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Really Really Really Racist Parents

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Today must be the worst day of my life.

    I'm so so so sick of my parents.

    I'm a black female who grew up in a predominantly white area so obviously most of my friends are white.

    Today I brought my boyfriend round for dinner because we had planned this for soooo long. My parents know his white but seem to just think I'm joking and stuff.

    My mum is the WORST my mum came here as an immigrant in the 70's and just has this concept that all white people are racists and the enemy and they wanna destoy blacks and keep blacks down, ruin their self esteem etc etc.

    In her eyes any white person is a racist who should be steered clear of. She see's them as 'devils' who ruined the lives of Asians and Blacks during the British Empire era to build themselves up blah blah blah.

    My dad is better but he just thinks I should be 'careful' with white people and see's them all as evil too .

    I have been seeing my boyfreind for about 6 months and have told my parents over and over and over that his white. I think they judged it as a phase.

    Today he met them for the first time and immediately my mum started speaking in yoruba (Nigerian language ) saying 'why did u bring this pink pig to our house'.

    It was bad because he couldn't understand what they were saying. Through out the dinner my mum made so many mean and snide remarks in our language to my dad then they'd both start laughing. It was sooo awful and awkward. My boyfriend knew something was up and left early. They clearly showed him he wasn't welcome.


    Anyway his gone now and my mum, dad, older brother and my uncle who is also a 'pastor' (ironic as hell) all gathered me in the living room for about 30 minutes saying all sorts to me calling me an 'oyinbo lover' 'coconut' 'disgrace' my uncle even tried to say I need to come to church for a prayer because my mind 'is not right'. They are also sure this is a result of me mixing with 'bad influences'.


    To be honest, I'm just clueless. I love my boyfriend but being an african I can't do the typical 'leave me alone let me live my life' thing, they already think I need prayer, I can imagine them calling all my family and 'pastors' to 'pray for me'.

    Now they are talking about EVERYTHING, how they think I should stay home for uni, how they will ship me back to Nigeria blah blah blah blah, this has just opened a can of worms.

    Do u think I should dump my bf and just forget everything to avoid any further trouble ????

    I don't know any yoruba boys I like


    Please I'd appreciate responses from Asians/Blacks/People with strict parents who understand going against the rules isn't really an option.


    x
    Invite the local BNP politicans round for dinner.
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    LOOOOL Reading some of the responses, the Black people on TSR are definitely the funniest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Today must be the worst day of my life.

    I'm so so so sick of my parents.

    I'm a black female who grew up in a predominantly white area so obviously most of my friends are white.

    Today I brought my boyfriend round for dinner because we had planned this for soooo long. My parents know his white but seem to just think I'm joking and stuff.

    My mum is the WORST my mum came here as an immigrant in the 70's and just has this concept that all white people are racists and the enemy and they wanna destoy blacks and keep blacks down, ruin their self esteem etc etc.

    In her eyes any white person is a racist who should be steered clear of. She see's them as 'devils' who ruined the lives of Asians and Blacks during the British Empire era to build themselves up blah blah blah.

    My dad is better but he just thinks I should be 'careful' with white people and see's them all as evil too .

    I have been seeing my boyfreind for about 6 months and have told my parents over and over and over that his white. I think they judged it as a phase.

    Today he met them for the first time and immediately my mum started speaking in yoruba (Nigerian language ) saying 'why did u bring this pink pig to our house'.

    It was bad because he couldn't understand what they were saying. Through out the dinner my mum made so many mean and snide remarks in our language to my dad then they'd both start laughing. It was sooo awful and awkward. My boyfriend knew something was up and left early. They clearly showed him he wasn't welcome.


    Anyway his gone now and my mum, dad, older brother and my uncle who is also a 'pastor' (ironic as hell) all gathered me in the living room for about 30 minutes saying all sorts to me calling me an 'oyinbo lover' 'coconut' 'disgrace' my uncle even tried to say I need to come to church for a prayer because my mind 'is not right'. They are also sure this is a result of me mixing with 'bad influences'.


    To be honest, I'm just clueless. I love my boyfriend but being an african I can't do the typical 'leave me alone let me live my life' thing, they already think I need prayer, I can imagine them calling all my family and 'pastors' to 'pray for me'.

    Now they are talking about EVERYTHING, how they think I should stay home for uni, how they will ship me back to Nigeria blah blah blah blah, this has just opened a can of worms.

    Do u think I should dump my bf and just forget everything to avoid any further trouble ????

    I don't know any yoruba boys I like


    Please I'd appreciate responses from Asians/Blacks/People with strict parents who understand going against the rules isn't really an option.


    x
    as long as they don't threaten to bang out the juju magic....its cool
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    (Original post by lubus)
    Your uncle wanted you to go to church? Kindly Remind him that he wants you to believe in a WHITE religion, a religion that was brought to you by WHITES, and that worships, yes you guessed it, a WHITE.
    Are you actually ****ing retarded or just trying to make a joke? I hope it's the latter.
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    Usually I hate it when people say this about people of foreign origin but I feel given the context here it's justified - your parents should **** off home.
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    (Original post by Jono404)
    Usually I hate it when people say this about people of foreign origin but I feel given the context here it's justified - your parents should **** off home.
    That's absolutely hilarious
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    (Original post by RedGuy)
    Are you actually ****ing retarded or just trying to make a joke? I hope it's the latter.
    Why would that be funny?
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    TBH regardless of all this colonial *******s and believing that gives you the right to come here generations later...

    if she honestly believes white people are as racist and evil as she claims, then why the **** would she want to live here?? She'd have to be massively financially well off to want to live in total social exclusion in a world full of hatred for her kind....

    and the simple fact is i doubt she is that well off. working class per chance??

    So therefore even she must know her own beliefs are all rubbish and lies. She certainly cant believe them that strongly if she came to live here.
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    (Original post by lubus)
    Your uncle wanted you to go to church? Kindly Remind him that he wants you to believe in a WHITE religion, a religion that was brought to you by WHITES, and that worships, yes you guessed it, a WHITE.
    Man, you can't be this thick...can you? That's worrying.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Today must be the worst day of my life.

    I'm so so so sick of my parents.

    I'm a black female who grew up in a predominantly white area so obviously most of my friends are white.

    Today I brought my boyfriend round for dinner because we had planned this for soooo long. My parents know his white but seem to just think I'm joking and stuff.

    My mum is the WORST my mum came here as an immigrant in the 70's and just has this concept that all white people are racists and the enemy and they wanna destoy blacks and keep blacks down, ruin their self esteem etc etc.

    In her eyes any white person is a racist who should be steered clear of. She see's them as 'devils' who ruined the lives of Asians and Blacks during the British Empire era to build themselves up blah blah blah.

    My dad is better but he just thinks I should be 'careful' with white people and see's them all as evil too .

    I have been seeing my boyfreind for about 6 months and have told my parents over and over and over that his white. I think they judged it as a phase.

    Today he met them for the first time and immediately my mum started speaking in yoruba (Nigerian language ) saying 'why did u bring this pink pig to our house'.

    It was bad because he couldn't understand what they were saying. Through out the dinner my mum made so many mean and snide remarks in our language to my dad then they'd both start laughing. It was sooo awful and awkward. My boyfriend knew something was up and left early. They clearly showed him he wasn't welcome.


    Anyway his gone now and my mum, dad, older brother and my uncle who is also a 'pastor' (ironic as hell) all gathered me in the living room for about 30 minutes saying all sorts to me calling me an 'oyinbo lover' 'coconut' 'disgrace' my uncle even tried to say I need to come to church for a prayer because my mind 'is not right'. They are also sure this is a result of me mixing with 'bad influences'.


    To be honest, I'm just clueless. I love my boyfriend but being an african I can't do the typical 'leave me alone let me live my life' thing, they already think I need prayer, I can imagine them calling all my family and 'pastors' to 'pray for me'.

    Now they are talking about EVERYTHING, how they think I should stay home for uni, how they will ship me back to Nigeria blah blah blah blah, this has just opened a can of worms.

    Do u think I should dump my bf and just forget everything to avoid any further trouble ????

    I don't know any yoruba boys I like


    Please I'd appreciate responses from Asians/Blacks/People with strict parents who understand going against the rules isn't really an option.


    x
    I think you deserve this for trying to be a rebel to be honest. You didn't have to bring your boyfriend round your house, and since you're close to going to university you could have just waited it out a little longer. If they make you stay at home for university you only have yourself to blame, though I think shipping you (back?) to Nigeria is a bit extreme, though it's probably an exaggeration on your part. Family come first before boyfriends at your age, remember it.
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    (Original post by warrenpenalver)
    TBH regardless of all this colonial *******s and believing that gives you the right to come here generations later...

    if she honestly believes white people are as racist and evil as she claims, then why the **** would she want to live here?? She'd have to be massively financially well off to want to live in total social exclusion in a world full of hatred for her kind....

    and the simple fact is i doubt she is that well off. working class per chance??

    So therefore even she must know her own beliefs are all rubbish and lies. She certainly cant believe them that strongly if she came to live here.
    Generations later? Go look up the date of independence of most African countries. Many people may not have known exactly what things were like before coming here. You have no idea of the disillusions many people have of this country (regardless of how great I think it is), why do you think they keep on coming? The whole ranting about benefits is a very recent thing btw. Most of the first wave of immigrants didn't sit on benefits, they simply wanted to work in this great paradise of a country.
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    It might sound really strange, but perhaps you should talk to your boyfriend about it. It might seem really rude to tell him that, but if he loves you, and is therefore worth all these trouble, he would be there to share your troubles and perhaps change your parent's view of him, he's the only one who can do that.
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    Have you met his parents? If they are fine with the relationship I would suggest asking them to get in contact with your parents and set up some kind of meeting to try and work something out. The reason I say this, is because a white friend of mine started dating an asian girl and her parents were dead against it ,although from what he said it wasn't really for racist reasons,like they were against white people specifically .So at some point they met his parents, and afterwards they were allowed to carry on seeing each other ,I think because they realised they were quite conservative as well and had respectable lives. That matters to parents.

    You might find if they met his parents, they would come to some kind of understanding with them.If they have 'traditional values'. If your family really are set in it's ways it may well be very difficult to carry on.But if you both have feelings for each other, you ought to carry on.You may find in time your family come to accept him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My mum is the WORST my mum came here as an immigrant in the 70's and just has this concept that all white people are racists and the enemy and they wanna destoy blacks and keep blacks down, ruin their self esteem etc etc.

    In her eyes any white person is a racist who should be steered clear of. She see's them as 'devils' who ruined the lives of Asians and Blacks during the British Empire era to build themselves up blah blah blah.

    My dad is better but he just thinks I should be 'careful' with white people and see's them all as evil too .
    Well, I apologise that as a white person with quite accepting parents, I can't offer much advice.

    What I did want to ask is why your parents came here in the first place if they hold these views? I mean, if I didn't like Chinese people I wouldn't go live in China, right? Sounds odd to me, not something I've heard much of before.
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    (Original post by Hellz_Bellz!)
    Haha, you gonna start with that again :P
    You know how it is bbz
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    Racist people are not nice.
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    i understand what your going through. Coming from an african family i know that if your parents dont like what your doing they will get the whole family invoved and pressure you to do what they want. My advice to you is like everyone says hide it from your parents untill your serious.
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    If white people were so bad why did she stay in this country since the 70s?

    :lolwut:
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    Tell them to **** off? And whilst your at it, ask them why they immigrated to a majority white country when they're so against immigrating. And also, tell them to **** off if they're going to immigrate and then not make the effort to integrate.

    (I'm not white)
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    That's an unpleasant situation to be in :/
    I'm white, and there's a bit of a mystery about my great great Grandmother, who is believed to have been Jamaican or African etc. I've always been brought up to believe that the colour of your skin is not a means by which to segregate yourself from another human being. It doesn't matter, shouldn't matter what colour, race, nationality etc you are, just so long as you're a good person that is what should be important, surely??
    I understand exactly where you're coming from in that I became really close to being with someone who was a Jehovah's Witness, only they're far worse than you're Parents because JW's tend to believe (though I know this is a miniority, I have met some lovely, down-to-earth ppl who are JW's) that they are above everyone else and that they should only be with fellow JW's because everyone else aren't worthy because they're not of the same Religion blah blah blah (if you read my 'What to do??' thread it's a little old now but might give you some solace ) - and I was very, very hurt by these particular ppl, whom I had done a lot for yet still was not accepted as 'worthy' :rolleyes:
    To be honest this is the 21st Century now, and it is sad that your Parents still believe all white ppl are racist and out to hurt them - I am in no way going to judge though because History goes a long way. Perhaps it'd be best if you explained to them that your Friends are decent, honest, trustworthy, interesting ppl who you believe are worthy of your time and so they ought to be given a chance??
    I know what situation you're in if your Parents are lock down on the sense that they will not under any circumstances change their mind - I'm in a similar situation in that my Parents don't trust the internet and so won't allow me to meet anyone from the internet. As it happens, one particular guy I've gotten close to via the internet happens to be black, and earlier on before things got out of hand and I was forced not to talk to him anymore, my Parents were horrified that he believed I might think less of him because of his skin colour, as was I. It was awful to think that in this day in age ppl would still think skin colour was a worthy cause of segregation!! Some of our neighbours are black and some of our closest Friends are too, they are the loveliest of ppl and exactly the same as anyone else, we see them as our Friends, not label anyone as 'black' or 'white' or whatever (they could be bright purple with orange spots on and it wouldn't matter to us, provided they were honest, good, trustworthy ppl ) - because in our eyes, they're our Friends no matter what
    I think it might be best that your Parents are encouraged to interact with everyone, show them the good that has come from intergration and the sense of being equal as opposed to being concerned about ppl misjudging them because of their race, and vice versa. I'd like to hope that I am a good person, I help ppl whenever, however I can all the time and get much joy out of it
    I live my Life and treat others how I believe is correct - that happens to be through treating everyone else as an equal and allowing myself the opportunity to make Friends whenever possible, because that way I can be garunteed the chance of fufilment through the opportunity to make others feel better I could never, would never think any less or more of a person over anyone else, simply because of their race or skin colour - each person is an individual and ought to be judged as such, not made out to be any less worthy as a human being because of anything they may possess that is different from anyone else
    All the Best, though I'm sure your situation will turn out ok, because it's obvious your Family Love and care for you and they're only looking out for your best interests based on their knowledge of the situation (which may be pretty poor in comparison) - I know the actions my Parents have taken about stopping me meeting anyone from the internet are only because They Love and care for me, and don't want me to get hurt
Updated: April 9, 2012
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