Jim: [consoling Bart] What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
(Original post by BioFurMatPhyStudent)
"Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it promise....
Ok, everyone take some rubbers!"
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All these moments will be lost in time...like tears in the rain. Time to die."
"I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf"
"I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it? It's like when you put your head to the grass and you can hear the growin' and you can hear the insects."
"OK, here's what I want... first, we both get naked.
Except, we are both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with pepto-bismol, I clip your toe nails and you shave my buttocks." - Rat Race
Wash: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.
Mal: What in the hell happened back there?
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl 'cause... I don't think that's ever getting old.