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Attractive girl but with no friends

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Why don't you go out and talk to people. I think it's pretty arrogant to assume people aren't talking to you because you're good looking. Maybe you just aren't very fun to talk to. Stop being boring!


edit: oh, and just as an aside, not really on topic, but any girl I've ever met who says 'I just don't really get on with other girls' has always either been super bitchy to other girls, or just completely ignored new girls in any social situation but pounced on new boys.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 61
I think having a few good friends is better then being popular with lots of people, if you do want to just get to know some people then why not get to know people from here? or find people that are similar to yourself, if you want to talk or anything you can pm me, i dont mind being your friend :smile:
i find it better to have few friends but very good and close ones than having many you dont know that well.
Reply 63
Original post by Envy*
Where's yours then?


Read all the comments noob..
Reply 64
I can completely understand what you're saying. I was quiet at school and didn't really start wearing make-up or paying much attention to my appearance until I was about 17. I noticed that as soon as I changed my appearance - dyed my hair, got it cut into a nice style, learnt how to use make-up properly - then some of my old female friends just didn't want to know me anymore. Even now, girls don't usually like me or want me as a friend. The only girls who do are old childhood friends or girls who have no agenda and are comfortable with their own self image, so they don't feel jealous or threatened by others.

I think you just have to accept that this is what some girls are like. I was really upset when one of my old school friends told me to go away at a club because her ex boyfriend was there and she obviously thought I was going to go off with him - despite me being in a happy relationship at the time, and the fact that I have never 'stolen' anyone's boyfriend ever! Similarly, at uni, my girl flatmate (who I thought was a good friend at the time) stopped going out with me because she didn't like the male attention I sometimes got. She was quite a loud girl who was used to everyone looking at her and she didn't like it that I am friendly and attract people in clubs. It's just a shame - look for guys as friends, and girls who are happy with themselves and you might have more luck.
Reply 65
Original post by Paper Moon
You sound just like two of my closest friends! They are both incredibly beautiful, but they are fairly quiet (as you say, not shy, just quiet) and they seem to have many more friends who are boys than girls. I sometimes hear other girls make cruel, unfounded comments about them. I, of course, defend them, because they are wonderful people. But when I think back to when I did first encounter them, I thought that they both did not want to be friends with me, because they did not really talk to me. When I was in a situation in which I was alone with them, I realized what wonderful people they were. It was by chance that we became so close. I am sad now thinking about how close I came to never really getting to know them.


My best advice is talk to people if you want them to like you for who you are and not judge you based on appearances. Be the person to go up to others and talk. Ask questions about others, reach out. I know that it can be uncomfortable, but if you want to get to know others, and want them to know/like you, then sometimes you have to be the one to take the risk of the first move. People are obviously intimidated by you, so they might not talk to you first, but if you break the ice, even with just a nice comment or a joke, then it will open the flood gates.

If you like yourself as you are, quiet, then my advice is not to worry about what others think and let those who get to know you be lucky that they are befriending such a great person. :smile:


Thank you! :smile:


Original post by miranda-ae
Why don't you go out and talk to people. I think it's pretty arrogant to assume people aren't talking to you because you're good looking. Maybe you just aren't very fun to talk to. Stop being boring!


edit: oh, and just as an aside, not really on topic, but any girl I've ever met who says 'I just don't really get on with other girls' has always either been super bitchy to other girls, or just completely ignored new girls in any social situation but pounced on new boys.


Sigh.. I didn't say people aren't talking to me because I'm good looking. I said because I'm also quiet, people see me as stuck up or uninterested in them.


Original post by katy_j87
I can completely understand what you're saying. I was quiet at school and didn't really start wearing make-up or paying much attention to my appearance until I was about 17. I noticed that as soon as I changed my appearance - dyed my hair, got it cut into a nice style, learnt how to use make-up properly - then some of my old female friends just didn't want to know me anymore. Even now, girls don't usually like me or want me as a friend. The only girls who do are old childhood friends or girls who have no agenda and are comfortable with their own self image, so they don't feel jealous or threatened by others.

I think you just have to accept that this is what some girls are like. I was really upset when one of my old school friends told me to go away at a club because her ex boyfriend was there and she obviously thought I was going to go off with him - despite me being in a happy relationship at the time, and the fact that I have never 'stolen' anyone's boyfriend ever! Similarly, at uni, my girl flatmate (who I thought was a good friend at the time) stopped going out with me because she didn't like the male attention I sometimes got. She was quite a loud girl who was used to everyone looking at her and she didn't like it that I am friendly and attract people in clubs. It's just a shame - look for guys as friends, and girls who are happy with themselves and you might have more luck.


Thank you you sound just like me! Nice to hear from someone who gets what I'm saying. :smile:
I'm ure friend
Totally understand.
I'm quiet too, and I don't think i'm really good looking but I know i'm decent. When I get nervous, I play with my hair.. at school I was really shy and quiet so I would get nervous in certain situations and play with my hair. I also got quite a bit of attention from boys at school and the more popular girls hated me. They used to come up to me at school and just start calling me names for nothing, they would say I was stuck up and loved myself. I wasn't, but they probably thought this because I didn't talk much and the nervous hair thing.
When I got with my boyfriend other boys stopped paying attention to me, because they knew I had a boyfriend. Guess what? the bullying stopped too.
Those girls probably have no idea how much it bothered me, I would dread going to school and became even more quiet because I was trying not to draw any attention to myself.
I don't go out much and most of my friends have boyfriends, but I was really close with one girl who broke up with her boyfriend a year or two ago. Now she is single she is a huge flirt and will go with just about anyone, I went out with her a few times and then she stopped contacting me and cut me off completely. I heard it was because the boys (who were her friends and were always flirting with her) started to ask if I had a bf and other things... It's pathetic. I have a boyfriend and have no interest in them what so ever, my friend knew that. But she chose to lose a friend just so she could get some more male attention? I have now learned that some girls are so insecure they will do anything to put other girls down, attractive or not.
Let them get on with it because they are not worth it, not all girls are like that though. I find a smile goes a long way, even if your too shy to speak.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 68
Original post by JinnJamez
Read all the comments noob..


?

Don't see the relevance of that answer, but thanks anyway.
Reply 69
omg whats wrong with saying ur attractive? i hate this uniquely british attiude of modesty where you're not allowed to talk about your own strengths or good traits for fear of ebing labelled cocky or arrogant when really all you're doing is being positive about your good points (which is actually a pretty admirable life philosophy to be fair!)

I am attractive, there i said it. people tell me i am, i feel good when i look in the mirror, i get a lot of attention, get started on for being a ''pretty boy'' in clubs, so yeah i probably am lol

But seriosuly, am i not allowed to say it? am i allowed to feel a little but pleased with my self when i tell my friends i got the job, or am i allowed to have a little bit of self satisfaction when i do well in some exam? of course i am, does it make me cocky...NO, human? yes.

And only in britain could the two ever be confused. the land of the faux-well mannered and the fake modests. where success and self admiration are perversely seen as bad things. wt actual f?

leave Op alone
Original post by DisconcertingWink1
Who's the girl in your sig?! :eek: Is it Mila Kunis?


No, definitely not Mila Kunis. It's some french model/socialite

Her name is Zahia Dehar, I think.
I'm kind of the same, I was never popular and was a bit of a munter, but I do think I have improved looks wise in the past 2 years..haha. But I am shy when meeting new people, and people have said they thought I was 'aloof' before getting to know me. It's a pain in the arse because if I try and act all friendly from the off I know it will come across as being fake!
Reply 72
Most girls are not attractive - they just blend in.

It is like looking at sand grains on a beach - individually they tend not to warrant much attention.
Original post by Anonymous





Sigh.. I didn't say people aren't talking to me because I'm good looking. I said because I'm also quiet, people see me as stuck up or uninterested in them.


Right, well go talk to them then and show them you aren't stuck up.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your response, though I don't think you really got what I was saying. I have no issues with my appearance, and I don't want to be friends with those bitchy girls who obsess over make-up and stuff like that. I just don't like that some people view me as stuck up because of I am both quiet and attractive. I feel people see me and assume I must be loud and confident and then when I am quiet they think 'Oh she must think she is too good for us to speak to us'. I want to appear friendlier but I don't know how, I'm polite and take an interest in people, rarely talk about myself, what am I doing wrong!


You are doing nothing wrong at all. You are obviously a shy person - they are the ones not reading the book under the cover!!

Just because you are quiet and attractive means sod all to them. They won't feel intimidated by you/ thinking about you too good to talk to them. They are probably just happy with the friends who they have, and are too lazy to try and talk to you.

At the end of the day answer me this:
Are the friends that you have at the moment funny and helpful?
Are they kind to you?
Are they trustworthy?

And don't forget, there is a big world out there. Staying friends forever doesn't always happen. So make the most of whoever is there, have a laugh and just enjoy it.

p.s. I never really had a female friend who I talked to. It ended up being a guy who I talked the most with :tongue: And in a way sometimes it's best to have a male opinion on things ... :redface:
Reply 75
Hi I feel the same way the. The best thing to do although difficult since I'm very shy is to just put your self out there and talk first. Once I missed and opportunity to make friends because I thought they didn't like me so I just kept away from them but when I talked to one of them on Facebook they said they were just Shy to talk to me! Since I kind of unfriendly and unapproachable (not shy) to people just by standing still I have to talk to people first. I feel like dying when approaching someone new but I would feel even worse if that person could potentially be my friend and missed that opportunity. I mean the worst someone can do if I say hi is just to for them to walk away.
Reply 76
From another pretty giirl I feel you. All my friends changed up once I lost weight and I get girlsrandomely giving me death stares. Believe me girl I know how you feel, I still get sad about having no friends and not the huge group I did but with the way social media is set up everyones insecure and alot of girls can only be friends with girls that they see are beneath them, sorry to say but people who are average will say you're conceited but let me tell you Being pretty isnt pretty, people think we have it all because we look good but they dont see what comes with that jealous friends and just jealous people in general sorry but that's reality Every girl I have been friends with has either became weird said weird things to my bf after trusting them in my house, I have always been told I am intimidating because im tall 5,10 and attractive, I used to think when I was younger - be nice as hell and people will love you- but once i got into my 20s found myself became a real woman my friends and women around became jealous started doubting me throwing subliminals and just having bad energy, I wohld think to myself what did I do? Why do all these girls do the same thing? Now I am seeing that being my own bestfriend and having a loving relationship with my SO is my answer. Not friends because I have been so hurt by girls that I looked at as sisters....remember not everyone will understand but I understand
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I just wondered if anyone else is in a similar position as me.

I've never been one of the popular girls and I didn't become 'attractive' (in my opinion) until I was about 16/17. I've always had friends but these days they are few and far between apart from a couple of really good friends that I have had since I was about 13.

I find it hard to make friends. I'm quite quiet, not really shy just don't talk that much. I find I get along a lot easier with guys than girls, though I would quite like some female friends. Problem is, most of the girls I know are either very *****y and extremely concerned about self-image etc or they just don't want to know me. I've been told by one girl who I got to know while we were both wasted that she used to see me as quite intimidating before she got to know me because I didn't say much and was so 'pretty'. This made me quite sad as I get the feeling I must project this image of being stuck up or something when I am not.

I feel as though if I were average looking I would have more friends because girls either have that weird *****y thing where they hate other girls who are pretty (even though they are gorgeous themselves) or they see me as cold/un interested and as though I think I'm better than them or something.

How can I stop projecting this image? I'm not arrogant or stuck up, I'm just quiet, but I do want to get to know people! :frown:

I'm sure I will get some abuse for calling myself attractive because having decent self esteem clearly means I am a cocky ***** who thinks she is god's gift.. :dry: oh well

Anyway thanks in advance to helpful answers.


Honestly, I am in the exact same boat. I could've written this post myself!
Hey I feel the same just like you I think I’m attractive too but still don’t have real girlfriends it’s annoying
Being attractive can be a blessing and a curse. Wish I knew what that felt like.
Self depreicating jokes aside, although your quiet and shy why don't you try to reach out to peope in small ways? If you see someone struggling in class then offer to help or join a club around alot of people. Although this also do depend on if you are a extrovert or introvert.

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