LDR chat thread VIII

Now my problem is, that because his last gf of 7 years cheated on him, hes just said, 'id be lying if I said it wasn't on my mind' I'm so upset he's always said if anyone ever did anything remotely like that then it would be over instantly so now i'm worried that these doubts are gonna make him end it with me all because some SICKO thinks this is funny I dont know what I ever did to deserve this!!!!

Jess - Sorry, on my iPod and messed up the quote. I don't think anyone's saying that those who need it shouldn't get it, just that it should be more controlled. We're having problems now trying to sort out benefits for my uncle, he had a brain tumour 20 years ago and is partially deaf and blind and has low concentration so he took early retirement last year (after working full time for years after this happened). Now the benefits place are saying he can work and they won't pay disability benefits, just JSA or something. I don't know a lot about it tbh. But when you hear about people playing the system and getting everything when they have a 'bad back' or something it is annoying. Suppose it's the same idea here.

I asked about extra time cos you might know, does that sort of stuff move on into the workplace? There's a dyslexic girl in my class and she gets the extra time but how will that work when she's competing with the rest of us for jobs? If she can't work as fast will Boots or whatever have to lower her targets? I've not really thought about it before but now I'm curious.

JB - Are you sure he's annoyed and not just busy?

I cant even bare to go onto my emails.... nathan tried to trace the IP but it went to america! so someones probably using a proxy or vpn of sorts. He said he believes me, I'm just gutted that someones so sadistic that they would do this to him! They can do what they like to me, i dont care, but bringing him into it is just so hideous!

I've emailed my ex but he's not replied yet. I havent dared reply to that email though because I'm scared that if theyll say and do that, what else would they do?

We're almost certain its her. Her housemate is apparently scarily good with computers and would have the ability to do what we're almost certain he's done. It freaks me out that more people could be involved in this. I'm not sure what I ever did to her! He's the one who dumped her not me! the boy is really struggling to cope with this! Ex is going to the police when he gets home tomorrow!

We're almost certain its her. Her housemate is apparently scarily good with computers and would have the ability to do what we're almost certain he's done. It freaks me out that more people could be involved in this. I'm not sure what I ever did to her! He's the one who dumped her not me! the boy is really struggling to cope with this! Ex is going to the police when he gets home tomorrow!

We're almost certain its her. Her housemate is apparently scarily good with computers and would have the ability to do what we're almost certain he's done. It freaks me out that more people could be involved in this. I'm not sure what I ever did to her! He's the one who dumped her not me! the boy is really struggling to cope with this! Ex is going to the police when he gets home tomorrow!

I don't have a problem with things like dictaphones being given, as that's specialised equipment that will directly help people with dyslexia and such, and extra time in exams for people with disabilities is absolutely essential, but a laptop... is a laptop. Everyone that goes to university needs a laptop. I would be screwed without my laptop, as would be everyone else on my course, and I just think it's fairly patronising towards everyone else at university without a disability that people with one are given a free laptop, because we need one too, and we have to pay! Laptops are a necessity for everyone, and as such, I think it's actively unfair that people with disabilities get them for free. If someone was disabled and had financial issues then it would be more understandable, but as the situation currently stands, I don't think it's right. Controversial opinion, perhaps, but there you go.

edit: one thing that really is absolutely ridiculous about the free laptop thing is that it's a MacBook. I don't know whether that's been changed, but yeah. If you're going to give out a free laptop, why waste so much more money on giving out one of the most expensive models you can buy? I have a ****ty old HP laptop because that's all I could afford at the time.

a) the "standard" laptop is not a MacBook. Yes, I'm sure some people get MacBooks, but I didn't.
b) I absolutely couldn't have run the software that I need (voice to text software, for example, to change dictated notes into something that I can highlight and annotate) on my ancient, slow XP machine.
c) I couldn't have afforded to buy one before uni. The number of part time jobs that I can do is limited due to the fact that I can't spend time on my feet - I can't shelf-stack, I can't work in McDonald's, I can't waitress.
d) I would trade everything I get not to be disabled. Every single last thing. There are so many things that I'm never going to be able to do: wear high heels with a pretty dress, run around after my future children (or, even, in fact, hold my future children while walking since I still fall over at the age of 22)... the list goes on. Fancy a swap?

You might think it's "actively unfair", but life isn't fair. Yes, they could make the system "fairer", but this is not my responsibility, and I don't understand why I should have to defend myself when I need the equipment I fought hard to get. I didn't choose to be like this. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone, "free Macs", or not.

And I'm sorry if I sound angry and upset, but I am. I work flipping hard to cope with the day-to-day realities of living away from home and going to university, and I'm just disappointed that people begrudge me the things that make my life easier, purely because of some "dyslexic people" that get something for nothing.

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Jelly, I am SO sorry. I don't even know what to say. It's obviously someone's idea of a very sick joke. I hope everything works out.

I completely understand your anger. I get to take discretionary time off work for my physio sessions each week and for consultations with ortho docs (which often run to a whole half a day) - people have made comments about this being unfair which really irks me. They've also whinged to me about the time I will get off work for my operation (in September hopefully) is 'excessive', as it may run to 12 weeks depending on the outcome. I would give anything to not have the problems I was born with, problems that I didn't choose to have, that make everyday tasks like walking so painful and difficult for me, and require extensive physio and surgery.

I'm not sure how people can be so ignorant/naive to think that having a problem that necessitates special measures can possibly be a 'good' thing - I would give anything to be normal. I'm not comparing my situation to yours (as, by the sounds of it, you have had a very hard time of it and I truly admire you for being so brave and going to uni etc despite the obstacles you've faced), but I think there are parallels between our situations and wanted to say you're not alone in feeling the way you do.

*phew*.

for JB, what a vindictive, callous person xx

Jason got a Macbook with his dsa. He needed a mac as all his department used them. Also, everyone gets about a £3000 allowance (at Exeter anyway) that covered everything - including extra tutor support for the course over the 3 years. It's up to your advisor how it gets spent. I got a laptop with my dsa, a dictaphone and an epen.