[Anonymous]

I went out with this guy for a while, and I got very into him. he was my first boyfriend. we split up because he started taking me for granted, and i was very insecure, and we weren't getting on like we used to.
Always had quite a connection with him, but hadn't fancied him straight from the started. we have kept in contact since the split, and I like feeling single, even though I missed him.

There is this other guy who I have liked for a few years. He had expressed interest me a while back to someone else, and they told me. But due to exams etc we didn't really see each other much after that. But I've always thought about him, and if i see him about, I'd get embarrassed, flushed, and nervous. Things I had never gotten with my first boyfriend. Recently i bumped into him on a night out, and we got talking and flirting, and my heart was beating so fast, he made me so nervous. i'm really attracted to him.

but then my ex boyfriend and i had gotten more flirtatious in our texts at the same time period as meeting this other guy again. Even though i didn't get that excitement and immediate attraction when i first met the ex, I had got very attached to him, and still sort of yearn for him. we're very close. I started finding him attractive when i got to know him more. we met up once to see how things went, before i bumped into the other guy, and now has got his hopes up about getting back together despite me saying how uncertain I am about relationships now, and like being single. his family and friends saw us, and now assume we're back together which makes it harder because i wanted to take things slow. then again, he did make me happy and safe (before taking me for granted etc) and is making a lot more effort now. But I can't help but feel hesitant and keep thinking of this other guy.

advice?

[Squish4432]

Don't make any decisions and don't get back with him until you're sure that's what you want. If you get back with the ex and change your mind you'll probably lose your chance with the new guy and upset your ex.

[Réglisse]

Write out a list of all the things you liked about your ex boyfriend, and then all the things you didn't. Weigh up the pros and the cons. It sounds though like you have more attraction to this new guy though, and an ex is an ex for a reason.