Would you cheat ever?

Withhold judgement.

Cheating is awful, horrible - when it has happened and one partner finds out, the relationship is or should be over, no question. It damages trust in the partner totally; it feels like you aren't good enough as a person, physically or sexually - and it's extremely damaging to the person who has cheated.

BUT whilst that much is obvious, people dispute what cheating is and what sort of things are appropriate in different sorts of relationships.

What is cheating? People have different standards and it can mean COMPLETELY different things. To some people flirting is cheating, sitting one another's lap - to others it's kissing, to others it's sex, to others it is emotional. To some it is a mixture of both.

What reasons are there for cheating?

- Bad behaviour in the relationship. People have different standards on that too. Some relationships have physical or emotional abuse -- some just aren't great relationships. Maybe one partner doesn't give oral in bed, maybe that partner has been rude and disrespectful to and or about the other, even to the point of humiliation.

- Fear of being alone. Like it or not, people find it difficult to leave relationships even if they know it is the right thing. You can say 'grow up and deal with it' but that doesn't address the deeply traumatic experience of breaking off a relationship and feeling alone, like you can't get anyone else. Getting another partner can make you feel desired and able to make the leap to breaking up with a partner.

- Not wanting to marry your partner. If you're 18-26 years old, you don't want to marry anytime soon, you want more sexual experience, you may be in love with your partner but certainly don't want to marry them; you inevitably see breaking up as the most likely possibility for the end to the relationship.

-No emotional cheating and no repeated relationship outside your own relationship with your partner; merely a one night stand sexual experience. To some people, they are not being dishonest about how they feel towards their partner, but they do crave other people, particularly being in a relationship for a long time or having limited other sexual experience. To this end, they view it as having greater sexual experience for the long term which will satiate them when they decide to settle down with the partner they want to marry.

-The other partner not finding out. Although some people are invariably wrong on this, if a one off occasion and one partner is careful, the other partner will never know and therefore their feelings will never be hurt.

Reply 1

VQG

Getting bored of ****ing the same person is another reason.

Reply 2

Currrrtisssss

Look but no touching for me. Flirting is pretty innocent with no objective or pursuit behind it.

I honestly don't think I could look a partner in the eyes and express my love if I'd have done something with another lass.

I also wouldn't want someone cheating on me (It's happened about 4 times now *Sigh*) so I treat as I wish to be treated. Pretty simple really.

No.

I wouldnt cheat, ever. Infact I've had the chance to cheat before.

I wouldnt think too much of flirting with others but kissing/having sex with another person is crossing the line and is what I class as cheating.

Reply 5

KingOfLove

cheating is just going to ruin something, so its better not to do it. even if its out of boredom or the "need" for company..

even if your partner doesnt find out, the fact you have to do something behind someones back means its wrong and u know its wrong, or else you would have no reason to hide it.

Reply 6

Domeface

The idea that having sex with someone else wouldn't be considered cheating is laughable. Ditto with flirting counting as cheating; if your partner accuses you of cheating because you were flirting with someone else, they clearly have serious issues. And no, I'd never cheat, under any circumstances, ever.

Reply 7

hashman90

if a absolute stunner threw herself on me I don't think i'd be able to say no..

Reply 8

InnerTemple

I would never cheat.

My ex always used to say that I was her "one and only" and if anyone was to cheat, it would be me... turns out she was wrong on that one. :angry:

Reply 9

username163729

I think a lot of the relationships that end up with a partner cheating are perhaps fundamentally flawed (although it's not always obvious) and they don't actually work together well without forcing it. At this age (18-24+), a lot of the time it's about wanting different things, one person might not have had many partners before and wants to be adventurous and go out with more people at some point in the near future, the other person might have had their share of partners and wants to settle down into long term relationships that have the prospect of marriage, it's all conflicting and isn't healthy.

Once involved in the relationship, even if they have these conflicting desires, the couple will try to make things work to the dominant person's desires but the other partner can either go along with it or leave the relationship. As most people would just go along with it, it's just leaving all these other desires just swirling around in the back of their head and they can't say anything about it without of course ending the relationship.

Some people act on their desires (even if subconsciously) whilst in the relationship early on and others later and some might not at all. Of course it's all highly dependent on exposure to other people and things like that, but give opportunities for someone that wants to cheat (in the back of their head) and they could cheat.

Imo, that's fine, it just shows that the couple wasn't built to stand the test of time, one person wasn't prepared to be as involved as the other person in the long term and it's not really healthy for relationships to keep going on just wishful thinking, a lot of people should think about that before they jump back into relationships with people that have cheated on them before...

Personally, i'm not going to say i'm never going to cheat, that's a completely unrealistic expectation of myself at this age and with the way my mind works (I don't want to be thinking about marriage and babies for a longgggggggg time), it's highly unfair if I feed a partner's opposing expectations from the relationship for any extended period of time!

Reply 10

QwentyJ

It is actually fairly easy to keep your dick in your pants. If you're thinking about cheating, you shouldn't be in the relationship. Simple as.

Never.

i've recently realised how easy it is to cheat. how temptation can get the better of you. i've been caught up in the moment but have stopped myself in time.

i have never cheated and never plan to. i don't condone it.

but understand how easily it can come about.