car and die/get made disabled? Or what if i get kidnapped?
    God i feel so stupid actually writing this all out, i don't think even my closest friends or family know i worry about these things.

    -Losing my mind/having a breakdown.. i know this can be a symptom of anxiety, and now that i know i am not in fact losing my mind, i worry a lot less about this. I do sometimes feel a bit spaced out in stressfull/embarrassing situations or sometimes in public and start to panic as i feel like i am going to have a panic attack in public.. but usually it stops and i can think rationally again and say to myself, ok, i'm not going to have a panic attack, calm down.

    -People looking at me.. this is only occasional, but sometimes e.g walking through busy shopping center, i feel like i'm kind of on show.. and get paranoid i'm gonna like trip over or something and embarrass myself.


    Wow, don't think i have ever written all that down or even told anyone before.
    Has anyone had anything similar? Or does anyone know any simple techniques (really don't want to go on medication) that could help me even just a little bit?

    I would love to talk to anyone else who has anxiety as i don't know anyone else with it, so please feel free to message me if you want to as well
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    Hey so, I got diagnosed with severe depression & anxiety about 2/3 months ago, although I have been suffering with the disorders for three years now.
    I was prescribed 10mg Citalopram but stopped taking it after two boxes as 1) booking a dr's appointment is really long and scary 2) I felt a lot better and situation in my life had changed which enabled me to cope better.

    However, I started the first of my final year exams (A2) today and had a panic attack yesterday as a result. I know I need to go back to the doctors but I'm too nervous, I don't really have a regular doctor and I hate having to phone up etc. Do they not understand that this is difficult for people like us?
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    (Original post by popsicles3)
    Someone above me has posted their story and i can completely relate to that because i too feel like my anxiety is minor compared to others! Basically for me i mainly feel anxious about..

    - My health, i always get paranoid about having some sort of horrible disease/cancer whatever and get paranoid that my life is gonna end.. sorry if this is too much information but i once got paranoid i had like bowel cancer and was going to die but really i just had a but of an upset stomach for a few weeks, probably due to my anxiety in the first place. I also google any little symptom i get and it's almost like i'm looking for something to worry about.

    - I have this constant fear of like impending doom, not sure if other people have experienced this but i sometimes have like thoughts in my head which i feel other people don't worry about.. e.g what if i cross the road when i go out later and get hit by a car and die/get made disabled? Or what if i get kidnapped?
    God i feel so stupid actually writing this all out, i don't think even my closest friends or family know i worry about these things.

    -Losing my mind/having a breakdown.. i know this can be a symptom of anxiety, and now that i know i am not in fact losing my mind, i worry a lot less about this. I do sometimes feel a bit spaced out in stressfull/embarrassing situations or sometimes in public and start to panic as i feel like i am going to have a panic attack in public.. but usually it stops and i can think rationally again and say to myself, ok, i'm not going to have a panic attack, calm down.

    -People looking at me.. this is only occasional, but sometimes e.g walking through busy shopping center, i feel like i'm kind of on show.. and get paranoid i'm gonna like trip over or something and embarrass myself.


    Wow, don't think i have ever written all that down or even told anyone before.
    Has anyone had anything similar? Or does anyone know any simple techniques (really don't want to go on medication) that could help me even just a little bit?

    I would love to talk to anyone else who has anxiety as i don't know anyone else with it, so please feel free to message me if you want to as well
    I can relate too everything you just wrote! as individual things they are easy to shrug off but can be so stressful to deal with everything. I also get severe anxiety when away from both my family and home which is horrible cause it makes me feel like such a baby.
    I found CBT really useful for the stuff you described above but for my more severe panic disorder I was put on sertraline. I would definitely recommend talking to a doctor about recieving some CBT or other suitable help.
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    (Original post by rachel0593)
    I can relate too everything you just wrote! as individual things they are easy to shrug off but can be so stressful to deal with everything. I also get severe anxiety when away from both my family and home which is horrible cause it makes me feel like such a baby.
    I found CBT really useful for the stuff you described above but for my more severe panic disorder I was put on sertraline. I would definitely recommend talking to a doctor about recieving some CBT or other suitable help.
    Ah i'm not alone! Thanks, yeah i've seen lots of stuff about CBT, i will certainly look into it, it's just annoying becuase a lot of the time i feel no anxiety at all, and i sort of forget how crap it feels until it kind of comes up again.. not this time though
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    (Original post by popsicles3)
    Ah i'm not alone! Thanks, yeah i've seen lots of stuff about CBT, i will certainly look into it, it's just annoying becuase a lot of the time i feel no anxiety at all, and i sort of forget how crap it feels until it kind of comes up again.. not this time though
    Yeah i kind of kid myself into thinking i'm fine and don't need to do anything.. until I get invited to go on holiday with friends or get accepted to uni and then I freak out.
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    Hey guys, I'm as tired as ducks and I haven't given in to sleep for nearly 24 hours...

    ... help.
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    (Original post by K the Failure)
    Hey guys, I'm as tired as ducks and I haven't given in to sleep for nearly 24 hours...

    ... help.
    No sleep sucks balls.

    Personally I can't sleep in the day so my advice would be to prepare to sleep tonight. Have a clean around your bedroom, maybe put clean sheets on. Then have a shower putting clean pyjamas on.

    Also eating a hot meal and having a hot chocolate would help, but I know the weather is warm.

    Have your window open so there is fresh air, and youre supposed to be cool when you sleep anyway.

    Reading a book will tire your eyes but if you put a familiar film on or something like that you could drift off.

    The best thing though is to try and relax because you won't sleep if you are all tense and anxious. I once had to convince myself I had slept to get myself to sleep because I was so tired.

    What have you tried?
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    Hey all, I just thought I would post in here, I am the new moderator in Mental Health. Usually I am found over in the Mental Health Support Society (What was the Depression Society) but I thought I would pop my head around the door and introduce myself :ciao:
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    (Original post by Idle)
    Hey all, I just thought I would post in here, I am the new moderator in Mental Health. Usually I am found over in the Mental Health Support Society (What was the Depression Society) but I thought I would pop my head around the door and introduce myself :ciao:
    Hello!
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    I had major anxiety issues for a while - thought it was depression for a bit because it came and went with periods of crashes and being happy. My pyschologist confirmed it wasn't. Still have what she calls a "low mood" - that is, one that has lasted for about 9 months on and off (I had to count on my fingers).
    I'm Natalya btw, 14, and I have mild Aspergers too. Pleased to meet you.
    #59

    Anyone else feel like their lives have been seriously limited due to anxiety?
    I've given up so many talents and opportunities simply because I am afraid of people and feel inadequate and ashamed.
    Everything I wanted to do when I was younger, I have refused myself now. Everything I want to do now, I just accept that I can't or won't do it. I've created a shell and feel safe in it.

    Seems like I'm sabotaging myself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone else feel like their lives have been seriously limited due to anxiety?
    I've given up so many talents and opportunities simply because I am afraid of people and feel inadequate and ashamed.
    Everything I wanted to do when I was younger, I have refused myself now. Everything I want to do now, I just accept that I can't or won't do it. I've created a shell and feel safe in it.

    Seems like I'm sabotaging myself.
    Yep Personally the worst part is knowing that when i meet people they must think i'm boring or quiet or something and wishing i could be more confident.. Or worrying that whatever situation i'm in, i always have a feeling something really bad is definitely going to happen.. even when it never does.

    Whatever it is you're not alone!
    #59

    (Original post by popsicles3)
    Yep Personally the worst part is knowing that when i meet people they must think i'm boring or quiet or something and wishing i could be more confident.. Or worrying that whatever situation i'm in, i always have a feeling something really bad is definitely going to happen.. even when it never does.

    Whatever it is you're not alone!
    Yeah, understand Agree, loads are going through similar feelings.


    (Original post by The Puppet Master)
    :lurk:

    Thought I'd pop in, I have social anxiety - together with depression.

    Spoiler:
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    I'm pretty sure I'm a complete weirdo though, as together it's a case of make or break with me. Having depression at university and social anxiety may be thought to be one of the worst combinations but for me it seemed that because I felt so much self hatred I'd force myself to be in situations that I really hated. It'd make me physically sick and it felt kind of deserved I guess, so I was able to make friends easier. While hiding everything, no one ever suspected anything. I was actually 'normal'.

    I even made what I'd call very close friends, although a couple of months ago my depression got so bad I secluded myself from everything for weeks on end, that's when the anxiety really hit hard. Questioning why on earth I had friends, that they secretly hated me, that I was just annoying etc. Didn't see anyone for weeks and was scared to leave my room to even go in the kitchen, so started starving myself, self harming etc. Honestly have no idea how I came out of it, however at one point did hit rock bottom so hard that it was nearly fatal, it was just a massive downwards spiral.

    Luckily for me, I was wrong and I do have some wonderful friends, who helped so much with the recovery. It's not so bad now however the weeks of seclusion haven't helped my social life with my course mates so 2nd year will bring all sorts of new troubles, I'm sure.
    I'm sure you can always develop skills. Now you know you have a good secure set of friends, you shouldn't stress too much about your coursemates. Despite how nervous/anxious you are, just appear relaxed and smile. People are often willing to make new friends, even in your 2nd year.
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    Hey, thought I'd come and say hello and ask for some advice. I've suffered from depression to varying degrees but recently anxiety has got a massive grip of me and I can't shake it. I've always been quite bad at change and accepting different ideas but over the last month or so the slightest change to plans sends me off on an anxious path and I can't stop it. I also get really anxious about leaving the house (getting slightly better though) and the idea of being out of my house for more than about 3 hours makes me feel sick and on the verge of tears. It's quite rare for me to have a panic attack unless I'm really stressed and tired (and upset) but these last few weeks I've been on the verge of having one every few days. I think tomorrow when I have to go visit relatives and stay over until Sunday evening I might break. I'll be with my parents and they just... can't know.

    If someone says something to me, like 'I'm going down town' then I start to panic and my mind races away to all the possibilities, like what if they crash on the way, what if this happens or that happens or something else bad. Some of the more absurd things I get anxious about are zombie attacks (god, that sounds ridiculous out loud) - especially at night, I won't leave the house when it's dark any more - or a terrorist attack. I'm a rational, logical 22 year old but these things bring me to tears and keep me up at night :sad:

    I don't even know where to start with sorting this out. What can I do? I don't like leaving the house (I'll go if I can't put up a fight, more likely to go if I don't have to walk; it's scarier if I have to do it myself) so getting over to the doctors will be hard. Plus I'd never know what to say. Depression I can explain, random anxiety I really can't.
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    *waves* ive only just found this thread...

    well i have a few anxieties, and it means i have to get CBT... but the docs dont really know half of it.

    there is a fear that my boyfriend is going to get seriously injured... that was sparked by his dad's death. it isnt as bad now, but when it happened i couldnt move n hyperventalated alot if he didnt text for 15 minutes. now its about half an hour, maybe 20 (thats almost a year n a half on)

    the worst one... is a loo phobia :/ basically there are two loos in the house, one i think may be faulty n the other is not. the faulty one i used to use and now i jst cant. it blocks every single time n it causes great anxiety even thinking about going there. now its just spread to every loo except for the good loo in our house, coz i think no matter what happens other loos will block (which makes going to uni that bit more scary). (any practical rationing would be nice there :/)

    those are the worst anxieties that i have at the moment, although others do come about... like the fear of dogs makes me cry....

    hope everyone is ok x

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