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Something wrong with singles?

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    Yeah I do to an extent. But I know some women almost in their middle ages, and they haven't settled down, but this is because they're painfully shy, lack social skills or have really not put themselves out there for a relationship. It's sad though, a lot of people seem to view them as odd and the dreaded S word.
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    Come get it before someone else does ladies

    :sexface:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I do to an extent. But I know some women almost in their middle ages, and they haven't settled down, but this is because they're painfully shy, lack social skills or have really not put themselves out there for a relationship. It's sad though, a lot of people seem to view them as odd and the dreaded S word.
    What the hell is "the dreaded S word"?
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    (Original post by MathematicsKiller)
    What the hell is "the dreaded S word"?
    Spinster, I believe.
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    (Original post by Artvandelay)
    I'm not talking about single people in general, but over a certain age. Do you think that when you get to a certain age group, that to an extent, the "best ones are taken"?
    I was discussing this with a friend who had an interesting point of view. Where I'm from (and in general in bigger cities) there is quite a bit of women, and a few men, whom are single in their 30s. A lot of the women are attractive enough, and have good jobs. I don't know what their reasons for being single are, but I assume they haven't met anyone they see fit for marrying yet. My friend then said she was tired of that nonsense and that if those women never found anyone "worthy of them", it's because they have an unrealistic picture of what they deserve. They simply aren't good enough for a man who ticks all their boxes (men there are painfully few of, I might add). She also said that 90% of the time when you find a man in late thirties/40 who tick all the boxes, he will be divorced. If he is single and have been for such a long time, he is not the kind to settle down and is basically pushing it ahead of himself as long as he can. There are exceptions, but most of the time, a great guy with options who wants a family will find someone during his studies or while working.

    And I agree with this to an extent. After all, there is a natural selection out there, where some people get snapped up. My mum told me "you cannot say such a thing out loud", but isn't that the truth? Keep in mind: I AM not talking about women who don't want to get married or have children, I am talking about those who happen to be 37 and ideally would want to settle down, but now find time running out. I know plenty who are "just having fun", but would prefer to enter something more serious with their hookups (getting emotionally involved). If a woman is dating many men and nobody wants anything serious with her, isn't that a sign? I know it sounds mean and all that and I'm not looking to offend anyone (singel myself ), but I know several women in this situation, and most of the time it seems they actually have either an unrealistic picture of what they deserve or they simply aren't "marriage material" for most men. Do you agree?
    and with that notion, i bring you.............

    "national singles day"

    its good to be single, its cool to be single

    February 13th every year

    (if you didnt watch apprentice you wont get it, season 5 i think)
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    There's nothing wrong with singles, it's just that double beds are so much more comfortable.
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    (Original post by DarkSenrine)
    There's nothing wrong with singles, it's just that double beds are so much more comfortable.
    Double beds on your own have so much more space though!!
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    Being 37 and single is my worst nightmare
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    (Original post by Kim_xx)
    Being 37 and single is my worst nightmare
    Why?

    Seriously I cannot understand adults over the age of 18 who are in this "rush" to get hooked up and have kids around the time they are in their late twenties or early thirties.

    Is that all you ****ing care about? Putting down a job, having "fun" in the night, and being in a long term relationship with someone as soon as you hit the early thirties stream?

    I don't want to be a part of that thanks.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why?

    Seriously I cannot understand adults over the age of 18 who are in this "rush" to get hooked up and have kids around the time they are in their late twenties or early thirties.

    Is that all you ****ing care about? Putting down a job, having "fun" in the night, and being in a long term relationship with someone as soon as you hit the early thirties stream?

    I don't want to be a part of that thanks.
    Well everybody wants different things in life. Having a job, friends and family is important to me Why what do you want to be part of?
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    (Original post by Kim_xx)
    Well everybody wants different things in life. Having a job, friends and family is important to me Why what do you want to be part of?
    That's fine. I have no problem with that.

    The problems I have are:
    a) What is the reason so many people are chasing that?
    b) Why do people EXPECT other people to live in the same way?

    I just want to live my life and fulfil my ambitions - in vague terms.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why?

    Seriously I cannot understand adults over the age of 18 who are in this "rush" to get hooked up and have kids around the time they are in their late twenties or early thirties.

    Is that all you ****ing care about? Putting down a job, having "fun" in the night, and being in a long term relationship with someone as soon as you hit the early thirties stream?

    I don't want to be a part of that thanks.
    Well I don't expect others to want the same thing. Humans are created to procreate so the majority of the population usually want children, which is why it is "the norm". But of course nobody has the right to try and lecture you. Personally I think it is great when someone recognize what they are cut out (or not cut out for) for and follow it. I don't think a man whom has never been monogamous and honestly isn't prepared to spend his life with one woman should do so just because "he's supposed to". No good can come of that. Problem is many enter a marriage in order to have children, yet are not actually prepared to spend their life with one person only.

    I want a husband and I want children - I can pretty much say I have that maternal gene. I am not obsessed with it and I consider myself way too young. But fact is things take time and women don't stay fertile too long. I want to be able to be engaged, stay married a while before children, have more than one child, and some years between each of them. And I don't want to be an old mum, go on IVF and those treatments, or put my child in risk of health issues. So reality is - I need to start looking for someone during 20s. You cannot plan how your life will turn out, but you can decide if you look for men for flings or something serious after a certain age, which is quite important. Being 35+ and single is a nightmare for me too, as I'd need to have children right away, which scares men off. I think if that was the case, I'd give up. I wouldn't have the time to meet, get to know someone, take some time before we'd consider children, and then it'd most likely be too late fertility-wise.
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    (Original post by Artvandelay)
    Well I don't expect others to want the same thing. Humans are created to procreate so the majority of the population usually want children, which is why it is "the norm". But of course nobody has the right to try and lecture you. Personally I think it is great when someone recognize what they are cut out (or not cut out for) for and follow it. I don't think a man whom has never been monogamous and honestly isn't prepared to spend his life with one woman should do so just because "he's supposed to". No good can come of that. Problem is many enter a marriage in order to have children, yet are not actually prepared to spend their life with one person only.

    I want a husband and I want children - I can pretty much say I have that maternal gene. I am not obsessed with it and I consider myself way too young. But fact is things take time and women don't stay fertile too long. I want to be able to be engaged, stay married a while before children, have more than one child, and some years between each of them. And I don't want to be an old mum, go on IVF and those treatments, or put my child in risk of health issues. So reality is - I need to start looking for someone during 20s. You cannot plan how your life will turn out, but you can decide if you look for men for flings or something serious after a certain age, which is quite important. Being 35+ and single is a nightmare for me too, as I'd need to have children right away, which scares men off. I think if that was the case, I'd give up. I wouldn't have the time to meet, get to know someone, take some time before we'd consider children, and then it'd most likely be too late fertility-wise.
    The problem with this "rush" to get married is that, yeah, you're bounded by time restraints.

    Why happens if you don't find a man you want to have children with? It's perfectly possible.

    So you could have this dream of the perfect family when in fact you have no husband and have no children. What would you do with your life if that happens?
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    No. Not all women want to get married and make babies anyway.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The problem with this "rush" to get married is that, yeah, you're bounded by time restraints.

    Why happens if you don't find a man you want to have children with? It's perfectly possible.

    So you could have this dream of the perfect family when in fact you have no husband and have no children. What would you do with your life if that happens?
    Of course every woman wonders that! And if you say you'd feel lost, you sound as if you are dependent on a man. And in today's feminist age, that is so illegal. Yes I am my own person, with my own career, my own interests and now that I am 21 I am perfectly happy on my own. But I recognize I won't always feel that way, even if I'll be hugely successful and keep all my friends. I want a person who's a best friend and a lover. The sexual side alone: I need regular sex, and in the long term I wouldn't want a sleep around. It would most likely be extra-marital sex for the men anyway, as the "good ones" have settled down.

    Personally, I think it will work out. Problem is a lot of women have an unrealistic view of what to expect. A good-looking, 6 feet investment banker from family money with a good body, plenty of interests, whom are good friends with your friends and changes diapers. Problem with women who stay too long with casual partners, is that you can often get a so-called "alpha male" for sex, but not for marriage. Which means that if you stick around sleeping with those guys, you get a deluded view that "this is what you deserve" and you never find a guy who has those things AND want to be with you.

    My parents are still together, but they are more best friends and a "team" than they are lovers. Now I'd need more passion than that, but I am realistic about the fact that those infatuating feelings only last 4 years in any couple and that it's the other stuff which keeps you together. And I do get plenty of attention from men, on both a physical level and a personal one. I've written guys off as "boring" or "without sex appeal" but now that I am really growing up, those are the guys I consider for something serious. I am actually quite confident that it'll work out. And you have to believe for it to happen
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    (Original post by Kim_xx)
    Being 37 and single is my worst nightmare

    Yeah, I think I'll be slicing my wrist and going for a surf in shark ally if I'm single at 40.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why?

    Seriously I cannot understand adults over the age of 18 who are in this "rush" to get hooked up and have kids around the time they are in their late twenties or early thirties.

    Is that all you ****ing care about? Putting down a job, having "fun" in the night, and being in a long term relationship with someone as soon as you hit the early thirties stream?

    I don't want to be a part of that thanks.
    I think you're lying. I think you do want to be part of it, but you fear you won't be. So you convinced yourself you don't want it.
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    (Original post by Artvandelay)
    Of course every woman wonders that! And if you say you'd feel lost, you sound as if you are dependent on a man. And in today's feminist age, that is so illegal. Yes I am my own person, with my own career, my own interests and now that I am 21 I am perfectly happy on my own. But I recognize I won't always feel that way, even if I'll be hugely successful and keep all my friends. I want a person who's a best friend and a lover. The sexual side alone: I need regular sex, and in the long term I wouldn't want a sleep around. It would most likely be extra-marital sex for the men anyway, as the "good ones" have settled down.

    Personally, I think it will work out. Problem is a lot of women have an unrealistic view of what to expect. A good-looking, 6 feet investment banker from family money with a good body, plenty of interests, whom are good friends with your friends and changes diapers. Problem with women who stay too long with casual partners, is that you can often get a so-called "alpha male" for sex, but not for marriage. Which means that if you stick around sleeping with those guys, you get a deluded view that "this is what you deserve" and you never find a guy who has those things AND want to be with you.

    My parents are still together, but they are more best friends and a "team" than they are lovers. Now I'd need more passion than that, but I am realistic about the fact that those infatuating feelings only last 4 years in any couple and that it's the other stuff which keeps you together. And I do get plenty of attention from men, on both a physical level and a personal one. I've written guys off as "boring" or "without sex appeal" but now that I am really growing up, those are the guys I consider for something serious. I am actually quite confident that it'll work out. And you have to believe for it to happen
    But what if it doesn't happen, and it's perfectly possible?

    If you refuse to even acknowledge this possibility - say if actually does happen, it will hit you hard.

    And that is another thing I hate - believing in your own little fairy land world where everything will be perfect. Look, the divorce rate is shockingly high.

    It's not going to be perfect, it might not even be satisfactory.

    So, once again, what would you do?
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    (Original post by bestofyou)
    I think you're lying. I think you do want to be part of it, but you fear you won't be. So you convinced yourself you don't want it.
    Err, no, I really don't?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why?

    Seriously I cannot understand adults over the age of 18 who are in this "rush" to get hooked up and have kids around the time they are in their late twenties or early thirties.

    Is that all you ****ing care about? Putting down a job, having "fun" in the night, and being in a long term relationship with someone as soon as you hit the early thirties stream?

    I don't want to be a part of that thanks.
    Anyone who wants children would find being single at 37 a nightmare.

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Updated: August 7, 2011
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