Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I really hate it at cambridge but I feel like I can't leave..help! :(

Announcements Posted on
Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    hi... so im new here and I want to see if anyone is willing to give me some help..

    I've been at cambridge 2 years and its the biggest regret of my life... well I have actually learnt a lot from my experiences there and I feel like I have met some amazing people and there is so much on offer..

    the problem is I just hate my course- and some of my fellow students advised me to just talk to the senior tutor about it- and I know quite a few other students who were in the same situation and switched and now they're happy- but I swear my senior tutor hates me! I tried to explain that I'm just not enjoying my subject and what can I do?- this was back in first year right after I started my course..

    long story short I have repeatedly asked to switch courses because I honestly believe that I need to do something new and I'd be motivated- and I can't see why that's such an unreasonable attitude to take... but when I finally found a faculty that said they'd be happy to take me my senior tutor vetoed it just like that - so now I'm at the end of my 2nd year and I really hate it but I feel so guilty and scared about leaving because my parents and everyone around me keeps telling me cambridge is so amazing and I'll regret it if I leave such an amazing university- but honestly its just not for me- I picked the wrong course, I just don't like the way they do things in cambridge and I can't take the work load- and I'm definitely not going into a job where it really matters- and all I want is to leave university feeling like I got to get my teeth into something new and something that really interests me...


    ahahahahha please help!

    ok this is a bit long so you can just skip this if you can't be bothered...

    and the problem was that I wanted to switch from languages to english and apparently english is very very competitive- and I think it was obvious it was more because I disliked my course than because I really wanted to do english- plus I wasnt deemed good at it- which I think is fair enough, but it still left me in the same situation... so I resolved to try to make the best of it but I just hated first year and had no motivation- I managed to get a 2.1 anyway and by the end of first year I was so unhappy I was an inch away from switching to another university...
    I had contacted other unis and it looked really good- but when I tried to bring it up with my parents they got really angry... and perhaps I should have stood my ground but I felt like after all I put them through when I was so determined to get there I couldn't just up and leave... and I thought well maybe I might enjoy doing another language so I looked into AMES- but 'I didn't get a good enough 2.1'
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    there's obviously more to that long story but I don't want to bore you..
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Maybe you could get your parents involved in helping you switch course? Get them to speak to your senior tutor instead. If all they care about is you staying at Cambridge, I can't see why they would stop you changing course...
    • 5 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    i guess you need to somehow soften up your tutor to listen to you. If not, cant you contact someone else, the dean or someone similar who can help you to switch your course?
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Could you get a job working in a factory in the holidays? That might help make the course you are on seem slightly more appealing.

    (Not being funny - this is a true example from my life. It's all about perspective.)
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Dark Lord)
    Maybe you could get your parents involved in helping you switch course? Get them to speak to your senior tutor instead. If all they care about is you staying at Cambridge, I can't see why they would stop you changing course...

    sorry- no they have absolutely no problem with me changing course- its just my senior tutor who has refused permission- and I don't suppose there is anyway around him?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    When I first left school, my parents didnt agree with my choice of study (Art and Design) and told me it wouldnt get me anywhere in life, so I ended up studying I.T, which I will quite openly admitt I am rubbish at as I'm not technically minded and find my current job boring as hell!

    I'm now 26 and going back to uni to study graphic design, something I should of done in the first place.

    Nobody can tell you what to do. Your parents may not be happy with the path you want to follow in life, but it is YOUR LIFE, and you will only regret it later down the line. If you feel you would be better of at another uni, bite the bullet and do it. After all, its you that has to live with it for the next 20, 30, 40 years.

    Hope this helps!
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jez RR)
    Could you get a job working in a factory in the holidays? That might help make the course you are on seem slightly more appealing.

    (Not being funny - this is a true example from my life. It's all about perspective.)
    I do appreciate the point you're trying to make- I've had some very boring jobs and you're right- it does make any university course seem pretty bearable

    I do feel extremely lucky that I have affluent parents and I got a place at a university for the same price as any other which will open a lot of doors for me- but it just feels like surely its not too much to ask to do a course I'm interested in as long as the relevant faculty accepts me? I feel like my whole higher education has been a waste of money and it just feels so futile killing myself for at best getting the same grade as almost everyone else- at school if I worked hard I got an A and had something to be proud of- here I worked harder for a 2.2 this year than I did last year for a 2.1 and the marks I get for each paper never seem to even reflect the effort I put in- and sometimes seem totally arbitrary...

    Its just starting to get to me how amazing everyone makes out cambridge to be- because actually every institution has its ups and downs and cambridge just isn't right for some people...
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bluemax)
    i guess you need to somehow soften up your tutor to listen to you. If not, cant you contact someone else, the dean or someone similar who can help you to switch your course?
    Idk- I feel like surely one person can't have the absolute power to veto this kind of decision...? but my experience of cambridge is that things are arranged in such a way that it works out like that.. I've tried to ask if there is any alternative to going through he senior tutor and the answer seems to be pretty much no

    and isn't the dean more like a figurehead than someone who is actually involved with the day to day running of student life? that's the impression I get..
    • 14 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Who is above the senior tutor? Can you go to him/her?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Are you getting a reason from the senior tutor as to why you aren't able to switch tripos? If you have completed a Part 1 then there shouldn't be any issues switching tripos, as long as you can demonstrate the skills needed and as long as its not totally left field i.e English to Physic based NatSci stuff. Have you discussed and got the support of your Personal Tutor and DoS about this?
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I just think considering how far you are into the course if you've been there two years now, maybe you could hang on and complete it and then perhaps go on to study what you want at postgrad level somewhere else.

    The big concern is that you leave uni altogether and then end up out of the loop and regretting it - especially given the hike in fees if you do decide you want to go back at a later date.
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jez RR)
    I just think considering how far you are into the course if you've been there two years now, maybe you could hang on and complete it and then perhaps go on to study what you want at postgrad level somewhere else.

    The big concern is that you leave uni altogether and then end up out of the loop and regretting it - especially given the hike in fees if you do decide you want to go back at a later date.
    ok I know this sounds really stupid and mellow-dramatic but I just feel like the way the college just makes me feel like the absolutely couldn't care less what is important to me and I feel like this senior tutor is so disdainful and makes me lose all my self-respect in grovelling to him like this that I makes me feel like I don't want to finish my course on principle- like they win or something- I know thats stupid because obviously the only person in the world who will get screwed over by that is me... but it just gets me really upset how everyone goes on and on about how I need to finish my cambridge degree when from what I can see there are lots of other unis which offer courses every bit as good as mine- actually better in some cases... and I could actually have a life at the same time whereas in cambridge I feel like I'm working a 40hr a week job as it is just to get by and I have 0 social life.. and I feel like all I'm going to be happy about at the end of my degree is I can tell all those people who made my life so unecessarily difficult all that time where to stick it.. :/

    and yeah I'm thinking of switching unis not dropping out- I do appreciate that I need some degree ....
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    http://www.camstudentadvice.co.uk/contacts/

    Contact the education officer. They should know more on the specifics of all this.
    • 24 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Why don't you finish the degree and do a post-grad? Or is that not an option?
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by who?!)
    Wait, are you one of those indecisive people? If so, then I am very like you. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side... What exactly is it you don't like about languages?

    yeah in a way I am- but I think its also very much that the experiences I've had on my gap year and at uni have made me grow as a person and I've just sort of 'grown out' of this course and it just doesn't speak to me anymore

    i actually absolutely love languages- its just that the course isn't really about how good you are at learning languages- this linguistics professor actually told me that behind closed doors the mml faculty are quite open about the fact that they aren't interested in teaching languages and are all about the literature

    so basically I can never justify working on my language because I get a 2.1 without any work at all- I skipped most of my language classes this year because the non-language papers took up all my time and I still got a 2.1 in them and a third in my literature paper I really love literature but not taught like this- I like seminar style classes like I had at a-level where I get to share my ideas and hear other people's - at cambridge it feels like 90% you have to try to teach yourself and then you get 1hr every 2 weeks for some professor who clearly is bored stiff teaching you and thinks your thick and wonders why they even let you in to tell you everything they don't like about your essay and give you no helpful advice about how to improve it...

    and I have done some linguistics papers- and I'm glad I did but they're just too hard and abstract for me.. it was just way too much theory that I never got my head around..
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hennessybubbles)
    ok I know this sounds really stupid and mellow-dramatic but I just feel like the way the college just makes me feel like the absolutely couldn't care less what is important to me and I feel like this senior tutor is so disdainful and makes me lose all my self-respect in grovelling to him like this that I makes me feel like I don't want to finish my course on principle- like they win or something- I know thats stupid because obviously the only person in the world who will get screwed over by that is me... but it just gets me really upset how everyone goes on and on about how I need to finish my cambridge degree when from what I can see there are lots of other unis which offer courses every bit as good as mine- actually better in some cases... and I could actually have a life at the same time whereas in cambridge I feel like I'm working a 40hr a week job as it is just to get by and I have 0 social life.. and I feel like all I'm going to be happy about at the end of my degree is I can tell all those people who made my life so unecessarily difficult all that time where to stick it.. :/

    and yeah I'm thinking of switching unis not dropping out- I do appreciate that I need some degree ....
    I think you just hit the nail on the head It all sounds very familiar.

    If you switch, do it for the right reasons and don't burn your bridges. Being prepared to compromise isn't the same as grovelling.

    (I say this as someone who has walked away from countless courses, jobs and relationships because I'm so damn hard-headed.)
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jez RR)
    I think you just hit the nail on the head It all sounds very familiar.

    If you switch, do it for the right reasons and don't burn your bridges. Being prepared to compromise isn't the same as grovelling.

    (I say this as someone who has walked away from countless courses, jobs and relationships because I'm so damn hard-headed.)

    yeah- except I put up with the same s*** from some idiot boy for months because I feel like im not worth more than that at cambridge... and I'd rather put up with his s*** anyday than put up with this d***head of a senior tutor .. :/

    and i think its already too late for burning my bridges- it certainly hasn't helped, but it feels like nothing would make any difference to these people so its like I have nothing to lose..

    and I think I did have some really good reasons for switching- I thought starting chinese or arabic would be much more exciting because they are notoriously hard languages and I'd be pushed as a language learner... and then throughout second year all my frustrations with cambridge and all the student protest stuff made me aware of how much I care about education and I realised that is what I want to do in life... so it makes sense to study the academic/theoretical side of education- because I don't just want to be a teacher... (everyone including this senior tutor saying 'ok why don't you just finish your degree and do a PGCE?- which just shows how much ignorance there is about the field and it's importance hence why I feel so strongly about it and what to study it so much!)

    arg
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by who?!)
    So you have become more open-minded and maybe the rigid Oxbridge system isn't for you, you now feel? I think it's terrible that some teachers have that attitude - it just makes studying a subject unbearable when your teacher has no faith in you. But they will be probably be treating everybody like that so don't get caught up emotionally - don't let the negative messages the professor transmits to you worsen the way you feel about the subject. I think you should remain positive - you were accepted onto the course for a reason. Don't let the experience lowerr your self-esteem.

    Your options, well...you can obviously either find the strength to try to swap courses to somewhere more liberal and language-focused because that's what you believe in and to hell with your parents- or put up with it for another year, channel all your efforts into the literature, all the while not forgetting the language aspect, and come out with a good degree, feeling like you have achieved something. Both are in my opinion wishable.

    Btw I was considering making an Oxbridge application to study MFL for next year; I really regret my course choice, meant to be studying Chem - not at Oxbridge - this year...it was my back-up option - I'm a medicine reject. Yeah, I'm confused!
    yeah absolutely don't don't don't do mml at cambridge! spread the word to as many people as possible- the only bit of it which is anything to do with learning a language is if you pick 1 language as a beginner...and in the first year apparently you learn a lot... and there is also the year abroad... but both of these things you could do better and cheaper on your own!

    and I've heard horrendous things about the workload for natscis at cambridge- so I'm not envious of them! seems to me if you have a science degree you have no reason to get it at oxbridge - people are right that a lot of arts degrees might not get you the best employment prospects but science is science and will be respected!

    sorry to hear you're a medicine reject- my brother applied for medicine this past year and it didn't go very well and now he's doing history at manchester this year and really looking forward to it- sounds like it was a tough year for everybody this year! bloody tories
    • 21 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hennessybubbles)
    sorry- no they have absolutely no problem with me changing course- its just my senior tutor who has refused permission- and I don't suppose there is anyway around him?
    You need to go to CUSU and get them to mediate with your college on your behalf. It is a very unfair aspect about Cambridge that what welfare people get varies according to which college they're in and who the Senior Tutor is. But that is how it is. The only thing you can do is get the student union to put pressure on your college for you. If the new department is willing to take you, then there should be no problem. You just need to persevere and make a very loud noise about it so that they eventually give in to your demand.

    You should also remember - as your MML friends may have told you - that most MML students find the first two years difficult and unpleasant, because they are forced to balance grammar with literature and very few people are good at both sides and enjoy both. Conversely the final year allows you to specialise in the aspect of MML that suits you best. So if it turns out that you can't change subject after all of this, then put things into perspective. You are over the worst now that you've done two years. It is highly likely that your third year will be MUCH better than the first two because you'll be able to specialise. That is what virtually every other MML student I've met has said. Also you're about to have a big break through going abroad, aren't you? If you've managed to get onto Erasmus or something similar you can get a bit of a change by studying different things for a year.

    I found the workload too much as well, but you're two thirds of the way there and you're bound to do better in your final year.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: August 8, 2011
New on TSR
Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.