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LDR chat thread VIII

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Need last minute Christmas gift ideas? Come and visit Santa's grotto! 17-12-2014
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    I can't even remember when I started posting in here! I think I started off by posting fairly sporadically, but started posting regularly when the OH went away on the ship in May last year.

    I just got back to York and I'm absolutely exhausted. I don't know what it is about travelling that completely takes all my energy away it's strange when you think about it because all you're doing on trains is sitting there, but it makes me feel sooooo tired. I cba to revise tonight at all but I really have to :sad:
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)

    200?! Pounds or euros? Either way, no chance. Even a scabby flat outside Glasgow would be at least £250/£300. That's not your fault though and I'm sure your mum knows that.
    Euro, At least that's what they listed when explaining why I am getting so little funding. Oh well.
    I know she doesn't mind but it just doesn't sit right with me somehow. I am looking forward to starting to earn my own money.


    Wow Trish, that's a cute post looking back. I like how you said he has warm hand- a good quality in a guy
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    Grrrrrrrr

    Benji's friend (the one who I really, really don't like, and who has made me cry before) is going to Download. Going to have to persuade the boy that we want to camp with my friends, not his...
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    (Original post by Buecherwurm)
    Euro, At least that's what they listed when explaining why I am getting so little funding. Oh well.
    I know she doesn't mind but it just doesn't sit right with me somehow. I am looking forward to starting to earn my own money.


    Wow Trish, that's a cute post looking back. I like how you said he has warm hand- a good quality in a guy
    Isn't it just Spent a while going through those posts getting all emotional ^.^ He still has warm hands and I still have cold ones

    Went out for a quiet drink down the Quay last night...ended up having far too much wine, going to Gandys and then clubbing it up in Vaults (the gay club). Had a hilarious moment though: When me and Ams went different ways (her to get pizza and home, me for KFC and home) I inherited a few guys who wanted use of my umbrella - as I walked into KFC they shouted out "Hey, this girl is called Rhianna, and she's got an umbrella" and about 10 people joined in going "ella ella eh eh eh!" :rofl:

    Had far too much wine though J looked after me though ^.^ and I'm not feeling too rough this morning...yet!
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    Morning thread

    Arrgg, wish the bloody rain would stop! I need to go shopping cause I've got practically no food, but it's pissing with rain >_<
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    Some idiot has really upset and annoyed me in another TSR thread (I think I've linked you to my reply, but I also quoted the original post). Some people are so ignorant. It's not even just the OP, but the 40+ people who have repped him. :sad:
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    (Original post by jeh_jeh)
    Some idiot has really upset and annoyed me in another TSR thread (I think I've linked you to my reply, but I also quoted the original post). Some people are so ignorant. It's not even just the OP, but the 40+ people who have repped him. :sad:
    :console: People suck sometimes :sad:
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    (Original post by jeh_jeh)
    Some idiot has really upset and annoyed me in another TSR thread (I think I've linked you to my reply, but I also quoted the original post). Some people are so ignorant. It's not even just the OP, but the 40+ people who have repped him. :sad:
    :hugs: your post made some really good points but, while I don't necessarily agree with his post, some people do take advantage. Mark's friend from uni got a Mac because he was dyslexic while the rest of the class had to pay for theirs. I think it's things like that that annoy people. But then we're back to what we were discussing yesterday about how things like loans are decided, it is all a bit confusing and unfair.

    What do you think about things like extra time in exams? I don't begrudge you it obviously but it puzzles me a bit.
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    :hugs: your post made some really good points but, while I don't necessarily agree with his post, some people do take advantage. Mark's friend from uni got a Mac because he was dyslexic while the rest of the class had to pay for theirs. I think it's things like that that annoy people. But then we're back to what we were discussing yesterday about how things like loans are decided, it is all a bit confusing and unfair.
    This, tbh. My sister was officially diagnosed as dyslexic last week and she'll get so much free stuff when she goes to uni in September. Having extra time in exams is obviously fine, but I do not understand, at all, why being dyslexic should entitle you to a free laptop, and I think it's really quite unfair on everyone else even my parents and sister have said they think it's a bit ridiculous. It's not as if being dyslexic prevents you from buying a laptop. Equally, I know an absolute **** who went to uni, got a free laptop for his dyslexia, dropped out, and still has the laptop over two years later...
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    :hugs: your post made some really good points but, while I don't necessarily agree with his post, some people do take advantage. Mark's friend from uni got a Mac because he was dyslexic while the rest of the class had to pay for theirs. I think it's things like that that annoy people. But then we're back to what we were discussing yesterday about how things like loans are decided, it is all a bit confusing and unfair.

    What do you think about things like extra time in exams? I don't begrudge you it obviously but it puzzles me a bit.
    (Original post by rainbow drops)
    This, tbh. My sister was officially diagnosed as dyslexic last week and she'll get so much free stuff when she goes to uni in September. Having extra time in exams is obviously fine, but I do not understand, at all, why being dyslexic should entitle you to a free laptop, and I think it's really quite unfair on everyone else even my parents and sister have said they think it's a bit ridiculous. It's not as if being dyslexic prevents you from buying a laptop. Equally, I know an absolute **** who went to uni, got a free laptop for his dyslexia, dropped out, and still has the laptop over two years later...
    Disclaimer: I got a free laptop. But, then again, my disability means that I have zero fine motor skills (I was still using velcro shoes long after everyone else because I couldn't tie my shoe laces; my mum had to put clips on my school skirts because the button was too fiddly) and so I physically can't keep up with note-taking in lectures, and I would be scoring less than 40% if you asked me to handwrite an exam, purely because I wouldn't be able to get the information down fast enough.

    I guess the rationale behind giving people free laptops is that for a lot of people with disabilities (I don't know about dyslexia, since I have no experience of it) it is the only way they can go to university, and so it's considered a necessity. I literally couldn't do my degree without a decent laptop - it has to be reliable because I use it for everything - writing essays, storing audio notes.

    Being disabled is actually pretty expensive, in my experience - endless hospital appointments (when I was eleven, I was in hospital for six months having multi-stage orthopaedic surgery in Oswestry (because it's the best place). I live in Stafford, so my mum clocked up some serious mileage driving between the two places, because you can't just leave an eleven year-old in hospital on her own for half a year, and I had three other siblings, all younger, at this point), and even stuff like shoes and clothes were, and still are, a pain for me. I couldn't just walk into a shop and pick whatever I wanted - I spent a year plus in a contraption that was basically moulded plastic around my hips, with two straight pieces of metal that followed the outside of my legs that screwed into my shoes to try and straighten my legs, and then I was in and out of serial plaster - they basically plaster cast your legs into all sorts of positions to try and realign the muscles/bones as you grow. I still can't just go and buy any pair of shoes because my feet physically won't go into them. And through all this my mum had to quit work because her employers just couldn't give her the flexibility.

    There's always people who screw the system in any arrangement, but that doesn't make other people less deserving. As far as keeping equipment goes - that's the rule, since it comes direct from the supplier (you just get given the money to buy it, essentially), where else would it go?

    And, again, yes, maybe some people get more than maybe they need, but for some people it's an absolute lifeline. By not having this system in place, a lot of people would be strongly discouraged from going to uni, especially since the arrangement doesn't just give people free laptops.

    Extra time really does vary from person to person. Some people get it because they dictate their exams if they can't write/type, which obviously takes more time. I get it because sitting at a desk, typing at a computer, is exhausting for me and I need the rest breaks, otherwise I get such bad screen-stare headaches. Even writing essays at home, I need to have a break every hour, or so.

    I know this probably seems like an easy, and self-pitying thing (and I don't mean it like that, at all) for me to say, but I would give it all back to just be like everyone else - my car, my special arrangements, everything. So many things that other people take for granted (like walking around a shopping centre without feeling physically exhausted, or being able to wear a pair of heels) I will never be able to do, and no amount of "freebies" will ever change that. I don't mean this in a "don't argue with me, feel sorry for me" way, but I do think a lot of people (not you guys) think that all this - like not having to queue at theme parks - somehow compensates for it, especially because I don't look especially disabled.
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    Jess - Sorry, on my iPod and messed up the quote. I don't think anyone's saying that those who need it shouldn't get it, just that it should be more controlled. We're having problems now trying to sort out benefits for my uncle, he had a brain tumour 20 years ago and is partially deaf and blind and has low concentration so he took early retirement last year (after working full time for years after this happened). Now the benefits place are saying he can work and they won't pay disability benefits, just JSA or something. I don't know a lot about it tbh. But when you hear about people playing the system and getting everything when they have a 'bad back' or something it is annoying. Suppose it's the same idea here.

    I asked about extra time cos you might know, does that sort of stuff move on into the workplace? There's a dyslexic girl in my class and she gets the extra time but how will that work when she's competing with the rest of us for jobs? If she can't work as fast will Boots or whatever have to lower her targets? I've not really thought about it before but now I'm curious.

    JB - :hugs: Are you sure he's annoyed and not just busy?
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    (Original post by jeh_jeh)
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    I don't have a problem with things like dictaphones being given, as that's specialised equipment that will directly help people with dyslexia and such, and extra time in exams for people with disabilities is absolutely essential, but a laptop... is a laptop. Everyone that goes to university needs a laptop. I would be screwed without my laptop, as would be everyone else on my course, and I just think it's fairly patronising towards everyone else at university without a disability that people with one are given a free laptop, because we need one too, and we have to pay! Laptops are a necessity for everyone, and as such, I think it's actively unfair that people with disabilities get them for free. If someone was disabled and had financial issues then it would be more understandable, but as the situation currently stands, I don't think it's right. Controversial opinion, perhaps, but there you go.

    edit: one thing that really is absolutely ridiculous about the free laptop thing is that it's a MacBook. I don't know whether that's been changed, but yeah. If you're going to give out a free laptop, why waste so much more money on giving out one of the most expensive models you can buy? I have a ****ty old HP laptop because that's all I could afford at the time.
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    some people are SICK!!! I'm so upset!!! :cry2: I dont know what to do :cry2:
    What's happened?! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    some people are SICK!!! I'm so upset!!! :cry2: I dont know what to do :cry2:
    :jumphug: What's happened? :console:
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
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    someone sent nathan and me an email with the subject 'is Lizz cheating?' and inside read 'would you know if she was cheating.... I think not LOL' and then they attached a pic that was taken while I was with my ex! I'm absolutely devastated that someone hates me enough to do something like this!! and whoever it is, my ex has some ****ing explaining to do!!! The boy is so upset and I'm sat here crying trying to convince him i'd never do anything like that to hurt him :cry2: I don't know what to do :sad: I'm so upset and I can't stop crying!
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    Massive :hugs: Jeez, that's disgusting, I can't believe someone would stoop that low. No wonder you're upset :hugs:. Do you have any idea who it could be?
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
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    someone sent nathan and me an email with the subject 'is Lizz cheating?' and inside read 'would you know if she was cheating.... I think not LOL' and then they attached a pic that was taken while I was with my ex! I'm absolutely devastated that someone hates me enough to do something like this!! and whoever it is, my ex has some ****ing explaining to do!!! The boy is so upset and I'm sat here crying trying to convince him i'd never do anything like that to hurt him :cry2: I don't know what to do :sad: I'm so upset and I can't stop crying!
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    That is ridiculous and a horrible thing to do I can't believe anyone would do that! :hugs: Is there any way you can prove it was taken when you were still with your ex? Like, can you prove that it was uploaded to Facebook ages ago or anything like that? Stay strong, you and your boy are so much better than whichever sadact is responsible xx
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    Now my problem is, that because his last gf of 7 years cheated on him, hes just said, 'id be lying if I said it wasn't on my mind' I'm so upset he's always said if anyone ever did anything remotely like that then it would be over instantly so now i'm worried that these doubts are gonna make him end it with me all because some SICKO thinks this is funny :bawling: I dont know what I ever did to deserve this!!!!
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    Oh gosh, that makes it even harder :hugs: I guess just keep reassuring him that you would never do that to him, and I'm sure he'll understand that eventually - he just needs to get over the shock of what that evil person did.

    How long is til you're back in England and can talk to him face to face?
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    Jess - Sorry, on my iPod and messed up the quote. I don't think anyone's saying that those who need it shouldn't get it, just that it should be more controlled. We're having problems now trying to sort out benefits for my uncle, he had a brain tumour 20 years ago and is partially deaf and blind and has low concentration so he took early retirement last year (after working full time for years after this happened). Now the benefits place are saying he can work and they won't pay disability benefits, just JSA or something. I don't know a lot about it tbh. But when you hear about people playing the system and getting everything when they have a 'bad back' or something it is annoying. Suppose it's the same idea here.

    I asked about extra time cos you might know, does that sort of stuff move on into the workplace? There's a dyslexic girl in my class and she gets the extra time but how will that work when she's competing with the rest of us for jobs? If she can't work as fast will Boots or whatever have to lower her targets? I've not really thought about it before but now I'm curious.

    JB - :hugs: Are you sure he's annoyed and not just busy?
    Jason is dyslexic, and he is a productivity based job. If you don't get the targets you get a strike, and 3 strikes and you're out. He is above productivity for everything bar one thing, didn't make a fuss of his dyslexia, but when he got a strike he went to his boss with the statement. His work are now reducing his target for that particular area by 10% - he still has the original strike as he didn't inform them before he started. (The area involves reading and saying what the people want - so if you can't read fast you're a bit stuck!)

    We had someone start with us (didn't stay long) but he was extremely dyslexic, so we had a speech recognition programme installed on his computer for him. Employers have to give appropriate support for things like that.
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    Massive :hugs: JB... Can't believe it
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
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    unfortunatley, and very embarrassingly, its not the kind of photo you upload to facebook. Oh my god I just want to crawl in a hole and die this is devastating
    Right click on the photo and see the details - sometimes photos save details (such as when it was taken) which may help? Although if they screen shotted it or anything it won't help. But if it's the original you might be lucky...
Updated: August 13, 2012
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