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This is something on my mind that I needed to get out.

I just recently got into a relationship with a spanish-Indian girl. She speaks hindi and her parents are both hindu but she chooses to be atheist. She is also 2 years older than me as I'm 18 and she's 20. My parents are both tamil and if there ever comes a point where both of us want to marry each other, there is NOTHING that will come in the way. The tamil-culture has no influence on marriage and relationship whatsoever unless you choose it to be.

Original post by LeftArmOrthodox
This is something on my mind that I needed to get out.

I just recently got into a relationship with a spanish-Indian girl. She speaks hindi and her parents are both hindu but she chooses to be atheist. She is also 2 years older than me as I'm 18 and she's 20. My parents are both tamil and if there ever comes a point where both of us want to marry each other, there is NOTHING that will come in the way. The tamil-culture has no influence on marriage and relationship whatsoever unless you choose it to be.



Generally speaking Tamils are ethnocentric - they marry their own culture.Tamil parents don't generally approve of their children dating even other Tamil, let alone dating outsiders.As diaspora ofTamils, we have moved thousands of miles abroad in search of opportunity and to make a better life for ourselves. We have adopted foreign lands as our own, built places of worship, and formed cultural organizations and institutions to preserve our identity. One cannot deny that our unified Tamil identity and traditional Tamil values imparted to us by our parents a respect for elders, faith, traditions, education, marriage and family form the foundation of the success that diaspora Tamils enjoy today. And in a marriage in which both partners are Tamil, we are in a much more advantageous position to preserve and transmit these values to our children.But again i'm not surprised , you look westernized (no respect for your parents), I feel sorry for your amma and appa.
Original post by anonkutty
Generally speaking Tamils are ethnocentric - they marry their own culture.Tamil parents don't generally approve of their children dating even other Tamil, let alone dating outsiders.As diaspora ofTamils, we have moved thousands of miles abroad in search of opportunity and to make a better life for ourselves. We have adopted foreign lands as our own, built places of worship, and formed cultural organizations and institutions to preserve our identity. One cannot deny that our unified Tamil identity and traditional Tamil values imparted to us by our parents a respect for elders, faith, traditions, education, marriage and family form the foundation of the success that diaspora Tamils enjoy today. And in a marriage in which both partners are Tamil, we are in a much more advantageous position to preserve and transmit these values to our children.But again i'm not surprised , you look westernized (no respect for your parents), I feel sorry for your amma and appa.


lol where have you been? not all Tamils are ethnocentric and marry people from their own culture, nor are they strict about who their child marries. I have relatives who married Filipinos. Maybe the majority of Tamils marry people from their own culture but not all of them, don't make assumptions. Just because a tamil is westernized doesn't mean they don't have respect for their parents, stop acting like you know everything.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by anonkutty
Generally speaking Tamils are ethnocentric - they marry their own culture.Tamil parents don't generally approve of their children dating even other Tamil, let alone dating outsiders.As diaspora ofTamils, we have moved thousands of miles abroad in search of opportunity and to make a better life for ourselves. We have adopted foreign lands as our own, built places of worship, and formed cultural organizations and institutions to preserve our identity. One cannot deny that our unified Tamil identity and traditional Tamil values imparted to us by our parents a respect for elders, faith, traditions, education, marriage and family form the foundation of the success that diaspora Tamils enjoy today. And in a marriage in which both partners are Tamil, we are in a much more advantageous position to preserve and transmit these values to our children.But again i'm not surprised , you look westernized (no respect for your parents), I feel sorry for your amma and appa.


Well said, Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of india , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it's like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, "I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It's selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

This culture is different from the West.
But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family.

The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse.

Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi'. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for?
Western Culture - call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team.

Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason

Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils... westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married... and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric... exact opposite to the Tamil .

But in the west this isn't the case... People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance... reasons for divorce like... I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love...etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that's the major fear of every Tamil families ...when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner.

In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life...and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid's marriage life with someone from a culture...which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person...similar to gambling with their life....Celibacy is key to Tamil culture. As you said earlier , the westernized Tamils are a shame for our people(lack of respect for our culture and parents) which is why most of them end up in a divorce..
Original post by anonkutty
Generally speaking Tamils are ethnocentric - they marry their own culture.Tamil parents don't generally approve of their children dating even other Tamil, let alone dating outsiders.As diaspora ofTamils, we have moved thousands of miles abroad in search of opportunity and to make a better life for ourselves. We have adopted foreign lands as our own, built places of worship, and formed cultural organizations and institutions to preserve our identity. One cannot deny that our unified Tamil identity and traditional Tamil values imparted to us by our parents a respect for elders, faith, traditions, education, marriage and family form the foundation of the success that diaspora Tamils enjoy today. And in a marriage in which both partners are Tamil, we are in a much more advantageous position to preserve and transmit these values to our children.But again i'm not surprised , you look westernized (no respect for your parents), I feel sorry for your amma and appa.


Is infuriating that the same people that yell stop genocide in sri lanka are the ones engaging in interracial marriages. so much for the sri lankan tamil race. believe it or not largest concentration of sri lankan tamils in the world are in Toronto but wont be for too long with all the mulattoes. Thanks god there are stil some decent tamils here, the Tamils that go for these kind of things are mainly whitewashed/low castes/outcastes ones..The ones that can't speak/write in Tamil.

Original post by Chellam
Well said, Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of india , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it's like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, "I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It's selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

This culture is different from the West.
But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family.

The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse.

Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi'. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for?
Western Culture - call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team.

Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason

Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils... westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married... and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric... exact opposite to the Tamil .

But in the west this isn't the case... People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance... reasons for divorce like... I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love...etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that's the major fear of every Tamil families ...when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner.

In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life...and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid's marriage life with someone from a culture...which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person...similar to gambling with their life....Celibacy is key to Tamil culture. As you said earlier , the westernized Tamils are a shame for our people(lack of respect for our culture and parents) which is why most of them end up in a divorce..


You took the word of my mouth :smile:.Most of the Tamil unmarried girls are 30+ and probably were not serious about their virginity when they lost it. Now they have to compete with their much younger counterparts in the marriage market who have the advantage of their virginity. Their only hope now is to make videos like this to underplay the importance of virginity. In most conservative societies virginity is associated with chastity and commitment. Not to say that a non-virgin has a loose character but definitely that person prefers sexual pleasures more than moral commitments and therefore such persons are less likely to stay committed in long relationships such as marriages. Our culture taught us to control our Lust and many other negative things. MAN and WOMEN both should be VIRGIN otherwise they should not get offended when society doesn't accept it.

People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised. We should follow our culture sense of unity and bonding in family........... not the cheater wife with multiple partners with STD'S...... Au revoir!
Original post by bubblegumcat
lol where have you been? not all Tamils are ethnocentric and marry people from their own culture, nor are they strict about who their child marries. I have relatives who married Filipinos. Maybe the majority of Tamils marry people from their own culture but not all of them, don't make assumptions. Just because a tamil is westernized doesn't mean they don't have respect for their parents, stop acting like you know everything.


Posted from TSR Mobile


Vankam vankam vankam. One questionu. Imagine your parents gave you full freedom. You could do anything you want. Some white British families are like that. Full freedom as a girl. Not all of them but some of them have premarital sex with some random dude and comes back home with a kid. Some also become a cocaine addict somewhere in manitoba. Should they blame her parents for not bringing her up strictly? It all depends. You know what guys? It seems like its easy to blame the culture for everything. Have responsibility yourself. i urge all of you to do whatever the F you want and give it a try in this new generation. 20 years later, do tell me what your kids are saying. If "hey its your choice" culture works, then "Hey bear responsibility for your choices" culture should grow.

Now lets take a look at a English caucasian. The moment he/she wears anything brown or does anything brown like yoga, we south asians go full retard and feel that we are valued. I've seen tons of whitewashed brown kids bring their white friends to their house and feel valued when they eat anything like puttu. It stems from low self esteem and insecurity about one's identity or race.I can stretch this and even include interracial marriage.

Noticed that almost every brown dude in interracial marriage has a profile picture of him and his blonde wife on facebook. Their children's photos would be their cover page etc. Do you see tamil guys doing the same with tamil wives in such a flamboyant way? Same goes for dark tamil wives with white husbands. Its as though they escaped something and progressed onto something in life. That my friend....is called low self esteem and insecurity over who we are. Daaamn! I stretched it but yeah the bitter truth. And yes westernized tamils do not respect their parents, they behave like vellakarans.
gg
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Jesuisunpoulet
Vankam vankam vankam. One questionu. Imagine your parents gave you full freedom. You could do anything you want. Some white British families are like that. Full freedom as a girl. Not all of them but some of them have premarital sex with some random dude and comes back home with a kid. Some also become a cocaine addict somewhere in manitoba. Should they blame her parents for not bringing her up strictly? It all depends. You know what guys? It seems like its easy to blame the culture for everything. Have responsibility yourself. i urge all of you to do whatever the F you want and give it a try in this new generation. 20 years later, do tell me what your kids are saying. If "hey its your choice" culture works, then "Hey bear responsibility for your choices" culture should grow.

Now lets take a look at a English caucasian. The moment he/she wears anything brown or does anything brown like yoga, we south asians go full retard and feel that we are valued. I've seen tons of whitewashed brown kids bring their white friends to their house and feel valued when they eat anything like puttu. It stems from low self esteem and insecurity about one's identity or race.I can stretch this and even include interracial marriage.

Noticed that almost every brown dude in interracial marriage has a profile picture of him and his blonde wife on facebook. Their children's photos would be their cover page etc. Do you see tamil guys doing the same with tamil wives in such a flamboyant way? Same goes for dark tamil wives with white husbands. Its as though they escaped something and progressed onto something in life. That my friend....is called low self esteem and insecurity over who we are. Daaamn! I stretched it but yeah the bitter truth. And yes westernized tamils do not respect their parents, they behave like vellakarans.


Original post by Jesuisunpoulet
Is infuriating that the same people that yell stop genocide in sri lanka are the ones engaging in interracial marriages. so much for the sri lankan tamil race. believe it or not largest concentration of sri lankan tamils in the world are in Toronto but wont be for too long with all the mulattoes. Thanks god there are stil some decent tamils here, the Tamils that go for these kind of things are mainly whitewashed/low castes/outcastes ones..The ones that can't speak/write in Tamil.



You took the word of my mouth :smile:.Most of the Tamil unmarried girls are 30+ and probably were not serious about their virginity when they lost it. Now they have to compete with their much younger counterparts in the marriage market who have the advantage of their virginity. Their only hope now is to make videos like this to underplay the importance of virginity. In most conservative societies virginity is associated with chastity and commitment. Not to say that a non-virgin has a loose character but definitely that person prefers sexual pleasures more than moral commitments and therefore such persons are less likely to stay committed in long relationships such as marriages. Our culture taught us to control our Lust and many other negative things. MAN and WOMEN both should be VIRGIN otherwise they should not get offended when society doesn't accept it.

People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised. We should follow our culture sense of unity and bonding in family........... not the cheater wife with multiple partners with STD'S...... Au revoir!


Original post by Chellam
Well said, Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of india , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it's like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, "I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It's selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

This culture is different from the West.
But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family.

The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse.

Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi'. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for?
Western Culture - call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team.

Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason

Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils... westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married... and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric... exact opposite to the Tamil .

But in the west this isn't the case... People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance... reasons for divorce like... I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love...etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that's the major fear of every Tamil families ...when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner.

In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life...and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid's marriage life with someone from a culture...which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person...similar to gambling with their life....Celibacy is key to Tamil culture. As you said earlier , the westernized Tamils are a shame for our people(lack of respect for our culture and parents) which is why most of them end up in a divorce..


Original post by bubblegumcat
lol where have you been? not all Tamils are ethnocentric and marry people from their own culture, nor are they strict about who their child marries. I have relatives who married Filipinos. Maybe the majority of Tamils marry people from their own culture but not all of them, don't make assumptions. Just because a tamil is westernized doesn't mean they don't have respect for their parents, stop acting like you know everything.


Posted from TSR Mobile


Original post by anonkutty
Generally speaking Tamils are ethnocentric - they marry their own culture.Tamil parents don't generally approve of their children dating even other Tamil, let alone dating outsiders.As diaspora ofTamils, we have moved thousands of miles abroad in search of opportunity and to make a better life for ourselves. We have adopted foreign lands as our own, built places of worship, and formed cultural organizations and institutions to preserve our identity. One cannot deny that our unified Tamil identity and traditional Tamil values imparted to us by our parents a respect for elders, faith, traditions, education, marriage and family form the foundation of the success that diaspora Tamils enjoy today. And in a marriage in which both partners are Tamil, we are in a much more advantageous position to preserve and transmit these values to our children.But again i'm not surprised , you look westernized (no respect for your parents), I feel sorry for your amma and appa.


Ok, I think this is where there's a tamil consensus that is generalising Western civilisation. Now for anonkutty, you say I 'look westernized (no respect for your parents) I feel sorry for your amma and appa)''. This is really rude since you don't know anything about me yet you judge me as a westernized pompous brat who doesn't respect their parents. I was brought up with tamil tradition and values of the culture. I understand how tamil society works and it works universally. Growing up with tamil values, I've learnt that practising this tradition will not make everyone happy with their lives because they're having to make decisions based on the needs of elders/family/reputation. This concept is cynical and it needs to be just a choice in tamil households. This is how tamils live in society and the fact that lives are being 'governed' (I use that very emphatically] by discipline and values without any decent space of freedom of choice makes me sick to my stomach.

Let's take marriage for instance. More often than not, marriage has to be with the same sex, race, religion or you'll be disrespecting your elders and family. I don't agree with this so don't even judge me because it's just an opinion.

I'm trying not to be defensive because I feel every one has a choice and an opinion. When someone has a right to something, humans should not take that one step further and take it for granted. We should not be judging. This is one thing that tamils are infamous for.

Edit: This is a very interesting debate I must say!!!:smile: Keep going chellams.
(edited 9 years ago)
Lol the dude is living of his parents money and he talks about tamil culture....Most of tamils have arranged marriage , we do not interact with the opposite sex untill we get married....You are 20 year old and living of amma and appa and having fun with girls instead of studying....Western loser.Do not call yourself a Tamil , you are a shame to all of us.Hope you future mongrel kids will get bashed (yes in our community mixed race people are treated like ****).I bet you drink alcohol and take drug pundai mahane, your mom is a vessai.
Oh HE IS INDIAN THAT'S WHY most of your people are sell out and western wanabees.
Original post by Chellam
Well said, Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of india , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it's like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, "I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It's selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

This culture is different from the West.
But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family.

The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse.

Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi'. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for?
Western Culture - call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team.

Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason

Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils... westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married... and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric... exact opposite to the Tamil .

But in the west this isn't the case... People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance... reasons for divorce like... I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love...etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that's the major fear of every Tamil families ...when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner.

In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life...and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid's marriage life with someone from a culture...which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person...similar to gambling with their life....Celibacy is key to Tamil culture.

As you said earlier , the westernized Tamils are a shame for our people(lack of respect for our culture and parents) which is why most of them end up in a divorce..




Clearly every culture is going to be different. Everyone has different morals. It's a shame you have generalised western people and tamils. Obviously tamils who live in the western countries are going to differ in opinions to people who probably live in their country of origin. You are shaped as person by not only your family but by other people you talk to, where you live etc. This goes to any person living outside their country of origin.
I'm from Malaysia and having a lot of tamil friends! :biggrin:
I find tamil people super humorous and amusing(in a good way) especially when they say "aiyoyo..."
I love to watch tamil movies too.
Original post by Jesuisunpoulet
Is infuriating that the same people that yell stop genocide in sri lanka are the ones engaging in interracial marriages. so much for the sri lankan tamil race. believe it or not largest concentration of sri lankan tamils in the world are in Toronto but wont be for too long with all the mulattoes. Thanks god there are stil some decent tamils here, the Tamils that go for these kind of things are mainly whitewashed/low castes/outcastes ones..The ones that can't speak/write in Tamil.

You took the word of my mouth :smile:.Most of the Tamil unmarried girls are 30+ and probably were not serious about their virginity when they lost it. Now they have to compete with their much younger counterparts in the marriage market who have the advantage of their virginity. Their only hope now is to make videos like this to underplay the importance of virginity. In most conservative societies virginity is associated with chastity and commitment. Not to say that a non-virgin has a loose character but definitely that person prefers sexual pleasures more than moral commitments and therefore such persons are less likely to stay committed in long relationships such as marriages. Our culture taught us to control our Lust and many other negative things. MAN and WOMEN both should be VIRGIN otherwise they should not get offended when society doesn't accept it.

People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised. We should follow our culture sense of unity and bonding in family........... not the cheater wife with multiple partners with STD'S...... Au revoir!


It's our culture to save ourselves for our husband/wives
The majority of hindu women same to keep their virginities

My sisters are very beautiful and attractive. They are all still virgins

i'm proud of all asian people who migrate but try their best to preserve their culture... and not imitate americans or british etc

I am very proud of my sisters... that they are decent, respectable... and they keep their chastity and purity until they have their husbands.

Do you think i would feel good if my sisters married a man who is unclean ? Who gave himself to other women before marriage ?

Tamils are morally scrupulous, save themselves for marriage, understand the proper relation between men and women, understand courtship practices, and participate in arranged marriages. Western people, conversely, just sleep around, get married and divorced - in short they don't take relationships seriously. So there is this perception that may have need to be negotiated.

The best thing about Tamil culture is that both men and women preserve themselves and stay virgins for their future partner.. whom they are yet to meet...and probably years after. They lose virginity to their partner only and stay together forever. Remaining virgin is a choice. A choice made to show the ultimate love and respect for their future partner... regardless of how he/she looks, does, where they come from, what they do etc... This is also ultimate self control. If you can control yourself and remain virgin till you get married then you will find it easier to be with the one you are married to. Simple logic. Applied by both men and women.

For you, sex is just a physical contact which fulfilling your body needs. but for us sex is love. its a bond between the life partners. we want to be special for particular person whoever she may be.

If virginity is not makes the girl/guy special then what makes the girl special for you?
if your answer is heart means, are you sure your wife loving you only for entire life after moving for some other.?

Sex matters... since sex tells you how one can be close enough to a person... having sex with multiple partners / having had sex with multiple partners means thats... One can be close to so many people which disqualifies them for monogamy relationships.

in your point of view even if a girl says to her husband that she had sex before marriage, her husband who has been upholding virtues taught to him should to say to her Its ok?? i think that might not be possible here !!! because we people here are not like westeners !!

'How many Tamil girls have sex before marriage ?
The answer varies depends on her IQ , if its easy to trick women into having sex then they will have a lot of sex and blame their stupidity on Beta Provider .

See "Getting used by men is not a cheap mentality" but Marrying a virgin is "Cheap mentality"
You are suppose to Judge
see Low IQ leads to lower Impulse Control and sex before marriage , I mean Girls marry at age of 25-30 if she is not a virgin then what does it mean ? she is stupid , she gives away her vagina like that . Stop giving respect to these , and stop asking for their approval.

People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised.

Its not just about virginity.. i think we will have problems regarding their past love affairs even if it didnt result into sex.. its not just about us, nobody would want to hear about their parents sexual adventures either.. when we think about our parents we would feel uncomfortable about their first love, second love or third love..

Same way, if a man has premarital sex, I expect him to be upfront with any girl/woman who is his prospective wife. I do not want a non-virgin man to marry a virgin girl.

By repeating my words, I hope people get my message drilled into their heads.

I prefer non-virgins to marry only non-virgins; but once they marry, I want them to be totally monogamous, fully committed to their partners... 100%... until one of them dies. Their colourful pasts should not matter one bit.

I just hate hypocrisy and deceit and I want to see people open, honest and fair with others as well as with themselves.Please be honest with your future husband not many tamils accept use goods.

Most of the Tamil unmarried girls are 30+ and probably were not serious about their virginity when they lost it. Now they have to compete with their much younger counterparts in the marriage market who have the advantage of their virginity. Their only hope now is to make videos like this to underplay the importance of virginity. In most conservative societies virginity is associated with chastity and commitment. Not to say that a non-virgin has a loose character but definitely that person prefers sexual pleasures more than moral commitments and therefore such persons are less likely to stay committed in long relationships such as marriages. Our culture taught us to control our Lust and many other negative things. MAN and WOMEN both should be VIRGIN otherwise they should not get offended when society doesn't accept it.

Sorry but this is the harsh truth

I dont understand why are we Tamis trying to make our society sexually lose, look at west, almost every women there gets raped, single teenage mothers, its completely crumbling, following your desires does not makes you modern or cool.

Tamils do not understand that we are better then west when it comes to culture and family traditions, its actually sad to see the new generation trying to learn **** from west, dont they see whats happening there already? STDs, generations of teen age mothers, illegitimate children, such victims get lured into sex business and drugs...., The west some how seems to be oky with it which is why they dont know their own fathers or family, they end up being psychologically damaged, doing drugs, etc if you wanna practice such untamil bull**** get go where its practiced dont bring that **** here in our culture.
Original post by ThamizhanFrench
It's our culture to save ourselves for our husband/wives
The majority of hindu women same to keep their virginities

My sisters are very beautiful and attractive. They are all still virgins

i'm proud of all asian people who migrate but try their best to preserve their culture... and not imitate americans or british etc

I am very proud of my sisters... that they are decent, respectable... and they keep their chastity and purity until they have their husbands.

Do you think i would feel good if my sisters married a man who is unclean ? Who gave himself to other women before marriage ?

Tamils are morally scrupulous, save themselves for marriage, understand the proper relation between men and women, understand courtship practices, and participate in arranged marriages. Western people, conversely, just sleep around, get married and divorced - in short they don't take relationships seriously. So there is this perception that may have need to be negotiated.

The best thing about Tamil culture is that both men and women preserve themselves and stay virgins for their future partner.. whom they are yet to meet...and probably years after. They lose virginity to their partner only and stay together forever. Remaining virgin is a choice. A choice made to show the ultimate love and respect for their future partner... regardless of how he/she looks, does, where they come from, what they do etc... This is also ultimate self control. If you can control yourself and remain virgin till you get married then you will find it easier to be with the one you are married to. Simple logic. Applied by both men and women.

For you, sex is just a physical contact which fulfilling your body needs. but for us sex is love. its a bond between the life partners. we want to be special for particular person whoever she may be.

If virginity is not makes the girl/guy special then what makes the girl special for you?
if your answer is heart means, are you sure your wife loving you only for entire life after moving for some other.?

Sex matters... since sex tells you how one can be close enough to a person... having sex with multiple partners / having had sex with multiple partners means thats... One can be close to so many people which disqualifies them for monogamy relationships.

in your point of view even if a girl says to her husband that she had sex before marriage, her husband who has been upholding virtues taught to him should to say to her Its ok?? i think that might not be possible here !!! because we people here are not like westeners !!

'How many Tamil girls have sex before marriage ?
The answer varies depends on her IQ , if its easy to trick women into having sex then they will have a lot of sex and blame their stupidity on Beta Provider .

See "Getting used by men is not a cheap mentality" but Marrying a virgin is "Cheap mentality"
You are suppose to Judge
see Low IQ leads to lower Impulse Control and sex before marriage , I mean Girls marry at age of 25-30 if she is not a virgin then what does it mean ? she is stupid , she gives away her vagina like that . Stop giving respect to these , and stop asking for their approval.

People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised.

Its not just about virginity.. i think we will have problems regarding their past love affairs even if it didnt result into sex.. its not just about us, nobody would want to hear about their parents sexual adventures either.. when we think about our parents we would feel uncomfortable about their first love, second love or third love..

Same way, if a man has premarital sex, I expect him to be upfront with any girl/woman who is his prospective wife. I do not want a non-virgin man to marry a virgin girl.

By repeating my words, I hope people get my message drilled into their heads.

I prefer non-virgins to marry only non-virgins; but once they marry, I want them to be totally monogamous, fully committed to their partners... 100%... until one of them dies. Their colourful pasts should not matter one bit.

I just hate hypocrisy and deceit and I want to see people open, honest and fair with others as well as with themselves.Please be honest with your future husband not many tamils accept use goods.

Most of the Tamil unmarried girls are 30+ and probably were not serious about their virginity when they lost it. Now they have to compete with their much younger counterparts in the marriage market who have the advantage of their virginity. Their only hope now is to make videos like this to underplay the importance of virginity. In most conservative societies virginity is associated with chastity and commitment. Not to say that a non-virgin has a loose character but definitely that person prefers sexual pleasures more than moral commitments and therefore such persons are less likely to stay committed in long relationships such as marriages. Our culture taught us to control our Lust and many other negative things. MAN and WOMEN both should be VIRGIN otherwise they should not get offended when society doesn't accept it.

Sorry but this is the harsh truth

I dont understand why are we Tamis trying to make our society sexually lose, look at west, almost every women there gets raped, single teenage mothers, its completely crumbling, following your desires does not makes you modern or cool.

Tamils do not understand that we are better then west when it comes to culture and family traditions, its actually sad to see the new generation trying to learn **** from west, dont they see whats happening there already? STDs, generations of teen age mothers, illegitimate children, such victims get lured into sex business and drugs...., The west some how seems to be oky with it which is why they dont know their own fathers or family, they end up being psychologically damaged, doing drugs, etc if you wanna practice such untamil bull**** get go where its practiced dont bring that **** here in our culture.


Best reply I ever seen.

Mind you our culture and tradition is known in the world by its spirituality and values.
Those who preach and advocate pleasure and materialism are blinded by their mind for that. They will find all the arguments and excuses for fulfilling their temptations.

Remember the good things in life are always difficult to do while the bad things are easy. Refraining from sex is difficult while doing it is far easy.

Being honest is difficult, lying is easy and hence forth.
Original post by kkellyywong
I'm from Malaysia and having a lot of tamil friends! :biggrin:
I find tamil people super humorous and amusing(in a good way) especially when they say "aiyoyo..."
I love to watch tamil movies too.


Haha so so cool! :biggrin:

Ahaha yess that's funny to me too ^_^

I'm so glad that you like to watch tamil movies - I've rarely heard that from others!
Original post by bubblegumcat
was wondering why this thread died down but then i realised that OP has been banned...oh :frown:


OP's back. Tried to get myself unbanned on the senz72 account but it's been a week so using this one.

How have you been?
Original post by SenSel
OP's back. Tried to get myself unbanned on the senz72 account but it's been a week so using this one.

How have you been?


oh hey, and yeah I've been ok, how are you? what happened to your other account?


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Requested a ban since I was going loopy on a certain thread causing grief to others. Wasn't pretty.

Are you at uni now?

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Original post by SenSel
Requested a ban since I was going loopy on a certain thread causing grief to others. Wasn't pretty.

Are you at uni now?

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ohh I see, and no I'm doing my a levels, AS exams next month😰


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Original post by bubblegumcat
ohh I see, and no I'm doing my a levels, AS exams next month😰

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Oooh AS levels. Good luck! I'm assuming you're doing the traditional bio, chem, physics and maths combo?

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