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Anxiety experiences and support

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Reply 80
Original post by Amwazicles
I think the trouble with slightly alternative therapies like that is you need to believe in it for it to be very effective, and I was cynical from the start and nothing mde me doubt that.


yh i hear taaat

u hav to imagine whateva ur scared of recreate ur feeling of fear and tap away


styl hope whatever youre doing helps u
Original post by jack747
aha, don't worry.

i still stand by what i said though.

about talking about your anxiety if you need to let stuff out.


Indeed.

OK, stop distracting me, I must go to bed (trial shift at a shop tomorrow!).

:smile:
Original post by wasteman
yh i hear taaat

u hav to imagine whateva ur scared of recreate ur feeling of fear and tap away


styl hope whatever youre doing helps u


Thanks, I guess everyone works differently.

:smile:
I have social anxiety lol x Whenever I try to talk to people I don't really know, my mind goes blank and I end up sounding dumb lol
x
Reply 84
Original post by Amwazicles
Indeed.

OK, stop distracting me, I must go to bed (trial shift at a shop tomorrow!).

:smile:


Aha, goodnight.
Original post by Sabertooth
I've got terrible social anxiety. I've never been able to speak to anyone, I even have difficulty talking with people I know really well. All my childhood I didn't volunteer an answer once in class, and I hated getting picked on to answer, I'd turn bright red, shake, stutter, and talk crap. I still do this and I just finished university. Seminars were absolute hell at university. I tried skipping them as much as possible. I was meant to get help for it after I got diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder but then for some reason...er...didn't. My social anxiety has also really affected my ability to interact with people on a making friends level, I just finished a 3 year degree course, I didn't make a single friend the entire time, it was so lonely but I just seem completely incapable of having successful social interactions with people. I keep trying, god only knows why, I'm a sucker for rejection I guess. :tongue:

Btw does anyone else find breaking silence really hard? It's completely retarded but like if I'm sitting in silence with my girlfriend and I need to say something I find it impossibly hard to break the silence so I poke her until she says something first then I can talk. Anyone else find this?


I really feel for you. I have it to a mild extent and I too tend to avoid situations where I think I will make a fool of myself such as seminars, presentations, group discussions, birthday meals etc. Did you ever get treatment? Sorry if you mentioned it elsewhere in the thread, haven't had the chance to read all the replies.
Original post by Wild_Precious_Life
I really feel for you. I have it to a mild extent and I too tend to avoid situations where I think I will make a fool of myself such as seminars, presentations, group discussions, birthday meals etc. Did you ever get treatment? Sorry if you mentioned it elsewhere in the thread, haven't had the chance to read all the replies.


No not really. I was meant to but then I developed psychosis so the social anxiety took a back seat whilst I sorted that out. Now I've been discharged from the mental health services as the psychosis is sorted out although the social anxiety remains so I guess I'm never going to get help for it.

I've read a number of books about social anxiety to try and get over it that way but haven't had any luck there either.
Original post by Sabertooth
No not really. I was meant to but then I developed psychosis so the social anxiety took a back seat whilst I sorted that out. Now I've been discharged from the mental health services as the psychosis is sorted out although the social anxiety remains so I guess I'm never going to get help for it.

I've read a number of books about social anxiety to try and get over it that way but haven't had any luck there either.


Do you have any idea why you feel this way? I think I may have picked it up from my parents as they too are both very awkward socially and timid and would do little things like avoid the phone or the doorbell and I may have picked up on that.

That's great the psychosis has been sorted :smile:

Have you tried CBT?
Original post by Wild_Precious_Life
Do you have any idea why you feel this way? I think I may have picked it up from my parents as they too are both very awkward socially and timid and would do little things like avoid the phone or the doorbell and I may have picked up on that.

That's great the psychosis has been sorted :smile:

Have you tried CBT?


Yeah that sounds like it might be a reasonable explanation for why you do the same. We learn a lot from our parents. For me er, I think it's probably from moving school a lot due to bullying, I moved school, got bullied, moved again, got bullied again, etc it was constant. I put it down to that because I've never had any confidence, even as a child I was the shyest one. My parents didn't help either, they just shouted whenever I couldn't do something.

I've tried some CBT although it was more directed at depression/psychosis and I found it totally useless, maybe the therapist was rubbish but to me it just seemed like lying to myself or misrepresenting the truth so it didn't hurt as much. Like I'd say "no one likes me" and the therapist, after much mental masturbation, we'd eventually rearrange that to "No one I've met likes me BUT I haven't met everyone in the world yet" which to me, didn't really make me feel much better :tongue: Have you tried it?

Thanks, I'm pretty pleased about the whole over psychosis thing, just wish I could have sorted this out too. :frown:
Original post by Amwazicles
That does sound strange... I would usually expect anxiety to have at least *some* mental symptoms, but maybe it is buried very deep so only your subconscious realises you are anxious... (I'm no professional here). I guess you could go to your doctor and see what they say about it. :smile:

:doctor:


What do you mean by mental symptoms? I also feel that when I'm anxious, my symptoms are physical - yes, I feel uncomfortable with a situation and I want it to be over, but it's the physical things that actually affect me. For example, I feel cold and can't stop shaking and this makes it difficult for me to relax, so I can't speak properly.
Original post by Sabertooth
Yeah that sounds like it might be a reasonable explanation for why you do the same. We learn a lot from our parents. For me er, I think it's probably from moving school a lot due to bullying, I moved school, got bullied, moved again, got bullied again, etc it was constant. I put it down to that because I've never had any confidence, even as a child I was the shyest one. My parents didn't help either, they just shouted whenever I couldn't do something.

I've tried some CBT although it was more directed at depression/psychosis and I found it totally useless, maybe the therapist was rubbish but to me it just seemed like lying to myself or misrepresenting the truth so it didn't hurt as much. Like I'd say "no one likes me" and the therapist, after much mental masturbation, we'd eventually rearrange that to "No one I've met likes me BUT I haven't met everyone in the world yet" which to me, didn't really make me feel much better :tongue: Have you tried it?

Thanks, I'm pretty pleased about the whole over psychosis thing, just wish I could have sorted this out too. :frown:


I'm sorry the CBT didn't work well for you, but everyone works differently.

You still can get do something about the social anxiety, though. Try going back to your doctor and asking to be referred to a counsellor again, because it doesn't seem right to give up on it, even though it is good that some of your problems have improved :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
What do you mean by mental symptoms? I also feel that when I'm anxious, my symptoms are physical - yes, I feel uncomfortable with a situation and I want it to be over, but it's the physical things that actually affect me. For example, I feel cold and can't stop shaking and this makes it difficult for me to relax, so I can't speak properly.


Well, they way Stratos described his experience, it was as if he didn't 'mentally' feel anxious at all, but simply had the physical symptoms often associated with mental anxiety.

I can understand how the physical symptoms can have a bigger effect on the situation, but I don't quite understand how the physical symptoms could arise without any actual anxious thoughts. (unless they were caused by something else)
I have a bit of a phobia of pigeons. I dunno how sever you would call it but I definitely have to avoid them. Not so much so that I never leave my house just that if I see any I avoid them. Yesterday I'd gone all the way into town to pay money into the bank and some fool had dropped food on the entrance to the bank and a dozen pigeons were eating it. I wasn't able to enter until the pigeons had left and in that time the bank had almost closed. I blame my fear because of how easily I flinch.
Reply 93
I need to make a phone call to sort out some crap and I'm currently avoiding to make it, because I know I will end up with a potentially bigger problem on my hands :colonhash:
Original post by Amwazicles
...


I can totally relate to what you're saying. I have emetophobia too and I just stop eating when I feel full. Luckily, though, my weight is still okay, although people already tell me that I seem to lose weight. Not sure if I agree with them or not. The last time I continued to eat when I felt full, I ended up with severe anxiety until about 3-4 am in the morning, almost having fallen asleep in the bathroom next to the toilet, 'just in case'. So after that incident, I just wouldn't eat anymore if I feel full in the slightest.

I once also didn't actually know what it felt like to.. get stuff out of your system, because it just didn't happen for almost 15 years. Until I ate a cheap kebab shortly after New Year last year. :colonhash:

If you get sick after a meal, can you also not eat that meal anymore because you associate it with getting sick? Do you also remember every single time you got sick or anyone else got sick as if it were yesterday? I do and I just wish it would stop and I would forget. :colonhash: The last time was February and knowing that it's not the end of the world still doesn't make it any better.

But I'm with a university counsellor and he was able to help me significantly! I rarely get any panic attacks now and I try to control my thoughts and steer them to a more positive way. It helps me to think "And then...?" instead of "What if...?" because it makes it clear to me that I will not die or nothing bad will really happen if I do get sick again whenever I feel awful.

My counsellor also suggested that I may have a fear of losing control/not being in control in addition to emetophobia. I can't stand not being in control of whatever: sitting in a car when I'm not driving, not being in charge of organising something, developing feelings for someone, ... It drives me nuts and makes me anxious because I often assume something will go wrong if I can't control it. Which just makes me sound like a control freak, I know. :p:

I will go back to my counsellor when I'm back at uni. I felt so much better whenever I talked to him, but also pretty emotionally drained. I'm just glad I haven't had these bad attacks for a while that would last until the wee hours of the morning (like 4,5,6,7 am), so I assume the sessions with him have helped me!
Original post by BeyondandAbove
I can totally relate to what you're saying. I have emetophobia too and I just stop eating when I feel full. Luckily, though, my weight is still okay, although people already tell me that I seem to lose weight. Not sure if I agree with them or not. The last time I continued to eat when I felt full, I ended up with severe anxiety until about 3-4 am in the morning, almost having fallen asleep in the bathroom next to the toilet, 'just in case'. So after that incident, I just wouldn't eat anymore if I feel full in the slightest.

I once also didn't actually know what it felt like to.. get stuff out of your system, because it just didn't happen for almost 15 years. Until I ate a cheap kebab shortly after New Year last year. :colonhash:

If you get sick after a meal, can you also not eat that meal anymore because you associate it with getting sick? Do you also remember every single time you got sick or anyone else got sick as if it were yesterday? I do and I just wish it would stop and I would forget. :colonhash: The last time was February and knowing that it's not the end of the world still doesn't make it any better.

But I'm with a university counsellor and he was able to help me significantly! I rarely get any panic attacks now and I try to control my thoughts and steer them to a more positive way. It helps me to think "And then...?" instead of "What if...?" because it makes it clear to me that I will not die or nothing bad will really happen if I do get sick again whenever I feel awful.

My counsellor also suggested that I may have a fear of losing control/not being in control in addition to emetophobia. I can't stand not being in control of whatever: sitting in a car when I'm not driving, not being in charge of organising something, developing feelings for someone, ... It drives me nuts and makes me anxious because I often assume something will go wrong if I can't control it. Which just makes me sound like a control freak, I know. :p:

I will go back to my counsellor when I'm back at uni. I felt so much better whenever I talked to him, but also pretty emotionally drained. I'm just glad I haven't had these bad attacks for a while that would last until the wee hours of the morning (like 4,5,6,7 am), so I assume the sessions with him have helped me!


Wow, I can relate to everything you've said in your post! It feels nice to know there are other people out there - I've never met another emetophobe in real life.

I can remember very vividly all the times I have been sick, and all the times anyone in my close family or near to me phsyically (eg in school has been sick. The foods they ate are sometimes affected in my eyes, but sometimes not... don't really know why.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have also made some great progress with my therapist - that's great to hear you have, too :biggrin: And it doesn't sound like you're a control freak, but have a perfectly common (not unimportant) fear of control.

I haven't had any bad panic attacks in a few months now, which is good for me, although I am still often not getting to sleep until very late (2,3 o clock). I am sort of afraid of going to sleep, as another part of the fear of control. I am scared of having dreams because I don't like the way I can't tell whether it's real or not (the ultimate not being in control I guess).

I also feel similar to you about driving - although I am usually OK with someone I know driving me (eg a parent/family), I often get really anxious on buses with 'unknown' drivers.

I also know what you mean about emotionally drained. For me, it almost feels like 'emtionally washed', you know, all flushed out so you've got room for the new stuff this week. That sounds wierd, I know :colondollar:

Glad to hear you've had some improvements :smile:
Original post by KingGoonIan
I have a bit of a phobia of pigeons. I dunno how sever you would call it but I definitely have to avoid them. Not so much so that I never leave my house just that if I see any I avoid them. Yesterday I'd gone all the way into town to pay money into the bank and some fool had dropped food on the entrance to the bank and a dozen pigeons were eating it. I wasn't able to enter until the pigeons had left and in that time the bank had almost closed. I blame my fear because of how easily I flinch.


That sounds pretty horrible for you. I guess only the suffere can really judge whether something is 'bad' enough to be a phobia. I think fear of birds is quite a common one - something to do with the way they move suddenly and things, sort of as you said about flinching.

:smile:
Original post by Anatheme
I need to make a phone call to sort out some crap and I'm currently avoiding to make it, because I know I will end up with a potentially bigger problem on my hands :colonhash:


What is the phone call about/to (if you don't mind saying)? And what would the potential problem be?
Reply 98
Original post by Amwazicles
What is the phone call about/to (if you don't mind saying)? And what would the potential problem be?


I'm currently in St Petersburg, in a homestay organised by my university. My family is coming to visit, and they arrive tomorrow. I will move from my current house to a flat we've rented, and that's all sorted. My problem is that I need to be out of my current house at 7am, and I have with me two heavy suitcases. For some reasons that escape me, the owner of the flat I'm renting (my friends' mum) cannot give me the keys of the flat today for me to move in early tomorrow morning, and go get my parents at the airport (they arrive at 9am). Instead, I'm meant to get to the flat at 10am, while they'll go get my parents at the airport at 9am. It would all be fine, but what on earth do I do for 3h, and why could I not just move my stuff in and go welcome my parents at the airport?

I've called the daughter of the person owning the flat I'll be renting, and she told me to call her sister. Her sister's a bit easier to haggle with, so I'm hoping I will manage to get the keys or at least dump my stuff there before tomorrow, so I can buy some food and prepare everything for when my parents arrive, as well as come to the airport to welcome them. In the grand scheme of things, it's really silly, because it won't kill me to wait 3h, and I know my parents will be taken care of, but my plan would be so much easier is they could just give me the keys…

On another note, I was really scared of packing because I thought it was gonna be stupidly heavy, but it turns out my suitcase is under 25kg! Epic win! :biggrin:
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Anatheme
I'm currently in St Petersburg, in a homestay organised by my university. My family is coming to visit, and they arrive tomorrow. I will move from my current house to a flat we've rented, and that's all sorted. My problem is that I need to be out of my current house at 7am, and I have with me two heavy suitcases. For some reasons that escape me, the owner of the flat I'm renting (my friends' mum) cannot give me the keys of the flat today for me to move in early tomorrow morning, and go get my parents at the airport (they arrive at 9am). Instead, I'm meant to get to the flat at 10am, while they'll go get my parents at the airport at 9am. It would all be fine, but what on earth do I do for 3h, and why could I not just move my stuff in and go welcome my parents at the airport?

I've called the daughter of the person owning the flat I'll be renting, and she told me to call her sister. Her sister's a bit easier to haggle with, so I'm hoping I will manage to get the keys or at least dump my stuff there before tomorrow, so I can buy some food and prepare everything for when my parents arrive, as well as come to the airport to welcome them. In the grand scheme of things, it's really silly, because it won't kill me to wait 3h, and I know my parents will be taken care of, but my plan would be so much easier is they could just give me the keys…

On another note, I was really scared of packing because I thought it was gonna be stupidly heavy, but it turns out my suitcase is under 25kg! Epic win! :biggrin:


It does seem odd that they don't want you to have the key a bit earlier, but maybe there is some reason behind it that you don't know..

It doesn't seem silly if it's making you anxious - it doesn't matter why, what matters is the anxiety itself. I guess you've already told yourself that once you've made the phonecall, you won't be as anxious so it's better to get it over with...

Good luck and let us know how it goes if you like :smile:

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