I'm feeling really down. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't have any friends, I feel like whoever I am with is judging me, and is being polite. I think when I leave conversations, the people I am with talk about me and say things like 'Why do they always have to hang around with us?' 'They are so strange'. I have been contemplating running away on my gap year. Saying I am going travelling, but just end up living on my own where no one knows me. I just feel upset, and I am angry at certain things. I am too quiet to voice my own opinion though. I am seen as the one who people go to when they want something done, and they know I won't say no, because I am weak and don't like to cause a fuss. I agree to everything people say, even if i disagree. I started self harming recently, my mind keeps on making me feel like ****. I run over scenes in my head and realise what I said made me look like such an idiot, so I then just hurt myself to distract myself.
I agree with the first poster, you do need to share these feelings with your GP who can give you/point you in the direction of proper help and advice.
But I will say this to you;
You're not the first person to feel like that
You're not the first person to self harm
You're not the first person who's turned to the internet before a doctor
Please just realise that these sort of things can worsen very quickly without correct guidance. Nothing is so broken that it cannot be fixed, all problems have a solution and every emotion has a cause. Your sad/angry emotions have a cause and there will be a cause for emotions of the opposite nature at some point in time, hopefully soon.
Feel free to PM me if you want to rant/talk/anything.