[Buecherwurm]

I get a ridiculously amount of student loan and always really late (haven't seen anything this year yet and am still in courts with them over last years-go figure). But even when they pay it's like 100euros a months or something, apparently a flat shouldn't cost more than 200 in Glasgow. Well thanks, you try and find me one.

Without my mum's help I could never do it, but I hate being dependent on her. Not that she ever says anything but I feel like I should not have to ask my parents for money when I am 24. But I am struggling with my work load as it is and I couldn't take a job I think. Not during term time at least.

[jeh_jeh]

(Original post by New...Romantic)

Spoiler:

Show

I think this is something most eldest siblings have to put up with unfortunately. Parents seem to move to goalposts for no real reason sometimes. But just think how much more prepared you'll be for real life and your parents must appreciate everything you've done.

I know medical students with part time jobs so I don't think that's really a reason not to work if money's an issue, especially in the early years. If speaking to your parents hasn't worked, what about her? It'll probably turn into a fight but she's nearly 19, she's an adult and it sounds like she needs to hear it. Is it her birthday or another sister? If it's another one then you could, for example, say to her tomorrow (not today or you might ruin the birthday) 'so where was X's present?' and that'll start the discussion. Might not be pleasant but she must be driving you mad.

Spoiler:

Show

No, I know, and I really don't care with petty things - being allowed a television, ears pierced, at a younger age, etc - but I just feel like this is taking the mickey!

My parents actually brought it up with her (she's the second sibling) last night. It's my fourth sister's birthday today, and I casually asked my mum to wrap her present for me (I'm rubbish!) and my parents actually said to her, "So, have you bought her a present?" "No." "Are you going to?" "No." I've tried talking to her about it before, but she gets REALLY defensive and starts whining about how "once the money's gone, it's gone" and how she's got to make it last for years. Yes, really. I'm hesitant to bring it up with her again because I'm conscious of feeling like the embittered, jealous older sister, and I really feel like it's my parents' responsibility to make sure that she pulls her weight.

(Original post by New...Romantic)
x

No, I understand entirely, but the fact that the fees are less is probably the reason why the loan is also less, despite the fact that it doesn't really make any sense in reality (apart from leaving you with less debt at the end).

[Jellybean91]

(Original post by jeh_jeh)
Is your overdraft maxed out? I think you can apply for an extension as you go through your degree.

---

Ugh, this is going to sound really petty, but it's REALLY winding me up:

Spoiler:

Show

Since I was eighteen (ie since I started uni) I've bought Christmas and birthday presents for my immediate (mum, dad, siblings (and, actually, step-family, too) family because, really, I'm an adult now and should be learning to budget, etc. I got £1,000 from my grandparents when I got into Warwick, but have received no other help from my parents (and we also don't qualify for the means tested grant). Like I said, I worked in various holidays, too (and during term time as a favour to my Dad because someone was unexpectedly taken ill at work), to boost my income because I have a car (on Motability, so I don't pay tax or insurance, but I pay for all my own petrol. And, to be honest, I'd trade my FIAT 500 for a pair of legs that work any day of the week).

My sister (yes, you can see where this is going) is almost nineteen, never buys anyone anything (apart from her boyfriend) - it's my sister's birthday today, for example - has a BlackBerry phone contract provided by my parents (they always said to me that I had to pay as soon as I wanted to go onto contract, and once texting took off four or so years ago, it made absolutely no sense to stay on PAYG) and shares a car with my Mum and another sister who's not passed her test yet. My parents tax and insure it - fine, I'm not complaining about that, since I don't have to pay that either (albeit for different, non-parent controlled, reasons) - and put all the petrol in. She's never paid for a single drop.

Okay, so she's a medic so getting a job in term time (or Christmas or Easter holidays) would be a pain, but she had an academic scholarship for two years that paid for half her school fees a year. My grandparents (who paid our fees) gave her that money (because her ability had effectively saved them money) plus £1,000 when she left for uni. I've got no qualms with that, either, because she worked hard to be awarded that scholarship but, the point is, I absolutely know she's got more money in the bank than me (and I'm not destitute) and yet she pays for nothing. And because my parents know I've got extra money in the bank, they've never supported me at uni, despite topping sister's bank account up regularly "because her loan barely covers her accommodation." Hello, neither does mine.

I've tried bringing it up with my parents, and they just keep saying "Well, you can afford it." That's not the point! They have said that she'll have to pay for her own phone contract when it's up for renewal, but I don't know whether they'll hold her to that since it's got a year+ left, by which time I'll be long gone. And then they just accuse me of being "bitter and jealous." Well, to be honest, yeah, it does make me a bit jealous when she's getting money thrown at her left, right and centre.

I think I can extend it further but its hardly ideal to go into a postgrad £1500 into an overdraft and I don't want to spend my entire final year worrying about not spending a penny cos its not my money

Spoiler:

Show

thats really quite unfair your parents don't seem to see it that way though I guess money can be such a struggle as a student, and stuff like that just makes it worse I'm lucky that my mum still helps me out a little, but I'm expected to work during holidays if i want to pay for anything like my car or seeing the boy! Thankfully my insurance doesnt seem too steep this year but tax, mot (which i've no doubt my car will fail AGAIN) and petrol are killing me maybe you should talk to your parents about how your loan barely covers your rent aswell, and how you're in exactly the same boat as her, only you work to pay for the things she just gets given to her?

Edit: Also I have to admit to being guilty for being helped out with things that my siblings never got help with in fairness, but one never went to uni, and for the other, she went to uni so long ago things were a lot cheaper, I mean when she wasn't commuting in from home, her rent cost her £35 per week!!! I go to uni in the same place, 10 years later and it cost me £79 per week!! Somethings not right there!!!

[Jellybean91]

(Original post by New...Romantic)
Part time job? Easier said than done I know. The loan system is terrible. I couldn't even afford to move away for uni so stayed at home for first and second year to save up. Then last year I got £2500 cos I moved out. My parents aren't rich or anything, we just get much smaller loans in Scotland. I managed cos I had savings, had worked full time over summer and had a part time job. But I don't think I really needed the savings, I could have survived on just my wages and loan.

Yeh I think part time job is going to have to be the answer, but then, heres the thing, if I get a part time job and have to work weekends, I'll never have time to go across the country and see the boy I really don't know i'd hate it if, when I finally get to stay in england, I get to see him less than being abroad because I can't pay rent otherwise, but I guess i have no option

[jeh_jeh]

(Original post by Jellybean91)
I think I can extend it further but its hardly ideal to go into a postgrad £1500 into an overdraft and I don't want to spend my entire final year worrying about not spending a penny cos its not my money

Spoiler:

Show

thats really quite unfair your parents don't seem to see it that way though I guess money can be such a struggle as a student, and stuff like that just makes it worse I'm lucky that my mum still helps me out a little, but I'm expected to work during holidays if i want to pay for anything like my car or seeing the boy! Thankfully my insurance doesnt seem too steep this year but tax, mot (which i've no doubt my car will fail AGAIN) and petrol are killing me maybe you should talk to your parents about how your loan barely covers your rent aswell, and how you're in exactly the same boat as her, only you work to pay for the things she just gets given to her?

Spoiler:

Show

The thing is, though, is that I can afford my life right now - and it's not like I want my parents to give me extra money - but I just think it's unfair that she gets a free ride. They have said that they'll make her take over her own phone contract and my Mum had, literally, a two minute talk with her about how she should contribute towards the petrol and she just keeps saying she's "stressed". So, really, talking to my parents never achieves anything, because I don't think my Mum can be bothered with the fall out, and the more I push it the more she accuses me of being "bitter and jealous."

She's the first medic in my family - and I have no doubt that she works very hard - and there's this magic aura around her degree. So them making her pay for basically anything is unlikely since she's far too busy to work. In fairness, she's now at the end of her first year - and hasn't got anything lined up for the summer - and from next summer (and she has exams in January and straight after Easter) her summer holidays do start getting shorter (boyfriend's on the same course), so I doubt anything'll change.

[New...Romantic]

(Original post by jeh_jeh)

Spoiler:

Show

No, I know, and I really don't care with petty things - being allowed a television, ears pierced, at a younger age, etc - but I just feel like this is taking the mickey!

My parents actually brought it up with her (she's the second sibling) last night. It's my fourth sister's birthday today, and I casually asked my mum to wrap her present for me (I'm rubbish!) and my parents actually said to her, "So, have you bought her a present?" "No." "Are you going to?" "No." I've tried talking to her about it before, but she gets REALLY defensive and starts whining about how "once the money's gone, it's gone" and how she's got to make it last for years. Yes, really. I'm hesitant to bring it up with her again because I'm conscious of feeling like the embittered, jealous older sister, and I really feel like it's my parents' responsibility to make sure that she pulls her weight.

No, I understand entirely, but the fact that the fees are less is probably the reason why the loan is also less, despite the fact that it doesn't really make any sense in reality (apart from leaving you with less debt at the end).

Spoiler:

Show

Well it is your parents' responsibility really and their money so I suppose their decision. But if it was me I would be making her feel guilty about things like presents. Sorry I know she's your sister and this is a bit mean but presents don't have to be expensive, a card and some chocolate is less than £5, but it's the thought that counts and not doing it (for your own little sister) could be seen as selfish. I moan at my sister all the time for stuff like this, like the fact I had a job at 17 and she's been saying she can't cos there aren't any/she has too much work on. But she's doing a trial for a waitressing job today so fingers crossed she gets it and realises that she's just been making excuses.

Aw I see what you're saying. Yeah, there's only so much money in the pot and I know I'm lucky but I'm still bitter about not being able to move away in first year.

(Original post by Jellybean91)
Yeh I think part time job is going to have to be the answer, but then, heres the thing, if I get a part time job and have to work weekends, I'll never have time to go across the country and see the boy I really don't know i'd hate it if, when I finally get to stay in england, I get to see him less than being abroad because I can't pay rent otherwise, but I guess i have no option

I know it's rubbish but I had a part time job since before I started uni and things just work round it. Fortunately Mark could make up his hours during the week and visit some weekends, does your boyfriend work? He could visit you some weekends. And you'll get 4/5 days holiday a year which sounds like nothing but I still feel like I managed to go down to Liverpool loads, considering. Or there are places that do evening shifts, that could leave your weekends free? Although I wouldn't have been able to do uni all day and work at night, sounds like hell.

(Original post by Buecherwurm)
I get a ridiculously amount of student loan and always really late (haven't seen anything this year yet and am still in courts with them over last years-go figure). But even when they pay it's like 100euros a months or something, apparently a flat shouldn't cost more than 200 in Glasgow. Well thanks, you try and find me one.

Without my mum's help I could never do it, but I hate being dependent on her. Not that she ever says anything but I feel like I should not have to ask my parents for money when I am 24. But I am struggling with my work load as it is and I couldn't take a job I think. Not during term time at least.

200?! Pounds or euros? Either way, no chance. Even a scabby flat outside Glasgow would be at least £250/£300. That's not your fault though and I'm sure your mum knows that.

[jeh_jeh]

(Original post by New...Romantic)

Spoiler:

Show

Well it is your parents' responsibility really and their money so I suppose their decision. But if it was me I would be making her feel guilty about things like presents. Sorry I know she's your sister and this is a bit mean but presents don't have to be expensive, a card and some chocolate is less than £5, but it's the thought that counts and not doing it (for your own little sister) could be seen as selfish. I moan at my sister all the time for stuff like this, like the fact I had a job at 17 and she's been saying she can't cos there aren't any/she has too much work on. But she's doing a trial for a waitressing job today so fingers crossed she gets it and realises that she's just been making excuses.

Aw I see what you're saying. Yeah, there's only so much money in the pot and I know I'm lucky but I'm still bitter about not being able to move away in first year.

Spoiler:

Show

I try and make her feel as guilty as I can, but she's always like, "Yeah, but you worked!" (Yes, I did work... last year (I do have regular outgoings, y'know, like phone bill and petrol - neither of which she pays for herself). I don't think she understands that making some money at some point in the past doesn't mean that I've got a never-ending supply of cash. And, actually, I worked because that's what people in the real world do. And, yes, she's doing a degree now, but I actually worked in the summer after her exams, so she had exactly the same amount of free time as me.) So I don't know how much of it she takes notice of, and how much she just ignores.

It's definitely selfish, especially now that she stumps up the cash for Christmas and birthdays for her new-ish boyfriend. Well, exactly. I bought my sister a book that I know she wanted and it was less than a tenner. Admittedly I forgot a card, but that's unusual. And I know she's got four siblings and parents, but surely she can budget less than £60 over the course of an entire calendar year - it hardly breaks the bank.

It is ridiculous, though. I sometimes think the government are just brainless.

[Flo[ProActiv]]

Jeh about the sibling stuff.

Also for all concerning the loan stuff. I'm very lucky that my parents can afford to help me out, otherwise this year I would have been left with about £30 for the entire year to cover food/bills/general expenses/etc. When I lived in college it was even worse, I had ~£1K+ shortfall between my loan and my accomodation (although bills and food were included).

----

Blah. Need to shift my bum and go to the library. I've got a couple of books to pick up, and am undecided whether to stay there and work or bring them home. Think it'll depend how big they are

[*Interrobang*]

Jess - mine isn't as bad as yours, but I know that my sis has an easier ride of it than I did at her age

[22KT22]

(Original post by *Interrobang*)

Its ok it made me feel old as i remember you passing your mark and graduating! I have been on here like 5 years now!!!!!

I turn old tomorrow... 22 sounds old me no likey!! But at least i have the boy here... currently sat working on my bed with him at the desk, can't help but smile.

[miraclemile]

Jeh. I know it's not the same, because I'm an only child, but I mean, even so, I've bought my parents a present or two and a card for their birthdays, Christmas and Mothers'/Fathers' Day, with my own money, every year since I was about 13. And, terrible as it is to admit, I've never had a job. So frankly, I think she's being ridiculous.

And to everyone about loans/accommodation. My accommodation costs alone for the year are way over my loan money, but luckily my parents are willing and able to help out, so I can actually live!

Seems awful to say when everyone's worrying about money, but I had such a successful shopping trip this morning! Got some work clothes for the week's interning I'm doing in May, and hopefully some more over summer, and some shoes I've been eyeing up on various internet sites for a while, but from an actual shop, where I could try them on (I'm terrible, can't buy off the internet, I just worry about stuff not fitting :P) and they were at least a fiver cheaper! So I'm very happy today! And considering the boy is in 12-8 today, it's nice to have something lovely to do to forget about the lack of contact, instead of my usual revision.

[*Interrobang*]

(Original post by 22KT22)
Its ok it made me feel old as i remember you passing your mark and graduating! I have been on here like 5 years now!!!!!

I turn old tomorrow... 22 sounds old me no likey!! But at least i have the boy here... currently sat working on my bed with him at the desk, can't help but smile.

Some of us have been here for a while now!

[Flo[ProActiv]]

Boo, it's started raining again

Was supposed to being going to the bar with friends tonight, but if it carries on, I'm not sure I want to go out

[Sephrenia]

(Original post by *Interrobang*)
Some of us have been here for a while now!

I joined 7 years ago now (nearly...) and came into this society 5 years ago! You guys ahve been through the endings of 2 relationships and the startings of 2 with me

[hbandtr4eva]

I've been here since June 2007 and have been in the Soc from the very beginning Now I feel old. It's three years for me and Andy on Thursday, I can still remember telling you guys about that first night!

[miraclemile]

I feel so young and new now...

[Sephrenia]

(Original post by hbandtr4eva)
I've been here since June 2007 and have been in the Soc from the very beginning Now I feel old. It's three years for me and Andy on Thursday, I can still remember telling you guys about that first night!

I still remember posting this!

[rainbow drops]

I can't even remember when I started posting in here! I think I started off by posting fairly sporadically, but started posting regularly when the OH went away on the ship in May last year.

I just got back to York and I'm absolutely exhausted. I don't know what it is about travelling that completely takes all my energy away it's strange when you think about it because all you're doing on trains is sitting there, but it makes me feel sooooo tired. I cba to revise tonight at all but I really have to

[Buecherwurm]

(Original post by New...Romantic)

200?! Pounds or euros? Either way, no chance. Even a scabby flat outside Glasgow would be at least £250/£300. That's not your fault though and I'm sure your mum knows that.

Euro, At least that's what they listed when explaining why I am getting so little funding. Oh well.
I know she doesn't mind but it just doesn't sit right with me somehow. I am looking forward to starting to earn my own money.


Wow Trish, that's a cute post looking back. I like how you said he has warm hand- a good quality in a guy

[Flo[ProActiv]]

Grrrrrrrr

Benji's friend (the one who I really, really don't like, and who has made me cry before) is going to Download. Going to have to persuade the boy that we want to camp with my friends, not his...