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Confined

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    These walls close in
    The tension grows, all clenches, too confined
    For any kind of freedom in my mind

    The end has been
    Sadness came and went, now, desolate
    I wait for the next chapter, and fail to fill
    This in between

    I cannot roar freedom
    I barely speak: although these hours
    Are days, and days are weeks
    Time merges, drips gelatinous, all too slow
    And seems to shriek
    “This is not what I was meant for.” Oh, I know;

    I long for openness, or even life,
    The old turns new too slowly, as I fight
    Not to lose myself among this place
    I serve a purpose; nothing else is mine.

    Perhaps, soon, I shall hurl myself into the unknown
    A chance meeting? A connection? Danger, fear?
    I do not know, but I cannot stay here
    Everything I am is stifled and squeezed
    Drops of productivity, forced not created
    As I ask permission for choice

    Give me miles of land
    Give me a new morning, as the sun sets
    On my past: people I have known and loved
    Are distant now. The door has closed.
    In the corridor I wait
    Staring at the next one, willing it to open,
    Imagining what may lie within.

    My acres, I have said goodbye, as have you
    You know just what you have been
    Safe freedom; contradictory, but true…

    This place is too small for me.
    I’ve walked this road to many times
    The lanes scream “unwelcome”
    So I return, remain confined.

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Updated: July 21, 2011
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