[Anonymous]

I became friends with a guy, we flirted a lot, had loads I common and even fancy each other. He said he doesn't want a relationship right now as he has trust issues and would be happy to get to know me better. He said he jumped into his last relationship and regretted it as he didn't know her and she ended up being a fraudster and she controlled his life. Is this his way of saying nicely he isn't interested?

[marcusfox]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I became friends with a guy, we flirted a lot, had loads I common and even fancy each other. He said he doesn't want a relationship right now as he has trust issues and would be happy to get to know me better. He said he jumped into his last relationship and regretted it as he didn't know her and she ended up being a fraudster and she controlled his life. Is this his way of saying nicely he isn't interested?

He's just not that into you, but is hoping that occasional casual sex is still on the table.

[DH-Biker]

No, he just doesn't want to jump into it for fear of screwing it up as his last relationship showed. Its not like he's lost any interest, he's just going by past experiences.

As he said, he wants to get to know you better. That's a pretty solid sign that he hasn't lost interest.

[Climbontoyourseahorse]

Whatever his reason is for not pursuing a relationship with you - be it that he's just not that into you, he genuinely has trust issues etc - leave well be. If it's that he's not that keen, don't take it to heart. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who reckon you're worth it and won't mess you about. If it's trust issues, and stuff does sort of materialise between you, then you don't want to swim in his sea of emotional turmoil because when it goes tits up you'll wrongly think it's an inadequacy on your part.

Hmm... I wonder what 'getting to know you better' entails? Tread carefully. Even if he just wants to get to know you better as a friend with no funny business thrown into the mix, wouldn't it irk you that you have feelings for him and he supposedly reciprocates, yet nothing will ever happen? Step back and look at your 'friendship' - you'd be surprised at how much it is probably based upon sexual feelings. Is there actually any substance to it? Maybe it's better to distance yourself a bit.

[Doutzie]

Tread carefully. When a guy says that it generally means he doesn't see you as long-term material but wouldn't actually mind getting his member wet a few times. Pump and dump I believe it is called.

[ktlaurenroe]

Just carry on talking like you do and see what happens then. Maybe suggest having a casual relationship? Like just go on a few dates, nothing official, and see what happens. He could be telling the truth (hopefully) but he might just be keeping you as an option for sex (to put it bluntly). It wouldn't be the first time that happened, I had someone do the exact same to me a while back.

[Lil Piranha]

Yep, it's one of those "I won't date you but I'll sleep with you" lines.

[digitalfever]

Here are the facts:
1. He doesn’t want a relationship with you
2. He still wants to get to know you

I say if you don’t want a relationship with him then maintain contact and be friends, or hook up buddies or whatever. But if you want a relationship with someone cut your losses and move on