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I would not listen to any of the qualitative statements in this thread, such as:
The first time is special
Wait till you meet someone nice
Sex is a luminous gift and we should not degrade it

Statements such as those are normative, irrational and are just the remaining religious vestiges of society's attitude towards sex. If people want to advice you, they should actually use statements that mean something.

Sex is not that special, it is a base indulgence that feels good, that many animals take part in; such as ourselves, humans. It feels great, but it is just mating and nothing more. The following reasons those simple opinions were formed, to stop children being conceived out of a stable family, to stop rape, to reduce the spread of STDs and to encourage monogamy (as people get especially possessive in relationships).

What you should do?
Take into account:

How much you want to have sex and how much pleasure and reassurance you think you will gain from being “experienced”

The cost of this escort,this might be expensive but a few nights clubbing to try and impress a girl can cost much more

Take into account that the STD risk is high, bacterial, viral and pubic lice. I have read many reports on escorts and STDs e.t.c

Also take into account your doubts and other society's reaction to your action (which I believe will mostly be negative).
Although a somewhat irrational reaction, I am sure you will feel bad about your deviant behaviour. This reaction cannot be helped, rational thinking will do very little to overcome the social stigma.
Also take into account your friends will goad you incessantly. If you try to keep it a secret it may come out, and if it does, you will have a real problem ever getting a girlfriend.

My evaluation: do not do it. I believe your doubt, is indicative of the fact, that you would not be happy with the social stigma and the attached risks of this action (the risk of your unknown reaction after the event is too high, many people actually commit suicide) . But still attempt to quantify, the positives against the negatives for yourself, only you can do this as it varies from person to peron.

My own actions: I would not; I am abstaining (I will not go into my reasons for this. But I will say, the reason is not religious and is just based on personal philosophy). I also do not like to associate with such pathetic life forms (normative statement and a generalisation, but this is not important so needs no clarification).
^^ I'm sure there's a good point in there somewhere, but it just seems like a load of waffle!

At first you say...

I would not listen to any of the qualitative statements in this thread, such as:
The first time is special
Wait till you meet someone nice
Sex is a luminous gift and we should not degrade it

Statements such as those are normative, irrational and are just the remaining religious vestiges of society's attitude towards sex. If people want to advice you, they should actually use statements that mean something.


Well I think that those statements do mean something. They obviously do as many people believe in them!!!

You say sex is not that special, but that is purely your own opinion. You're abstinent right? But then you go on to explain that you refrain from sex due to personal philosophy! That makes it seem that you are waiting for the right person, totally contradicting your first statement!

I've probably read that completely wrong but there was so much waffle, and at the end it seems as if you are contradicting yourself.

My evaluation: that post was pointless.
lil_lee
^^ I'm sure there's a good point in there somewhere, but it just seems like a load of waffle!

At first you say...

I would not listen to any of the qualitative statements in this thread, such as:
The first time is special
Wait till you meet someone nice
Sex is a luminous gift and we should not degrade it

Statements such as those are normative, irrational and are just the remaining religious vestiges of society's attitude towards sex. If people want to advice you, they should actually use statements that mean something.


Well I think that those statements do mean something. They obviously do as many people believe in them!!!

You say sex is not that special, but that is purely your own opinion. You're abstinent right? But then you go on to explain that you refrain from sex due to personal philosophy! That makes it seem that you are waiting for the right person, totally contradicting your first statement!

I've probably read that completely wrong but there was so much waffle, and at the end it seems as if you are contradicting yourself.

My evaluation: that post was pointless.


I am not abstaining because I am waiting, I am abstaining because I think it is a waste of time and a distraction, more like Celibacy. I am choosing to focus on other things.

By "Sex is not that special" I am just stating, it is not luminous, it is not mystic, it is not a miracle, it is just normal biology. It is just a base act that is extremely pleasurable in order to proliferate the spcies. The importanace and views attribited to sex are extremely irrational and they should attemt to explain the basis of their views in order to help this individual form his own.

Belief itself, does not justify something unless it can rationalised and proven. All that special person stuff s far too subjective. To clarify (sorry for not doing it before), I choose to abstain, because I believe sex would be a distraction from my other interests, but I do not tell others to as I do. As their interests may differ and they may view sex as more important than I see it. I have told this individual to quantify the issue himself and have just added some advice and my own opinion to help him somewhat.

PS - I know this is not very clear, but i hope it helps in explaining what I wrote :smile:
Reply 43
Sounds sensible.
Dont pay too much and use a reliable escort agency.
Have fun.
Reply 44
Sex is different for everyone, it is true that statements such as 'Sex should mean something etc' are just opinions - if that was true for everyone then people wouldn't have casual sex.

However, as sex is about as close to a person as you can possibly get it is something that should be given some thought. Most people (and i say most, not all) will feel very different after their first time, because they've gone to a place they've never been before and shared it with someone else. And chances are you'll remember it for a very long time if not forever.

Also to consider is that when you enter into a relationship that's quite serious and want to talk about your past experiences with your partner you have to consider not what they'd think about you being with a prostitute but how you'd feel telling them. And then if you didn't tell them if you'd feel guilty about it.

Personally, I wouldn't do it, but it's your choice.
Reply 45
ms2006
I'm sure you're all going to think I'm a sad git, but here goes...

I'm 18 and have never had sex before, but would like to. I've been looking for an escort to have sex with and have found one who looks nice and sounds nice on the phone. The thing is, as much as I really want to experience my first time with someone experienced, I'm now having second thoughts.

Any advise please?



let me start by laughing. Sex really isn't that good as everyone leds you to think. If you have money to waste on a hooker then you'll want it to be worth it. escorts are people that do things that you couldn't get your girl friend to do or too ashamed to ask for. Let me note, your first time is crap compared to all your other times. So it's not a big deal unless it's with someone who you really care about.

If you really are in need for it then PM. I have a nice friend who is also a virgin and is quite desperate.
Reply 46
~Raven~
And chances are you'll remember it for a very long time if not forever.


Actually, no.
However, I do remember some of the people I did ultra-kinky stuff with. :biggrin:
Reply 47
Anonymous
Actually, no.
After you have had sex with a few hundred people, it is basically impossible to remember the first person or even the tenth person. I used to count, but once I passed one hundred partners, I stopped bothering.

However, I do remember some of the people I did ultra-kinky stuff with. :biggrin:


Not everyone is a promiscuous slut, though.
Anonymous
Not everyone is a promiscuous slut, though.


I think that I detect envy :smile:
What a slag whoever wrote they've had over 100 partners!!!

--------------

Envy over a slapper? (male or female, as they felt they had to post anonymously) I don't think so. They've probably got more STD's than a GUM clinic!!!
Reply 50
Anonymous
I used to count, but once I passed one hundred partners, I stopped bothering.

Whatever you say, champ.
Reply 51
Anonymous
Not everyone is a promiscuous slut, though.


I think I detect envy :smile:
So you're a man whore then?

Nice.
It surely isn't right for someone of a simliar age as me to do it. Surely?
just as many people here, i say no.

for a simple reason: at 18 most people are still inmature and take seriously wrong desicions (such as me for example). I wont go over all the theory but trust me, just let it come in a near future, and in 3 or 4 years time you'll think: "wooa, how could i be so stupid to try n do that?"

maybe when u get to your 70's and 80's ill give you some reasons to do it, but now's not the right time
Reply 55
AnonGuy2005
lol, when I was your age I'm fairly sure I had similar thoughts about prostitutes etc. (since I was still a virgin).

I didn't however, as they were just silly thoughts, besides trust me once you've lost it you can never get it back.

And "sex" isn't that big a deal anyway, you'll realise that one day.


That is very true, it really is not a big deal for me anymore, its pointless pondering the subject because it just leads to depression. I am sure a trip the brothel will make me feel much worse in the long run.
Cadre_Of_Storms
most peoples first times are terrible and not what they expected. (i was drunk, my brother hated it, my mate got hurt)


Sorry, I know the situation's very serious and this is going to look incredibly immature on my part, but LOL - sounds like your first time was VERY odd mate! (also, isn't that kinda illegal?) lol.

:p: - I had to, I'm sorry.

/sarcasm & immaturity.

:p:
Reply 57
I doubt I'd ever pay for sex.
Anonymous
Sounds sensible.
Dont pay too much and use a reliable escort agency.
Have fun.


Yes that is true, those are the positives. Have fun, sex is pleasurable, a good escort will have fantastic sex with you; she wants you to come back and pay again, she will also be "kinky" and if you find the pay the right price, I assume she will be physically beautiful. When it comes to having sex the nest time you should be a bit more "advanced". I am also led to believe you pay by the hour, you should be able to "do it" more than once in that time.

But remember take into account the negatives:

STDs

other peoples reactions to this action and how you think their opinion will affect you

how you will deal with the question "how was your first time"

If you want sex so much, why are you not getting it? I will take a shot in the dark, are there any self esteem issues? If you do have self esteem issues, you should really think about this, as many poeple have said do not rush into anything, it may make things worse.

Evaluate the above and you should come to your own conclusion.





PS In response to some of the comments. As for sex being the closest you can come to somebody, in a physical sense this is true. However this is not true in the emotional sense; sexual partners still break up e.t.c. This emotional partnership is where people become the closest, when they want to spend their lives together and their relationship is so important they cannot spend time apart and understand each other fully etc. For some people this physical act is inextricably linked to their emotional state of “love” and is something to be guarded. This attitude towards sex is subjective, in that it differs between people, for you it seems sex is just sex and not something that is to be emotionally treasured/guarded; all you want to do is find out how good it feels and to be sure you get some experience under the belt.
Reply 59
I think I heard somewhere, probably a rap song....

"you don't pay a ho to have sex with you...you pay her to leave"...fair enough point!

Keep that in mind and go for it!