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Am i being unreasonable?

Hi guys, been going out with my girlfriend for 2 months now.

we get on great and are pretty serious about each other, i know she would never cheat on me or anything but last night she told me her friend came back from australia and he wants to get a catch up with her, naturally i asked what friend she told me (name) i said didnt you used to go out with him? she was like it wasnt anything serious.

she told me about him said he was a bit of a **** to her and he left the country without telling her and spent like 6 months or a year in australia or something didnt bother talking to her or anything while he was away and now that hes back he txts her for a "catch up".

of course i was pretty dry and clearly annoyed with her so she took it bad and is annoyed at me now, i never told her she couldnt go or i didnt want her to go but i made it clear she had to tell me when she was meeting up with him probly this friday or were finished (said this out of desperation foir her to tell me i suppose)

she was like ur doing ur own thing on friday im doing mine, but she said this through annoyance towards me because i already planned to go out for a friends birthday.

am i being unreasonable that i atleast want her to tell me shes with him ? im obviously upset shes meeting him with him at all and i dont want her to but im trying not to be demandind or anything.

what should i do? thanks alot any more info just ask
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 1
I would let her meet up with him without too much fuss. Tbh you seem as if you are overreacting a bit, saying all that stuff about how you'll be finished if she meets up without telling you, especially as she told you it wasn't anything serious.

Maybe you could ask her to tell you when she's meeting with him but it seems a bit dramatic to say what you said. It's understandable that she might not want to tell you if you're going to say things like that. Girls have a tendency to lash out if you push them about things and back them into a corner :P

However I understand it from your side of the argument as well, and I see why you want to know. Maybe just be less pushy about it and she'll be happy to tell you.

Hope this helps. Good luck :smile:
I don't think it's a big deal them meeting up for a catch up tbh. My husband is best mates with his ex gf.
Reply 3
true i may be over reacting but at the same time i know she would be annoyed if i was meeting up with somone i used to go out with, i doubt she would be very happy about that at the same time.

i dont think it was serious but i know she went out with him for a while, maybe a month or two not steady but they met up alot.

then all this time of him being away and not contacting her hes back and suddenly wants a catch up, personally i think hes trying to get back in with her, she wouldnt notice things like that.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by anonforme
Hi guys, been going out with my girlfriend for 2 months now.

we get on great and are pretty serious about each other, i know she would never cheat on me or anything but last night she told me her friend came back from australia and he wants to get a catch up with her, naturally i asked what friend she told me (name) i said didnt you used to go out with him? she was like it wasnt anything serious.

she told me about him said he was a bit of a **** to her and he left the country without telling her and spent like 6 months or a year in australia or something didnt bother talking to her or anything while he was away and now that hes back he txts her for a "catch up".

of course i was pretty dry and clearly annoyed with her so she took it bad and is annoyed at me now, i never told her she couldnt go or i didnt want her to go but i made it clear she had to tell me when she was meeting up with him probly this friday or were finished (said this out of desperation foir her to tell me i suppose)

she was like ur doing ur own thing on friday im doing mine, but she said this through annoyance towards me because i already planned to go out for a friends birthday.

am i being unreasonable that i atleast want her to tell me shes with him ? im obviously upset shes meeting him with him at all and i dont want her to but im trying not to be demandind or anything.

what should i do? thanks alot any more info just ask



Unreasonable is the wrong word. You're possibly being a little anxious about your girlfriend. My advice would be to let her go and be supportive. If you try to put too many limits on her, she will just go against you anyway leading to a toxic relationship. Obviously be there for her if it all goes horribly wrong, but you need to let her have her own space. After all, you are her boyfriend and she wants to be with you. With that fact in mind, there is nothing for you to worry about.
I understand where you are coming from but I do agree that you're overreacting a little bit. However, it is understandable if it's out of worry because he treated her how he did. Let her go and meet him (I know you're not trying to stop her) but explain to her it's because you care about her and not because you're trying to be demanding. He might be trying to get back with her but he also might not. If he makes a pass at her then she's going to realise but you have to leave that up to her to figure out.
Don't tress about the situation too much and just show your girlfriend that you're there for her.
Reply 6
cheers guys ill work it out some how thanks for the replies
Original post by anonforme


she told me about him said he was a bit of a **** to her and he left the country without telling her and spent like 6 months or a year in australia or something didnt bother talking to her or anything while he was away and now that hes back he txts her for a "catch up".



Read this to yourself again and again.

And again.

Then think about what a guy does when he is back in another country with no willing female to have sex with.

He calls the ones who knows as a means of fishing and your GF has been hooked. Not lined in yet so I suggest warning your Gf that if anything does go down, it is her fault and she will be dust in your eyes should she go through with it.

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