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Can we get some sort of nerdy maths/science joke thread going?

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Original post by Jk.d
Q: Can you think of an anagram of "Banach-Tarski"?
A: "Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski"

(Hint)


I'm impressed I remembered this from one of my maths classes
/ :rofl:
Original post by goodfellow
I don't like chloroethylene and I don't like glycol ether.


lol, you got this from the big bang theory? :biggrin:
Original post by RobGray
A tachyon asks for a drink, then walks into a bar.


Is it something that goes backwards in time? :confused:
someone once said this in chem when doing iron extraction:
"you're such a calcium silicate!"
Wanna hear a trig joke ?
Why ?
Cos.
Reply 65
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why_
2












what do you call a sheep in a river...

Lamb-in-a-flow
Reply 67
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lalala_
PARTICLE PHYSICS GIVES ME A HADRON


Optimists see the glass as half full. Pessimists see the glass as half empty. Chemists see the glass as half in liquid state, half in gaseous state.

Your mum is sooo ugly.. even Fluorine wont bind to her

And the classic one at my school :L :


A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
Original post by lukas1051


A mathematician and a physicist both agree to partake in a psychological experiment. They find themselves on one side of a room, and on the opposite side is a beautiful naked woman. They are told that every minute they are allowed to move half the remaining distance to the woman. "It's not possible!" says the mathematician and walks out of the room. The physicist however stays behind. The mathematician says to him "You're wasting your time, you'll never reach her". "No" says the physicist "but I'll get close enough for practical purposes".


But you can never touch her :tongue:
Unless you measure the distance from the centres
Reply 69
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lalala_
Original post by Harley
i dont get it :frown:


same wtf
Reply 70
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googlegel
7
What do nuclear scientists have for dinner?

Fish and chips!
Original post by blacklistmember
But you can never touch her :tongue:
Unless you measure the distance from the centres


I can't remember exactly how the joke is worded... but I'm sure you get the idea :tongue:
Original post by lalala_
PARTICLE PHYSICS GIVES ME A HADRON

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTymy-wc0YQ&feature=related

The Big bang theory-Sheldon gets drunk to give a speech
This has a lot of jokes :biggrin:, Starts at about 2:00
Reply 73
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RobGray
Original post by blacklistmember
Is it something that goes backwards in time? :confused:


It's a hypothetical subatomic particle that moves faster than the speed of light.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tachyon
Original post by lukas1051
I can't remember exactly how the joke is worded... but I'm sure you get the idea :tongue:


I meant there will be a 'practical purpose' only if you can touch her :colondollar:
Reply 75
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tehforum
20
Original post by aspirinpharmacist
Heisenburg gets pulled over by a policeman one day whilst driving. The policeman says "Excuse me, do you know how fast you were going?"

"No." Heisenburg replies. "But I know exactly where I was."

Schroedinger also gets pulled over by a policeman who asks if he can look inside the boot of his car. Inside he finds a box, and opens it. He asks "Sir, did you know there was a dead cat in the boot of your car?"

Schroedinger says "Well, I do now."

And....

There's this girl I know that loves oxidising electrons but every time she does she feels reduced. :cool:

This is pretty much all we do in my Chemistry lessons, swap nerd jokes that we've heard. :lol:


Nice pun on your username.

Was it intentional?
An electron and a proton walks into a bar. The proton says, "your round", the electron then says, "are you sure", then the proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive"
Reply 77
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lalala_
Original post by blacklistmember
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTymy-wc0YQ&feature=related

The Big bang theory-Sheldon gets drunk to give a speech
This has a lot of jokes :biggrin:, Starts at about 2:00


haha legend!!
Reply 78
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Axtrate
Original post by jumpthroughtime
I'll start;
Are you Pascal's Triangle? Because you've got my binomial expanding.

If I was an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I can unzip your genes.

Maths puns are the first sine of madness.

-∞<x<∞
Keeping it real.

What do scientists call a benzene ring with all the carbon atoms replaced with iron atoms?
A ferrous wheel.


This, is my new pickup line.
(edited 12 years ago)
Pretty well known one:

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer enter a mathematics contest, the first task of which is to prove that all odd number are prime. The mathematician has an elegant argument: `1's a prime, 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime. Therefore, by mathematical induction, all odd numbers are prime. It's the physicist's turn: `1's a prime, 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 11's a prime, 13's a prime, so, to within experimental error, all odd numbers are prime.' The most straightforward proof is provided by the engineer: `1's a prime, 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 9's a prime, 11's a prime ...'.

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