[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by Anonymous)
The place I went sounds slightly different to yours (180ish pupils and you would have been in my year of 20-30 students I'm guessing you are female (correct me if I'm wrong ) and there weren't a lot of girls and I knew them all and I don't really know of anyone gong there part time..) but I guess it's similar

Yeah I've just never heard of anything even remotely like the place I went to Although sounds like mine was even smaller, like 50 students in total, about 12 in a class

No I haven't had any professional help unless you count sort of confiding in my mum who is a GP and going to that school.

That must be handy having your mum as a GP I would suggest you consider some therapy though It could really help you, and although I'm sure it's great talking to your mum, sometimes having someone completely impartial will allow you to be even more open about what's going on.

The problem is I just don't know how to stop myself when I'm in class and I don't really know what I can do in class that will get me out of the situation, if I ever got like that in my old school I could just walk out and calm down and everyone would just accept it but at college you can't just walk out for what looks like no reason (e.g. before I start hyperventilating, I have ran out when I was hyperventilating quite bad and felt a bit faint but otherwise I just don't feel like I can or when I'm with friends it's difficult because they don't fully understand and if I just walk of later people make such a fuss about it that it tends to set me off again.)

Thanks for the reply

Have you spoken to anyone at college about this? I definitely recommend it if you haven't Maybe a form tutor or one of your favourite teachers who you think would understand? You don't have to go into too much detail, just briefly "I get panic attacks", or something like that. College is a much more relaxed environment than school, and I really think it wouldn't be as big a deal as you are thinking. I know that doesn't really help in practise, but just try to let it happen if need be.

[rm00097]

Hi guys,

I haven't posted before but I've been viewing this forum for months.

Here's my story...Basically I've been suffering from anxiety in some form for most of my life and I believed it was just my personality. It came to a point last year (my placement year) where I just had a meltdown, I couldn't leave my house and ended up failing my placement year because I hadn't put in enough days.

I'm back at Uni for my final year now and I'm at my complete worst. I can't go to lectures or seminars as I'm so fearful about having a panic attack. I've been seeing a counsellor and he's been really helping but I've spoken to my department and although I've given them so much evidence to support my absence they are threatening to withdraw me for the year. Can they do this?

I'm so upset this has made my anxiety so much worse. I'm having chest pains and feeling sick constantly. They've given me two weeks to return to all seminars otherwise they will have to remove me.

I don't know what to do, I can't withdraw this year, University is the only thing keeping me going! It's such a good distraction and I'm working my ass off outside of lectures and doing all the work set if not more!

I hate this disorder!! It's ruining my whole life!

I really feel for you all in this forum, I wouldn't wish this on anybody!

Any ideas on what I should do? To be honest a friendly ear was pretty much all i needed.

Thanks guys

[insignificant]

(Original post by rm00097)
Hi guys,

I haven't posted before but I've been viewing this forum for months.

Here's my story...Basically I've been suffering from anxiety in some form for most of my life and I believed it was just my personality. It came to a point last year (my placement year) where I just had a meltdown, I couldn't leave my house and ended up failing my placement year because I hadn't put in enough days.

I'm back at Uni for my final year now and I'm at my complete worst. I can't go to lectures or seminars as I'm so fearful about having a panic attack. I've been seeing a counsellor and he's been really helping but I've spoken to my department and although I've given them so much evidence to support my absence they are threatening to withdraw me for the year. Can they do this?

I'm so upset this has made my anxiety so much worse. I'm having chest pains and feeling sick constantly. They've given me two weeks to return to all seminars otherwise they will have to remove me.

I don't know what to do, I can't withdraw this year, University is the only thing keeping me going! It's such a good distraction and I'm working my ass off outside of lectures and doing all the work set if not more!

I hate this disorder!! It's ruining my whole life!

I really feel for you all in this forum, I wouldn't wish this on anybody!

Any ideas on what I should do? To be honest a friendly ear was pretty much all i needed.

Thanks guys

The way i am currently trying to get over my fear of going to seminars and lectures is by reassuring myself that the things i am afraid of are completely irrational. So for example, I think i'm going to get locked in the room, so i check the doors and see it is impossible for them to lock as they are those swinging doors. i realise that people leave lectures and seminars all the time and say they have appointments and stuff so it would be possible for me to leave whenever i want at my control and look normal. i think that people will look at me for being on my own and think I'm weird but i look around and see that not only are there other people alone, but that people that are in groups are too absorbed in their own little worlds that they don't notice me. when i start to feel my mind wander in lectures i just go on the internet on my phone and either come on here and look at obscure threads or go on news websites and read articles. if anything i don't feel well, i try make sure that i sacrifice lectures rather than seminars because thats where attendance counts.

have you registered with your universities disability services? they liase with your tutors and tell them you can't come for a disability reason or thats why you haven't gone, and then they just have to accept it.
have you spoken to your personal tutor? if not they should've referred you to the disability services or to go to your GP .

[rm00097]

That's good advice thank you! My main fear is feeling trapped in there and that other's will think I'm weird for just turning up in week 7 I'm worried they will wonder where I've been and think I'm insane.

My personal tutor is the one who's threatening to kick me out, he hasn't been helpful at all. I got my counsellor to call and talk to him about the problems I've been having but that seem's to have made it worse!

He won't even let me return slowly. It's all or nothing basically.

I may talk to the University disability service but I don't know if it will do much good he seem's pretty adamant on getting rid of me.

Thank you for the help though

[Anonymous]

(Original post by rm00097)
Hi guys,

I haven't posted before but I've been viewing this forum for months.

Here's my story...Basically I've been suffering from anxiety in some form for most of my life and I believed it was just my personality. It came to a point last year (my placement year) where I just had a meltdown, I couldn't leave my house and ended up failing my placement year because I hadn't put in enough days.

I'm back at Uni for my final year now and I'm at my complete worst. I can't go to lectures or seminars as I'm so fearful about having a panic attack. I've been seeing a counsellor and he's been really helping but I've spoken to my department and although I've given them so much evidence to support my absence they are threatening to withdraw me for the year. Can they do this?

I'm so upset this has made my anxiety so much worse. I'm having chest pains and feeling sick constantly. They've given me two weeks to return to all seminars otherwise they will have to remove me.

I don't know what to do, I can't withdraw this year, University is the only thing keeping me going! It's such a good distraction and I'm working my ass off outside of lectures and doing all the work set if not more!

I hate this disorder!! It's ruining my whole life!

I really feel for you all in this forum, I wouldn't wish this on anybody!

Any ideas on what I should do? To be honest a friendly ear was pretty much all i needed.

Thanks guys

I'm afraid i can't give you much advice; as i go through bad phases too, however, not to the extent you seem to go through.

I find you often work up scenarios in your head about the worst that can happen, and you just want to avoid it. and you go to extreme measures to avoid it.
But it never is as bad as you expect it. not even half as bad as you expect.

i used to be terrified of leaving my room to go to class; frozen with fear. i felt crap in myself, too embarrassed to go. but when i tried not to think about it, just prepared myself, then realised it wasn't as if it should have even been given a second though. the other students never gave it a second thought. it was just one class or lecture out of their busy day/lives, but a massive ordeal for me.

perhaps try to arrange something with friends beforehand? or after? so you keep the focus off the class/situation.
i always turned up just in time, so i didn't have to sit waiting for a lecture or class to start. then would just sit near the back at the edge of a seat so i could leave any time if it gets too much. i bring water or tea. i've kind of adopted a state of mind, where i don't think too much about where i'm at and what's happening (which i suppose defeats the point of going to learn). i try to relax, it's the most important thing. i know i can leave at any time. after a while, it gets slightly easier, you can get used to it. it might still take a big effort to get there, and can be terrifying, but it feels good afterwards when you've done it. then you can start focusing on the work etc.

try and explain to them if you really feel you cannot do it. hope it goes well.

[maxcartwright]

(Original post by rm00097)
That's good advice thank you! My main fear is feeling trapped in there and that other's will think I'm weird for just turning up in week 7 I'm worried they will wonder where I've been and think I'm insane.

My personal tutor is the one who's threatening to kick me out, he hasn't been helpful at all. I got my counsellor to call and talk to him about the problems I've been having but that seem's to have made it worse!

He won't even let me return slowly. It's all or nothing basically.

I may talk to the University disability service but I don't know if it will do much good he seem's pretty adamant on getting rid of me.

Thank you for the help though

your personal tutor has an obligation to help you. he sounds like a bit of a dick, is there a disability service you can talk to?

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by rm00097)
That's good advice thank you! My main fear is feeling trapped in there and that other's will think I'm weird for just turning up in week 7 I'm worried they will wonder where I've been and think I'm insane.

My personal tutor is the one who's threatening to kick me out, he hasn't been helpful at all. I got my counsellor to call and talk to him about the problems I've been having but that seem's to have made it worse!

He won't even let me return slowly. It's all or nothing basically.

I may talk to the University disability service but I don't know if it will do much good he seem's pretty adamant on getting rid of me.

Thank you for the help though

Definitely talk to your disability service. Sounds like your personal tutor either thinks you're being a dick and ditching or that he's one of those people who just doesn't believe in mental health issues. If he stays thinking that way, go over his head to the next rung up the ladder. Or email individual lecturers for modules.

If you are doing the work, then you should be allowed to stay, especially as you have valid reasons for not going.

As for the turning up in week 7: no-one really cares. Not meaning to be harsh, but frankly people do start turning up around then, so as not to fail and people do just wander off before then because they're bored.

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
Lol, sorry, sleep called me desperately. Right, suggestions. I always suggest bowling, because that's sooo much fun. Or go see something - I dunno what you have, I'm a london girl so I can go "omg, you've never been to harrods?!" and go, but any local thing like that. Don't forget to include your friends, if you/they want to, because that's a way to keep it casual if you need to

No worries

Bowling is good.. although the only bowling alley we have is kind of accross the town, but still a good plan.

I don't know what Harrods is.. I thought it was like a shop? What do you mean go to see something?

Including friends is a good plan too Although they have all decided they hate him without meeting him because he mentioned that he smokes weed sometimes . But yeah that is generally a good plan. Could try to organise a group bowling or cinema or something like that..

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
No worries

Bowling is good.. although the only bowling alley we have is kind of accross the town, but still a good plan.

I don't know what Harrods is.. I thought it was like a shop? What do you mean go to see something?

Including friends is a good plan too Although they have all decided they hate him without meeting him because he mentioned that he smokes weed sometimes . But yeah that is generally a good plan. Could try to organise a group bowling or cinema or something like that..

Harrods is an amaziiiiiing shop. Massive. Going to look around it is a day out, really. Maybe you have a park you want to see, or some woods to explore or a little market to visit. (literally no idea of the size of your hometown). Also, side note, you should visit london and see all the awesomes.

Weed is not that bad. Bout the only side effect my boy ever got from it is forgetfulness. But yeah, at least you know they care - being protective and all that.

[insignificant]

(Original post by rm00097)
That's good advice thank you! My main fear is feeling trapped in there and that other's will think I'm weird for just turning up in week 7 I'm worried they will wonder where I've been and think I'm insane.

My personal tutor is the one who's threatening to kick me out, he hasn't been helpful at all. I got my counsellor to call and talk to him about the problems I've been having but that seem's to have made it worse!

He won't even let me return slowly. It's all or nothing basically.

I may talk to the University disability service but I don't know if it will do much good he seem's pretty adamant on getting rid of me.

Thank you for the help though

What he is saying and doing is against the conduct rules of the university. Get in contact with the disability services, get a doctors note confirming you have anxiety and if you take any medication, that you see them on a regular basis etc. Then apply here: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Disabled...on/DG_10034898

You will get an informal assessment, where they assess how they can help you.

For example I got
- a dictaphone so for when my mind wanders in lectures I can listen back at a later date
- a new laptop as mine was falling to pieces
- a mentor to meet with to help with education related worries and how to organise time
-extra time in exams
-extensions without question in coursework and assignments

and being able to say that i have a learning contract with the disability services if i miss a seminar/lecture as an explanation as to why i couldn't go, and they don't ask anymore further questions they just have to accept it.

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
Harrods is an amaziiiiiing shop. Massive. Going to look around it is a day out, really. Maybe you have a park you want to see, or some woods to explore or a little market to visit. (literally no idea of the size of your hometown). Also, side note, you should visit london and see all the awesomes.

My hometown is Swindon, if you've heard of it. It's medium-sized But yeah I see what you mean, parks and stuff are good, although not so much in winter

But I am a London girl! Born, bred and brought up Only moved out when I was eight

Weed is not that bad. Bout the only side effect my boy ever got from it is forgetfulness. But yeah, at least you know they care - being protective and all that.

Yeah, it's legal in some places too. I mean, I know it is illegal, but I was talking to my therapist and she agrees that it's sort of illegal but within the 'normal' range for people our age, same as occasional drinking and so on. I think my friends reacted a bit disproportionately to be honest . But yes, i guess it shows they care

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
My hometown is Swindon, if you've heard of it. It's medium-sized But yeah I see what you mean, parks and stuff are good, although not so much in winter

But I am a London girl! Born, bred and brought up Only moved out when I was eight



Yeah, it's legal in some places too. I mean, I know it is illegal, but I was talking to my therapist and she agrees that it's sort of illegal but within the 'normal' range for people our age, same as occasional drinking and so on. I think my friends reacted a bit disproportionately to be honest . But yes, i guess it shows they care

Winter means winter fairs! Things to see and do My best date ever was just wandering around parks in london in the snow.

:O but... but... harrods. Please tell me you know all the other things in london, right? If not, you neeeed to re-london (I'm an epic hard-core londoner, keep calling the UK London by accident )

I think it's more to do with upbringing - most of my friends were cool when I said bf used to smoke weed. One of them said she was worried for me, but then she's very conservative about that stuff. It's probably really bad for anxiety, despite it meant to be all calming.

EDIT: pretending I didn't see the part about Swindon to hide my woeful grasp of geography (heard of, too lazy to googlemap)

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
Winter means winter fairs! Things to see and do My best date ever was just wandering around parks in london in the snow.

Yeah I guess snow is pretty romantic But winter fairs? Please, this town isn't big, popular or interesting enough for that!

:O but... but... harrods. Please tell me you know all the other things in london, right? If not, you neeeed to re-london (I'm an epic hard-core londoner, keep calling the UK London by accident )

I was eight! And we were poor! I just remember going to the shopping centre in Ilford and one particular toyshop called Toystack (changed name now I think). If you know it, I will love you forever I've done the London eye, all the musems, aquarium, etc. Just not so much the shopping side

I love the idea of you just classing the entire UK as London

I think it's more to do with upbringing - most of my friends were cool when I said bf used to smoke weed. One of them said she was worried for me, but then she's very conservative about that stuff. It's probably really bad for anxiety, despite it meant to be all calming.

EDIT: pretending I didn't see the part about Swindon to hide my woeful grasp of geography (heard of, too lazy to googlemap)

Yeah I think that's probably it, my friend group are all hardcore geeks (myself included ). And I certianly wouldn't ever do it myself, but it just seems a bit odd to get quite so upset about something, when they know that they, and I, am responsible enough to make sensible decisions and look after my(our)self(ves). Ah well.

It's south-west.. ish. Kind of between Bristol and Reading.. if that helps? I'm bad at UK geography too, don't worry about it

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
Yeah I guess snow is pretty romantic But winter fairs? Please, this town isn't big, popular or interesting enough for that!

You have a german christmas market. You can go look at all the pretties http://www.christmasmarkets.com/UK.html < or follow and find something you like. Go out of town for a really good one or something. Ask him if he fancies it.

I was eight! And we were poor! I just remember going to the shopping centre in Ilford and one particular toyshop called Toystack (changed name now I think). If you know it, I will love you forever I've done the London eye, all the musems, aquarium, etc. Just not so much the shopping side

Fair enough. You mean you've never been to Hamleys?! You don't need to spend money there, or at harrods, most people just go for the looking.

I love the idea of you just classing the entire UK as London

pisses off my friends no end, they don't want to be londoners

Yeah I think that's probably it, my friend group are all hardcore geeks (myself included ). And I certianly wouldn't ever do it myself, but it just seems a bit odd to get quite so upset about something, when they know that they, and I, am responsible enough to make sensible decisions and look after my(our)self(ves). Ah well.

It's south-west.. ish. Kind of between Bristol and Reading.. if that helps? I'm bad at UK geography too, don't worry about it

yay, geek ftw! That... kind of helps. I shall look it up now and make a TSR map. (which would be sooo cool, incidentally, a map of density of TSRians)

[Anonymous]

Hi, um I don't really know what to say tbh.

This past year, I've found that I'm getting more and more stressed and anxious - partly due to family problems which have been going on forever but also with college/everything. I keep working myself up over the smallest of things for example, if I have a biology practical I'm worried that I'll mess everything up, drop the test tube or not get the results I want. It sounds so stupid, and I hate myself afterwards. I keep worrying that I'm not practical enough to do anything and I'll just mess everything up, to the extent that everyone might hate me and think I'm useless. It's like my hands don't work properly and I can't think clearly (something which I've never experienced before). I'm currently working at a charity shop, and I've just started there. I've messed up a few times, and today I left early because I felt like ****. I keep anticipating bad things to happen and it just makes me constantly miserable and worried. I don't know if I have anxiety or if I'm being an idiot.

Advice much appreciated.

[Duncette]

(Original post by Dan9878)
F yoy

If you don't mind me asking which meds have helped?

I have propranolol and diazepam. My anxiety tends to peak *ie panic attacks* in exams and exam like situations, so propranolol tends to keep that from happening (it stops your heart beat racing and your fight or flight response (panic attack basically) happening)

Diazepam is for when I lose my sh** and have a full blown panic attack and can't calm down - properly puts me out for the count.

I prefer taking the propranolol about 30 mins prior to a stressful situation, since it takes the edge off.

That being said, the best advice will come from your GP Anxiety / depression is an incredibly personal thing, so what works for me might not work for you

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
You have a german christmas market. You can go look at all the pretties http://www.christmasmarkets.com/UK.html &lt; or follow and find something you like. Go out of town for a really good one or something. Ask him if he fancies it.



Fair enough. You mean you've never been to Hamleys?! You don't need to spend money there, or at harrods, most people just go for the looking.



pisses off my friends no end, they don't want to be londoners



yay, geek ftw! That... kind of helps. I shall look it up now and make a TSR map. (which would be sooo cool, incidentally, a map of density of TSRians)

Wow, nice internet research skills! Just stalk my hometown and tell me everything I don't know about it

A TSR map would be awesome

I talked to my therapist about the whole situation with the guy, today, and I feel a lot better now. I think we (I) figured out that I just don't like him as much as I initially thought I did in terms of relationship material. I'm going to ease off and stop 'pursuing him' (as she describes it ), and if he 'pursues' me, then I will try to explain that I'm not interested in a relationship, although I think I'm cool with being friends. (even though initially when I stated talking about it all I wanted was to forget the whole situation, never see him and pretend it didn't happen.. ). Although I'm still completely angry and depressed at myself about the general future relationship thing.. but at least not so much this particular case anyway. So anyway, I feel a bit better about it now, and not quite so embarrassed/annoyed/anxious anymore.

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
Wow, nice internet research skills! Just stalk my hometown and tell me everything I don't know about it

A TSR map would be awesome

I talked to my therapist about the whole situation with the guy, today, and I feel a lot better now. I think we (I) figured out that I just don't like him as much as I initially thought I did in terms of relationship material. I'm going to ease off and stop 'pursuing him' (as she describes it ), and if he 'pursues' me, then I will try to explain that I'm not interested in a relationship, although I think I'm cool with being friends. (even though initially when I stated talking about it all I wanted was to forget the whole situation, never see him and pretend it didn't happen.. ). Although I'm still completely angry and depressed at myself about the general future relationship thing.. but at least not so much this particular case anyway. So anyway, I feel a bit better about it now, and not quite so embarrassed/annoyed/anxious anymore.

Ah, that's good. Glad you feel better Feel free to talk to me any time you want about relationships (even if you just want to complain about the lack of good guys ) I don't know if this is a comfort or a saddener to you, but I was 20 when I got my first boyfriend. But we'll be celebrating our one year in a month and I think that we're better off meeting each other later in life because we're smarter about all this stuff. It sucks when everyone around you seems to be in happy relationships, I know. The very best advice is to not let that suckiness stop you from doing fun things.

[Watch Key Phone]

(Original post by dungeonkeepr)
Ah, that's good. Glad you feel better Feel free to talk to me any time you want about relationships (even if you just want to complain about the lack of good guys ) I don't know if this is a comfort or a saddener to you, but I was 20 when I got my first boyfriend. But we'll be celebrating our one year in a month and I think that we're better off meeting each other later in life because we're smarter about all this stuff. It sucks when everyone around you seems to be in happy relationships, I know. The very best advice is to not let that suckiness stop you from doing fun things.

Thanks I may well take up your offer when in need of a rant

I think I almost expect(ed) to meet 'the one' (not that I believe in that) at college, because my brother met his girlfriend at college and even my mum and dad met at college, so I kind of have this idea that that's the way to do it.. although I know that's not really true.. Plus I just generally hate myself and feel diabolically inferior and jealous of my brother all the time and no matter what, which generally contributes to the whole low self-esteem and general self-hate... Rambling now. Anyway, congrats on your 11 months so far!

[dungeonkeepr]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
Thanks I may well take up your offer when in need of a rant

I think I almost expect(ed) to meet 'the one' (not that I believe in that) at college, because my brother met his girlfriend at college and even my mum and dad met at college, so I kind of have this idea that that's the way to do it.. although I know that's not really true.. Plus I just generally hate myself and feel diabolically inferior and jealous of my brother all the time and no matter what, which generally contributes to the whole low self-esteem and general self-hate... Rambling now. Anyway, congrats on your 11 months so far!

Meeting "the one" at college is very rare because most people change a lot at uni - I went in wanting to be a rich banker and now I want to be a poor teacher . You're only 16/17 so you have pleeeeenty of time. Relax and enjoy the guilt free oggling of the hot guys

As for hating yourself, *hug* You are awesome and amazing and you have helped so many people. You are kind and smart and generally great. I hope one day you can wake up and say "yes, I am amazing and I intend to show the world!!!"

EDIT: I say that a lot to you. But I intend to keep on saying it until you can feel it yourself, because it's true