[Emmie3303]

(Original post by Energy_Purple)
Hi Emmie

I can completely relate to the way that other people understand and deal with a person's anxiety. My mum is incredibly supportive about everything that happens, but there are days where she doesn't understand for example why I can't physically go into college or why I can't leave the house. It's one of those things where I think that people can't truly understand a situation unless they have had to deal with something similar themselves, because it's very hard to relate an experience to someone who might not be very familiar with the whole situation.

Have you ever thought about joining a support group or a forum for other sufferers? I used to feel like I was completely alone in what I was dealing with until I joined a local outreach group, and it's been such a tremendous help to me to meet other people who understand what you're going through. It's nice to have a different kind of support sometimes if you're feeling upset or worried about things, as you know that they'll listen and be supportive in a different way

I tend to recite calming or relaxing songs or phrases in my head when I get incredibly nervous, as they make me feel better. Or I carry something around with me such as a stressball or something that I can squeeze to help release the tension a little bit. Loads of people recommended that idea to me as it gives you some kind of control, and I found that it helps me when I get particularly nervous

Hi

I agree completely about the idea that people find it harder to be supportive when the situation or feelings are unfamiliar to them. When I used to struggle to go into college my mam didn't understand what I was so scared of and I found it hard to explain that it wasn't anything in particular; it was just the idea of being trapped there. I used to get on the bus and make it all the way to the college gates and then just start crying because I wanted to go in so badly and just didn't feel strong enough. On the days when I didn't go in I felt better physically immediately but then I just felt rubbish mentally so I learnt that the only way to feel good was to just go anyway and try not to worry about what could happen. It was hard but I got better at it when I found little sanctuaries within college. There was a bathroom at the end of a long corridor that people didn't use very often and I always felt calm when I took 5 minutes for myself in there. There was also a quiet room in the library in which I was comfortable.

Joining a support group does sound like a good idea. I've been on forums devoted to Gilbert's syndrome but they tend to focus on physical rather than mental effects of sustained illness. I'm gradually working my way through all the posts on this thread and I already feel better just being around all the positivity and reading posts by lovely supportive people .

I use music to make me feel better, which can be quite cathartic . I've also used little tokens of courage in the past like a necklace that I wear every day or a pebble from the beach. The stressball idea is great, thank you . I might try it. I always hold a pen lid or a paper clip in my fist before exams because the pressure gives you something to focus on.

Thank you for your lovely reply x

[spoinkytheduck]

(Original post by Energy_Purple)
Hey guys, first time poster on this thread, but it made me feel a lot better to realise that I'm not alone with the experiences that I go through

I go through periods when I feel totally fine and feel in control of everything, then I have times like now when I can barely even leave the house without suffering a severe panic attack. I ended up missing over a month of college because things got really bad, to the point where I could only sleep an hour or so a night before having a night time panic attack, and I'm now restarting my A Levels in September. I get really nervous and tense in social situations that make me feel physically sick, and this is worrying me because my dream is to go to University to study History and English.

I have found the occasional thing that has made me feel more calm and relaxed about things so that I could get on with my life, but I was wondering what sort of things other people have found to help them manage their anxiety? What would be your advice to other people who might be in the same position?

Thanks guys, you're all lovely people

Hiya I used to find college an absolute nightmare! I always had 2 hairbands on my wrist (even though I never put my hair up.. which people did point out!) so I could stretch them, tie them together, make shapes with them etc. - it kind of relieved the stress and gave me something to focus on. Also counting is great as it puts your mind on something.. only do it if you dont need to be concentrating though.. otherwise its pretty hard (for me anyway!) and count silly things such as how many table legs are there in the room or something! Also sequences.. I did these on the top of sheets etc. (in pencil so you can rub them out) and just did doubling the numbers or adding the previous 2 numbers together.. just to get your mind off stuff. Or arranging your desk so everything is parallel or perpendicular.. basically anything which isnt too massively difficult that you can focus on

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Energy_Purple)
I have found the occasional thing that has made me feel more calm and relaxed about things so that I could get on with my life, but I was wondering what sort of things other people have found to help them manage their anxiety? What would be your advice to other people who might be in the same position?

Thanks guys, you're all lovely people

For aeroplanes (I used to be terrified of flying, still am terrified of heights), I hum paint it black. But any song that you know really well with a nicely walking paced rhythm would work, I think. Or the Ballad of Serenity. Even if you don't know Firefly, the words of the song are really good to remind you of all the good things in life.

My advice is to think of all the good moments, the times you overcame the anxiety and how good it felt. I remember being terrified to go on a social with my course, but I had a great time and I got a lollipop ^_^ Just remember the benefits to not giving in, the actual reality behind the scary ideas your brain makes up And don't forget the traditional of taking a deeeeep breath and rolling your shoulders back. Works like a charm if you're not too far into panic mode

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by Emmie3303)
The first two paragraphs of your experience are so similar to my life that I thought I was reading something I'd written and forgotten about. [Long story below]

Spoiler:

Show

The first paragraph talks about vomiting a little bit but it's not graphic or descriptive; I thought it is only fair to warn you because of your phobia of vomiting .

I also have a fear of vomiting (I didn't know what it was called; thank you for that information ) but I think it is an extension of a fear of choking. I hate having coughs for that precise reason. I was a very healthy child and consequently didn't vomit once from the age of about 7 to the age of 16. It got to the point where I'd forgotten what it felt like to be sick and what it felt like just before that so the phobia developed. I used to get a swooping feeling in my stomach if someone even talked about vomiting or if I saw it and I would turn of TV programmes if there was any vomiting in them. That has got steadily better but I still get unreasonably anxious if I know somebody near me is ill.

The choking/coughing element of it started in year 4 when I inhaled my own mucus (sorry for the details but I think it's necessary to understand what I'm talking about) and almost choked on it when I had a cold. My teacher said 'I thought you were dying', which is not a good thing to say to a child. Then it happened again in year 7 on my second day of secondary school. I had a cough for months after that and went through a lot of problems with school attendance. My teachers thought I was emotionally unhinged but I was only quiet and scared at school.

In year 8 I too stopped eating properly for no apparent reason. I just felt like I couldn't swallow properly (fear of choking again; too aware) and I lost a lot of weight. The doctor knew it wasn't a standard eating disorder because I had a positive attitude towards food in general. I was used to get anxious leading up to meal times (which is probably why I couldn't swallow). The doctor did full blood tests and it turned out that I have Gilbert's Syndrome; they used this to explain my problems while simultaneously saying that it had no symptoms. Make of that what you will. I was referred to the outpatients department at our hospital and had my weight and height monitered until I was 16 but the eating problem had gone by the time I was in year 9 and I've never had any problems with eating since then. In fact I've become even more normal in my eating habits that I was before it all went wrong and I enjoy food immensely now.

I've had daily nausea (no vomiting) since the age of about 13 (I always thought it was due to Gilbert's Syndrome but I'm not so sure anymore). As you can imagine a fear of vomiting coupled with daily nausea is not a fun combination. While I've got used to regular nausea and can function in spite of it, I get anxious when I'm put in situations where you could construed to be 'trapped'. I get nervous on trains/in the cinema/at the dentist/at the hairdressers/in restaurants but I always feel better once I get there. I've learnt to overcome that feeling.

The strange thing is any anxiety that I feel is always related to how I feel and never to do with the task in hand. I get nervous about taking exams because I don't want to feel ill in the middle of one and not because I'm worried about the actual exam. I tend to work hard so I don't get as nervous about the actual questions and work.

I've never had depression or panic attacks like you and I've always been in mainstream school. There was a very good special needs department at my school who helped me in year 7.

I was handling the nausea well as years of it had allowed me to get used to it but two years ago I started getting vestibular dizziness symptoms (not the room spinning kind but the kind that you feel within your skull, if that makes sense). I've been through some hospital departments to try and find a solution (ENT, neurology). My MRI was completely normal apart from one tiny looped vein but that's not the cause of my dizziness. I'm currently pursuing the hormone imbalance route.

Sorry about the long story but it is all relevant for explaining why I get irrationally nervous.

Basically years of not knowing from hour to hour how I will feel has made me tune into my feelings far too much. I'll go through phases where I just deal with it although I don't get out much and my friends are gradually slipping away because all they see is me making plans and then backing out. Sometimes I can't deal with it in a positive way and I get upset about the situation. That is usually when I go back to the doctor and try and get some sort of solution again.

My mam is actually on medication for panic attacks so I know what true anxiety can do to you and I know that I am nowhere near that afflicted.

I suppose what I need is people who understand what it feels like to be on edge about things that other people don't even think about. My parents are supportive but I don't think they really understand.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Do you have techniques for dealing with anxiety and nervousness? I find that counting in your head when you're in an uncomfortable situation can be quite calming and gives you some perspective. I also try not to think about the worst things that can happen as it all just escalates in my head otherwise.



Thank you so much if you've read all of this .

Thanks for your post. I am working on a longer reply so I will post that as soon as I can, maybe within a few days, but just thought I'd let you know I read it and haven't forgotten you!

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by sclrjt)
..

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I have read your last post, and I am working on a longer reply, but as I mentioned, I'm on holiday at the moment and only have a few minutes of 'computer time' a day, so it will be a good few days to a week before I finish everything I want to say. I haven't forgotten you, I promise!

[Emmie3303]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
Thanks for your post. I am working on a longer reply so I will post that as soon as I can, maybe within a few days, but just thought I'd let you know I read it and haven't forgotten you!

Thank you . I'm currently reading back through the whole thread and you've all been doing such a good job at making people feel better. I appreciate you taking the time to write a reply .

[Watch Key Phone]

Hi everyone, as you might know I'm on holiday at the moment, so I only have a few minutes to check in each day, and it's great to see the thread trundling along nicely without me Just wanted to make sure you didn't all forget me while I was away!

[Energy_Purple]

(Original post by spoinkytheduck)
Hiya I used to find college an absolute nightmare! I always had 2 hairbands on my wrist (even though I never put my hair up.. which people did point out!) so I could stretch them, tie them together, make shapes with them etc. - it kind of relieved the stress and gave me something to focus on. Also counting is great as it puts your mind on something.. only do it if you dont need to be concentrating though.. otherwise its pretty hard (for me anyway!) and count silly things such as how many table legs are there in the room or something! Also sequences.. I did these on the top of sheets etc. (in pencil so you can rub them out) and just did doubling the numbers or adding the previous 2 numbers together.. just to get your mind off stuff. Or arranging your desk so everything is parallel or perpendicular.. basically anything which isnt too massively difficult that you can focus on

Hiya

I love the hairband idea I use the animal elastic bands instead after it was recommended to me by a friend of mine, and it honestly works wonders when I'm horribly stressing out at college because it's something I can do discreetly without drawing attention to myself. I tend to find that other people commenting on my nervousness in turn just makes my nerves and stress even worse than normal. I like the number idea (even if I do utterly hate Maths lol). I usually resort to reciting my favourite songs or positive phrases over and over in my head to help relax myself because they carry a good meaning or memory with them to help calm me down

Thanks for the other ideas! It's all very helpful hun

[Energy_Purple]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
For aeroplanes (I used to be terrified of flying, still am terrified of heights), I hum paint it black. But any song that you know really well with a nicely walking paced rhythm would work, I think. Or the Ballad of Serenity. Even if you don't know Firefly, the words of the song are really good to remind you of all the good things in life.

My advice is to think of all the good moments, the times you overcame the anxiety and how good it felt. I remember being terrified to go on a social with my course, but I had a great time and I got a lollipop ^_^ Just remember the benefits to not giving in, the actual reality behind the scary ideas your brain makes up And don't forget the traditional of taking a deeeeep breath and rolling your shoulders back. Works like a charm if you're not too far into panic mode

Just for the record, Paint it Black is an amazing song!!!! I always tend to end up thinking of cheesy songs because it's something that makes me smile and helps me to calm down. The amount of times I've walked down the corridor humming or singing something like Agadoo or Witchdoctor is unbelievable, trust me I love positive songs, I personally think that there should be a playlist of feelgood songs that people could be recommended for when they're stressing out, music always helps to make me feel better

That is an great idea in my opinion It's something that doesn't require anything else other than your own memories and imagination, which is really helpful and possibly the best tool that you have at your disposal Aw man, I now want a lollipop for the record :P It's good to remember the basics, I always tend to forget about deep breathing because I'm always so panicked and trying to think of other things to do. Great idea

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Energy_Purple)
Just for the record, Paint it Black is an amazing song!!!! I always tend to end up thinking of cheesy songs because it's something that makes me smile and helps me to calm down. The amount of times I've walked down the corridor humming or singing something like Agadoo or Witchdoctor is unbelievable, trust me I love positive songs, I personally think that there should be a playlist of feelgood songs that people could be recommended for when they're stressing out, music always helps to make me feel better

That is an great idea in my opinion It's something that doesn't require anything else other than your own memories and imagination, which is really helpful and possibly the best tool that you have at your disposal Aw man, I now want a lollipop for the record :P It's good to remember the basics, I always tend to forget about deep breathing because I'm always so panicked and trying to think of other things to do. Great idea

Lol, I got the idea from supernatural, where Dean hums enter sandman to calm down, but somehow when I tried it became paint it black. Have you tried "feeling good"? Always cheers me up immensely because it's full of good things and really good to belt out if you have the muse version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmwRQqJsegw&ob=av2e

Lollipops are always good - we have a saying in our household, that you'll never be sad if you have a lollipop in your pocket. Honestly, try it. That moment when you put your hand in your pocket and find a lolly you forgot about...

[Anonymous]

(Original post by insignificant)
TSR is a skewed representation of society. I dont think you should plan to be together in freshers or plan not to be, just let things go with the flow. If you and your flatmates want to go shopping together, go shopping together. If you and your boyfriend want to go for a meal one night to a nice restaurant you see, go have that meal. If you have a society night, go to that society night. If your boyfriend wants you to meet his flatmates, go over. Do you see what I'm saying? Its a more mature environment where people accept that people have lives outside of their accommodation and course. Just make sure that you aren't passing up opportunities because you would rather be with him.

Have you tried applying for Disabled Students Allowance? All my doctor had to do was write me a note saying I have anxiety problems, I got assessed by the DSA people and I'm getting things to assist me such as a dictaphone and a mentor to meet me weekly. For people who have anxiety problems , and living out, they can get their accommodation subsidised where they can pay the extra for you to get an ensuite if you can prove you cant afford it. Theres no deadline for when you can apply for it apply whenever.

This is news to me. I could not relate how Dsa could apply to a person with anxiety related issues. Thank you for bringing this to light, and i hope you don't mind me asking a few more questions Is that ok ?

[spoinkytheduck]

(Original post by Energy_Purple)
Hiya

I love the hairband idea I use the animal elastic bands instead after it was recommended to me by a friend of mine, and it honestly works wonders when I'm horribly stressing out at college because it's something I can do discreetly without drawing attention to myself. I tend to find that other people commenting on my nervousness in turn just makes my nerves and stress even worse than normal. I like the number idea (even if I do utterly hate Maths lol). I usually resort to reciting my favourite songs or positive phrases over and over in my head to help relax myself because they carry a good meaning or memory with them to help calm me down

Thanks for the other ideas! It's all very helpful hun

Yeah, the hairband thing is what I turn to the most as no-one knows you're stressing!!
Oh yeah, soongs!! Forgot about them.. although I have to switch the song frequently as I get to the point where I know them too well so I dont really need to concentrate so my mind starts wondering (not good!). But I know people who find it loads better to have a familliar song as its nice to think of something they know really well that is comforting.. weird how something can work both ways

[dungeonkeepr]

A newish one for me: putting off starting reading for my dissertation in case I mess it up and don't get the grades. I keep not thinking about starting uni again because it all seems so much effort and there's so many people outside of this nice bubble I have where people literally cannot talk to me because we don't speak the same language.

Hmm. I shall start the reading tomorrow. Slap me if I don't. I need a 2:2 and I'm actually interested in the topic, too.

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by Emmie3303)
The first two paragraphs of your experience are so similar to my life that I thought I was reading something I'd written and forgotten about. [Long story below]

The first paragraph talks about vomiting a little bit but it's not graphic or descriptive; I thought it is only fair to warn you because of your phobia of vomiting .

That's such a lovely thing to do! I can't get over how thoughtful that is (PS - word mentioned in next paragraph )

I also have a fear of vomiting (I didn't know what it was called; thank you for that information ) but I think it is an extension of a fear of choking. I hate having coughs for that precise reason. I was a very healthy child and consequently didn't vomit once from the age of about 7 to the age of 16. It got to the point where I'd forgotten what it felt like to be sick and what it felt like just before that so the phobia developed. I used to get a swooping feeling in my stomach if someone even talked about vomiting or if I saw it and I would turn of TV programmes if there was any vomiting in them. That has got steadily better but I still get unreasonably anxious if I know somebody near me is ill.

I am similar (as probably mentioned in my OP), in that I haven't actually been sick in about a million years, so don't even know or remember what it feels like at all. It's reassuring to hear that you have had some improvement in how much it has affected your life though (Mind me asking how old you are now?). I also have a kind of extension of my fear into coughing and choking I think, only slightly, but I get very uncomfortable when people have coughing fits or when I get a cough. Partly because of this I think: (possibly triggering, feel free to not read )

Spoiler:

Show

My brother had a really severe cough for about six weeks when I was around 7 or 8 years old, and it was so bad that every time he had a coughing fit, he was actually sick - up to several times a day for several weeks.

So again, I can relate to you there.

The choking/coughing element of it started in year 4 when I inhaled my own mucus (sorry for the details but I think it's necessary to understand what I'm talking about) and almost choked on it when I had a cold. My teacher said 'I thought you were dying', which is not a good thing to say to a child. Then it happened again in year 7 on my second day of secondary school. I had a cough for months after that and went through a lot of problems with school attendance. My teachers thought I was emotionally unhinged but I was only quiet and scared at school.

Oh dear, how stupid must a teacher be to say something like that? I guess they were probably shaken and jittery and not thinking about what they were saying maybe.

In year 8 I too stopped eating properly for no apparent reason. I just felt like I couldn't swallow properly (fear of choking again; too aware) and I lost a lot of weight. The doctor knew it wasn't a standard eating disorder because I had a positive attitude towards food in general. I was used to get anxious leading up to meal times (which is probably why I couldn't swallow). The doctor did full blood tests and it turned out that I have Gilbert's Syndrome; they used this to explain my problems while simultaneously saying that it had no symptoms. Make of that what you will. I was referred to the outpatients department at our hospital and had my weight and height monitered until I was 16 but the eating problem had gone by the time I was in year 9 and I've never had any problems with eating since then. In fact I've become even more normal in my eating habits that I was before it all went wrong and I enjoy food immensely now.

Could you tell me a bit more about Gilbert's syndrome? I googled, but I didn't really understand much of it.. I can imagine it being frustrating having it all explained away with a medical explanation, thankfully that never happened to me. And great to hear your eating habits are better now too

I've had daily nausea (no vomiting) since the age of about 13 (I always thought it was due to Gilbert's Syndrome but I'm not so sure anymore). As you can imagine a fear of vomiting coupled with daily nausea is not a fun combination. While I've got used to regular nausea and can function in spite of it, I get anxious when I'm put in situations where you could construed to be 'trapped'. I get nervous on trains/in the cinema/at the dentist/at the hairdressers/in restaurants but I always feel better once I get there. I've learnt to overcome that feeling.

Erk, sounds horrible, I really feel for you I also get fearful in 'trapped' situations.

Tangent

Today I went on a 45 minute boat ride/tour around a lake, which is something that would have terrified me a few months ago!

And I also get worried about control and things, which my therapist suggested is closely related to the fear of being sick (almost the 'ultimate' lack of control), for example, modes of travel where someone I don't know is driving (train, bus etc), going to sleep (sounds ridiculous I know) and so on.

The strange thing is any anxiety that I feel is always related to how I feel and never to do with the task in hand. I get nervous about taking exams because I don't want to feel ill in the middle of one and not because I'm worried about the actual exam. I tend to work hard so I don't get as nervous about the actual questions and work.

That sort of makes sense I think. I get a lot more anxious if I am having a bad day or in a bad mood than having a good day, even relating to the same situation, because it's all subjective I suppose..

I've never had depression or panic attacks like you and I've always been in mainstream school. There was a very good special needs department at my school who helped me in year 7.

My school was also really helpful actually, they did everything they could, and my form tutor was just wonderful, but 'twas not to be. I think they didn't really know what to do with me most of the time. The thought was there but they just had no idea what would help me and what wouldn't. But the centre I went to was really great, and a very.. erm, 'life-enriching' experience, if that makes sense. A lot of stuff packed into one small room, twelve people and a few short months.

I was handling the nausea well as years of it had allowed me to get used to it but two years ago I started getting vestibular dizziness symptoms (not the room spinning kind but the kind that you feel within your skull, if that makes sense). I've been through some hospital departments to try and find a solution (ENT, neurology). My MRI was completely normal apart from one tiny looped vein but that's not the cause of my dizziness. I'm currently pursuing the hormone imbalance route.

I wish you luck with figuring out what's going on, and getting better.

Sorry about the long story but it is all relevant for explaining why I get irrationally nervous.

Basically years of not knowing from hour to hour how I will feel has made me tune into my feelings far too much. I'll go through phases where I just deal with it although I don't get out much and my friends are gradually slipping away because all they see is me making plans and then backing out. Sometimes I can't deal with it in a positive way and I get upset about the situation. That is usually when I go back to the doctor and try and get some sort of solution again.

I think most, if not all 'mental health' stuff - anxiety, depression etc, have waves or swings from more to less severe, both in the long and short term. I definitely ave good and bad days, good and bad weeks, and several-month periods of feeling generally better or worse.

My mam is actually on medication for panic attacks so I know what true anxiety can do to you and I know that I am nowhere near that afflicted.

My dad is on medication for depression (cutting down the dose slowly at the moment), so again, I have seen it from the outside too - he had a phase of very bad anxiety and panic attacks too. I think it actually really helped me understand my own shiz by talking through stuff with him, and helped us get closer to each other too And you should never say things like 'not that bad', because you'll just make yourself feel worse. As my dad wisely says (and I think I may have quotes before in this thread), "upset is upset, it doesn't matter what caused it or whether you think it's important enough, if you're upset, then that's reason enough to try and do something about it".

I suppose what I need is people who understand what it feels like to be on edge about things that other people don't even think about. My parents are supportive but I don't think they really understand.

Welcome to the thread! I really relate to this. I think one of the problems with emetophobia in particular is that it isn't something completely 'ridiculous' , like a phobia of cutlery or something (no offence to any cutlery-phobics here). No-one 'likes' being sick, so when you say it to people, they just think "well, duh, everyone hates being sick, you're making a fuss over nothing". One of the many reasons I hate this particular phobia .

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Do you have techniques for dealing with anxiety and nervousness? I find that counting in your head when you're in an uncomfortable situation can be quite calming and gives you some perspective. I also try not to think about the worst things that can happen as it all just escalates in my head otherwise.

My usual method is just to try and distract myself as much as possible. When I am getting really anxious and panicky, I generally pace around to spend the nervous/adrenaline energy, read a book (while pacing) turn on the TV and/or radio, just to make as may distractions as possible. Not thinking of worst case scenarios sort of makes sense, although I can't help but think it's 'nigh-on' impossible in my experience.

Thank you so much if you've read all of this .

Thank you so much for posting! It's great to hear from people with such similar experiences, and who have got through it and survived, too.



Edit: PS - I got a windfall of computer time so finished my replies today

[Watch Key Phone]

I'll just reply to my bit so as not to butt in on anyone else's conversations

(Original post by sclrjt)
Now onto Amwazicles' post:

Although I am fairly sure I should go and see one, I think I am a fair bit away from working up the courage to do so. Although I think counselling would probably be beneficial, I know that I would worry for weeks in advance of each meeting, and don't want to jeopardize my coursework doing so (since it is currently one of the only things I have going well for me). I am already anxious about a small talk I may have to give at the end of next year! I would however be perfectly willing to try medication and have been reading up about SSRIs and SNRIs. As far as I'm concerned, I'd be perfectly happy to take medication for life if it helped my anxiety and hopefully if it did have such a positive affect, I'd then feel more able to go along to counselling sessions as well. Has anyone had any success with a doctor in getting medication but without the therapy? In the meantime, I'll try some of the online CBT courses such as MoodGYM.

I can understand that you would be very anxious about going to the doctor. Maybe you could just try to focus as much effort as possible on getting yourself there as an important target. Even if it is very difficult and causes you a lot of anxiety, I really think it will be worth it in the long term. It's also fair enough for you to be worried about therapy, because it is a very strange and unfamiliar situation to be in with someone you don't know well at all. But again, I really think that after a few sessions, you would become much more used to it and able to really get the benefit. I would also say, though, that sometimes a particular counsellor just might not work for you - they might get on your nerves or not seem to be helping at all, and in that case, you should keep trying different ones until you find someone you really click with, because that is invaluable. I think it is likely that a GP would offer you medication immediately, but I think they would also strongly urge you to be referred to counselling at the same time. In my experience, the ideal treatment for any 'mental health' issue is probably both together. I think it would be best to view the medication as a short term fix, which will help you get the courage to go to counselling and tackle the deep issues.

Yep, this is a real killer. It leads me towards wanting to just give up completely. I have thoughts like "what's the point, you'll always be a failure" and finding it difficult to even get up in the morning as I'd rather hide than face things. With regards to people lying with their compliments, I can see that might get irritating. I feel people have been honest in their replies to me and I really appreciate that. You'll also have to take my word for this (and I accept that you probably don't have any reason to do so), but I am genuinely not lying when I say that you come across as an extremely kind, caring, compassionate and modest person. I know you keep saying that you made the thread as much for your own benefit as others', but you have taken the time throughout it to give thoughtful, considered advice and help to others in need, when you could just have posted whenever you yourself had a problem. That seems like someone with the qualities I mentioned. This also applies to everyone else who has taken the time to post advice throughout the thread.

I really feel for your low self-esteem problems. I don't really have any practical advice, but I've been digging into the deep causes of my low self-esteem with my therapist, and found that actually very beneficial (another argument 'for' counselling! ). I really do appreciate you saying that - it means a lot . I'm glad it has helped other people too, it's really great to see that there are so many people who have experienced similar things (not that it's great they have, just great that I've found some ) Thank you very much again

Thanks The reason I feel I've failed somewhat is that whenever you see a thread from someone nervous about Uni, the advice (and I'm sure it's good advice) is always to make sure you try to make friends early on (ie at Freshers' week) and to ensure you don't become a recluse, and I certainly haven't followed that advice. However, I will agree that managing to attend lectures full of people and occasionally making polite chit chat without running screaming from the room is an achievement for me, and I am fairly proud of my academic success

I guess I can see where you're coming from, but that advice is best targeted at 'confident' extroverts - which you (and me for that matter) clearly aren't, so the advice is essentially misguided coming from people who think that is the best solution for everyone. And anyway, there are other (less stressful, perhaps) ways of meeting like-minded people, like university societies etc. Or maybe they sound just as horrific and anxiety-provoking? Even so, you must encounter other humans all the time, so essentially, you can view every day as a triumph where you have experienced situations involving other people and maybe people you don't know and managed to survive. And of course academic success is a good thing!

Thanks It really means a lot to me to be able to post what I did and not receive a reply calling me a loser. I do worry a bit in case other people didn't care about experience/inexperience when they were younger, but have since changed their opinion by the time they got to my age - hopefully I'm just being pessimistic as usual. I reckon you're probably right that it doesn't define me to other people as much as it does to myself. I am trying to stop worrying about it for now, although I have ridiculous mood swings about it. I can manage to convince myself just before falling asleep that there is no point worrying about it (who really cares right?) and then when I wake up the following morning it's the first worry in my mind. So much for "things will seem better in the morning"!

Well of course I can't change your mind there, because I am younger, but I think I can safely say there will be people in any age group who have more in common with you than you expect, the trick is just to find them. i know this because I have always had difficulty making friends, whereas my older brother is always Mr. Popular, meeting really cool people who he has loads in common with, so maybe my 'potential friend' radar is just broken, because they must be out there somewhere (I'm staying hopeful! ). I can completely relate to the moodswings thing though. Some days I wake up in the moring feeling absolutely awful and like life is just terrible, and ten by the time I am leaving for school (although never again! ), I am fine and chipper. My doctor actually prescribed me the Pill at one point, because they thought the moodswing aspect of it could be hormonal, but I never took it so I don't know if it was that or not.

Thanks. Thinking about it, I guess lots of confidence and the ability to make people laugh is probably pretty important in clubs where both sides may well be looking for a one night stand situation and where other qualities might not matter so much, as there isn't necessarily any expectation of a relationship.

Agreed. I would say "try not to think about it so much" or "just be yourself", but I'm sure you've heard it all before, so I expect I can't be much more help. :/

Agreed. I suppose I was just checking I definitely belonged here I certainly didn't mean to suggest any anxieties are less or more important than others. If it's causing you mental and/or physical torment then it is definitely significant. I also think no person suffering from a form of anxiety should be ridiculed for it. No matter how strange it may seem, it is still extremely real and scary to the person suffering from it.

'Mental health' freaks people out a lot, I fear . I guess it's just very difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced it first- or even second-hand to understand in the slightest.

Thanks again to both of you for your advice. I shall try to be more positive about things and think seriously about going to the doctor, although for medication and not yet counselling as mentioned earlier. Hope you are both doing well

PS: Looks like I completely failed to keep this post shorter than the first - oops!

You're welcome, and thanks for joining out thread!



Edit: I got a bonus of computer time so I finished my reply today

[Emmie3303]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
That's such a lovely thing to do! I can't get over how thoughtful that is (PS - word mentioned in next paragraph )

You're welcome . It's never nice to be taken by surprise when you're afraid of something.

I am similar (as probably mentioned in my OP), in that I haven't actually been sick in about a million years, so don't even know or remember what it feels like at all. It's reassuring to hear that you have had some improvement in how much it has affected your life though (Mind me asking how old you are now?). I also have a kind of extension of my fear into coughing and choking I think, only slightly, but I get very uncomfortable when people have coughing fits or when I get a cough. Partly because of this I think: (possibly triggering, feel free to not read )

Spoiler:

Show

My brother had a really severe cough for about six weeks when I was around 7 or 8 years old, and it was so bad that every time he had a coughing fit, he was actually sick - up to several times a day for several weeks.

So again, I can relate to you there.

Warning again .
I'm 19 now . It's strange because having a little bug and being sick a few times when I was 16 made me feel loads better overnight although I still have a little progress to make. I began to realise that everything I'd ever been afraid of relating to being sick was unrealistic, which I suspect most emetophobes know but do not actually believe, if that makes sense . People always used to tell me that you know when you're going to be sick but they could never explain to me exactly what that feeling was like. I was always scared that I wouldn't know the feeling until it was too late but the reality was that I just knew instantly that it was going to happen and I had time to sort myself out. You can't explain the feeling but at the same time it's impossible not to know. I understand if you still don't believe me (afterall I didn't believe people either ) but it is this knowledge that has helped me be less stressed about it all. I'm still irrational about it but I am at least now equipped with some experiences that I can remember so I know how it all goes.

It can't have been nice seeing that happen to your brother . I think emetophobes develop their phobia because of certain events and experiences and I can definitely relate to this sort of experience. My brother also vomited after having a coughing fit. Cause and effect is so much more simple to a child so it's natural that after having an experience like that your mind connects coughing and vomiting and continues to do so until you have experiences that categorically contradict that idea. The problem is it takes more than just a coughing fit without those side effects to convince you otherwise. I feel like I'm rambling here .

Oh dear, how stupid must a teacher be to say something like that? I guess they were probably shaken and jittery and not thinking about what they were saying maybe.

They were probably quite shocked. We were just about to start some sort of exam. I think it was a CAT or something similar so it was silent until it happened.

Could you tell me a bit more about Gilbert's syndrome? I googled, but I didn't really understand much of it.. I can imagine it being frustrating having it all explained away with a medical explanation, thankfully that never happened to me. And great to hear your eating habits are better now too

Of course . Thanks for googling it by the way . It's basically a genetic liver disorder that is supposed to have no symptoms. I lack an enzyme that helps to process dead red blood cells, and gets rid of a pigment called bilirubin, which appears when red blood cells break down. It's complicated; I still struggle to fully understand it. The bottom line is that, aside from an increased risk of gall stones in later life and jaundice (which I don't really have), Gilbert's Syndrome is considered symptomless by doctors. Some sufferers only realise they have it when they get tested for something else but others have real trouble with it and have other problems that make things even worse.

Nausea is a recorded symptom of Gilbert's Syndrome, as are many of the symptoms associated with panic attacks and anxiety strangely enough. There is a strong link between Gilbert's Syndrome and anxiety and depression, although I am lucky enough not to experience any extreme symptoms related to these two conditions.

To be honest, I would like my doctor to be able to find an organic cause for nausea and dizziness so I can work on making the symptoms better. The nervousness certainly developed after the physical symptoms and I believe fixing one will help to fix the other .

Sorry, that was quite long .

Erk, sounds horrible, I really feel for you I also get fearful in 'trapped' situations.

Tangent

Today I went on a 45 minute boat ride/tour around a lake, which is something that would have terrified me a few months ago!

And I also get worried about control and things, which my therapist suggested is closely related to the fear of being sick (almost the 'ultimate' lack of control), for example, modes of travel where someone I don't know is driving (train, bus etc), going to sleep (sounds ridiculous I know) and so on.

Well done for going on that boat tour!
It doesn't sound ridiculous to me at all . I know it's quite cliche but I can completely understand the feeling. Trains are very hard for me. I've stood on platforms crying before now because it's so hard to put yourself in a situation where you are trapped. I find that being able to control some elements of the scary situation makes it easier to accept the elements that you cannot control (i.e the train moving between stations where you can't get off, having someone sat on the aisle who traps you into the window seat, being on the aisle instead of by the window). There are so many things that you can control. You can stop people talking to you by listening to your ipod or MP3 player. You can choose to get on an off peak train so that you can choose which seat to sit in. You can get on a train that stops regularly to reduce the feeling that you will not be able to get off. You can plan to arrive just before the train leaves so you have less time to worry on the platform . You get the idea .

You mentioned that you find it hard to surrender to sleep. It can't be fun . Do you have techniques to make yourself more comfortable? The only time I've been scared to sleep is when I've actually felt ill.

That sort of makes sense I think. I get a lot more anxious if I am having a bad day or in a bad mood than having a good day, even relating to the same situation, because it's all subjective I suppose..

I see . I agree, it's all very relative on what is current in your life and what has happened that same day. I always feel more confident if I've done something that day that I usually get nervous about.

My school was also really helpful actually, they did everything they could, and my form tutor was just wonderful, but 'twas not to be. I think they didn't really know what to do with me most of the time. The thought was there but they just had no idea what would help me and what wouldn't. But the centre I went to was really great, and a very.. erm, 'life-enriching' experience, if that makes sense. A lot of stuff packed into one small room, twelve people and a few short months.

It sounds like a positive experience, the centre . I think schools aren't very well equipped to deal with pupils with anxiety because they probably don't understand. It's hard to consider what might trigger people unless you've experienced it yourself. I'm not entirely sure what triggers other people as I don't have panic attacks and I've not experienced social anxiety (only a little shyness sometimes). So everyone please tell me if I ever say something that could be seen as a trigger so that I don't do it again .

I wish you luck with figuring out what's going on, and getting better.

Thank you ! I'll let you know how it all goes.

I think most, if not all 'mental health' stuff - anxiety, depression etc, have waves or swings from more to less severe, both in the long and short term. I definitely ave good and bad days, good and bad weeks, and several-month periods of feeling generally better or worse.

Let's hope for more periods of good days and months . This thread is so encouraging and after reading through it already seems like people are feeling at least more positive about everything and like they have support. Thank you very much for making it. I cannot claim to be going through what many people on here are experiencing but I do realise that I have a problem and this thread has certainly made me feel less like I am the only one who feels anxious about mundane things. You're brilliant at this you know .

My dad is on medication for depression (cutting down the dose slowly at the moment), so again, I have seen it from the outside too - he had a phase of very bad anxiety and panic attacks too. I think it actually really helped me understand my own shiz by talking through stuff with him, and helped us get closer to each other too And you should never say things like 'not that bad', because you'll just make yourself feel worse. As my dad wisely says (and I think I may have quotes before in this thread), "upset is upset, it doesn't matter what caused it or whether you think it's important enough, if you're upset, then that's reason enough to try and do something about it".

That's very good advice. Your dad sounds like a wise man .

Welcome to the thread! I really relate to this. I think one of the problems with emetophobia in particular is that it isn't something completely 'ridiculous' , like a phobia of cutlery or something (no offence to any cutlery-phobics here). No-one 'likes' being sick, so when you say it to people, they just think "well, duh, everyone hates being sick, you're making a fuss over nothing". One of the many reasons I hate this particular phobia .

Thank you . You've hit the nail right on the head for me. All I ever say to people is that I'm not very good being around ill people but I never tell them about me getting nervous, shivery and nauseous when someone in my house or flat at uni is ill. My flatmate had food poisoning and I had to go to an exam the day after I first found out. I was convinced until about 30 minutes into the exam that I'd suddenly start feeling the same way even though I'd had about 10 minutes contact time. My brother got ill when were in a static caravan and I had to put earplugs in and get in bed; it took me ages to get to sleep. That is the sort of thing that people don't understand or accept, like you said. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one but I'd much rather none of us had to feel this way . Still, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. One quote that has always resonated with me is from a book: it goes 'to see a candle's light, one must take it into a dark place'. It's only when something bad happens to you that you can truly shine and be brave.

My usual method is just to try and distract myself as much as possible. When I am getting really anxious and panicky, I generally pace around to spend the nervous/adrenaline energy, read a book (while pacing) turn on the TV and/or radio, just to make as may distractions as possible. Not thinking of worst case scenarios sort of makes sense, although I can't help but think it's 'nigh-on' impossible in my experience.

Distraction sounds like a good idea. Something you said earlier about changing 'what if' into 'and then' sounds like a good idea. At least if you're thinking of the worst case scenario you can also think of a solution or something that would happen next that is better .

Thank you so much for posting! It's great to hear from people with such similar experiences, and who have got through it and survived, too.



Edit: PS - I got a windfall of computer time so finished my replies today

It's my pleasure. It's nice to finally have some lovely people to talk to who know what it feels like and hopefully I'll be able to help other people too . Thank you for your very good reply; I appreciate that I've posted quite a long post again but I wanted to answer you well since you've taken so much time and effort in answering everyone else, as have others on this thread.

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
A newish one for me: putting off starting reading for my dissertation in case I mess it up and don't get the grades. I keep not thinking about starting uni again because it all seems so much effort and there's so many people outside of this nice bubble I have where people literally cannot talk to me because we don't speak the same language.

Hmm. I shall start the reading tomorrow. Slap me if I don't. I need a 2:2 and I'm actually interested in the topic, too.

Get reading!

Maybe you could try and distract yourself by doing it in a leisure situation, like putting some music on and relaxing, lying on your bed or something and then start reading, so it doesn't 'seem' like you're reading something important, just something you fancy reading 'cos it's interesting? That might be a silly idea..

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
Get reading!

Maybe you could try and distract yourself by doing it in a leisure situation, like putting some music on and relaxing, lying on your bed or something and then start reading, so it doesn't 'seem' like you're reading something important, just something you fancy reading 'cos it's interesting? That might be a silly idea..

how did you know? You have a point. I shall begin after dinner. Thanks!

Oh - happy mental health week! (or, you know, something meaningful).

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by Emmie3303)
You're welcome . It's never nice to be taken by surprise when you're afraid of something.



Warning again .
I'm 19 now . It's strange because having a little bug and being sick a few times when I was 16 made me feel loads better overnight although I still have a little progress to make. I began to realise that everything I'd ever been afraid of relating to being sick was unrealistic, which I suspect most emetophobes know but do not actually believe, if that makes sense . People always used to tell me that you know when you're going to be sick but they could never explain to me exactly what that feeling was like. I was always scared that I wouldn't know the feeling until it was too late but the reality was that I just knew instantly that it was going to happen and I had time to sort myself out. You can't explain the feeling but at the same time it's impossible not to know. I understand if you still don't believe me (afterall I didn't believe people either ) but it is this knowledge that has helped me be less stressed about it all. I'm still irrational about it but I am at least now equipped with some experiences that I can remember so I know how it all goes.

I often waver between being certain that if I was just sick once, all my problems would be gone, and that it would make everything a hundred times worse. Most of the time I try not to think about it or I end up getting anxious anyway. But I do know that everything I think about being sick is wrong, because I can't remember it at all, and if it was as bad as I think, then surely everyone would have a phobia of it, after all. I get freaked out at the thought that when you start feeling ill, there comes a point where you know that you are going to be sick. I think if I reached that point, I must just implode or pop out of existence, because everything I know about myself and every certainty I have about my own existence is based on the knowledge that I am a person who ISN'T sick. If I knew myself as anything other than that, I would live in a constant state of terror, knowing that one day I would be sick. Even though I know that's true really, I can't ever convince myself of it, because if I did, I wouldn't be the person I think I am anymore. So people saying 'you just know' actually freaks me out more. My dad (wise as he is ), always says that you never know until you are actually sick, because up until that point, it is possible to feel very sick and still not actually 'be' sick. That idea reassures me more, because it allows me to think 'if I feel ill one day (although I even find it difficult to judge what 'feeling sick' is actually like, because I'm so constantly worried that every feeling I get might be that), it doesn't mean I'll definitely be sick'. So that allows me t keep my belief that I will never be sick, until the last possible minute (at which point, i assume, I will be rather distracted :/)

And [/ramble].

It can't have been nice seeing that happen to your brother . I think emetophobes develop their phobia because of certain events and experiences and I can definitely relate to this sort of experience. My brother also vomited after having a coughing fit. Cause and effect is so much more simple to a child so it's natural that after having an experience like that your mind connects coughing and vomiting and continues to do so until you have experiences that categorically contradict that idea. The problem is it takes more than just a coughing fit without those side effects to convince you otherwise. I feel like I'm rambling here .

That does make sense, I think a lot, if not all, complicated mental health stuff like anxiety stems from things in childhood which would be acceptable to an adult, but don't get explained away so easily in the mind of a child, and end up escalating more and more. Although I can't actually think of any aprticular experience that couldl have 'caused' my phobia, because although my brother's illness was horrible, part of the reason was that I was already relly scared about being sick, and so I was freaked out by it from the start. It wasn't so much a cause as an addition.

They were probably quite shocked. We were just about to start some sort of exam. I think it was a CAT or something similar so it was silent until it happened.

Of course . Thanks for googling it by the way . It's basically a genetic liver disorder that is supposed to have no symptoms. I lack an enzyme that helps to process dead red blood cells, and gets rid of a pigment called bilirubin, which appears when red blood cells break down. It's complicated; I still struggle to fully understand it. The bottom line is that, aside from an increased risk of gall stones in later life and jaundice (which I don't really have), Gilbert's Syndrome is considered symptomless by doctors. Some sufferers only realise they have it when they get tested for something else but others have real trouble with it and have other problems that make things even worse.

Nausea is a recorded symptom of Gilbert's Syndrome, as are many of the symptoms associated with panic attacks and anxiety strangely enough. There is a strong link between Gilbert's Syndrome and anxiety and depression, although I am lucky enough not to experience any extreme symptoms related to these two conditions.

To be honest, I would like my doctor to be able to find an organic cause for nausea and dizziness so I can work on making the symptoms better. The nervousness certainly developed after the physical symptoms and I believe fixing one will help to fix the other .

What an odd illness. Thanks for explaining though I suppose it would be helpful to have some physical explanation for the physical symptoms at least, so that you can concentrate on figuring out the anxiety itself.

Sorry, that was quite long .

Well done for going on that boat tour!
It doesn't sound ridiculous to me at all . I know it's quite cliche but I can completely understand the feeling. Trains are very hard for me. I've stood on platforms crying before now because it's so hard to put yourself in a situation where you are trapped. I find that being able to control some elements of the scary situation makes it easier to accept the elements that you cannot control (i.e the train moving between stations where you can't get off, having someone sat on the aisle who traps you into the window seat, being on the aisle instead of by the window). There are so many things that you can control. You can stop people talking to you by listening to your ipod or MP3 player. You can choose to get on an off peak train so that you can choose which seat to sit in. You can get on a train that stops regularly to reduce the feeling that you will not be able to get off. You can plan to arrive just before the train leaves so you have less time to worry on the platform . You get the idea .

Thanks
That does make a lot of sense, and I think I do try to do that as well - controlling as much as I can so the uncontrolled bit feels smaller and less significant. I think most often, my problem comes before I actually enter the fearful situation. I overthink it in my head so much that I have to plan every minute detail, like I'm trying to predict the future or something. So even the parts I can't control, I imagine in my head the most likely thing that will happen, so as to avoid many surprises. But then I have a sort of difficulty with transferring from the imagined situation to the real one, because I get sort of 'stuck' in my image of what will happen, and scared that when I go to the real thing, it won't be what I expected. But if I actually do manage to get to the situation, whatever it may be (getting on the train, going to school), it is usually absolutely fine. And that is one of the reasons i hate anxiety and feel so stupid about it. I can be so anxious before I go to school that I'm crying for hours trying to force myself to leave the house and end up staying in all day lying on the sofa in tears, but then on the day that I do go into school, in chirpy and happy all day *in* school. I feel like it ends up looking like I'm faking, to the people in school, because the only 'me' they see is the happy one, but the ironic thing is, it can never be any other way. The two sort of reinforce each other - when I feel vaguely OK, I go to school, and when I feel bad, I don't. But when I go to school, I feel better, and when I stay at home, I feel worse! Sometimes I think if I had just a bit more willpower to force myself into school even on the worst days, I would never have dropped out of school, never had such a bad experience, and everything would be normal. But I'll never know, because that's the whole point - I can't go to school on the worst days, no matter how certain I am that it will all be fine when I get there.

Oh dear.. huge ramble again. I feel like I am spilling more to you that I ever have on this thread, maybe because I feel like you will understand even the most subtle complicated details. Feel free to tell me if you don't have a clue what I'm on about (I wouldn't be surprised )

You mentioned that you find it hard to surrender to sleep. It can't be fun . Do you have techniques to make yourself more comfortable? The only time I've been scared to sleep is when I've actually felt ill.

It's not . My method is to have the radio on quietly, and to just keep reading my book until I fall asleep. It's like the thing of 'knowing' I'm going to be sick - I can't let myself voluntarily put my book down and think 'I am now going to go to sleep', because I don't want to go to sleep, so I have to just pretend to myself that I will be awake reading all night, and if I happen to wake up in the morning and realise that I have been to sleep, then the worst is over so it no longer matters. It's a ridiculous thing, of course, but I have been doing it for so long it's difficult to break the bad habits. Part of the reason I am scared of going to sleep is because I don't want to wake up feeling ill. Like I'd rather be awake to feel myself gradually feeling more ill, rather than suddenly wake up in a few hours time at the point where I'm about to be sick. I'd rather have time to... prepare myself? Or something.. :/ And another aspect is that dreams really scare me. I don't often have nightmares or anything, but the idea of experiencing something that I can be so certain is real at the time, and turns out not to be, really freaks me out. Something to do with control again, I guess.

I see . I agree, it's all very relative on what is current in your life and what has happened that same day. I always feel more confident if I've done something that day that I usually get nervous about.

It sounds like a positive experience, the centre . I think schools aren't very well equipped to deal with pupils with anxiety because they probably don't understand. It's hard to consider what might trigger people unless you've experienced it yourself. I'm not entirely sure what triggers other people as I don't have panic attacks and I've not experienced social anxiety (only a little shyness sometimes). So everyone please tell me if I ever say something that could be seen as a trigger so that I don't do it again .

The centre was sort of, mostly good, in the long term, but in the short term, I did hate it really. I met some fairly nice people, but mostly people I hated, or got on my nerves, and the teachers were mostly (all) a bit rubbish. Our main class teacher was just useless - he didn't really get anything about us. I mean - imaging the scene. A class full of twelve emotional wrecks, one with asperger's, one with a chronic unexplained migraine, one with emetophobia, one who's parents were in prison... And he just didn't seem to understand how to treat any of us. It's not his fault, I'm sure, but it should have been obvious to whoever hired him, perhaps, that it was more important to choose someone who would be good with a bunch of mental teenagers, than someone who was a good geography teacher. And we had an art teacher, who we nicknamed 'Stressy Liz', because she was the most argumentative, short-termpered person imaginable. Again, at a school for emotionally unstable teenagers. (I got excluded for a day once, when I may have got into a shouting argument with her ). Anyway, /tangent again, overall, it was probably a good thing, because by the end, I hated it so much I couldn't wait to get out and back to mainstream school, which is probably the idea.

Thank you ! I'll let you know how it all goes.

Let's hope for more periods of good days and months . This thread is so encouraging and after reading through it already seems like people are feeling at least more positive about everything and like they have support. Thank you very much for making it. I cannot claim to be going through what many people on here are experiencing but I do realise that I have a problem and this thread has certainly made me feel less like I am the only one who feels anxious about mundane things. You're brilliant at this you know .

Thank you . And you're welcome , 'tis a wonderful thread, but it's made of the people one it, not just me

That's very good advice. Your dad sounds like a wise man .

Thank you . You've hit the nail right on the head for me. All I ever say to people is that I'm not very good being around ill people but I never tell them about me getting nervous, shivery and nauseous when someone in my house or flat at uni is ill. My flatmate had food poisoning and I had to go to an exam the day after I first found out. I was convinced until about 30 minutes into the exam that I'd suddenly start feeling the same way even though I'd had about 10 minutes contact time. My brother got ill when were in a static caravan and I had to put earplugs in and get in bed; it took me ages to get to sleep. That is the sort of thing that people don't understand or accept, like you said. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one but I'd much rather none of us had to feel this way . Still, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. One quote that has always resonated with me is from a book: it goes 'to see a candle's light, one must take it into a dark place'. It's only when something bad happens to you that you can truly shine and be brave.

He certainly is

I had an experience once where I went into school, the morning after my brother had been ill that night. I mentioned it to my friends hoping for some sympathy, here is a rough script: (I think I have already posted this, so sorry if I'm repeating mself)
Me: My brother was up being sick all night last night.
Friend1: Oh, it probably a bug
Friend2: There's one going round at the moment
Friend1: You'll probably get it.
Friend2: Do you feel sick yet?

I couldn't have written it better for anxiety-provoking myself.

That quote is beautiful, and very true too.

Distraction sounds like a good idea. Something you said earlier about changing 'what if' into 'and then' sounds like a good idea. At least if you're thinking of the worst case scenario you can also think of a solution or something that would happen next that is better .

It's my pleasure. It's nice to finally have some lovely people to talk to who know what it feels like and hopefully I'll be able to help other people too . Thank you for your very good reply; I appreciate that I've posted quite a long post again but I wanted to answer you well since you've taken so much time and effort in answering everyone else, as have others on this thread.

Yeah I suppose that makes sense, practical solutions.

Thanks for your reply! And I'm pretty sure I've trumped your long post, so there! (sorry for the extremely long rambles).

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
how did you know? You have a point. I shall begin after dinner. Thanks!

Oh - happy mental health week! (or, you know, something meaningful).

Good luck with the reading

What's mental health week? Is it mental health week?